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What men never think of when asking a woman out.

13

Comments

  • #62
    shopaholic01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,916 ✭✭✭shopaholic01


    bnt wrote: »
    This ties in to the #YesAllWomen meme that was all over Twitter last week. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do differently now. There's all sorts of vague platitudes flying around, about "having conversations" (with who?) and so on. None of it is constructive in any sense. It's getting to the point now that I don't speak to a woman unless she speaks to me first, since being in any way "forward" might upset her, and that would upset me. I do not need to be made to feel bad for no good reason.
    We're not that easily upset. It's a sad world if people are now reluctant to be friendly for fear of upsetting others or appearing forward. If a woman becomes upset because you chat to her, she has issues, not you.


    Don't act weird in a mistaken attempt to appear normal. :)


  • #63
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,386 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Jesus.

    Many worry about Artificial Intelligence. I worry far more about Organic Idiocy.



  • #64
    Lou.m
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,532 ✭✭✭Lou.m


    shopaholic01 wrote: »
    We're not that easily upset. It's a sad world if people are now reluctant to be friendly for fear of upsetting others or appearing forward. If a woman becomes upset because you chat to her, she has issues, not you.


    Don't act weird in a mistaken attempt to appear normal. :)

    AH yis'll never figure us wimmins out


    I am not being funny I genuinely sympathize :o


  • #65
    Lou.m
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,532 ✭✭✭Lou.m


    And the yesallwimmins stuff is getting a bit much....


    Ah mens ..I love yis really.... not that ya be needin my lovin...sure yis are great on yer own.


  • #66
    shopaholic01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,916 ✭✭✭shopaholic01


    Lou.m wrote: »
    AH yis'll never figure us wimmins out


    I am not being funny I genuinely sympathize :o
    You qouted me, I'm a woman. To be blunt, you are the one with the issue.


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  • #67
    Lou.m
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,532 ✭✭✭Lou.m


    Feel bad now for posting this thread.


    Free hug for every guy.


  • #68
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,386 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    porsche959 wrote: »
    Statistically, women are more likely to be subjects of violence by men than men by women, right?

    The comedian is engaging in comedic hyperbole to make this point.

    It's a pity this has to be explained, but, apparently, it does.
    Not quite. In relationships it's not far off an equal risk and that's just going by reported stats. Given the lack of acknowledgement and support for abused men in relationships that reported stat is likely higher, but who knows, right? Overall women are much more likely to assaulted, physically and sexually by men they already know/have a relationship with. Stranger danger is at the lower end of risk. Statistically speaking a random guy asking a random woman out is far less a threat to her safety than a guy she knows already with fcukwittery on what passes for his mind. However stranger danger as far as men on men violence is much higher. So yea, even though subjective experience passes more and more as fact, I'd like an objective explanation please, beyond the all the "we're right on" ballsology.

    Many worry about Artificial Intelligence. I worry far more about Organic Idiocy.



  • #69
    strobe
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,872 ✭✭✭strobe


    Lou.m wrote: »
    How do you know how most women see the world?

    I spoke to one once at a bus stop...


  • #70
    porsche959
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,499 ✭✭✭porsche959


    I am a bloke (heterosexual) and I'm absolutely dumbfounded at some of the attitudes on display in this thread. Granted, it's After Hours, but even still.

    I do not know the thread starter personally, but wouldn't this be a helpful hint to play nice....
    ...especially if a girl has been through some bad stuff...


  • #71
    porsche959
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,499 ✭✭✭porsche959


    Wibbs wrote: »
    Not quite. In relationships it's not far off an equal risk and that's just going by reported stats.

    I would like to see reported stat here?
    Wibbs wrote: »
    Given the lack of acknowledgement and support for abused men in relationships that reported stat is likely higher, but who knows, right?

    I think you're right in saying acknowledgement of abused men in relationships needs improvement, due to a number of factors. I've always assumed if woman is abuser is more likely psychological/emotional abuse - but, again, if you have stats that show otherwise I'd like to see them.


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  • #72
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,386 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    porsche959 wrote: »
    I am a bloke (heterosexual)
    OK.
    and I'm absolutely dumbfounded at some of the attitudes on display in this thread. Granted, it's After Hours, but even still.
    Well it does boil down to whether you've a salient argument, or not. The "it's after hours" is hardly a cogent debating tool.
    I do not know the thread starter personally, but wouldn't this be a helpful hint to play nice....
    Can't really see the relevance TBH. Are you automatically assuming a woman you approach to chat may have had "some bad stuff" in her past? Is this not a prejudice on your part, a lazy assumption, a generalisation about women? Sorry you're gonna have to explain that to me as I'm a bit slow at the best of times.

    Many worry about Artificial Intelligence. I worry far more about Organic Idiocy.



  • #73
    Shakespeare's Sister
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,412 ✭✭✭Shakespeare's Sister


    porsche959 wrote: »
    I am a bloke (heterosexual) and I'm absolutely dumbfounded at some of the attitudes on display in this thread. Granted, it's After Hours, but even still.

    I do not know the thread starter personally, but wouldn't this be a helpful hint to play nice....
    I'm a woman and have some feminist views, but how is a guy to know a woman has been through bad stuff?
    Obviously if a guy is being obnoxious to a woman in a bar (as was the case with a guy the other night who kept blocking my path and yelling in my face, so I just kept on soldiering ahead, and eventually he gave up) he's at fault, but if it's a guy just talking to a woman... how is it fair on guys to say "We" can find that intimidating?
    The sketch was joking but the OP is taking it literally.


  • #74
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,386 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    porsche959 wrote: »
    I would like to see reported stat here?



    I think you're right in saying acknowledgement of abused men in relationships needs improvement, due to a number of factors. I've always assumed if woman is abuser is more likely psychological/emotional abuse - but, again, if you have stats that show otherwise I'd like to see them.
    That's an incredibly naive, nay ironically sexist to both men and women worldview you have goin on there. Stats? OK, or here or maybe this might help? Or this? Or this?

    If I were you I'd break out of your assumptions PDQ. Just a thought. Makes things more objective and based in reality.

    Many worry about Artificial Intelligence. I worry far more about Organic Idiocy.



  • #75
    porsche959
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,499 ✭✭✭porsche959


    Wibbs wrote: »
    OK. Well it does boil down to whether you've a salient argument, or not. The "it's after hours" is hardly a cogent debating tool.

    Can't really see the relevance TBH. Are you automatically assuming a woman you approach to chat may have had "some bad stuff" in her past? Is this not a prejudice on your part, a lazy assumption, a generalisation about women? Sorry you're gonna have to explain that to me as I'm a bit slow at the best of times.

    Before I continue with this conversation, I would like to see some links to those stats you were claiming show men are as likely to be victims of abuse as women in relationships.


  • #76
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,386 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Eh I've just posted the links in my last post. Hint, click on the blue parts. The "ok", "here", and the various "this'". I know a received worldview can be a hard thing to shift, but seriously? This is getting embarrassing.

    Many worry about Artificial Intelligence. I worry far more about Organic Idiocy.



  • #77
    Lou.m
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,532 ✭✭✭Lou.m


    shopaholic01 wrote: »
    You qouted me, I'm a woman. To be blunt, you are the one with the issue.

    I just realized. I actually meant to quote the person you had quoted.
    :o
    To be blunt, you are the one with the issue.

    :o
    Yes and no....

    To say that is I have been hit by a man and I have the issue is incorrect. To say that I have been hit by a man and it has changed my view of the word both men and women and I have the issue is correct.

    BUT ...the issue is real.

    That is why trauma is so isolating. Unless people have real lived experience to draw from it might not make sense.

    I know I am the one with the issue. But what gave me the issue to put it bluntly was blunt trauma ...to put it mildly. I didn't make this up in my head.

    For the first couple of weeks after a trauma a person is in total shock. To say it was their issue to react this way is correct but incorrect. If you have a mountain collapse on you it might be illogical to think all mountains are going to collapse on you. But it is a reasonable understandable reaction to have.


    People who have experienced trauma do have the isolating experience of living in a different world to other people for a while. Ask soldiers who have returned home. It takes time.


    And no I don't take the clip serious serious. And it doesn't have any bearing to my experience now :) . This was about 3 yrs ago.

    I don't want to claim a comedy clip speaks to all women. Apologies. WIsh I had never posted it now.


  • #78
    porsche959
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,499 ✭✭✭porsche959


    Wibbs wrote: »
    That's an incredibly naive, nay ironically sexist to both men and women worldview you have goin on there. Stats? OK, or here or maybe this might help? Or this? Or this?

    Thanks for citing links.


  • #79
    Czarcasm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    Lou.m wrote: »
    AH yis'll never figure us wimmins


    I think Lou you can only speak for yourself there, as you would be one of the first posters to remind other posters that women do not think with a hive mind.

    I've never made any attempt to figure women out as I prefer to think of people as individuals with their own thoughts and views, rather than doing their thinking for them like what you're suggesting.

    I've never given any consideration to what goes on in a woman's mind when I approach her, because I'm not a bloody mind reader, and I find campaigns like yesallwomen are demeaning to women as they are thoughts based solely on that individuals perceptions, and shouldn't be ascribed to women as a whole, many of whom I've talked to who have found the yesallwomen campaign incredibly patronizing, as if they are being told how they should think, just like what you're trying to do with your OP.

    Last time I checked, women weren't listed on the protected species list, and I think you do women a disservice by perpetuating a stereotype that they are all fragile creatures and men need to be conscious of the fact that they might be intimidating.

    If that were the case, people would never approach each other for fear they might intimidate each other. I'd rather not live in a world where because I have a pair of balls I'm somehow perceived as a threat to all women.

    I don't know too many women either who would like to live in a world where men didn't approach them, quite the opposite in fact, they often lament the fact that when they approach men, those men perceive them as intimidating.


  • #80
    pablo128
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,210 ✭✭✭pablo128


    Lou.m wrote: »
    AH yis'll never figure us wimmins out


    Never try to understand a woman. Women understand other women, and they fcuking hate each other!


  • #81
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,386 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Lou.m wrote: »
    To say that is I have been hit by a man and I have the issue is incorrect. To say that I have been hit by a man and it has changed my view of the word both men and women and I have the issue is correct.

    BUT ...the issue is real.
    For you. The rest is semantics.
    That is why trauma is so isolating. Unless people have real lived experience to draw from it might not make sense.
    Agreed, but again it's subjective, it cannot be applied to the whole. Too often it is.
    For the first couple of weeks after a trauma a person is in total shock. To say it was their issue to react this way is correct but incorrect. If you have a mountain collapse on you it might be illogical to think all mountains are going to collapse on you. But it is a reasonable understandable reaction to have.
    Yes it is, initially. But and it's a big but, it is not healthy for someone to apply the outlier as a rule going forward, however comforting that can be. And it can be comforting and a way to process a trauma and I do get that. I've been there. It's not the long term solution though.
    And no I don't take the clip serious serious. And it doesn't have any bearing to my experience now :) . This was about 3 yrs ago.
    Yet here we are or appear to be, judging by your OP?

    Many worry about Artificial Intelligence. I worry far more about Organic Idiocy.



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  • #82
    kingtubby
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 173 ✭✭kingtubby


    FrStone wrote: »
    That's actually hilarious, precious got what she deserved.

    All scripted for his TV show lads nothing to see here


  • #83
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 25,909 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I can think of very few of my male friends who haven't been jumped and gotten a hiding at some stage or another. They still manage to get over their fear and go for pints and hang out with male friends at times.


  • #84
    Sound of Silence
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,192 ✭✭✭Sound of Silence


    You can't live in fear all your life, OP.

    It's no way to live.


  • #85
    Karl Stein
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,687 ✭✭✭Karl Stein


    I'm afraid of OP. :(


  • #86
    Lou.m
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,532 ✭✭✭Lou.m


    Karl Stein wrote: »
    I'm afraid of OP. :(

    :(

    I'm sorry.

    Peace.


  • #87
    WilyCoyote
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,059 ✭✭✭WilyCoyote


    The Backwards Man wrote: »
    I like jam.

    OK. Here goes, you crazy beast:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSs1HgM0Wos


  • #88
    Lou.m
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,532 ✭✭✭Lou.m


    I think to be honest I am used to this attitude.

    You tell people you were abused ...get over it...is the response

    I am not going to take it personally.

    I'm used to it. It's why I can be arsed telling people in real life. They don't get it.


    Claiming men are as much victims of rape or violence is like saying women are as likely to be accused of false rape claims.

    And to men or women who are offended by anything I have said in this thread. Fair enough. To be honest some of your responses seem as perceptive as a rock. But I love ya you dense rocks.


    It's ah...it's a bloody comedy clip ...I did not write the sketch...the guy wrote it to get laughs...

    The guy gives **** about the wimmins too.


  • #89
    Tasden
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,166 ✭✭✭Tasden


    Lou.m wrote: »
    I think to be honest I am used to this attitude.

    You tell people you were abused ...get over it...is the response

    I am not going to take it personally.

    I'm used to it. It's why I can be arsed telling people in real life. They don't get it.

    Nobody is telling you that you should get over it. But one person abused you. Not all men. People are worried that you seem to have a concern about all men when it was one person that hurt you, not "men".


  • #90
    Lou.m
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,532 ✭✭✭Lou.m


    pablo128 wrote: »
    Never try to understand a woman. Women understand other women, and they fcuking hate each other!

    lol


    nah I love love wimmins...and sure i even love he mens...

    Either ya love all humans or kill all humans...


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  • #91
    Lou.m
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,532 ✭✭✭Lou.m


    Kill all humans.


This discussion has been closed.
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