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Questions that occupy your mind that no-one else seems to ask

24567…10

Comments

  • #32
    Zed Bank
    Closed Accounts Posts: 504 ✭✭✭Zed Bank


    Cartoon_Head wrote: »
    Why do Gardai pronounce the word "vehicle" as VE-HIC-UL? Are they trained to do so in Templemore?

    "He had drink taaaaaaken"


  • #33
    The King of Moo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,207 ✭✭✭The King of Moo


    orangesoda wrote: »
    Why am i sitting with my togs at my ankles whilst worse looking men are having intercourse?

    Maybe you just have an awful personality.
    stampydmonkey wrote: »
    Sometimes wonder is my reality the same as everyone else's. Like is my blue someone elses red. Is the language I use and hear the same as what everyone else hears. Do my eyes see the same things everyone else's see

    Do our brains just translate everything into a form only we individually can rationalise. Also why can I never explain this theory better....prob cause its a load of horse****

    Flarben.


  • #34
    Ihatecuddles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,986 ✭✭✭Ihatecuddles


    Cartoon_Head wrote: »
    LInk please if you have it?

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=89613173


  • #35
    Eoin247
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 832 ✭✭✭Eoin247


    Would i taste nice?


  • #36
    Ihatecuddles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,986 ✭✭✭Ihatecuddles


    john the one wrote: »
    What happens to the fart when I hold it in and it disappears, does it get absorbed into the intestine walls or just come out later?

    You burp it out!


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  • #37
    kneemos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,605 ✭✭✭✭kneemos


    john the one wrote: »
    What happens to the fart when I hold it in and it disappears, does it get absorbed into the intestine walls or just come out later?

    That's where belches come from.


  • #38
    pragmatic1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,573 ✭✭✭pragmatic1


    I sometimes wonder what would happen/who would stop me, if I acted on the little psychopathic thoughts that pop into my head from time to time.


  • #39
    fussyonion
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,827 ✭✭✭fussyonion


    What if there's life on another planet with humans (or their version of humans) and they consider us as "aliens" and our planes as "UFO's"?

    What if they fly around Earth in their spaceships to see if there's life on this big blue planet?

    What if they come to Earth to check us out but are prepared to protect themselves against us "aliens" and we humans are doing the very same thing to them?

    Who's going to win that one? Them or us?


  • #40
    Firewalkwithme
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,054 ✭✭✭Firewalkwithme


    How can there be nothing? Nothing is something since it is defined as existing therefore there is no such thing as nothing, only something called nothing which isn't nothing at all.


  • #41
    orangesoda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,223 ✭✭✭orangesoda


    The King of Moo wrote: »
    Maybe you just have an awful personality.

    No sure I won the primary school comedy award 2001, have a wee plaque and all


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  • #42
    Eoin247
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 832 ✭✭✭Eoin247


    mauzo! wrote: »
    You burp it out!
    kneemos wrote: »
    That's where belches come from.

    ewwwwwwww


  • #43
    The King of Moo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,207 ✭✭✭The King of Moo


    Cartoon_Head wrote: »
    How can there be nothing? Nothing is something since it is defined as existing therefore there is no such thing as nothing, only something called nothing which isn't nothing at all.

    If you put two mirrors facing each other, what do they reflect?
    orangesoda wrote: »
    No sure I won the primary school comedy award 2001, have a wee plaque and all

    It'll be the bad breath so.


  • #44
    stampydmonkey
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,366 ✭✭✭stampydmonkey


    fussyonion wrote: »
    What if there's life on another planet with humans (or their version of humans) and they consider us as "aliens" and our planes as "UFO's"?

    What if they fly around Earth in their spaceships to see if there's life on this big blue planet?

    What if they come to Earth to check us out but are prepared to protect themselves against us "aliens" and we humans are doing the very same thing to them?

    Who's going to win that one? Them or us?
    Us...we have Tom Cruise and that lad from the corrs...they defo don't have that level of weapon in their arsenal


  • #45
    Adamantium
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,563 ✭✭✭Adamantium


    Do I do what feels right to me or do I do, what I know is right?

    Should I use logic in this situation as opposed to reason?

    Do I care about this person, or do I care about their feelings?


  • #46
    orangesoda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,223 ✭✭✭orangesoda


    The King of Moo wrote: »
    If you put two mirrors facing each other, what do they reflect?



    It'll be the bad breath so.

    no i get that removed every 6 months by my very attractive blonde dentist


  • #47
    wazky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,516 ✭✭✭wazky


    How to blind people know when to stop wiping their ass?


  • #48
    MonkieSocks
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,393 ✭✭✭MonkieSocks


    If a women is in a forest where no one can hear her, is she still complaining?

    =(:-) Me? I know who I am. I'm a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude (-:)=



  • #49
    Firewalkwithme
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,054 ✭✭✭Firewalkwithme


    The King of Moo wrote: »
    If you put two mirrors facing each other, what do they reflect?

    Each other.


  • #50
    TeddyTedson
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,758 ✭✭✭✭TeddyTedson


    --LOS-- wrote: »
    I was in the cinema today and as I was watching all the late-comers shuffle in 10minutes into the film, I was thinking............... why am I always late for everything but I'm never late for the cinema. I just couldn't be late for the cinema, it doesn't happen. And how can I not figure out how to harness this selective punctuality and apply it to other areas in my life :confused:

    That actually is a mad one. The exact same for me:eek:


  • #51
    The King of Moo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,207 ✭✭✭The King of Moo


    Why don't film trailers have...

    *record scratch*

    ... voiceovers anymore?


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  • #52
    MS.ing
    Closed Accounts Posts: 680 ✭✭✭MS.ing


    Specialun wrote: »
    Do my neighbours hear the porn or do i have it at the right level thats its enjoyed and not that its heard outside of these 4 walls and im judged

    if youre that person that I heard last summer walking under an appartment block around 8 pm then yes, yes you can be heard looking at porn. it was a ****in odd experience (headphones you idiot headphones :rolleyes: )


  • #53
    Are I Mad
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 156 ✭✭Are I Mad


    1. At the cinema which arm rest is yours?
    2. Why are there no 'B' batteries?
    3. If man evolved from monkeys, how come we still have monkeys?
    4. How do you handcuff a one-armed man?
    5. If you are bald, what hair color do they put on your driver's license?
    6. Why do they call the little bars "fun sizes". Wouldn't it be more fun to eat a big one?
    7. Why is the Lone Ranger called 'Lone' if he always has his Indian friend Tonto with him?
    8. Why do people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every few hours?
    9. Do prison buses have emergency exits?
    10. Why is it called a funny bone, when if you hit it, it's not funny at all?


    Sometimes I do not sleep well at all.


  • #54
    Firewalkwithme
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,054 ✭✭✭Firewalkwithme


    Are I Mad wrote: »
    1. At the cinema which arm rest is yours?
    2. Why are there no 'B' batteries?
    3. If man evolved from monkeys, how come we still have monkeys?
    4. How do you handcuff a one-armed man?
    5. If you are bald, what hair color do they put on your driver's license?
    6. Why do they call the little bars "fun sizes". Wouldn't it be more fun to eat a big one?
    7. Why is the Lone Ranger called 'Lone' if he always has his Indian friend Tonto with him?
    8. Why do people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every few hours?
    9. Do prison buses have emergency exits?
    10. Why is it called a funny bone, when if you hit it, it's not funny at all?


    Sometimes I do not sleep well at all.

    1. Dunno
    2. Dunno
    3. Man didn't evolve from monkeys, they are our genetic cousins.
    4. Cuff his arm to his ankle.
    5. N/A, None or the original colour prior to hair loss.
    6. Yes it would.
    7. Tonto isn't a Ranger.
    8. Turn of phrase?
    9. Dunno.
    10. It's funny when it happens to someone else.


  • #55
    Are I Mad
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 156 ✭✭Are I Mad


    Cartoon Head, Sir your kindness knows no bounds, I will sleep easier tonight,:D:D

    I particularly liked Tonto is'nt a Ranger, the world is clearer now:D:) you are a genius.


  • #56
    MonkieSocks
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,393 ✭✭✭MonkieSocks


    Cartoon_Head wrote: »
    1.
    7. Tonto isn't a Ranger.

    The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding through one of the many canyons when suddenly rising from the hill on their right are hundreds of indians.

    They start to spur their horse forward when they realised that there are hundreds of indians ahead of them.

    Wheeling to the left they, once again, see hundreds of indians rising from the hill.

    They begin to back away in the direction from which they had come and they realise, they were surrounded. The indians had spread out.

    They were trapped.

    The Lone Ranger turns to Tonto, his life long friend, and says "Tonto, my firend, I think I must say that I have treasured our times together but now I think we are doomed".

    " We?" replied Tonto "What's all this we, Paleface?":P

    =(:-) Me? I know who I am. I'm a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude (-:)=



  • #57
    Samsgirl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,217 ✭✭✭Samsgirl


    If you multiply something by zero, you get zero?? If I have two apples & I multiply them by zero where do they go??


  • #58
    Are I Mad
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 156 ✭✭Are I Mad


    Ah here now MonkieSock, Cartoon Head had all that sorted out for me, and then you come in and destroy his magnificant theory, and now I'm back to square one.

    How in the name of God am I to get any sleep tonight:D:D:D:D


  • #59
    Are I Mad
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 156 ✭✭Are I Mad


    Samsgirl wrote: »
    If you multiply something by zero, you get zero?? If I have two apples & I multiply them by zero where do they go??
    The two apples were a figment of your imagination maybe?


  • #60
    Firewalkwithme
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,054 ✭✭✭Firewalkwithme


    Samsgirl wrote: »
    If you multiply something by zero, you get zero?? If I have two apples & I multiply them by zero where do they go??

    Yeah in our perception of physical reality the mutiply by zero thing makes no sense but in effect, mathmatically a least, you are removing the apples from existence. The question about where they go is important though as matter cannot be created or destroyed, only it's form can change. I'm very, very far from being an expert on these things but it's an interesting contradiction.


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  • #61
    Are I Mad
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 156 ✭✭Are I Mad


    I have one more question, can atheists get insurance for an act of God?


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