Ohmigodwhywon'tthealarmgooff

orangesoda · 02-05-2014 04:38PM

orangesoda wrote: »

I'm sorry whoopsadaisydoodles for ruining your thread with smelly stories. I really am. It won't happen again. I pwomise.

some mod seems to have edited my original comment

keith16 · 02-05-2014 04:39PM

danniemcq wrote: »

Whats your favourite humming noise?

mmmmmmMMMMMMMMmmmmmm

OR

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

The first one there now, that's the sound of a fridge humming.

I'm partial to fridge humming.

Earthhorse · 02-05-2014 04:47PM

bluewolf wrote: »

"You put your right leg in..."

More like "Nicola, Nicola...Nicola! The taxi...here lads are yis getting int the taxi?...No, I already had chips."

Just get in the f*cking taxi already!

02-05-2014 04:50PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Are there any noises you regularly have to endure that may one day push you over the edge and turn you into a psychotic killer?

The sound of a customer breaking a bottle of beer/wine 5mins before closing. Rage inducing.

--LOS-- · 02-05-2014 04:59PM

My parents have those anti-pest control plugs in their house, you know the ones that emit a really high pitch noise. Any time I'm over there I have to plug the damn thing out because they're too old to hear it, but to me it is the most annoying high pitch sound

corner of hells · 02-05-2014 06:30PM

keith16 wrote: »

mmmmmmMMMMMMMMmmmmmm

OR

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

The first one there now, that's the sound of a fridge humming.

I'm partial to fridge humming.

The one that I make after I set fire to something ... MM MM MM wooooo waaa mmmm

Spring Onion · 02-05-2014 07:05PM

I made a few petrol bombs with my friends when I was about 13. Maybe we did it wrong but two things struck me at the time (1) They are not easy to throw (2) It is very easy to get badly burned when throwing them.

We learned a valuable lesson and went back to throwing eggs, which is also harder than you think....

thimble · 02-05-2014 08:00PM

Co-worker who makes this weird tongue-sticking-to-sides-of-dry-mouth sound when he speaks. Just take a drink of water ffs.

Lisha · 02-05-2014 08:12PM

I girl I work with has this most annoying habit at the canteen table.
She has to be doing it to wind people up.

She turns her fork tine side down and then scrapes, scratches and rattles the knife between the tines.

I keep myself calm by imagining the said cutlery sticking out of her eyeballs.

I also hate the sound of gurglery nose blowing and sweet Jesus the sound when people pull off wooly gloves with teeth makes me mentally ill.

(On rereading post it appears I might have a few issues )

Lisha · 02-05-2014 08:15PM

--LOS-- wrote: »

My parents have those anti-pest control plugs in their house, you know the ones that emit a really high pitch noise. Any time I'm over there I have to plug the damn thing out because they're too old to hear it, but to me it is the most annoying high pitch sound

Are you young by any chance? Apparently the ability to hear noise at that frequency ends after the teenager years .

Poca Nose · 02-05-2014 08:26PM

Are alarms even that effective, I wonder? Are they effective enough to justify the amount of noise pollution they cause. Nobody ever seems to take any notice of them in an "oh noes, a robbery" kind of way, more just in a "fúck, that's annoying" type way.

thelad95 · 02-05-2014 08:36PM

Stupid f*CKING birds singing their monotone generic crappy songs outside my window at 11pm every night. A shotgun would be handy.

--LOS-- · 02-05-2014 11:20PM

Lisha wrote: »

Are you young by any chance? Apparently the ability to hear noise at that frequency ends after the teenager years .

I'm 26? I have those plugs myself and I can't hear those ones, but their ones are so annoying and I've said it to them loads and they haven't a clue what I'm on about.

happypants · 03-05-2014 12:44AM

The joys of living in an estate are quickly driving me insane..

House alarms go off regularly as do car alarms, dog next door (Alsatian) barks it's head off if I open my window as it over looks onto where he is which sets off another big sounding dog in a house behind that house. Then there's our other neighbour who loves to bring out the generator to work on cars, cleaning hoovering etc etc any sign of sun or dry weather. I don't understand why some people are such a distruption to others all the time, we don't cause any disturbance for our neighbours and we too have a dog, cars with alarms and a house alarm...

I enjoy opening my windows if the weathers nice but I've come to realise it's not worth it, gonna invest in a fan for summer.

Lord PuppyMcSnuggle of Cuddleshire · 03-05-2014 01:12AM

Living around a lot of younger families, one of my main torments is the ice-cream van. The same deafening distorted jingly crap tune blaring every day.
I hate living near people.

Graces7 · 03-05-2014 12:45PM

Lord PuppyMcSnuggle of Cuddleshire wrote: »

Living around a lot of younger families, one of my main torments is the ice-cream van. The same deafening distorted jingly crap tune blaring every day.
I hate living near people.

deepest sympathy and why i live in a fiel d...well nearly...

Lisha · 03-05-2014 12:52PM

--LOS-- wrote: »

I'm 26? I have those plugs myself and I can't hear those ones, but their ones are so annoying and I've said it to them loads and they haven't a clue what I'm on about.

You must have youthful ears so.

Your parents really cannot hear anything.
Shopping centers in UK spoke about using those sonic plug ins to stop 'yoofs' gathering and causing anti social issues.

Legs.Eleven · 03-05-2014 01:18PM

My Spanish neighbours. I've become fairly tolerant of noise the past 4 and a half years but my neighbours are un-fcuking-believe. We have:

The old lady who makes sounds like she's orgasming as she hangs her clothes out to dry.

Old lady's cat whose meows sound like a baby in pain.

My bloody next door neighbour who belts out a Flamenco number on a regular basis with his windows open. The man hasn't got a note in his head.

The man downstairs who exercises by running up and down the wooden stairs in a pair of jeans and normal, hard soled shoes.

The "Presidente de la comunidad" (basically the president of the management of our building - every building here in Spain has one) who has full blown conversations about all of us at the top of her lungs with other neighbours. Last week she had a good auld bitch about us with another neighbour for all to hear, including us (we don't close the lift door, apparently - it's not bloody us!:mad:).

The man who plays dolphin meditation music first thing in the morning on Saturday.

It really has to be witnessed to be believed. People just LOVE being heard here and I've learned to tolerate it to some degree but today I've got a ferocious hangover and someone is going to pay! :mad::mad:

Graces7 · 03-05-2014 01:28PM

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

My Spanish neighbours. I've become fairly tolerant of noise the past 4 and a half years but my neighbours are un-fcuking-believe. We have:

The old lady who makes sounds like she's orgasming as she hangs her clothes out to dry.

Old lady's cat whose meows sound like a baby in pain.

My bloody next door neighbour who belts out a Flamenco number on a regular basis with his windows open. The man hasn't got a note in his head.

The man downstairs who exercises by running up and down the wooden stairs in a pair of jeans and normal, hard soled shoes.

The "Presidente de la comunidad" (basically the president of the management of our building - every building here in Spain has one) who has full blown conversations about all of us at the top of her lungs with other neighbours. Last week she had a good auld bitch about us with another neighbour for all to hear, including us (we don't close the lift door, apparently - it's not bloody us!:mad:).

The man who plays dolphin meditation music first thing in the morning on Saturday.

It really has to be witnessed to be believed. People just LOVE being heard here and I've learned to tolerate it to some degree but today I've got a ferocious hangover and someone is going to pay! :mad::mad:

right...crossing spain off my retiremnt wish list!

Czarcasm · 03-05-2014 01:36PM

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

The man who plays dolphin meditation music first thing in the morning on Saturday.

This had me intrigued (when you're a child it's 'curiosity', when you're an adult it's 'intrigue'!), so I did a quick google, not what I thought it was at all!

I should warn anyone before listening that there's a sudden high pitched squeal about three minutes in that'd give Ella Fitzgerald a run for her money (the singer who could shatter glass with her vocal clarity), definitely not a good idea with earphones in... my fcuking ears

Legs.Eleven · 03-05-2014 01:38PM

That's it, Czarcasm! I quite like it in any other context tbh but not first thing on a Saturday morning on full blast. Same fella who plays that stuff is the same guy who exercises with jeans and shoes on. I think he's a little cuckoo.

Menas · 03-05-2014 01:43PM

Tinnitus is killing me, the most unbearable sound....and there is no getting away from it as it is, literally, in your head.

Czarcasm · 03-05-2014 01:48PM

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

That's it, Czarcasm! I quite like it in any other context tbh but not first thing on a Saturday morning on full blast. Same fella who plays that stuff is the same guy who exercises with jeans and shoes on. I think he's a little cuckoo.

Czarcasm wrote: »

That be the four stone bags of spuds now or the 25kg bag of spuds?

"Bring in that bag of coal out of the van!"

"But it says 50kg :eek:"

"Go on! Put muscles on ya!"

Most heavy lifting anyone does nowadays is done in the gym. I went to the gym once on a mates guest pass. There were lads there grunting and moaning while lifting 6kg dumbbells, eyeballing themselves in the wall to wall mirrors. I got kicked off the treadmill for wearing new rocks and jeans.

Really wasn't for me

He sounds like my brother from another mother :pac:

gugleguy · 03-05-2014 01:50PM

Lord PuppyMcSnuggle of Cuddleshire wrote: »

Living around a lot of younger families, one of my main torments is the ice-cream van. The same deafening distorted jingly crap tune blaring every day.
I hate living near people.

Lord Snuggles, this is the crucial question: You need to sample the aforementioned van's ware. The only way. This is the yardstick:
1) +1 for the ice cream van if you get a cone wrapped in a napkin.
2) After buying the product, a plain one will do, don't lick it YET. Instead, count to 20 and see if the icecream has started leaking down the cone.
If the leaking starts before you reach 20, -1.
3) How does it taste.

Report back on this thread.

Amalgam · 03-05-2014 01:59PM

Trigger Happy wrote: »

Tinnitus is killing me, the most unbearable sound....and there is no getting away from it as it is, literally, in your head.

I find this helps.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPoqNeR3_UA

The replicator doesn't have a feckin' clue what Walnut Whips are, don't bother asking it..

Menas · 03-05-2014 02:01PM

Amalgam wrote: »

I find this helps.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPoqNeR3_UA

The replicator doesn't have a feckin' clue what Walnut Whips are, don't bother asking it..

That vid is 24 hours long.....what happens at the end?

corner of hells · 03-05-2014 03:41PM

Spring Onion wrote: »

I made a few petrol bombs with my friends when I was about 13. Maybe we did it wrong but two things struck me at the time (1) They are not easy to throw (2) It is very easy to get badly burned when throwing them.

We learned a valuable lesson and went back to throwing eggs, which is also harder than you think....

Erm if you're making petrol bombs , make sure you put some sugar in the bottle .
That way you don't have to use as much petrol and improve your chances of not getting burned , but be aware the idea behind the sugar is that when the petrol bomb is thrown , the sugar in it sticks to what it hits and burns nicer.

.

Have fun.

Arthur Beesley · 03-05-2014 03:48PM

Amalgam wrote: »

I find this helps.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPoqNeR3_UA

The replicator doesn't have a feckin' clue what Walnut Whips are, don't bother asking it..

What about Pyramints?

Lord PuppyMcSnuggle of Cuddleshire · 04-05-2014 04:32AM

gugleguy wrote: »

You need to sample the aforementioned van's ware.

No, I keep my ice-cream in the freezer like a sane person, who knows how to perform a rudimentary cost-benefit analysis.
I also don't want the conditioned response of craving ice-cream every time I hear his shrill jingle. Though it might be preferential to my existing response of rising blood pressure and shoulder tension.

gugleguy · 04-05-2014 11:35AM

Ok then. Is this icecream van a rust bucket, or does is look well maintained with shiny exterior? What's the title of the ice cream van , meh, just for the sake of it!

Ohmigodwhywon'tthealarmgooff

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