People with no social skills

Olive8585 · 10-05-2014 08:33PM #1

No, I don't mean people who are a bit shy or reserved, because I'm like that. I mean people who don't seem capable of the basic concept of interaction and respecting other people.

I was in the supermarket today and went to the self-service checkout queue. There was a guy hovering there with a basket, trying to get the attention of one of the staff. I was going to walk past him, as it looked like he was at one of the checkouts already and having an issue with it, but on the off-chance he was waiting, I said, "Sorry are you waiting?" He made an irritated expression, scowled, tutted and gestured forwards. As if saying "no, go ahead" was just beyond him. I get that he was in a bad mood but it wasn't my bloody fault!

Was at the dentist's yesterday to sort out a mistake THEY made with charging me. I had been told to come in at X o'clock and talk to 'Sarah', as she was the one who had the info to help me. Went into the reception area, for the receptionist to completely ignore me and keep typing. After a minute, I said 'Hi' and she said "Yes, I'll be with you in a minute" without looking up, making me feel like the biggest nuisance of all time. After about two more minutes, she looks up and says "yes?" I said "Is Sarah around?" She said, "no" looking at me if I was a complete and utter moron. I got that Sarah wasn't physically at her desk, but she could have been on lunch, having a fag, on the toilet, anywhere? She didn't offer any explanation as to why Sarah wasn't there or ask me why I was looking for her or any of the normal questions a normal person would ask, so I said, "Oh OK, is she not in today then? I had an appointment with her for this time." Receptionist says "No, she's off sick today." No offer to take a message, or ask what it was regarding, or see if anyone else could help. Then she looked back at her screen. I said, "OK then...I'll ring tomorrow to see if she's back...?" Receptionist says "Yeah, OK", still typing. I left in total disbelief that someone in a customer facing role could be so totally rude and sh1te at their job.

This seems to happen almost every day now and it seems to be mostly people under 25...what is it with these people having NO social skills at all? Is it because they grew up attached to mobile phones and the internet? I'm actually surprised now any time I meet a young person who smiles at you when they talk to you instead of looking irritated and put out, can hold a conversation and has some charm instead of seeming devoid of personality.

Cantremember · 10-05-2014 08:37PM

Its nothing to do with the internet. Since they sucked their mothers tit there are twenty something's who have been brought up to believe they are gods gift. Stop treating these types with respect. Treat them as the idiot drones they are and kick their self absorbed arses. Then you'll get your rights.

scottp68877 · 10-05-2014 08:38PM

Maybe it's just you?

Archeron · 10-05-2014 08:40PM

Sorry for keeping you waiting OP, I'm Sarah. How can I help?

michellie · 10-05-2014 08:41PM

Stop now it's nothing to do with people under 25, I was screamed at in work last week from an older "gentleman" for something that was absolutely not my fault(his fault) but he refused to listen to me.

Maniac, I had to just walk away from him before I lost my cool.

KyussBishop · 10-05-2014 08:42PM

That's not a lack of social skills, that's just rudeness/being-a-díck.

AlwaysAnyTime · 10-05-2014 08:46PM

People who interrupt you talking and don't let you finish. You are trying to finish a sentence and can see they are just itching to cut you off and provide their more important opinion. With all due respect to people with ADD, they are the worst offenders.

deseil · 10-05-2014 08:46PM

You need to be more assertive that receptionist was rude and obnoxious and you let her away with it.
The dude in Tesco sounds like he was just peed off trying to use the brain melt self service tills.

Mr. Incognito · 10-05-2014 08:46PM

Youth of today!!!!

Rabble rabble rabble.

Rinse wash repeat.

Reminded of the militant grannies that would shoulder charge everyone to get on the bus first as if it was their right and the rest of us queuing were spectators.

Have a cup of tae.

Birneybau · 10-05-2014 08:47PM

Archeron wrote: »

Sorry for keeping you waiting OP, I'm Sarah. How can I help?

Hilarious. I love when people do that...

Olive8585 · 10-05-2014 08:58PM

KyussBishop wrote: »

That's not a lack of social skills, that's just rudeness/being-a-díck.

In the case of the receptionist, I don't think think she knew she was being a d1ck. I find when you call these people out, they're usually shocked and hurt and don't understand what you're talking about.

deseil · 10-05-2014 09:01PM

Olive8585 wrote: »

In the case of the receptionist, I don't think think she knew she was being a d1ck. I find when you call these people out, they're usually shocked and hurt and don't understand what you're talking about.

But you didn't call her out you let her away with it, if you pointed out to her how rude(unhelpful) she was she may have changed her tune.

endacl · 10-05-2014 09:04PM

Olive8585 wrote: »

I find when you call these people out, they're usually shocked and hurt and don't understand what you're talking about.

So?

singledad80 · 10-05-2014 09:21PM

I have to say I am very like that, I have no social skills what so ever, I am sorry its just I was very lonely child growing up and hardly any friends so I lack that skill in a big way I don't mean to be like that and I often forget that I do so I am really sorry its just really hard trying to fit in.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy · 10-05-2014 09:23PM

singledad80 wrote: »

I have to say I am very like that, I have no social skills what so ever, I am sorry its just I was very lonely child growing up and hardly any friends so I lack that skill in a big way I don't mean to be like that and I often forget that I do so I am really sorry its just really hard trying to fit in.

You're grand, it's cool. Go back over to where you were, good stuff.

Curly Judge · 10-05-2014 09:28PM

Nothing at all to do with age but everything to do with ill rearing of a inbred semi - troglodyte class who think "please" and "thank you" and "excuse me" are signs of effeminacy .
These people were reared by parents who could fart more eloquently than they could speak so how were they ever going to learn the social graces most of us take for granted?
I remember when I worked in England in the late sixties and needed to phone home.
The telephone system back then was such that you had to first contact an English telephonist and they would put you through to their Irish counterpart.
On the English side it was generally "Yes Sir"...."Sorry to keep you waiting".... "Trying to connect you".
On the Irish side you would be spoken to in much the same terms as a farmer would address a revenue official outside a cattle market.
Sheer guttural rudeness and unhelpfulness !
It was like getting out of a warm soapy bath and then being plunged into a frozen bog-hole.

Actually I think our young people today are, on the whole, a great improvement, with a few dishonourable exceptions.

Frank Lee Midere · 10-05-2014 09:31PM

singledad80 wrote: »

I have to say I am very like that, I have no social skills what so ever, I am sorry its just I was very lonely child growing up and hardly any friends so I lack that skill in a big way I don't mean to be like that and I often forget that I do so I am really sorry its just really hard trying to fit in.

Well you are not in a customer facing role.

Olive8585 · 10-05-2014 09:34PM

Curly Judge wrote: »

Nothing at all to do with age but everything to do with ill rearing of a inbred semi - troglodyte class who think "please" and "thank you" and "excuse me" are signs of effeminacy .
These people were reared by parents who could fart more eloquently than they could speak so how were they ever going to learn the social graces most of us take for granted?
I remember when I worked in England in the late sixties and needed to phone home.
The telephone system back then was such that you had to first contact an English telephonist and they would put you through to their Irish counterpart.
On the English side it was generally "Yes Sir"...."Sorry to keep you waiting".... "Trying to connect you".
On the Irish side you would be spoken to in much the same terms as a farmer would address a revenue official outside a cattle market.
Sheer guttural rudeness and unhelpfulness !
It was like getting out of a warm soapy bath and then being plunged into a frozen bog-hole.

Actually I think our young people today are, on the whole, a great improvement, with a few dishonourable exceptions.

I live in London. I think English customer service people are on the whole, much worse than their Irish counterparts.

Frank Lee Midere · 10-05-2014 09:36PM

Olive8585 wrote: »

No, I don't mean people who are a bit shy or reserved, because I'm like that. I mean people who don't seem capable of the basic concept of interaction and respecting other people.

I was in the supermarket today and went to the self-service checkout queue. There was a guy hovering there with a basket, trying to get the attention of one of the staff. I was going to walk past him, as it looked like he was at one of the checkouts already and having an issue with it, but on the off-chance he was waiting, I said, "Sorry are you waiting?" He made an irritated expression, scowled, tutted and gestured forwards. As if saying "no, go ahead" was just beyond him. I get that he was in a bad mood but it wasn't my bloody fault!

Was at the dentist's yesterday to sort out a mistake THEY made with charging me. I had been told to come in at X o'clock and talk to 'Sarah', as she was the one who had the info to help me. Went into the reception area, for the receptionist to completely ignore me and keep typing. After a minute, I said 'Hi' and she said "Yes, I'll be with you in a minute" without looking up, making me feel like the biggest nuisance of all time. After about two more minutes, she looks up and says "yes?" I said "Is Sarah around?" She said, "no" looking at me if I was a complete and utter moron. I got that Sarah wasn't physically at her desk, but she could have been on lunch, having a fag, on the toilet, anywhere? She didn't offer any explanation as to why Sarah wasn't there or ask me why I was looking for her or any of the normal questions a normal person would ask, so I said, "Oh OK, is she not in today then? I had an appointment with her for this time." Receptionist says "No, she's off sick today." No offer to take a message, or ask what it was regarding, or see if anyone else could help. Then she looked back at her screen. I said, "OK then...I'll ring tomorrow to see if she's back...?" Receptionist says "Yeah, OK", still typing. I left in total disbelief that someone in a customer facing role could be so totally rude and sh1te at their job.

This seems to happen almost every day now and it seems to be mostly people under 25...what is it with these people having NO social skills at all? Is it because they grew up attached to mobile phones and the internet? I'm actually surprised now any time I meet a young person who smiles at you when they talk to you instead of looking irritated and put out, can hold a conversation and has some charm instead of seeming devoid of personality.

Complain to the dentist. You don't have to go to him. The receptionists main job is people facing. Her main role is meeting people. If typing were her main role a he could be in a different room typing.

If she was genuinely busy she should stop , look up, and say "be with you in a second". The proper response to "is sara here" is "no, can I help you".

She's like a taxi driver who can't drive.

As for the other guy at the self service - he's not anybody's employee so I would write that off.

Frank Lee Midere · 10-05-2014 09:37PM

Olive8585 wrote: »

I live in London. I think English customer service people are on the whole, much worse than their Irish counterparts.

London maybe. I found the South West very friendly.

Frank Lee Midere · 10-05-2014 09:41PM

Curly Judge wrote: »

Nothing at all to do with age but everything to do with ill rearing of a inbred semi - troglodyte class who think "please" and "thank you" and "excuse me" are signs of effeminacy .
These people were reared by parents who could fart more eloquently than they could speak so how were they ever going to learn the social graces most of us take for granted?
I remember when I worked in England in the late sixties and needed to phone home.
The telephone system back then was such that you had to first contact an English telephonist and they would put you through to their Irish counterpart.
On the English side it was generally "Yes Sir"...."Sorry to keep you waiting".... "Trying to connect you".
On the Irish side you would be spoken to in much the same terms as a farmer would address a revenue official outside a cattle market.
Sheer guttural rudeness and unhelpfulness !
It was like getting out of a warm soapy bath and then being plunged into a frozen bog-hole.

Actually I think our young people today are, on the whole, a great improvement, with a few dishonourable exceptions.

With the exception of the feral underclass. I agree. The younger people are in Ireland the politer they are.

scwazrh · 10-05-2014 09:45PM

Curly Judge wrote: »

same terms as a farmer would address a revenue official outside a cattle market.

That's the best way of describing a persons level of rudeness I've heard in a while !

Tail Docker · 10-05-2014 09:50PM

deseil wrote: »

But you didn't call her out you let her away with it, if you pointed out to her how rude(unhelpful) she was she may have changed her tune.

i.e, it's all your fault OP. As per usual.

BTW, I'm with you - walk into a shop, you get a grunt, or "yeah?" or "you ok?" or just a glance up. It's like being in a Kevin and Perry sketch in some places.

Olive8585 · 10-05-2014 09:52PM

Tail Docker wrote: »

i.e, it's all your fault OP. As per usual.

BTW, I'm with you - walk into a shop, you get a grunt, or "yeah?" or "you ok?" or just a glance up. It's like being in a Kevin and Perry sketch in some places.

LOL yeah I know. Someone was rude and it was my fault for not telling her she was rude?

I just remembered a new one. This one is with Americans. You say thank you and they say.......mmmm hmmm. Yes, mmmm hmmmm. This apparently has replaced 'you're welcome' for lots of Americans. Drives me insane. It's much worse than saying nothing.

Shakespeare's Sister · 10-05-2014 09:58PM

KyussBishop wrote: »

That's not a lack of social skills, that's just rudeness/being-a-díck.

Kinda the same thing, no?

I know exactly what you mean OP - you put it in a nut-shell when you said it was as if it was beyond the guy to say "Go ahead". The receptionist - what a ****. Bla bla you should have given out to her - you shouldn't have had to do anything; she was the one who shouldn't have behaved as she did.
The above kinda people aren't just rude, they're sort of... incapable of interacting in the normal way; it's as if they just can't do it, which I suppose isn't their fault, but it's still annoying.

KyussBishop · 10-05-2014 10:05PM

Separate to what the OP meant: Can we get rid of the idea/concept that 'no social skills' is a bad thing? There are plenty of reasons why people - through no fault of their own - end up deficient in this area, and have a lot of trouble regaining their abilities here (especially as an adult), so it's kind of a shít thing to judge someone by as well.

KyussBishop · 10-05-2014 10:06PM

Magaggie wrote: »

Kinda the same thing, no?

I know exactly what you mean OP - you put it in a nut-shell when you said it was as if it was beyond the guy to say "Go ahead". The receptionist - what a ****. Bla bla you should have given out to her - you shouldn't have had to do anything; she was the one who shouldn't have behaved as she did.
The above kinda people aren't just rude, they're sort of... incapable of interacting in the normal way; it's as if they just can't do it, which I suppose isn't their fault, but it's still annoying.

No, it's completely different - you can have underdeveloped social skills, without being rude at all; it's kind of an insult to anyone who has had to deal with issues which isolate them socially, leading to a deterioration in their social skills (a lot more common than people think - and judging people based on that, is about as shítty a thing to do, as judging a person suffering from depression, for being 'negative' or depressed).

Frank Lee Midere · 10-05-2014 10:10PM

KyussBishop wrote: »

Separate to what the OP meant: Can we get rid of the idea/concept that 'no social skills' is a bad thing? There are plenty of reasons why people - through no fault of their own - end up deficient in this area, and have a lot of trouble regaining their abilities here (especially as an adult), so it's kind of a shít thing to judge someone by as well.

The problem is the thread title. I am with her on the rude receptionist, I wouldn't be too upset by the guy in the self service queue. Plenty of people with low social skills ( like lack of confidence etc.) are nevertheless not rude.

Thread should be titled. "Rude people".

KyussBishop · 10-05-2014 10:11PM

Frank Lee Midere wrote: »

The problem is the thread title. I am with her on the rude receptionist, I wouldn't be too upset by the guy in the self service queue. Plenty of people with low social skills ( like lack of confidence etc.) are nevertheless not rude.

Ya - I see what the OP is saying, just a poorly chosen title/thing-to-pin-the-blame-on.

Stheno · 10-05-2014 10:13PM

Its nothing to do with upbringing etc imo.

I have been personality tested a few times, every time they mention that I am very introverted but have learned to deal with social situations using various methods.

Where I do not have to be sociable, I simply am not, e.g. tonight in the supermarket something wouldn't scan, I was annoyed, and made that clear.

The staff member didn't believe me when I told them the price of the item, said I was lying and got it checked, and held me up five minutes.

Lo and behold it was the price I said, I've no interest either in engaging with people etc

That said I have good manners and loathe those with bad manners

Shakespeare's Sister · 10-05-2014 10:17PM

Oh yeh rudeness can be at any age - I don't know why under-25s are being brought into it.

Curly Judge wrote: »

Nothing at all to do with age but everything to do with ill rearing of a inbred semi - troglodyte class who think "please" and "thank you" and "excuse me" are signs of effeminacy .
These people were reared by parents who could fart more eloquently than they could speak so how were they ever going to learn the social graces most of us take for granted?

Not sure it's everything to do with that either. Staggeringly rude people can be from all walks of life.

People with no social skills

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