Do women pay for sex?

Sealow · 30-03-2014 08:15PM

CK73 wrote: »

Maybe that is a difference. Perhaps the guys are more concerned with finding the woman hot and not thinking about if she fancy's him or not, as long as he can get her to do the deed.

guys?

As a man I can tell you I find sex much more enjoyable when a woman is turned on by me, I'd say that's true for most men. The reason more men pay for sex imo is that it causes more "pain" to a man not to have sex for long durations.

Femme_Fatale · 30-03-2014 08:19PM

But if it's just the physical sensation that's urgently needed (applies to both sexes) easily remedied by yourself.

The Th!ng · 30-03-2014 08:36PM

Does buying a blow-up doll constitute 'paying for sex' ?

Fox_In_Socks · 30-03-2014 08:37PM

The Th!ng wrote: »

Does buying a blow-up doll constitute 'paying for sex' ?

Well, I suppose you would have to buy one.

Renting one would be weird.:pac:

shopaholic01 · 30-03-2014 08:38PM

Fox_In_Socks wrote: »

Well, I suppose you would have to buy one.

Renting one would be weird.:pac:

And stomach churning. :eek:

goose2005 · 30-03-2014 08:39PM

CK73 wrote: »

Do women have the ability to switch off their sexual urges

Yeah, but they have to flick the switch back and forth for ages before the urges go away

Fox_In_Socks · 30-03-2014 08:44PM

shopaholic01 wrote: »

And stomach churning. :eek:

Yerra, a wipe clean and you're grand!

The Th!ng · 30-03-2014 08:44PM

Fox_In_Socks wrote: »

Well, I suppose you would have to buy one.

Renting one would be weird.:pac:

If it was anything like renting a kango hammer from a hire shop there'd be grease and dirt on it and bits missing off of it, too.

Pug160 · 30-03-2014 09:21PM

CK73 wrote: »

I think it would be fair to say that the majority of people that pay for sex appear to be male. Why do you think that is and if I am wrong, then how are they doing it? Do they pay with something other than cash?

Is there a huge imbalance of ratio between men and women and ages?

Do women have the ability to switch off their sexual urges, or are they just better at covering them up? Is it because they simply don't have to pay, as there is always a willing male there to help them out, regardless of how attractive they are?

Discuss...

Very few women have that mentality. There are certain parts of the world where women do pay for it though, I believe. I think I've heard of older French and Italian women who are quite wealthy paying young handsome men for casual sex, although that's just coming from the back of my head somewhere - I forget where I read it.

There have been men who are male model material who have tried to become male escorts and they have failed miserably. In Ireland or the UK it's just not going to happen. There may be some niche markets in certain parts of the world, but that's about as far as it goes I reckon. As far as paying for actual sex goes anyway.

vibe666 · 30-03-2014 09:25PM

Coincidence? :pac:

beks101 · 30-03-2014 09:53PM

dark crystal wrote: »

If the guy doesn't find me sexually attractive, then I wouldn't feel sexually attractive. Sex is all about chemistry and mutual pleasure for me, it's not just about the act itself.

Yeah this. Maybe it's a difference in arousal or something, but sex tends to be far less about the actual physical release for the majority of women I would say, and more to do with the emotional stimuli / build-up / the process of attraction growing by taking in a wide range of factors that many/most men don't need.

It's not a matter of, 'nice ass, let's fcuk' in the same way it typically is for guys - generally speaking of course.

Personally I can't orgasm on tap - if I'm horny it's never a case of give me a penis, any penis - it will usually relate to a specific person I've got a strong attraction to but also emotional connection with.

I could just find some smoking hot guy to screw but it wouldn't be as physically satisfying and always runs the risk of causing more trouble than it's worth if my feelings are engaged - which is what sex usually does for me. No way around it unfortunately.

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

But if it's just the physical sensation that's urgently needed (applies to both sexes) easily remedied by yourself.

Yeah this too. I've never in my whole life found myself in a physical bind where I simply need the release of sex in the way I see with lots of guys - almost as if it's a physical bodily function like going to the bathroom or whatever. And I'd have a pretty healthy sex drive.

Any 'scratch an itch' scenario can be easily resolved as FF mentioned. And in a hell of a more satisfying way than finding a random man with a penis attached and hoping for the best.

I can think of nothing more soul destroying than pulling someone I'm not physically attracted to for a means to an end. In fact I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to get sufficiently turned on to do the deed with someone like that. How does anyone? I don't understand that at all

pajor · 30-03-2014 09:56PM

czechlin wrote: »

As somebody mentioned before, there seems to be a rise of professional women paying for 'escorts' to accompany them to social events etc. How often do the deals include sex I don't know. It all sounds a bit mad to me but I guess it depends on the lifestyle of said people.

Thought I read that somewhere too.

Pug160 · 30-03-2014 10:06PM

beks101 wrote: »

I can think of nothing more soul destroying than pulling someone I'm not physically attracted to for a means to an end. In fact I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to get sufficiently turned on to do the deed with someone like that. How does anyone? I don't understand that at all

I think there's usually some visual attraction. Even in the case of the desperate man who will sleep with anybody, he will probably just focus on a part of her body that turns him on or something. He may even think of someone else. I'm not sure if that's entirely a male thing though. Alcohol can really change things a lot as well. It's certainly no myth.

MS.ing · 30-03-2014 10:06PM

men have sperm on tap, women are supposed to be the filters. the two videos a few pages back show this......or maybe just clever editing

either way its natures way of selecting the best genes for us as a......species to prolong survival of our species

0.2c * flicks*

Sealow · 30-03-2014 10:27PM

beks101 wrote: »

Yeah this. Maybe it's a difference in arousal or something, but sex tends to be far less about the actual physical release for the majority of women I would say, and more to do with the emotional stimuli / build-up / the process of attraction growing by taking in a wide range of factors that many/most men don't need.

It's not a matter of, 'nice ass, let's fcuk' in the same way it typically is for guys - generally speaking of course.

Personally I can't orgasm on tap - if I'm horny it's never a case of give me a penis, any penis - it will usually relate to a specific person I've got a strong attraction to but also emotional connection with.

I could just find some smoking hot guy to screw but it wouldn't be as physically satisfying and always runs the risk of causing more trouble than it's worth if my feelings are engaged - which is what sex usually does for me. No way around it unfortunately.

Yeah this too. I've never in my whole life found myself in a physical bind where I simply need the release of sex in the way I see with lots of guys - almost as if it's a physical bodily function like going to the bathroom or whatever. And I'd have a pretty healthy sex drive.

Any 'scratch an itch' scenario can be easily resolved as FF mentioned. And in a hell of a more satisfying way than finding a random man with a penis attached and hoping for the best.

I can think of nothing more soul destroying than pulling someone I'm not physically attracted to for a means to an end. In fact I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to get sufficiently turned on to do the deed with someone like that. How does anyone? I don't understand that at all

Look at it from an evolutionary perspective, it makes sense for men to suffer as a result of not having sex with a woman for long periods of time. The men who don't suffer aren't as pro active to do something about it and less likely to pass their genes on. It's similar to how you suffer if you don't eat for long periods, the people who didn't suffer died off and didn't pass those non suffering genes on.

Men are in competition with each other evolutionary to pass on more genetic material than the next guy so there needs to strong emotional stimuli as reward and punishment for productive and non productive circumstances/behavours respectively.

eeeee · 30-03-2014 10:54PM

Hmmm I disagree with the earlier pesters saying women are not into having casual sex etc. I think a lot of women have internalized a cultural norm that sex is bad for a woman, ruinous to her reputation etc., so it is therefore held up as precious, a prize to be won, rather than a pleasure to indulge in/a natural behaviour that both sexes have the urge, need and want to equally. This has been perpetuated since the word go, from when you're a young girl all the way up from everywhere, culture, society, media etc. and you can't escape it, but you can pay it no heed whatsoever.

I also think this attitude plays into the lack of acceptance for female masturbation. We all do it, but I know friends that can't countenance it, 'Oh no I ouldn't, I just couldn't'. How do expect a stranger/other person to please you if you don't know how to please yourself?

Again, whilst male masturbation is tacit, with women it is still a bit 'oooh' and perceived by some (NOT all, but some) and in the general media as something exceptional and warrants a mention, and is even fetishised in a way male masturbation is not. So even a woman pleasuring herself is an exceptional even to some degree, where as for a man it is not. Sex becomes about other things rather than just the pure pleasure of it.

There are a million other aspects to this that makes being sexually liberated a much harder place for a woman to be. For example the man who has a lot of casual sex = legend, woman = slut. Still now. It is changing thank fúck but slowly.

**** buddies work a million times better than a one night stand, for physiological reasons more than anything else. The better a guy gets to know a woman's body the better the sex for all concerned! Also sex for a woman is not just about the physical act. Everything that happens in the lead up, (not only the sexy stuff) adds to the arousal so walking in somewhere and paying for it certainly wouldn't do it for me or any other woman I know, although it undoubtedly does for some.

I hope that makes some semblance of sense.

Sleepy · 31-03-2014 12:56PM

beks101 wrote: »

Yeah this too. I've never in my whole life found myself in a physical bind where I simply need the release of sex in the way I see with lots of guys - almost as if it's a physical bodily function like going to the bathroom or whatever. And I'd have a pretty healthy sex drive.

I'd love to see some research into this: is the female sexual appetite biologically different to that of a mans or is society's historical repression of female sexuality so ingrained in our society that it has resulted in women only wanting sex with someone they find attractive as part of a larger package (whether that's a relationship, a buddy relationship or at a minimum, a reciprocation of the attraction they feel).

Any 'scratch an itch' scenario can be easily resolved as FF mentioned. And in a hell of a more satisfying way than finding a random man with a penis attached and hoping for the best.

Honestly, I find it depressing that a vibrating piece of plastic and rubber can be considered to be better at sexually satisfying a woman than a "random" man. It's almost as if vibrators have been utterly fetishised since the appearance of the rampant rabbit in Sex and the City.

Can you imagine if the sex-toy industry were to achieve similar levels of success with products targeted at men? If a toy is ever released that is considered to be more reliable at producing a great orgasm than a random woman, and it gains the same levels of social acceptance as female sex toys have in the past couple of decades, I think we'd see a vastly different world of dating and relationships.

Even just looking at how many posts we see on PI from one member of a couple where the woman is upset at the man's enjoyment of porn, I can't see women ever allowing such a toy to become socially acceptable though. It'd be too much of a threat to their perceived higher status in the world of dating.

Sealow · 31-03-2014 01:05PM

Sleepy wrote: »

I'd love to see some research into this: is the female sexual appetite biologically different to that of a mans or is society's historical repression of female sexuality so ingrained in our society that it has resulted in women only wanting sex with someone they find attractive as part of a larger package (whether that's a relationship, a buddy relationship or at a minimum, a reciprocation of the attraction they feel).

Honestly, I find it depressing that a vibrating piece of plastic and rubber can be considered to be better at sexually satisfying a woman than a "random" man. It's almost as if vibrators have been utterly fetishised since the appearance of the rampant rabbit in Sex and the City.

Can you imagine if the sex-toy industry were to achieve similar levels of success with products targeted at men? If a toy is ever released that is considered to be more reliable at producing a great orgasm than a random woman, and it gains the same levels of social acceptance as female sex toys have in the past couple of decades, I think we'd see a vastly different world of dating and relationships.

Even just looking at how many posts we see on PI from one member of a couple where the woman is upset at the man's enjoyment of porn, I can't see women ever allowing such a toy to become socially acceptable though. It'd be too much of a threat to their perceived higher status in the world of dating.

It's called a fleshlight.

poundapunnet · 31-03-2014 01:12PM

I wouldn't blame it all on SATC/advertising or what have you. I guarantee you most women had a long and satisfying relationship with a detachable shower head before those four fecking eejits ever showed up.

I know you can kind of twist and turn evolutionary psychology to say whatever you want to say, but if you think about it it really doesn't make sense for women to be as sexually driven as men. Pregnancy and childbirth have, for the vast majority of human existence, been very dangerous things, and time-wise even if you survive every round you only get so many in your life. A man has little to lose and a lot to gain by shagging whatever he can, if he's passed his genes on to someone dodgy or someone who's going to die, he can just do it again tomorrow. A woman could die or miss the chance of getting some good genes combined with hers. And the more she has a pre-existing relationship with the male, the less likely he is to bugger off and drastically reduce her chances of surviving pregnancy and the infancy of the offspring.

Sleepy · 31-03-2014 01:16PM

I've honestly not tried one but can an artificial version of female genitalia really give more / better sensation than the real thing?

Isn't a fleshlight more akin to a dildo than a vibrator given that the latter provides additional stimulation that's over and above that which is possible with a real penis?

Femme_Fatale · 31-03-2014 01:18PM

It's not that a sex-toy satisfies a woman more than a man does - obviously.

It's that when you're a single woman and need very basic physical fulfillment, it does the trick. It's obviously no substitute for all the other stuff besides penetration and clitoral stimulation.

Re the shaming of female sexuality thing: meh, I'm genuinely not into regular one-night stands. It's only a very occasional thing for me.
And plenty of men aren't into sticking it into whatever orifice is handy either.

J_E · 31-03-2014 01:25PM

If there was the male version of a rampant rabbit out there, I don't think I'd be out looking for sex half as often!

Let's not make women out to be sexless creatures though...sex is (and shouls always be...!) a mutual encounter. I don't think it's fair to deny that women have sexual desires too - I think it's certainly more hardwired into men due to the body's need to release sperm, but apart from that, it's fair game.

I know plenty of men not into no strings attached sex either. We're not all 'up for it'

Also have to understand in a world where male dominance is still pervasive in almost every aspect of society - of course many women turn to a sex toy at times. A sex toy doesn't complain, try to sweeten you over, cheat on you. It's not a substitute but does the job damn well.

Sleepy wrote: »

I've honestly not tried one but can an artificial version of female genitalia really give more / better sensation than the real thing?

Isn't a fleshlight more akin to a dildo than a vibrator given that the latter provides additional stimulation that's over and above that which is possible with a real penis?

Look up Venus 2000.

strobe · 31-03-2014 01:40PM

Sleepy wrote: »

I've honestly not tried one but can an artificial version of female genitalia really give more / better sensation than the real thing?

Isn't a fleshlight more akin to a dildo than a vibrator given that the latter provides additional stimulation that's over and above that which is possible with a real penis?

There's all sorts of pulsating, vibraring, heated, spinning, flexing, textured, flashing gizmos out there for men now.

But even if one gave a bunch of physical sensations a vagina couldn't and would guarantee me a mind blowing orgasm every time I strapped in, I still wouldn't be choosing it over good sex with a woman. There's way more to sex and a satisfying orgasm and sexual experience than the physical sensation experienced by the penis for me. I'd imagine most men are the same.

Tasden · 31-03-2014 01:40PM

Cydoniac wrote: »

If there was the male version of a rampant rabbit out there, I don't think I'd be out looking for sex half as often!

Let's not make women out to be sexless creatures though...sex is (and shouls always be...!) a mutual encounter. I don't think it's fair to deny that women have sexual desires too - I think it's certainly more hardwired into men due to the body's need to release sperm, but apart from that, it's fair game.

I know plenty of men not into no strings attached sex either. We're not all 'up for it'

I think as well a lot of it is less about whether they have the same desires or not, but more about the attitude or beliefs surrounding their desires. Its "normal" and "accepted" that men like and want sex and don't necessarily equate it with feelings/emotions. The same isn't said for women, even though of course they enjoy and want sex just as much as men. But women are told that it should only be with "the right man" or that if they engage in casual sex its slutty. And while not everyone thinks this way anymore, I think women are less likely to speak openly about it for fear of being judged that way. Not all obviously, but some.

Czarcasm · 31-03-2014 01:41PM

Sleepy wrote: »

I've honestly not tried one but can an artificial version of female genitalia really give more / better sensation than the real thing?

If I could've held myself together long enough to stop laughing, I'd probably have a better answer to that question, but based on very limited empirical evidence, I'm going to say the manufacturers of some sex toys for men have probably never so much as even smelled a woman, let alone got within an asses roar of a vagina! :pac:

Isn't a fleshlight more akin to a dildo than a vibrator given that the latter provides additional stimulation that's over and above that which is possible with a real penis?

You're not restricted to just using your penis though, you've got a whole body of stuff you can use that no rubber or even motorised fcuk will ever compete with!

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

It's not that a sex-toy satisfies a woman more than a man does - obviously.

It's that when you're a single woman and need very basic physical fulfillment, it does the trick. It's obviously no substitute for all the other stuff besides penetration and clitoral stimulation.

The thread is after all asking do women pay for sex, so it'd be remiss of me if I didn't counterpoint an earlier assertion that women somehow lose their sex drive once they're married or in an LTR. Rest of your post is spot on though (as always

)

Re the shaming of female sexuality thing: meh, I'm genuinely not into regular one-night stands. It's only a very occasional thing for me.
And plenty of men aren't into sticking it into whatever orifice is handy either.

Thank fcuk somebody said it! People are allowed have standards, and that would apply equally to both genders, but you just don't hear about women using male escorts so much because as taboo as female escorts are for men, male escorts for women just fcuks up some people's reality altogether

beano345 · 31-03-2014 01:44PM

Wonder if theirs any truth in the picture on this site about the fleshlight or is it a joke

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/view/80617387/

Legs.Eleven · 31-03-2014 02:01PM

Personally speaking, I won't enjoy myself or cum without knowing the man is enjoying himself too and wants to be there, so I couldn't in a million years imagine paying for it. The idea that he's only there because I gave him money would do nothing for me.

As others have said, if I need a sexual release and himself is not about, I have a twiddle.

J_E · 31-03-2014 02:06PM

Tasden wrote: »

I think as well a lot of it is less about whether they have the same desires or not, but more about the attitude or beliefs surrounding their desires. Its "normal" and "accepted" that men like and want sex and don't necessarily equate it with feelings/emotions. The same isn't said for women, even though of course they enjoy and want sex just as much as men. But women are told that it should only be with "the right man" or that if they engage in casual sex its slutty. And while not everyone thinks this way anymore, I think women are less likely to speak openly about it for fear of being judged that way. Not all obviously, but some.

Yeah, sex has had the historical image of being a 'mans conquest' rather than a mutual exchange, as long back as the Bible has been around. It's assumed that 95% of men masturbate, and the other 5% are lying, but actual statistics for female masturbation are scarce or vague, because until the whole Sex and the City image came about, it was still seen as 'dirty'. Woe betide any woman who seeks pleasure for herself, etc. I hope images continue to change in that regard.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joycelyn_Elders#Comments_on_human_sexuality_and_termination

A case study in how unequal things tend to be when women are open about sex in a public light.

beano345 wrote: »

Wonder if theirs any truth in the picture on this site about the fleshlight or is it a joke

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/view/80617387/

Sounds about right! On a semi-related note, I think men should be a bit more sex positive about using toys. It's still seen as a 'perverted' thing to do, which is strange really.

Czarcasm · 31-03-2014 02:45PM

Cydoniac wrote: »

Sounds about right! On a semi-related note, I think men should be a bit more sex positive about using toys. It's still seen as a 'perverted' thing to do, which is strange really.

Matron

strobe · 31-03-2014 02:53PM

As to the question of why a lot more men pay for sex than women, I think it primarily (but along with other factors of course) boils down to the whole aspect of 'feeling desirable' that a sexual encounter provides is a much higher priority for women than men. Both genders want that aspect and enjoy it but its just higher on the list for women in general imo, and paying for sex is devoid of that on the whole.