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Finding other femme women in Dublin

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Comments

  • #52
    pharmaton
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,192 ✭✭✭pharmaton


    well I have no funds to make it to Dublin for a meet but I hope ye have a great time :)


  • #53
    GrandBlaa
    Registered Users Posts: 119 ✭✭GrandBlaa


    Boo, the evening is no good :(

    Ah well, have fun guys!! I mean, ladies!


  • #54
    Ambersky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,220 ✭✭✭Ambersky


    Pharmaton said
    awh c'mon, if a group of self-identifying femmes want to get together by themselves that should be ok too, no? (I don't think I am myself tbh)

    The expression or suggestion of this being a group for self-identifying femmes wasnt mentioned anywhere in this thread until I used it in my last post.
    I was asking and indeed hoping that the group would be inclusive enough to be self-identifying but I wasn’t presuming that it would be and that’s why I asked the question.

    There are all kinds of options when setting up groups. A femme group like all kinds of other groups, in defining the kind of member they are looking for are also by definition excluding people by saying they are looking for this kind of member but not any other kind of member.
    A womens LGBT group for example is looking for women members and not for male members. A womens LGBT group excludes men.
    A femme group will exclude others just who those others are isnt clear yet. It may seem more inclusive to just not say who you are not including but that can also lead to people not joining in because they are "not sure" if they fit the criteria.

    Even when a group initially doesn’t want to think about who is in and who is out, it will come up eventually and it can be better to think about such things before you are faced with the situation. Anyway thinking about who you are and what you are about is usually a very useful exercise.


  • #55
    pharmaton
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,192 ✭✭✭pharmaton


    I think they had very obviously self identified Amber. I mean, I understand the point you are making, I just don't think it's that relevant here. People form groups naturally based on similar identities and commonalities, surely we should be able to trust our on judgment in these circumstances, rather than police the shít out of everything.


  • #56
    Ambersky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,220 ✭✭✭Ambersky


    Pharmaton I dont think you do get my point.
    My point isnt whether "they" as in those who have posted suggesting this group self identify. Its whether anyone who self identifies can join and that can be quite a wide group.

    Far from policing the group Im suggesting quite the opposite. I was the one who brought up self identification in the first place and suggested self identification as a way to be as inclusive as possible of future members.

    As I have said when people are not sure what the criteria are they might not go in case they dont fit the group.
    In your posts you first said in relation to a group of self identifying femmes
    (I don't think I am myself tbh)
    and then said
    well I have no funds to make it to Dublin for a meet but I hope ye have a great time
    That sounds like you yourself arent sure if you fit the criteria and I dont blame you, Im just trying to clarify it a bit. Its ok to clarify things isnt it.
    Anyway if the group gets together and if it continues meeting all this will evolve naturally. Unfortunately that sometimes means someone has to tell someone that they dont fit in and that can feel unfair when it wasnt stated clearly what the group was about in the first place.


  • #57
    pharmaton
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,192 ✭✭✭pharmaton


    I think you're thinking too much about it. If you read back through the posts it appears as though a number of women who identified as femme wanted to get together. Does it really require an groupthink in order to pass the bar? Jaysus Amber, it's just a few people on the internets attempting to reach out to other people in the same boat.
    I've read a lot of your posts over the years and I've always enjoyed your perspective and insight, I do get it. It's simply a case of I don't find myself in that boat so I don't really identify. I mean, if ya have to ask then it's probably something you don't identify with ergo probably wouldn't want to attend. Have I gone a bit simple in my old age?

    (I'm not really into meeting people myself so its a bit of a non goer for me either which way, also if it's a general discussion on how you identify, maybe that's a different discussion for another thread)


  • #58
    Ambersky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,220 ✭✭✭Ambersky


    Pharmaton its just a question.

    My question was
    Is being femme self defining for this group, as in if you say you are femme its taken that you are femme or do you have to be able to pass for straight, that would be an awful measure.

    The first response was "Lord no! I sincerely hope not!"
    Another poster said she didnt mind who went but she was just attracted to femmes.

    A simple answer could have been
    Yes its a self defining group anyone who feels like they are femme are welcome to come along.

    No ones under attack. I think you thought that it was those who were asking for clarification that were going to "police" the meeting somehow saying who was in or who was out and actually I think its the reverse of that where the questions are being asked to help avoid people feeling like they couldnt go.
    That was my intention with the question anyway and I like your posts too I just dont know what you are upset or annoyed about really.


  • #59
    pharmaton
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,192 ✭✭✭pharmaton


    I'm not upset at all! If anything I'm just being typically facetious. Ya know, we love a good old label discussion here every now and again. We'll have to organise a butch/androgynous/don't know what I am/don't care gathering sometime soon ;)


  • #60
    RagsOBrien
    Registered Users Posts: 70 ✭✭RagsOBrien


    I don't mind who attends any meetup that takes place. I identify as femme but I wouldn't like to exclude anyone based on whether or not they are femme. I think people can decide for themselves whether they fit into a group or not and it shouldn't be for others to decide on their behalf. The 'more the merrier' is my motto as already articulated by another poster!


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  • #61
    lady111
    Registered Users Posts: 20 ✭lady111


    Hi ladies, I agree with rags, and everyone is welcome. Let's not overthink it as it may discourage any meeting , and meeting up sounds beneficial and could be some fun, you never know ! :-)


  • #62
    taz2014
    Registered Users Posts: 2 ✭taz2014


    lady111 wrote: »
    Hi guys,

    Interested to see your post ! I'm in the same predicament. I'm very femme and like the same but am gay !! Meet up would be great..

    Hi completely new to this. From looking at the posts I think I missed the meet up. Im very femme aswell & bi curious. Is it possible to private msg off this site??


  • #63
    lady111
    Registered Users Posts: 20 ✭lady111


    Hi taz, maybe not a bad idea , welcome to the group.!


  • #64
    lady111
    Registered Users Posts: 20 ✭lady111


    Also there has been no meet up as yet, I'm going to try the gay scene tonight I think.


  • #65
    taz2014
    Registered Users Posts: 2 ✭taz2014


    lady111 wrote: »
    Hi taz, maybe not a bad idea , welcome to the group.!

    Thanks, are there any more nights planned or was this a once off group discussion?


  • #66
    Blogatron52
    Registered Users Posts: 33 ✭Blogatron52


    Hey Taz! This is the first of this kind I've seen! I'm interested and a few others are but it seems to lack the final oomph to go through with it!! (Me included!) *freaked*


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  • #67
    Annasopra
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 41,104 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    Blogatron52 wrote: »
    Hey Taz! This is the first of this kind I've seen! I'm interested and a few others are but it seems to lack the final oomph to go through with it!! (Me included!) *freaked*

    There's no need to be freaked!

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



  • #68
    Blogatron52
    Registered Users Posts: 33 ✭Blogatron52


    I know!! Everyone is totally friendly and nice! I'm a 'baby steps' kinda girl! :) totally rooting for everyone tho.. to meet up.. Have a great time.. Let me know how it goes.. Then il sneak in for the 2nd or 3rd rendezvous! Lol!


  • #69
    RagsOBrien
    Registered Users Posts: 70 ✭✭RagsOBrien


    I'd say the August meetup could well go ahead- seems to be a fair amount of interest. As long as there a handful of folks up for going along then it's feasible.


  • #70
    Ash885
    Registered Users Posts: 639 ✭✭✭Ash885


    As a gay man I've never been so looking forward to meeting girls haha come along, should be a good meetup!


  • #71
    Lauren3142
    Registered Users Posts: 77 ✭✭Lauren3142


    So is there going to be a meet up ?


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  • #72
    GrandBlaa
    Registered Users Posts: 119 ✭✭GrandBlaa


    I hope so...! :confused:


  • #73
    RagsOBrien
    Registered Users Posts: 70 ✭✭RagsOBrien


    Yea sames- really would be cool to meet everyone...so who is going so?


  • #74
    Daith
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,058 ✭✭✭Daith


    Hey so we're having a meetup on the 30th. You should all pop along. :)


  • #75
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Daith wrote: »
    Hey so we're having a meetup on the 30th. You should all pop along. :)

    Hey guys is this day or night, I'll defo go !


  • #76
    lady111
    Registered Users Posts: 20 ✭lady111


    Daith wrote: »
    Hey so we're having a meetup on the 30th. You should all pop along. :)

    Hey, I'd like to join if others do...is it day or night time ? I'm 30 so I'm not sure if age group is ok..?


  • #77
    Annasopra
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 41,104 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    lady111 wrote: »
    Hey, I'd like to join if others do...is it day or night time ? I'm 30 so I'm not sure if age group is ok..?

    Theres no specific age group. Its daytime.

    see here

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



  • #78
    Daith
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,058 ✭✭✭Daith


    lady111 wrote: »
    Hey, I'd like to join if others do...is it day or night time ? I'm 30 so I'm not sure if age group is ok..?

    Yes of course. No age limit. I'm older than you :) Add your name to the list on the topic sure.


  • #79
    Countess Markievicz
    Registered Users Posts: 15 ✭Countess Markievicz


    Might pop along to this


  • #80
    Lauren3142
    Registered Users Posts: 77 ✭✭Lauren3142


    Did i miss the meet up ????


  • #81
    Annasopra
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 41,104 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    Any of you women want to join the Zoo outing on Saturday?

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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  • #82
    Lauren3142
    Registered Users Posts: 77 ✭✭Lauren3142


    Aw the zoo !!! They have lots of babies in there i will definitely think about it


  • #83
    J.e.n
    Registered Users Posts: 2 ✭J.e.n


    Hi all, just reading thru this thread and can totally identify having just moved back to Dublin after a few years away.
    Everyone i know here is straight and really dont fancy a night out alone 😟 (i think i'd feel like a sad bastard lol) I'm not looking for a relationship but would love to meet other gay girls in the same boat for drinks and a bit of craic

    Partner in crime free to a good home 😠ðŸ»ðŸ»


  • #84
    babysock88
    Registered Users Posts: 24 ✭babysock88


    I would also be up for a meetup of like-minded people- just for friendly purposes...I don't know many queer people and it would be cool to potentially expand the circle of friends as well!


  • #85
    Ambersky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,220 ✭✭✭Ambersky


    I was never sure exactly what the femme meeting was going to be but in the end it seemed the intention was a get together for self identified femmes and anyone who wanted to join femme women in a get together, bi's, dykes, men, butches, no labels, etc.
    Although thats been a bit difficult to actually get organised and people to sign on to, in this thread up to now anyway, I would just like to remind femme women that there are many femme women already involved in LGBT groups. Groups have various dynamics, popular people, sub sets, organisers, joiners, complainers etc etc. Sometimes its the butch women who feel discriminated against, sometimes its the femmes or the fashionably dressed or the women from the country as opposed to those from Dublin, all of that goes on anywhere when the group gets big enough to a greater or lesser extent.
    I would suggest going along to some of those meetings and giving it a bit of time, to meet women like yourself or to give those who may be a bit different to yourself a chance. Who knows in no time at all you may find yourself comfortable with a group of your own friends to meet up with every now and again.

    Just as femme women are welcome to join a boards meet up going along to the zoo with others or out for a night they are also welcome to join any of the womens events held in Dublin or anywhere else in the country.

    Here is a list of some of the groups femme women can join there are more around the country if you look them up.

    Running Amach
    A Social Club for adult women (over 18 years of age) who want to meet new people, develop new friendships, participate in common interest activities (the possibilities are endless), network, share resources, build 'a sense of community' and have a bit of Craic!
    http://www.meetup.com/Dublin-LGBTQ-Womens-Social-Networking-Club/

    First Out
    First Out is a Dublin-based group for women of all ages, who are questioning their sexuality or considering “coming out”.
    firstout@firstout.ie
    http://www.firstout.ie/

    Girls Night In @ Outhouse
    From movie and pizza night to self-defence classes, skill swapping to meditation classes, Girls Night In is the perfect midweek event which really has something for everyone.
    (01) 873 4999
    http://www.outhouse.ie/page16.html

    BeLonGTo
    BeLonG To is the national organisation for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered (LGBT) young people, aged between 14 and 23.
    01 670 6223
    www.belongto.org

    Linc Peer Support Cork
    A support group for lesbian and bisexual women. The aim of the group is to allow people to share their experiences, participate in discussion in a safe space.
    021-4808600
    info@linc.ie
    http://www.linc.ie/peer-support-group/

    Clare Women's LGBT network
    Womyn's group in Ennis Co Clare for LGBTQ womyn and friends to come together to support each other and socialise in a friendly safe and supportive space.
    Phone 065 6828731
    Email clarewomen@eircom.net
    https://www.facebook.com/pages/Clare-Womens-Network-LGBT-Womyns-Group/349944841776558


  • #86
    Ash885
    Registered Users Posts: 639 ✭✭✭Ash885


    I think the meetup on the forums would be good fun and a good outlet for anyone such as the people in the thread. Remember that we all need a circle of friends, people to go out with, or even have the chats with. Who knows where friendship can lead you to down the line! (even if it is with men...ewww xD)


  • #87
    J.e.n
    Registered Users Posts: 2 ✭J.e.n


    Would any of you lovely ladies or gents fancy a meet up say next weekend or the one after for a few drinks and a good natter??


  • #88
    babysock88
    Registered Users Posts: 24 ✭babysock88


    All sound good! Although I'm not around the weekend of the 1st of November or the coming one but outside of that, I am flexible and would like to pop along to a meetup!


  • #89
    Daith
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,058 ✭✭✭Daith


    Would you not come to the meetup on the 8th?


  • #90
    babysock88
    Registered Users Posts: 24 ✭babysock88


    Hey Daith,

    Yep I can go to the one on the 8th if it's at night alright....Sweetmans is a good venue anyway with it being so central!!


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  • #91
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    studentoflife wrote: »
    I would like to ask the same question about Galway. I've been to the G bar a couple of times but there is not much women. Where does one meet femme women in Galway?

    Hi, I'm looking into finding out where to meet femme women too... I'm new to this scene and have no clue where to meet bi women as l've just recently realised I'm into women too.... I'm not comfortable going to the G Bar either as I want to be discreet, I've been a couple of times and definately not many women.... and I'm not very confident for chatting up random women!


  • #92
    ToodlyWoodly
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 40 ✭ToodlyWoodly


    Hope it's ok to resurrect this old thread! I'm just wondering if ye arranged a meet up that time? I find myself in a similar situation so would be great to meet up and get to know others :)


  • #93
    avb00
    Registered Users Posts: 23 ✭avb00


    Resurrecting this thread, wondering if any of you still use boards or if there’s any meetups here for femmes in their 20s?



  • #94
    roomwithaview
    Registered Users Posts: 30 ✭roomwithaview


    Anyone interested in organising a femme meetup? Similar situation here and would love to meet other femmes too.



  • #95
    roomwithaview
    Registered Users Posts: 30 ✭roomwithaview


    Bumping this.

    If anyone would like to join a whatsapp group or similar so perhaps we could arrange meetups please pm me. Its so hard to meet other femmes.



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