Appropriate wedding present amount

20-03-2014 08:13PM #1

Next weekend I am going to a wedding - they're a good friend and a former college classmate. Its the first time I'm attending a non-family wedding and I'm unsure of how much to give as a present. Is there an appropriate amount? What would the social norm me?

Cork selfbuild · 20-03-2014 08:15PM

However much you feel you can afford to give and that you are happy with...

I'm getting married and if i got anything it'd be a bonus...

I went to a wedding solo and gave €100, if the missus was there it'd have been more.

Inspector Coptoor · 21-03-2014 09:40PM

I give €100, €150-€200 if I bring the missus

jennybeth · 22-03-2014 11:33AM

you can give as much you like. In my view between 100 to 150 is a nice amount.

solerina · 22-03-2014 02:01PM

We got married last year and singles in general gave 100 (some 150) couples gave 150 or 200 (about 50/50 split). I would always have given 150 no matter whether I went alone or brought my partner.

Gatica · 23-03-2014 06:33PM

as a couple we give 200, or 150 and and a small present. It's what you can afford though really... If you can't afford 100, maybe get a small gift instead or whatever cash you can. Any reasonable couple would understand and be delighted with anything they get!

Santa Cruz · 23-03-2014 09:24PM

€100 for a single would be about right. They will show a nice profit on that so be sure to lay into the champagne reception

Ann Landers · 23-03-2014 09:29PM

Santa Cruz wrote: »

€100 for a single would be about right. They will show a nice profit on that so be sure to lay into the champagne reception

Profit? Ick.

50-100 is grand, OP, if you can afford it.

Vojera · 23-03-2014 09:48PM

I'm just writing thank you cards at the moment and the amount given varies from €50 per couple to €300 per couple, depending on how close they are to us. I know that for some people who gave €50 it was genuinely a stretch to afford both that and the hotel so we're very grateful.

So, in a roundabout way what I'm saying is give what you can afford. If things are tight for you then your friend knows this and will understand. If you can afford to give a little more then that's great and I'm sure they'll appreciate that.

kkcatlou · 23-03-2014 10:04PM

Santa Cruz wrote: »

€100 for a single would be about right. They will show a nice profit on that so be sure to lay into the champagne reception

Total nonsense....I have yet to speak to any couple who made a "profit" on their wedding!! From what I've heard people get around 25-50% of the cost of a wedding back in gifts. The attitude of "covering your meal + some" is such a Celtic Tiger notion and not one guests or brides and grooms would appreciate I think.

The above from others sounds about right, but as they say, it's what you can afford, and if you're any way creative, a thoughtful personal gift could be more appreciated than cash!

robinph · 24-03-2014 03:09PM

Give whatever you feel like, which could be anything from €0 - €lots.

It's their party and they want you there, you don't have to pay for a ticket to gain entry.

Toots · 25-03-2014 07:50PM

How well do you know the person? Also, how much could you reasonably afford to give without putting yourself under financial pressure. I've been to a similar type wedding a couple of years ago and gave €100, it was all I could afford and even at that I was pushing it a bit. Do you know if they're heading abroad for their honeymoon? If they're going to a non-euro country you could get some [insert appropriate currency] and put it in a card, just so it's a bit different.

Gatica · 26-03-2014 08:57AM

Santa Cruz wrote: »

They will show a nice profit on that so be sure to lay into the champagne reception

That's not a very nice way to look at what is a gift, not a ticket entry as others have said. The sparking wine supplied at wedding may have been on a purchase or return basis, so I don't know why someone want to lay into it for the sake of it. Just enjoy the day, the food and drink, and don't think about "cost" (unless it's an open bar).
We spent well over 100pp, so anyone thinking we were gonna make a "profit" on their gift would've been wrong.

Toots* wrote: »

If they're going to a non-euro country you could get some [insert appropriate currency] and put it in a card, just so it's a bit
different.

It's a wonderful idea but one would have to be sure they'd open cards before leaving on honeymoon. We did, but maybe not everyone has the time to.

jlm29 · 26-03-2014 09:16AM

If you sent the card a couple of weeks before the wedding, you could be fairly sure of it!

jlm29 · 26-03-2014 09:17AM

jlm29 wrote: »

If you sent the card a couple of weeks before the wedding, you could be fairly sure of it!

Actually just read the op. Obviously not an option in this case

Curlysue76 · 31-03-2014 11:48AM

I have family wedding in few weeks. My brothers. I will be going with teenage son and younger daughter, we will be staying 2 nights in hotel ( wedding far from my home). I'm not working at the moment. I hope to stretch to €100 in cash for gift and my daughter wants to get small token gift, maybe me to you teddy or the like, for roughly €20. Do you think this would be acceptable? I would have loved to give €200 but not possible.

People are generally say €100 per person, how much is expected, maybe wrong word, for children?

Sala · 31-03-2014 11:51AM

Curlysue76 wrote: »

I have family wedding in few weeks. My brothers. I will be going with teenage son and younger daughter, we will be staying 2 nights in hotel ( wedding far from my home). I'm not working at the moment. I hope to stretch to €100 in cash for gift and my daughter wants to get small token gift, maybe me to you teddy or the like, for roughly €20. Do you think this would be acceptable? I would have loved to give €200 but not possible.

People are generally say €100 per person, how much is expected, maybe wrong word, for children?

Anything you can afford to give. If it's a stretch don't go for the 100. Gifts should not be expected and anyway, the bride and groom will have a fair idea of your circumstances - even if there is an expectation of a money gift they must know there are people who can't afford it.

Curlysue76 · 31-03-2014 12:03PM

Sala wrote: »

Anything you can afford to give. If it's a stretch don't go for the 100. Gifts should not be expected and anyway, the bride and groom will have a fair idea of your circumstances - even if there is an expectation of a money gift they must know there are people who can't afford it.

Yeah I know they won't expect too much from me. I think I'm just a generous person by nature and feel cheap with €100 gift. That wouldn't even cover our meal costs. But I know that's not the point of a gift though.

robinph · 31-03-2014 12:10PM

Gift: a thing given willingly to someone without payment; a present.

You are under no obligation to give anything to anyone and there should be nobody expecting anything of you, other than that you turn up.

Gatica · 31-03-2014 12:46PM

Curlysue76 wrote: »

I have family wedding in few weeks. My brothers. I will be going with teenage son and younger daughter, we will be staying 2 nights in hotel ( wedding far from my home). I'm not working at the moment. I hope to stretch to €100 in cash for gift and my daughter wants to get small token gift, maybe me to you teddy or the like, for roughly €20. Do you think this would be acceptable? I would have loved to give €200 but not possible.

People are generally say €100 per person, how much is expected, maybe wrong word, for children?

sounds like you're already being very generous given your circumstances. Just give what you can afford, don't worry about the "rate", it's a silly notion for what is essentially a party...

Curlysue76 · 31-03-2014 12:56PM

Gatica wrote: »

sounds like you're already being very generous given your circumstances. Just give what you can afford, don't worry about the "rate", it's a silly notion for what is essentially a party...

Thanks. I think I will give the €100. They are a lovely couple who won't expect more from me. Actually if they thought I had to stretch myself to give that they would be upset. I'm probably being over sensitive not being able to afford more.

kkcatlou · 31-03-2014 03:12PM

Curlysue76 wrote: »

I have family wedding in few weeks. My brothers. I will be going with teenage son and younger daughter, we will be staying 2 nights in hotel ( wedding far from my home). I'm not working at the moment. I hope to stretch to €100 in cash for gift and my daughter wants to get small token gift, maybe me to you teddy or the like, for roughly €20. Do you think this would be acceptable? I would have loved to give €200 but not possible.

People are generally say €100 per person, how much is expected, maybe wrong word, for children?

If it's your brother, would you not prefer to give something personal but cheaper? Like, could you offer to do something for them as part of the wedding? Make the cake, decorations, be a driver, etc? I've seen this done quite a bit in my family and it is much appreciated!

or is there any service you could offer them after the wedding? Anything you do that they would appreciate? An uncle of mine did this as he was an out of work electrician.

I'm asking family who couldn't afford to give a present to help out with videography, church music, cakes, etc....that way they won't feel embarrassed about not giving a present, and I will get more people involved in our wedding!

Or else, could you postpone the present until you can afford to give a present that doesn't make you feel cheap? A friend of mine who went back to college as a mature student did this, and people were really grateful to get their presents months even years later. Or else she gave a present that was worth €50 or so and explained her situation to people and most were embarrassed that she would go to that effort when she clearly couldn't afford it in the first place. No-one wants to be putting you under pressure.

Would your kids make something? Like, a powerpoint show or a video getting messages from the rest of your family wishing them well, or a photo collage of the couple....there's so many creative ideas out there for kids to get involved, and they'll enjoy that more than going out and buying a €20 teddy!

Appropriate wedding present amount

Comments