Is having children selfish?

Joe1919 wrote: »

But there is a desire to reproduce. This 'desire to reproduce' not only applies to our desire to reproduce children but also applies to our desire to reproduce ideas, works, art etc. This is seen as part of a greater mechanism of nature. Ideas actually compete with one another etc. Dawkins talks about 'memes' but some of this idea can also be traced back to Plato (Diotima's speech in the Symposium).

Ah but that's a different thing altogether. When Dawkins talks memes and the propagation of ideas, he discusses their tendency to unconsciously propagate, without a guiding intelligence or wilful force. In exactly the same way that genes do.

The desire to have children in itself may arguably be a meme, in that many possess this desire due to the same unconscious processes which cause us to say "Fnck" when we injure ourselves, or sing a catchy tune in our heads.

But biologically we cannot be urged to reproduce because biologically we are one step separated from the process itself. Our bodies know how to encourage us to begin the procreation process, but cannot instinctively implant the knowledge of how that process works in our intelligence. Animals desire to mate. They do not instinctively understand that mating leads to reproduction. Hell, many humans don't even understand that.

Is having children selfish? Hardly.


Raising children is bloody hard work. If anything it's selfless. In todays society of 'ignore your neighbour.' It's even more difficult.


SD

OP I think you probably got a bad reaction on your first thread because to be honest, the way you come across in it is shocking. To say that you get shipped off at 18 because of all the agro but oh its ok because they brought it on themselves, is just asking for trouble in my opinion. (Can I also say, my youngest brother is 24 and is still living at home, and does not have any intention of moving out so not all parents

I personally cannot get my head around your way of thinking. Firstly, you say you think it selfish to have kids but yet say at the end that you would like your own one day....does that make you selfish then? Ok, I do understand your adoption point and yes, ideally it would be great if everyone could adopt the kids currently in orphanages. But I don't think you realise how difficult and expensive it is! So because of the cost alone, this option is simply out of the question for many people.

Plus, I think its a beautiful thing to have a child with the man or woman you love. I myself think it is the must UNSELFISH thing to have kids. I don't have any kids myself but I know they are in my future no questions. And like you said, if I cant have kids, I would love to adopt or even foster! I do however have two young nephews who I am extremely close to. I lived with my eldest nephew for the first two years of his life and I can tell you, the things that parents do to protect their children and give them a happy life is more than anyone can do for another living person.

I think until a person has their own kids, you just cannot comment properly on this subject.

Also wanted to say, I gathered from the other thread that you are a man. I don't want to be sexist at all, and I apologise if I come across that way, but I do think the desire to have children...especially their own children...tends to come more from women than men which might explain your views on having kids. Do you have a partner? I would be curious as to what they think on the subject. I know that I personally cannot wait till the day I have my own children, my boyfriend on the other hand is not fussed much. Yes, he would like to be a dad one day but he doesn't have the desire like I do.

fr336 wrote: »

1. I didn't say that the get rid of them at 18 thing goes for all parents. You obviously didn't read properly.

2. You seem shocked I would call myself selfish. I might do, but tbh how do you know for sure what my actual opinion is? Was I trying to gauge opinion? For sure...hence the question mark.

3. You didn't come across at all sexist.

I agree I don't know what your actual opinion is but in your original post you say "is it selfish to have children?....I obviously think so". Your second quote in response to NomadicGray is "I have made my opinion" so you cant blame me for assuming that is your opinion when you stated it twice!

I do admit that because I want kids so much, I do find it hard to see where you are coming but its a good topic and something I never considered!

egghead. wrote: »

So you admit you want kids so much, so it's a personal satisfaction reason.


Is that not kind of saying it's a selfish act, something to make you happy ?

Oh good god, this thread is getting seriously finicky between you and the "society doesn't reproduce..individuals do"

Yes, technically it would be considered selfish but then nearly everything could be considered selfish. I treated myself to dinner last night even though there is people dying of hunger all over the world....I suppose that is considered selfish too! It reminds me of the episode of friends when Phoebe is trying to find a selfless good deed....they dont exist because you always end up feeling good about yourself after your good deed!!!!

Look I was asked a question...do I think its selfish....no, PERSONALLY (which I have said personally, or in my opinion many many times) I dont think it is selfish ...that is my answer, you wont change my mind regardless how you put it!

Sorry, another person mentioned society and I meant between your comment and their comment, this thread is getting to be a bit of a joke!

Unfollowing now because this thread is clearly going no-where! Adios!!!

Think people are going slightly off topic here! The OP did not ask about the population in Japan!!!