Why do people still have expensive weddings?

LizzieJones · 06-06-2014 12:16PM

If I ever get married again, I'd much rather spend any money towards a decent house then waste it on one ceremony.

czechlin · 06-06-2014 12:31PM

I'm not crazy about weddings in general. I'm not against them as used to be because I've reached that awkward age when a lot of people are getting married and I just have to get on with it. I was at two weddings last year and while they both were great fun and I enjoyed the whole weekends to full I wouldn't want a wedding like that myself. I don't know how much have the couples spent but overall spending 30 or even 20 or 10 grand is mad IMHO.

I do find the whole thing quite stressful as well and if I + the other person in question (if someone as such will be found) ever decide to get married I'd be up for something more private and would rather spend money on the honeymoon and other things.

06-06-2014 12:43PM

Mad Money spent alright. Id rather leave it for my kids when I kick the bucket.

As a scandalous Divorcee, I doubt Ill marry again anyway, why punish myself twice ?

bear1 · 06-06-2014 01:05PM

We paid I think max 5k on our wedding.
Kept it as simple as possible. Quaint restaurant with about 30 of our closest family and friends.
Had a delicious meal and many bottles of wine.
People enjoyed themselves and we had fun which is all that mattered.
After calculating everything we saved approx 15k which we then used to put a deposit on a house, buy a car for the wife and have a great honeymoon in Barbados.
The thought of all that money being spent in one night would give me nightmares.
Can't understand the need for these types of weddings.

darkdubh · 06-06-2014 01:07PM

Schnitzel Muncher wrote: »

Why do people still purchase expensive cars?

......because they can afford to.

After borrowing money that they can't pay back.

kopfan77 · 06-06-2014 01:12PM

lightspeed wrote: »

I dont get it at all. My brothers Wedding is gonna cost over €30000. Him and the bride to be have both been saving for over 2 years. I just cant understand why people still pay this kind of money for a wedding.

I know others in work who say they are going to struggle to get the money together for a deposit on a house and yet spare no expense when it comes to the wedding day?

What i find odd is that plenty people from middle class tax bracket to those on the higher end will complain when taxes are increased but will spend this kind of money on one ****ing day?

What is wrong with just getting a neighbour to dress up as a priest, have it in the back garden and let all the guests tuck into a swiss roll?

Have to agree 100%. Myself and herself got married in February just gone. We decided from the get go after we got engaged that we were gonna do things our way. So we decided to tell no one except 2 of my mates and 2 of her mates. Straight away not having to deal with any of the crap about who to invite and who not to invite and who would have their nose put out of joint etc. In the end we got married in the registry office in Dublin which is a really nice set up, stayed in the Shelbourne for a couple of nights, ate in Thorntons and Marco Pierre Whites and on the beer. Still had a bentley car, photographer, flowers, suit hire, wedding dress and a class honeymoon and probably cost less than 1/4 of your "traditional wedding". Told all the family and friends as we were flying out on honeymoon and had a session when we came back. Couldnt have gone any better!

homemadecider · 06-06-2014 01:14PM

My eldest sister got married a couple of years ago and it must have cost her a ****load. Hundreds of guests, fancy hotel, ice-cream cart, photobooth, designer dress, huge cake... the list goes on. It must have been at least 30k if not more.

I got engaged late last year and we've decided to elope. We used a great travel agent to book everything and are getting married on a beach in the Caribbean later this year. We're not inviting anyone, just the two of us and it will be very low-key and relaxed. The legal fee is about €180 for the wedding and we're staying on for 3 week honeymoon. The bill for this comes in significantly lower than a typical Irish wedding.

We're taking our immediate family (19 people including us) out for a nice dinner when we get back, then throwing a party in a pub function room for our friends afterwards. We've pretty much no planning or organising to do and we're so happy to avoid all the stress of a 'typical' wedding.

darkdubh · 06-06-2014 01:15PM

We've decided that we're doing a Registery office job and only parents siblings and close friends,no cousins aunts uncles or woman from up the road.I hate these weddings where theres 300 people and you know harldly anyone.Its like being at a concert.

ewinslet · 06-06-2014 01:23PM

Chet T16 wrote: »

Our wedding cost about 4.5k including the honeymoon. The joys of bringing 2 guests!

Finally, someone talking some sense in this thread.

Red21 · 06-06-2014 01:48PM

GaryCocs wrote: »

If you don't want to go to the wedding then don't go.
.

This sounds free and strong and independant and an ideal way for a person to be, but in reality it's a ridiculas attitude to have when it comes to weddings.

If friends of mine are going away for some event or other, say a football game, it's easy enough to get out of it if I don't wanna go, mainly because i'm not offending any one person and nobody has made any really big effort to organise the event.
Weddings are a differant matter, a couple whom i've been friends with for a long time who I really like and respect are getting married in August, this wedding is a major part of their lives right now. If I don't make the effort to go, I risk falling out with them, weather it's family or friends this is the general kinda sceniaro to comes up with weddings putting presure on people.

Now don't get me wrong, once i've commited to going i'll go and try have a good time, I may even succeed but thats not the point. I'm talking about before the invites are sent out. You can be sure many work mates, freinds, extended family will be hoping you opt for going abroad or having a very small wedding. This is the very way it is, I see it all the time .

hoodwinked · 06-06-2014 01:50PM

ewinslet wrote: »

Finally, someone talking some sense in this thread.

not really, if it's the money side you are looking at, i think we spent roughly 5k on ours, so 4.5k on four people to me is more a waste of the money when you could have had 50 close family and friends share it with you for the same price.

i say roughly because we bought a lot of things in the lead up to so were never budgeted for out of the main 5k fund,

we had the white dress (actually i had 2, one for the day one for the evening), suits (his bought, the rest rented), church, rings, cars, photos, hotel, flowers, sweet table, cake (gifted by a cousin), hotel, party, dj (gifted by a friend), wedding,

we personalised each bit, and it took a lot of work because we couldn't just "buy things" but now both my husband and i agree, stress aside, the build up was as much fun as the actual day, because we worked together on making the mass booklets,buying the sweets and collecting various glass jars we loved, he actually did the bouquets of flowers with the ribbons (we had fake flowers so we could do them in the weeks leading up to it, with real flowers we picked from my grandmothers garden the day before added in)

it was our dream wedding, and it didn't cost 30k, instead the money saved is sitting as a deposit for a house,

you can do the big day for almost nothing, and have everything you want the way you want, you just have to work harder, 4.5k on something small seems like a waste of money to me,

Medusa22 · 06-06-2014 03:03PM

I'm having a civil ceremony in a month, it will cost us less than 5,000. I even think the 5,000 is a bit much!

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 06-06-2014 03:26PM

I have a client in work who is have a "glamping" wedding. So basically, it's camping but supposed to be fancy? Her guests are staying in glorified tents.

bear1 · 06-06-2014 03:28PM

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I have a client in work who is have a "glamping" wedding. So basically, it's camping but supposed to be fancy? Her guests are staying in glorified tents.

Call them a tosser from me ok?
A fecking tent wedding? Loosen the purse strings just a small bit like.

darkdubh · 06-06-2014 03:39PM

bear1 wrote: »

Call them a tosser from me ok?
A fecking tent wedding? Loosen the purse strings just a small bit like.

That dosen't bother me but I want to shoot anyone who uses that horrible expression "glamping".

Duggy747 · 06-06-2014 03:45PM

Going to Las Vegas next week.

Elvis has quite the competitive wedding prices :pac:

I am pie · 06-06-2014 03:46PM

See how glamp the who affair is if it starts p1ssing down from the heavens.

Some of those designer wellies might even see a splash of mud if we're lucky.

eisenberg1 · 06-06-2014 05:17PM

I haven't read the whole thread, so maybe this was covered. Would I be wrong to assume ( in some cases) there are quite a number of guests invited, and the wedding present is cash, which in most cases well exceeds the cost of the meal etc provided on the day....so the married couple actually will walk away some money? Which goes a long way towards covering the other costs involved?

bear1 · 06-06-2014 06:05PM

eisenberg1 wrote: »

I haven't read the whole thread, so maybe this was covered. Would I be wrong to assume ( in some cases) there are quite a number of guests invited, and the wedding present is cash, which in most cases well exceeds the cost of the meal etc provided on the day....so the married couple actually will walk away some money? Which goes a long way towards covering the other costs involved?

As bad as it may sound but we made a bit of money from the wedding without even breaking the bank.
We were sensible about the whole thing.
I'd much rather have a basic wedding where enough of my cash stays with me than to blow 30k on a 6/7 hours event and the next morning wake up with a gaping hole in my account.

desultory · 06-06-2014 06:18PM

Seen a girl I know get married, had the wedding itself in a registry office and the afters in a cafe. No joke. Their honeymoon was a day out in Dublin.

suicide_circus · 06-06-2014 07:14PM

desultory wrote: »

Seen a girl I know get married, had the wedding itself in a registry office and the afters in a cafe. No joke. Their honeymoon was a day out in Dublin.

Fair play to her.
Love these people having their "fairytale" weddings when they've already lived together seven years and then put themselves into debt for what essentially amounts to a party.

homerjay2005 · 06-06-2014 07:25PM

eisenberg1 wrote: »

I haven't read the whole thread, so maybe this was covered. Would I be wrong to assume ( in some cases) there are quite a number of guests invited, and the wedding present is cash, which in most cases well exceeds the cost of the meal etc provided on the day....so the married couple actually will walk away some money? Which goes a long way towards covering the other costs involved?

yes, its very possible that some couples will end up at the very least having the cost of their wedding covered by the presents.

some hotels will charge €100 per head, others will charge much less yet people will still give the same value of presents.

The One Doctor · 06-06-2014 07:32PM

I've calculated that our wedding (already discussed herself but I won't be proposing until well after the baby is born) will cost around €5000 total. No church, no cameraman, no videos, no wedding dress, no suit rental... the list goes on. For honeymoon I think we'll cruise down the Shannon for a week or two. Sorted.

candy-gal1 · 06-06-2014 07:40PM

Tbh its up to the couple themselves what they want, put together with they can afford! I would have thought most people getting married dont want to be put in debt afterwards, or maybe thats just me?!
I mean, isnt one of the points in general daily like not to end up in debt unless you something great to show for it and will last, a house/mortgage etc?! And even then imho its a big step to get into

If I do ever get married, never thought Id be saying that tbh :P - before the bf now I was always the one to say "wedding, marriaige, kids??!! fcuk off" :rolleyes: But whatever himself has done to my heart, thats changed anyway - not saying thats what I want now or soon etc but I definitly wouldnt say no

Keeping with the OP, What happened to couples getting pretty naturistic outdoor weddings or hiring somewhere that means something to them to get married in but would prob cost less than church etc, Maybe its just me but I kinda think church weddings can be very impersonal, samey and a tad rushed!

HeyArnold320 · 06-06-2014 07:46PM

I don't understand everyone saying their weddings are costing 5k for 2 guests or a wedding without a church/venue etc etc. My wedding cost 6.5k for a venue and 100 guests. Everything that was bought was as cheap as we could manage but we still got a great deal for our money..
I definitely agree though that getting into debt over a wedding is mad. Best option is to save for as long as it takes to afford the wedding you want

sashafierce · 06-06-2014 08:22PM

This post has been deleted.

Augmerson · 06-06-2014 08:37PM

I'd like to get married someday and as much as possible make a great day of it, something with family and friends, but I don't think I could justify spending a couple of grand. I'd want to make my partner as happy on the day as possible but economic reality sets the tone, just couldn't afford it.

My wedding day: married in a country church on a summer's day then off to the park for buckfast and ham sandwiches.

Pwindedd · 06-06-2014 09:01PM

I can only speak from my own experience, but I don't regret a single penny spent on my own wedding. It was a superb day. We celebrated our union with our family and close frinds. About 100 people. We spent about 15k. My mum made the dresses and the cake. The money saved there went on a free bar. It was important to us that everyone has a great time. Some of our family are struggling financially and we wanted everyone to not worry on that front. Gifts totally optional. No dress code, no long drawn out ceremony(20 mins tops) Carvery instead of the usual chicken or salmon. And a bloody good knees up to boot. It's not for everyone and no one should get into debt over their nuptials. Don't conform - do your own thing and most importantly have a ball. You (hopefully) love each other - shout it from the rooftops!

TomoBhoy · 06-06-2014 09:03PM

Because they want it to be flasher then their friends/family/neighbours !

.jacksparrow. · 06-06-2014 09:10PM

What is it with this snobbery of people lookin down their noses at people who want to have a big wedding.

It's their choice and life to do what they want.

Dare I say some begrudgey...

Why do people still have expensive weddings?

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