Brilliantly stupid celebrity quotes

the culture of deference

from today's independent

(Some cannot be true)

Mariah Carey

“When I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean, I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”

Britney Spears
"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa."

Paris Hilton
“What’s a soup kitchen?”

Arnold Schwarzenegger


“I think that gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman.”


Brooke Hogan 2008:


“You know what? I am actually not that much into voting. I think it’s kinda crazy that a woman is running, because I think that women deal with a lot of emotions and menopause and PMS and stuff. Like, I’m so moody all the time, I know I couldn’t be able to run a country, ‘cause I’d be crying one day and yelling at people the next day, ya know?”


Brooke Shields


“I’m so naive about finances. Once when my mother mentioned an amount and I realized I didn’t understand, she had to explain: ‘That’s like three Mercedes'.’ Then I understood.”


Spencer Pratt
"We made and spent at least $10 million. The thing is, we heard that the planet was going to end in 2012. We thought, 'We have got to spend this money before the asteroid hits.'"

Gwyneth Paltrow


"I'd rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a can.”


Justin Bieber

"Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a belieber."

after a visit to Anne Frank’s House


Kanye West

“I realize that my place and position in history is that I will go down as the voice of this generation, of this decade. I will be the loudest voice.”


http://www.independent.ie/woman/celeb-news/10-most-obnoxious-celebrity-quotes-30317044.html

Lucifer MorningStar

Paris Hilton talking to the press about Wal-Mart – “Do they like make walls there?

I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don’t know into what religion yet.” – David Beckham

I’m not sure about the parties. But whatever they have in Korea, that’s bad.” – Justin Bieber on politics

Vito Corleone

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

George Bush

Maphisto

I remember the Justin Bieber one it made shudder then and still does a bit

Heisenberg1

George Bush making the following statement: "There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.

OneEightSeven

"George Bush doesn't care about black people."

- Kanye West

Alf. A. Male

the culture of deference wrote: »

Brooke Shields


“I’m so naive about finances. Once when my mother mentioned an amount and I realized I didn’t understand, she had to explain: ‘That’s like three Mercedes'.’ Then I understood.”

Gwyneth Paltrow


"I'd rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a can.”

I think Brooke Shields may have said that tongue in cheek and I agree with Gwynth, so I like these ones

IK09

"When the seagulls follow the trawler, it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea".

-Eric Cantona

This was actually a very clever quote that got a lot of publicity and portrayed Monsieur Cantona as an idiot. He meant that he wasnt going to add fuel to the fire by talking about an issue (Kicking a fan) by further digging himself into a hole.

So in his mind, he was the trawler, the media were the seagulls and the sardines were whatever he was going to say that the media could use.

keano_afc

Donna Air to the Corrs:

"So where did you guys meet?"

Duckworth_Luas

"Ireland is a complete f*cking $hithole if you ask me."

Kim Kardashian

Banjo String

"Everyone drinks..........Well, unless they don't. ..."

Shane MacGowan.

TwoShedsJackson

Mariah Carey one definitely isn't real: http://www.snopes.com/quotes/carey.asp

the culture of deference

Heisenberg1 wrote: »

George Bush making the following statement: "There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled aga

In all fairness George could have his own thread for stupidity

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKgPY1adc0A

Oblong Gator

Heisenberg1 wrote: »

George Bush making the following statement: "There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again

:cool:

YEAAAAAAAAAAH!

roro1990

A quick google search of stupid footballers quotes brings up some crackers:

"Bolton have won just three of their last two games".
Ian Abrahams

Lawrie McMenemy - "When you are 4-0 up you should never lose 7-1."

Barry Venison - "I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock."

Ron Atkinson - "Well, Clive, it's all about the two M's - movement and positioning"

DEFTLEFTHAND

A couple from Joe Biden.

"You can not go to a 7-11 or Dunkin Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent."

"I mean you got the first mainstream African American who is articulate bright and clean and a nice looking guy, I mean that's a storybook man" (speaking about Obama)

fearrua

Wow, just looked up a few.

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." - Brooke Shields

"So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?" - Christina Aguilera

“I guess I’m gonna fade into Bolivian.” – Mike Tyson

If these are real, they're amazing.

Philo Beddoe

IK09 wrote: »

"When the seagulls follow the trawler, it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea".

-Eric Cantona

This was actually a very clever quote that got a lot of publicity and portrayed Monsieur Cantona as an idiot. He meant that he wasnt going to add fuel to the fire by talking about an issue (Kicking a fan) by further digging himself into a hole.

So in his mind, he was the trawler, the media were the seagulls and the sardines were whatever he was going to say that the media could use.

We know what he meant. It was the buffoonish attempt at sounding profound that led to him being portrayed as an idiot.

eisenberg1

fearrua wrote: »

Wow, just looked up a few.

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." - Brooke Shields

"So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?" - Christina Aguilera

“I guess I’m gonna fade into Bolivian.” – Mike Tyson

If these are real, they're amazing.

Whatever about the first two....but I don't think I would rush to correct Mike....

pookiesboo

" I make good decisions in bicycle shops"

Kanye West

buck65

Tyson is well read and quite literate actually.

Rothko

Philo Beddoe wrote: »

We know what he meant. It was the buffoonish attempt at sounding profound that led to him being portrayed as an idiot.

I think it was said with a good bit of humour, tbh.

Hotale.com

pookiesboo wrote: »

" I make good decisions in bicycle shops"

Kanye West

Talking about his wife there is he? :P

rawn

OP, Kanye West is gonna be so mad that you didn't write his name in bold.

Lou.m

Charlie Sheen.

“I’m not Thomas Jefferson. He was a pussy.”

“If you’re a part of my family, I will love you violently.”

“Winning, anyone? Rhymes with winning. Anyone? Yeah, that would be us. Sorry, man, didn’t make the rules. Oops!”

"We are High Priest vatican assasin warlocks BOOM!"

Bear in mind considering the second one he has been charged with assaulting a girlfriend previously.


Mel Gibson...ah Mel..really takes the cake

Tell me that the message of something, your doing something, trying to f** breast feed with foreign bodies in you. Was that it?


"You're an embarrassment to me, you look like a f---ing pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of n---ers, it will be your fault."

"F**king Jews...the Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world.""Are you a Jew?"

"I am going to come and burn the f--king house down... but you will blow me first." After which he then said " How dare you be such a bitch to me when I am being so ****ing nice"

Threatening his ex-girlfriend on a tape discovered in 2010, during a fight.

"You don’t have any f*ucking friends except me, and you treat me like shi*! So that’s why I’m so f**king angry, because I don’t have any friends!



An audio released July 12 shows Mel Gibson screaming expletives at his ex-girlfriend...for not being his friend.

Poor sexist racist crazy angry Mel ...can't understand why he doesn't have friends he only threatens to kill random people ...


Jessica Simpson

“Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know it’s tuna, but it says ‘Chicken by the Sea.’”

Tara Reid

“I make Jessica Simpson look like a rock scientist.”

Cameron Diaz on science

Cameron Diaz on science“I’ve been noticing gravity since I was very young.”

??


Sylvester Stallone

“The only happy artist is a dead artist, because only then you can’t change. After I die, I’ll probably come back as a paintbrush.” –

Mike Tyson

“I guess I’m gonna fade into Bolivian.”

Ann Coulter.....ah Ann I want to be the more intelligent leftie version of you is that wrong?

"Her children knew she's sleeping with all these men. That just seems to me, it's the definition of 'not a good mother.' Is everyone just saying here that it's okay to ostentatiously have premarital sex in front of your children? [Diana is] an ordinary and pathetic and confessional - I've never had bulimia! I've never had an affair! I've never had a divorce! So I don't think she's better than I am."


After Hallé Berry won and Oscar.


"Berry said her triumph was a victory 'for every nameless, faceless woman of color who now has a chance because this door tonight has been opened.' Yes, at long last, the 'glass ceiling' had been broken. Large-breasted, slightly cocoa women with idealized Caucasian features finally have a chance in Hollywood! They will, however, still be required to display their large breasts for the camera and to discuss their large breasts at some length with reporters." "I like black people too, Julia!"


"My libertarian friends are probably getting a little upset now but I think that's because they never appreciate the benefits of local fascism."


(talking to a disabled Vietnam vet) "People like you caused us to lose that war."

She earns millions as a political pundit writing cracked books full of that stuff.



Barbara Amiel.

Here in Canada, in the Western world, we are inside the walls. Outside the walls are the barbarians.

Sometimes I wish I were the cold-hearted bitch I’m said to be. And in a sense, I am.

My extravagance knows no bounds.

Her extravagance got her husband in jail for fraud!
Those of you who don't know Barbara Amiel ...she is a right wing facist anti woman goldigging bitch.

ballsymchugh

it's someone's sig...

"you can't trust everything on the internet" - Abraham Lincoln

batistuta9

IK09 wrote: »

"When the seagulls follow the trawler, it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea".

-Eric Cantona

This was actually a very clever quote that got a lot of publicity and portrayed Monsieur Cantona as an idiot. He meant that he wasnt going to add fuel to the fire by talking about an issue with (Kicking a fan) by further digging himself into a hole.

So in his mind, he was the trawler, the media were the seagulls and the sardines were whatever he was going to say that the media could use.

I though it meant everyone makes mistakes

Lou.m

And of course anything Paris Hilton, Jodie Marsh and their various clones say.

c_man

Arnold Schwarzenegger


“I think that gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman.”

Seems like a slip of the tongue tbh. Still, eats up an article right?

BigBrownBear

Bertie the Bollix - " I don't want to upset the apple tart but....."

dark crystal

"If I said what I was really thinking about this f**ked up world, the government would assassinate me like all the other people they've killed."

-Lee Ryan from Blue.


And as part of Blue being interviewed after 9/11:

Lee Ryan: "What about whales? They are ignoring animals that are more important. Animals need saving and that's more important. This New York thing is being blown out of proportion." Simon Webbe: "Shut up Lee". Lee: "Who gives a f**k about New York when elephants are being killed". Duncan James: "Shut up". Lee: "I'm not afraid to say this, it has to be said and that's why I'm the outspoken one from the band".

Grayditch

"I hate when I'm on a flight and I wake up with a water bottle next to me like oh great now I gotta be responsible for this water bottle" - Kanye West


I actually love that one.

rawn

Snooki:

“I’m not good with time. Like, if I ask you the time and you say ‘A quarter to 2’ I wouldn’t know. Why can’t you just say 2:30?”

Wishiwasa Littlebitaller

"The subscription model of buying music is bankrupt" - Steve Jobs

In fairness though, he did some quite remarkable and inspirational things too, so we'll let him off with that one :P

For example:

"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything -- all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure -- these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart. ... Stay hungry. Stay foolish."

Wishiwasa Littlebitaller

Wishiwasa Littlebitaller wrote: »

In fairness though, he did some quite remarkable and inspirational things too, so we'll let him off with that one :P

For example:

I think his stupidest move was eschewing science based medicine to treat his cancer in favour of 'alternative medicine'*




*aka bullsh!t.

ballsymchugh

If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very very low crime rate." -- M. Barry, Mayor of Washington, DC


this guy has loads of stoopid quotes.

http://www.skeptictank.org/barry.htm

Tony EH

rawn wrote: »

Snooki:

“I’m not good with time. Like, if I ask you the time and you say ‘A quarter to 2’ I wouldn’t know. Why can’t you just say 2:30?”

Jaysis wept :eek:

fumblingbee

the culture of deference wrote: »

Kanye West

“I realize that my place and position in history is that I will go down as the voice of this generation, of this decade. I will be the loudest voice.”

I'm sorry but how is this stupid statement? I thought this was common knowledge by now?

Ihatecuddles

She's a west Texas girl just like me.

-George Bush. Possibly my favourite of all time.

Legs.Eleven

mauzo! wrote: »

She's a west Texas girl just like me.

-George Bush. Possibly my favourite of all time.

Hahahah!

feargale

There was no sex in Ireland before television - Oliver J. Flanagan.

RikkFlair

"Marty Morrissey brought sex to the GAA"

Pat Spillane

crockholm

The quote that I Always have a Little smile when I Think about it is from the deceased former owner of Atletico Madrid Jesus Gill.Little background info-Gill was recently out of hospital for a heart related condition and he agreed to do an interveiw with a reporter.During the interveiw,the reporter mentioned a player who drew the ire of Mr. Gill-the reporter then asked Gill to calm down,as it would be bad for his heart, to which Gill responded: "You can shove my fukking heart up your arse"

Legend.

creolebelle

OneEightSeven wrote: »

"George Bush doesn't care about black people."

- Kanye West

No. That was brilliant

Hotale.com

"Should you not be studying!?!!? :mad:"

-shopaholic01

DazMarz

"I'm a firm believer that if the other team scores, you have to score at least twice to win"

Hotale.com

DazMarz wrote: »

"I'm a firm believer that if the other team scores, you have to score at least twice to win"

Didn't Brendan Rodgers actually say that? :P

EoghanIRL

"Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream." - actual George Bush quote.

Lingua Franca

https://twitter.com/officialjaden
Every. Single. Tweet.

Lingua Franca

Oh, ok then. Some examples.

There Is No Nutrients In Our Food Anymore Or In Our Soil OR IN OUR WATER.

(Emphasis his)

You Would Have To Eat 5 Apples Today To Get The Same Nutritional Value As An Apple From 1950. #Fallow

If Everybody In The World Dropped Out Of School We Would Have A Much More Intelligent Society.

If Newborn Babies Could Speak They Would Be The Most Intelligent Beings On Planet Earth.

"It's Your Birthday" Mateo Said. I Didn't Respond. "Are You Not Excited To Be 15" He Asked. Reading My Book I Uttered "I Turned 15 Long Ago"

(He'd just turned 15)

How Can Mirrors Be Real If Our Eyes Aren't Real

Jonah Hill Is A Genius

You Can Discover Everything You Need To Know About Everything By Looking At Your Hands

I'm Slowly Realizing I Need To Make A Trip Out To Norway

I Should Just Stop Tweeting, The Human Consciousness Must Raise Before I Speak My Juvenile Philosophy.

beanie.

Joey Essex
“I can't blow my nose, I've never learnt how to do it”