Manners: opinions sought

Yorky · 07-06-2014 12:31AM #1

Please bear with while I relay a recent situation:

Two friends arrange to meet for 40 minutes until one of their children arrives by bus.

They go in to a local hotel and at the entrance one of them bumps in to an old acquaintance and proceeds to have a 25 minute conversation with them.

The other doesn't know the acquaintance so they find a seat nearby to sit and wait on their own.

The friend eventually rejoins the other and casually says "howya" to them, doesn't apologise and proceeds to check their phone.

The 'waiting friend' quietly says - tongue in cheek - that they have died in the meantime and only their skeleton remains. They then say " To be frank, I think that was rude - I would've got your acquaintances phone number and arranged to meet them another time".

The other replies coldly " It won't happen again" repeatedly and will not elaborate when asked what they mean, also saying "I don't give a damn if it's an equivocal statement, it won't happen again". Silence descends for a couple of minutes until the "waiting friend" announces they are going to leave, stands up , shakes hands with their friend and leaves.

Would appreciate any opinions on this.. Was there a lack of manners,respect or consideration shown on either or both parts in this scenario?

Thanks in advance.

hairyprincess · 07-06-2014 12:33AM

I choose (c)

--LOS-- · 07-06-2014 12:34AM

so which friend were you OP?

Sulla Felix · 07-06-2014 12:34AM

Whichever one you were OP, you were in the wrong.

waraf · 07-06-2014 12:37AM

That doesn't sound like much of a friendship OP

dee_mc · 07-06-2014 12:38AM

The one that talked to her 'acquaintance' was rude; the 'waiting friend' was snarky and rude.
This is only a big issue if you make it into one...

Alf. A. Male · 07-06-2014 12:38AM

The two of them are as rude as each other and the "it won't happen again" seems to mean the person saying it won't bother arranging to meet the passive-aggressive one again.

Gone Drinking · 07-06-2014 12:39AM

Women...

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 07-06-2014 12:41AM

Say wut?
Friend A talks to someone. Friend B is mad. Friend B snaps at A for speaking to X. And friend A is the rude one?

Did I miss anything

Pompous · 07-06-2014 12:43AM

I would have left after 15 minutes.

I think your friend was inconsiderate to leave you waiting for 25 mins. When you made your frank point about it being rude you were being fairly reasonable, honest, and straightforward. This is a good thing.

It would have been nice to get an apology instead of "It won't happen again", but regardless I think you should have left it at that. You made your point and there was no need to push the issue any further.

If you live your life expecting other people to abide by what you consider to be ethical standards you will become very frustrated very quickly. Sometimes you just have to accept other people's imperfections.

So friend A was wrong to leave friend B waiting and friend B was wrong to push the issue. Keep in mind this is all just my opinion.

RobbingBandit · 07-06-2014 12:45AM

Insert Joker not sure if serious gif.

PizzamanIRL · 07-06-2014 12:45AM

Were any of the people involved good looking?

Tail Docker · 07-06-2014 12:48AM

Yorky wrote: »

Please bear with while I relay a recent situation:

Two friends arrange to meet for 40 minutes until one of their children arrives by bus.

They go in to a local hotel and at the entrance one of them bumps in to an old acquaintance and proceeds to have a 25 minute conversation with them.

The other doesn't know the acquaintance so they find a seat nearby to sit and wait on their own.

The friend eventually rejoins the other and casually says "howya" to them, doesn't apologise and proceeds to check their phone.

The 'waiting friend' quietly says - tongue in cheek - that they have died in the meantime and only their skeleton remains. They then say " To be frank, I think that was rude - I would've got your acquaintances phone number and arranged to meet them another time".

The other replies coldly " It won't happen again" repeatedly and will not elaborate when asked what they mean, also saying "I don't give a damn if it's an equivocal statement, it won't happen again". Silence descends for a couple of minutes until the "waiting friend" announces they are going to leave, stands up , shakes hands with their friend and leaves.

Would appreciate any opinions on this.. Was there a lack of manners,respect or consideration shown on either or both parts in this scenario?

Thanks in advance.

I see which bit you got wrong there.

Yorky · 07-06-2014 12:50AM

Neither friend A or B - just aware of the event. I don't see how B was wrong as whatever they said was a response to A's behaviour..?

Ruu · 07-06-2014 12:51AM

Getting up and leaving was a major throwing toys from pram exercise.

FullblownRose · 07-06-2014 12:52AM

That has happened to me. I have a friend who doesn't seem to get the concept of making introductions or including me in a conversation. They're a nice, decent person, but very gregarious and they could stand and talk to someone for eternity. I wander off and let them catch up with me when they're ready.

Friend A who left B waiting was rude. B sounded upset, and I dont blame them. It wouldve been better to laugh it off, but maybe they were trying to make a point in a funny way and A over reacted.

gammygils · 07-06-2014 12:54AM

I presume all 3 were female

Enough said

fussyonion · 07-06-2014 12:55AM

Wots an ackwaytuns?
Anyway hope ur ok hun xx

Renegade Mechanic · 07-06-2014 12:57AM

PizzamanIRL wrote: »

Were any of the people involved good looking?

Rude people are always good looking.

Yorky · 07-06-2014 12:59AM

Apparently this is regular behaviour on A's part but just not to the same extent as this episode

Pawn · 07-06-2014 12:59AM

Yorky wrote: »

Please bear

16?

.. approved.

FullblownRose · 07-06-2014 12:59AM

Actually I know if I used the reply B used to A my friend would split their sides laughing

Tigger · 07-06-2014 01:04AM

so can op confirm that all three were female

a is ignorant btw

whirlpool · 07-06-2014 01:07AM

Yorky wrote: »

Please bear with while I relay a recent situation:

Two friends arrange to meet for 40 minutes until one of their children arrives by bus.

They go in to a local hotel and at the entrance one of them bumps in to an old acquaintance and proceeds to have a 25 minute conversation with them.

The other doesn't know the acquaintance so they find a seat nearby to sit and wait on their own.

The friend eventually rejoins the other and casually says "howya" to them, doesn't apologise and proceeds to check their phone.

The 'waiting friend' quietly says - tongue in cheek - that they have died in the meantime and only their skeleton remains. They then say " To be frank, I think that was rude - I would've got your acquaintances phone number and arranged to meet them another time".

The other replies coldly " It won't happen again" repeatedly and will not elaborate when asked what they mean, also saying "I don't give a damn if it's an equivocal statement, it won't happen again". Silence descends for a couple of minutes until the "waiting friend" announces they are going to leave, stands up , shakes hands with their friend and leaves.

Would appreciate any opinions on this.. Was there a lack of manners,respect or consideration shown on either or both parts in this scenario?

Thanks in advance.

I assume this is only one side of the story, but if it is in fact an accurate account of what happened, then the friend who left the other friend waiting while they had a 25 minute chat is a bit of a d_ck.

pragmatic1 · 07-06-2014 01:09AM

The "friend" who left the other friend waiting was being a rude. Could be due to ignorance in social situations or disrespect. Either way, if it was me left waiting, my estimation of the other person would go down a notch or two.

Tail Docker · 07-06-2014 01:11AM

Renegade Mechanic wrote: »

Rude people are always good looking.

Very true.

whirlpool · 07-06-2014 01:12AM

dee_mc wrote: »

The one that talked to her 'acquaintance' was rude; the 'waiting friend' was snarky and rude.
This is only a big issue if you make it into one...

The "waiting friend" was rude to be honest about how they felt? I think the "waiting friend" was very much within their rights to say it was "rude" to be left waiting for 25 minutes like that. And I don't think it's only a big issue "only if the OP makes it into one".... it's already a big issue because there's clearly a problem between the two, not because the OP made it into one.

Alf. A. Male wrote: »

The two of them are as rude as each other and the "it won't happen again" seems to mean the person saying it won't bother arranging to meet the passive-aggressive one again.

The irony of your post. And the "passive-aggressive" one wasn't being passive-aggressive, they said exactly what was on their mind, which makes them the complete opposite of passive-aggressive.

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Say wut?
Friend A talks to someone. Friend B is mad. Friend B snaps at A for speaking to X. And friend A is the rude one?

Did I miss anything

Yes. Friend A left friend B alone for 25 minutes after arranging to meet them. And Friend B didn't "snap" at friend A. You made that bit up.

Are you three having a laugh? Wind-up merchants.

FullblownRose · 07-06-2014 01:14AM

Tail Docker wrote: »

Very true.

Are they good-looking because they're rude?

07-06-2014 01:19AM

If I were friend B I would have headed to the hotel bar and after a few drinks started a singsong with my new found drunk friends.

I'd probably still be there! *hiccup*

Karl Stein · 07-06-2014 01:20AM

Yorky wrote: »

They go in to a local hotel and at the entrance one of them bumps in to an old acquaintance and proceeds to have a 25 minute conversation with them.

I wouldn't have known it was a 25 minute conversation because I'd have been gone after about 15 minutes and would not have engaged with my 'friend' unless it was preceded with an apology.

BT543765Hg · 07-06-2014 01:27AM

Which 'friend' was waiting for their kid?

What would the other friend have been doing in the mean-time, if not waiting on someone elses kid?

Manners: opinions sought

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