Brilliantly stupid celebrity quotes

the culture of deference · 30-05-2014 04:03PM #1

from today's independent

(Some cannot be true)

Mariah Carey

“When I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean, I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”

Britney Spears
"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa."

Paris Hilton
“What’s a soup kitchen?”

Arnold Schwarzenegger

“I think that gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman.”

Brooke Hogan 2008:

“You know what? I am actually not that much into voting. I think it’s kinda crazy that a woman is running, because I think that women deal with a lot of emotions and menopause and PMS and stuff. Like, I’m so moody all the time, I know I couldn’t be able to run a country, ‘cause I’d be crying one day and yelling at people the next day, ya know?”

Brooke Shields

“I’m so naive about finances. Once when my mother mentioned an amount and I realized I didn’t understand, she had to explain: ‘That’s like three Mercedes'.’ Then I understood.”

Spencer Pratt
"We made and spent at least $10 million. The thing is, we heard that the planet was going to end in 2012. We thought, 'We have got to spend this money before the asteroid hits.'"

Gwyneth Paltrow

"I'd rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a can.”

Justin Bieber

"Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a belieber."

after a visit to Anne Frank’s House

Kanye West

“I realize that my place and position in history is that I will go down as the voice of this generation, of this decade. I will be the loudest voice.”

http://www.independent.ie/woman/celeb-news/10-most-obnoxious-celebrity-quotes-30317044.html

Lucifer MorningStar · 30-05-2014 04:09PM

Paris Hilton talking to the press about Wal-Mart – “Do they like make walls there?

I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don’t know into what religion yet.” – David Beckham

I’m not sure about the parties. But whatever they have in Korea, that’s bad.” – Justin Bieber on politics

Vito Corleone · 30-05-2014 04:10PM

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

George Bush

Maphisto · 30-05-2014 04:11PM

I remember the Justin Bieber one it made shudder then and still does a bit

Heisenberg1 · 30-05-2014 04:12PM

George Bush making the following statement: "There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.

OneEightSeven · 30-05-2014 04:13PM

"George Bush doesn't care about black people."

- Kanye West

Alf. A. Male · 30-05-2014 04:15PM

the culture of deference wrote: »

Brooke Shields

“I’m so naive about finances. Once when my mother mentioned an amount and I realized I didn’t understand, she had to explain: ‘That’s like three Mercedes'.’ Then I understood.”

Gwyneth Paltrow

"I'd rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a can.”

I think Brooke Shields may have said that tongue in cheek and I agree with Gwynth, so I like these ones

IK09 · 30-05-2014 04:17PM

"When the seagulls follow the trawler, it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea".

-Eric Cantona

This was actually a very clever quote that got a lot of publicity and portrayed Monsieur Cantona as an idiot. He meant that he wasnt going to add fuel to the fire by talking about an issue (Kicking a fan) by further digging himself into a hole.

So in his mind, he was the trawler, the media were the seagulls and the sardines were whatever he was going to say that the media could use.

keano_afc · 30-05-2014 04:19PM

Donna Air to the Corrs:

"So where did you guys meet?"

Duckworth_Luas · 30-05-2014 04:20PM

"Ireland is a complete f*cking $hithole if you ask me."

Kim Kardashian

Banjo String · 30-05-2014 04:21PM

"Everyone drinks..........Well, unless they don't. ..."

Shane MacGowan.

TwoShedsJackson · 30-05-2014 04:29PM

Mariah Carey one definitely isn't real: http://www.snopes.com/quotes/carey.asp

the culture of deference · 30-05-2014 04:31PM

Heisenberg1 wrote: »

George Bush making the following statement: "There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled aga

In all fairness George could have his own thread for stupidity

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKgPY1adc0A

Oblong Gator · 30-05-2014 04:34PM

Heisenberg1 wrote: »

George Bush making the following statement: "There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again

:cool:

YEAAAAAAAAAAH!

roro1990 · 30-05-2014 04:48PM

A quick google search of stupid footballers quotes brings up some crackers:

"Bolton have won just three of their last two games".
Ian Abrahams

Lawrie McMenemy - "When you are 4-0 up you should never lose 7-1."

Barry Venison - "I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock."

Ron Atkinson - "Well, Clive, it's all about the two M's - movement and positioning"

DEFTLEFTHAND · 30-05-2014 04:49PM

A couple from Joe Biden.

"You can not go to a 7-11 or Dunkin Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent."

"I mean you got the first mainstream African American who is articulate bright and clean and a nice looking guy, I mean that's a storybook man" (speaking about Obama)

fearrua · 30-05-2014 04:51PM

Wow, just looked up a few.

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." - Brooke Shields

"So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?" - Christina Aguilera

“I guess I’m gonna fade into Bolivian.” – Mike Tyson

If these are real, they're amazing.

Philo Beddoe · 30-05-2014 04:55PM

IK09 wrote: »

"When the seagulls follow the trawler, it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea".

-Eric Cantona

This was actually a very clever quote that got a lot of publicity and portrayed Monsieur Cantona as an idiot. He meant that he wasnt going to add fuel to the fire by talking about an issue (Kicking a fan) by further digging himself into a hole.

So in his mind, he was the trawler, the media were the seagulls and the sardines were whatever he was going to say that the media could use.

We know what he meant. It was the buffoonish attempt at sounding profound that led to him being portrayed as an idiot.

eisenberg1 · 30-05-2014 04:57PM

fearrua wrote: »

Wow, just looked up a few.

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." - Brooke Shields

"So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?" - Christina Aguilera

“I guess I’m gonna fade into Bolivian.” – Mike Tyson

If these are real, they're amazing.

Whatever about the first two....but I don't think I would rush to correct Mike....

pookiesboo · 30-05-2014 05:13PM

" I make good decisions in bicycle shops"

Kanye West

buck65 · 30-05-2014 05:16PM

Tyson is well read and quite literate actually.

Rothko · 30-05-2014 05:18PM

Philo Beddoe wrote: »

We know what he meant. It was the buffoonish attempt at sounding profound that led to him being portrayed as an idiot.

I think it was said with a good bit of humour, tbh.

Hotale.com · 30-05-2014 05:20PM

pookiesboo wrote: »

" I make good decisions in bicycle shops"

Kanye West

Talking about his wife there is he? :P

rawn · 30-05-2014 05:26PM

OP, Kanye West is gonna be so mad that you didn't write his name in bold.

Lou.m · 30-05-2014 05:31PM

Charlie Sheen.

“I’m not Thomas Jefferson. He was a pussy.”

“If you’re a part of my family, I will love you violently.”

“Winning, anyone? Rhymes with winning. Anyone? Yeah, that would be us. Sorry, man, didn’t make the rules. Oops!”

"We are High Priest vatican assasin warlocks BOOM!"

Bear in mind considering the second one he has been charged with assaulting a girlfriend previously.

Mel Gibson...ah Mel..really takes the cake

Tell me that the message of something, your doing something, trying to f** breast feed with foreign bodies in you. Was that it?

"You're an embarrassment to me, you look like a f---ing pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of n---ers, it will be your fault."

"F**king Jews...the Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world.""Are you a Jew?"

"I am going to come and burn the f--king house down... but you will blow me first." After which he then said " How dare you be such a bitch to me when I am being so ****ing nice"

Threatening his ex-girlfriend on a tape discovered in 2010, during a fight.

"You don’t have any f*ucking friends except me, and you treat me like shi*! So that’s why I’m so f**king angry, because I don’t have any friends!

An audio released July 12 shows Mel Gibson screaming expletives at his ex-girlfriend...for not being his friend.

Poor sexist racist crazy angry Mel ...can't understand why he doesn't have friends he only threatens to kill random people ...

Jessica Simpson

“Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know it’s tuna, but it says ‘Chicken by the Sea.’”

Tara Reid

“I make Jessica Simpson look like a rock scientist.”

Cameron Diaz on science

Cameron Diaz on science“I’ve been noticing gravity since I was very young.”

??

Sylvester Stallone

“The only happy artist is a dead artist, because only then you can’t change. After I die, I’ll probably come back as a paintbrush.” –

Mike Tyson

“I guess I’m gonna fade into Bolivian.”

Ann Coulter.....ah Ann I want to be the more intelligent leftie version of you is that wrong?

"Her children knew she's sleeping with all these men. That just seems to me, it's the definition of 'not a good mother.' Is everyone just saying here that it's okay to ostentatiously have premarital sex in front of your children? [Diana is] an ordinary and pathetic and confessional - I've never had bulimia! I've never had an affair! I've never had a divorce! So I don't think she's better than I am."

After Hallé Berry won and Oscar.

"Berry said her triumph was a victory 'for every nameless, faceless woman of color who now has a chance because this door tonight has been opened.' Yes, at long last, the 'glass ceiling' had been broken. Large-breasted, slightly cocoa women with idealized Caucasian features finally have a chance in Hollywood! They will, however, still be required to display their large breasts for the camera and to discuss their large breasts at some length with reporters." "I like black people too, Julia!"

"My libertarian friends are probably getting a little upset now but I think that's because they never appreciate the benefits of local fascism."

(talking to a disabled Vietnam vet) "People like you caused us to lose that war."

She earns millions as a political pundit writing cracked books full of that stuff.

Barbara Amiel.

Here in Canada, in the Western world, we are inside the walls. Outside the walls are the barbarians.

Sometimes I wish I were the cold-hearted bitch I’m said to be. And in a sense, I am.

My extravagance knows no bounds.

Her extravagance got her husband in jail for fraud!
Those of you who don't know Barbara Amiel ...she is a right wing facist anti woman goldigging bitch.

ballsymchugh · 30-05-2014 05:32PM

it's someone's sig...

"you can't trust everything on the internet" - Abraham Lincoln

batistuta9 · 30-05-2014 05:32PM

IK09 wrote: »

"When the seagulls follow the trawler, it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea".

-Eric Cantona

This was actually a very clever quote that got a lot of publicity and portrayed Monsieur Cantona as an idiot. He meant that he wasnt going to add fuel to the fire by talking about an issue with (Kicking a fan) by further digging himself into a hole.

So in his mind, he was the trawler, the media were the seagulls and the sardines were whatever he was going to say that the media could use.

I though it meant everyone makes mistakes

Lou.m · 30-05-2014 05:34PM

And of course anything Paris Hilton, Jodie Marsh and their various clones say.

c_man · 30-05-2014 05:36PM

Arnold Schwarzenegger

“I think that gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman.”

Seems like a slip of the tongue tbh. Still, eats up an article right?

BigBrownBear · 30-05-2014 05:36PM

Bertie the Bollix - " I don't want to upset the apple tart but....."

dark crystal · 30-05-2014 05:36PM

"If I said what I was really thinking about this f**ked up world, the government would assassinate me like all the other people they've killed."

-Lee Ryan from Blue.

And as part of Blue being interviewed after 9/11:

Lee Ryan: "What about whales? They are ignoring animals that are more important. Animals need saving and that's more important. This New York thing is being blown out of proportion." Simon Webbe: "Shut up Lee". Lee: "Who gives a f**k about New York when elephants are being killed". Duncan James: "Shut up". Lee: "I'm not afraid to say this, it has to be said and that's why I'm the outspoken one from the band".

Brilliantly stupid celebrity quotes

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