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My little victim

2456

Comments

  • #32
    jimgoose
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,237 ✭✭✭✭jimgoose


    He should bring whatever damn bag he liks to school, and become versed with the ancient art of a quick hoof to My Little Ballsack.


  • #33
    miss no stars
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,957 ✭✭✭miss no stars


    FullblownRose wrote: »
    Bizarre. This tacit acceptance and even agreement with bullying if your style or actions don't fit with the majority. It's not accetable and no child should have to expect to be bullied and change to try to avoid the attentions of bullies. If most of the children are doing it then most of the children have to be taught not to. There is no excuse and the mums comparison to attitudes around rape and the attitudes around bullying was absolutely on the nail- in no way was she comparing the bullying to rape and you are conflating the two to make her seem silly and dramatic. No parent should have to asess their child for anything that would mark them out as an easy target for others to bully. You need to stop blaming the boy with this bag and start focusing on the kids who are doing the taunting. They are the oes in the wrong , and look at your own sneering attitude to the child's lunchbox. Very, very judgemental. It would seem the child has to learn to repress his own harmless interests because many of you think school is a training ground for kids to grow up knowing that it is fine to be ****ty to others who look or act differently. School should actually be a safe environment free from bullying with no conditions on that safety.If someone at work does not aprove of your hair colour or anything else about you you are protected from your whole office turning against you and your employer has to intervene if they do. Bullying is as random and sensless as that and the onus is not o the child to make sure they stay under bullies radar.

    Nobody is blaming the boy for being bullied, but just saying that he's adding fuel to the fire. Get the bullying under control without the situation going full bloody nuclear, then he can bring in the lunch box and the kids bullying him won't say a word because the bullying has already been dealt with and they know he's off limits.

    But while they're actively trying to get an already bad situation under control?!


  • #34
    Shanotheslayer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,191 ✭✭✭✭Shanotheslayer


    How did his parents not know by giving him a my little pony lunchbox it would just bring hassle? Course it would. So what if he likes it, in about 10 years hes going to regret it especially with this ridiculous campaign.


  • #35
    Sunglasses Ron
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,180 ✭✭✭Sunglasses Ron


    FullblownRose wrote: »
    Bizarre. This tacit acceptance and even agreement with bullying if your style or actions don't fit with the majority. It's not accetable and no child should have to expect to be bullied and change to try to avoid the attentions of bullies. If most of the children are doing it then most of the children have to be taught not to. .

    An attempt to do away with "boys will be boys" if you will. Boys take the piss. Boys brawl and grapple in the playground. 14 yea old boys drag younger ones down th back of the bus and mosh in on him- two years later that victim does the same thing to some younger lad who will follow suit in two years. It is all part of growing up, and has been for generations- what we have left today are lighter versions of how it was done when we were all living in Celtic, tribal warrior society. This politically correct attempt to re wire the psyche of children that has been developing for thousands of years is frankly scary.


  • #36
    Czarcasm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    sheikhnguyen wrote: »
    I think you are missing the point, this should never have happened, the focus is the school not the boy, he is receiving support, the school scorn as it should be. It is unlikely he is even aware of what is happening on the internet or at least the extent of it beyond what he is told by his parents.

    But you should stop focusing on the mother and start focusing on the school for it's neanderthal reaction to his treatment by his peers.

    Grayson has developed a following on Facebook after a friend made a support page for him. Grayson stands by his favorite cartoon and the message he says it sends. His mother says, why not?

    Source: http://www.wlos.com/shared/news/features/top-stories/stories/wlos_-school-bully-concerns-15463.shtml

    And the Facebook page itself -

    https://www.facebook.com/SupportForGrayson

    Please note: This is the Official page for Grayson- run by his parents and friends of the family. Please come here for calls to action and support!

    There are other pages being created by strangers- we hope they have the best intent- but they are asking for people to do things that the family is not in support of at this time. Please continue to check here for the official updates!

    This is also the only page Grayson is checking- so if you want to send him a message- this is the place to do it!


    Completely proportionate response of course.


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  • #37
    BraziliaNZ
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,671 ✭✭✭BraziliaNZ


    My Austrian cousin used to play with MLP, a very odd child he was. Now he's a monk somewhere in the alps and my Auntie would do anything to get him out of there. This should be a warning to the parents of the child in question.


  • #38
    FullblownRose
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,501 ✭✭✭FullblownRose


    Sunglasses Ron wrote: »
    An attempt to do away with "boys will be boys" if you will. Boys take the piss. Boys brawl and grapple in the playground. 14 yea old boys drag younger ones down th back of the bus and mosh in on him- two years later that victim does the same thing to some younger lad who will follow suit in two years. It is all part of growing up, and has been for generations- what we have left today are lighter versions of how it was done when we were all living in Celtic, tribal warrior society. This politically correct attempt to re wire the psyche of children that has been developing for thousands of years is frankly scary.


    Er..that's the cycle of abuse you just described and it's not normal nor healthy part of growing up. We're not warriors this is kids in a school there to learn but not learn you have to take abuse because you are a boy or because the abusers were abused and now its your turn . You dont understand or you are forgetting the difference between bullying and horseplay. We're a modern civilised society not warrior celts.


  • #39
    smoking_kills
    Closed Accounts Posts: 488 ✭✭smoking_kills


    Czarcasm wrote: »
    Source: http://www.wlos.com/shared/news/features/top-stories/stories/wlos_-school-bully-concerns-15463.shtml

    And the Facebook page itself -

    https://www.facebook.com/SupportForGrayson





    Completely proportionate response of course.


    Jesus, i think every social justice warrior on the planet turned up on that Facebook page, some of the comments are unbelievable. I especially like the one where apparently the school is bullying him?????


  • #40
    anncoates
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,925 ✭✭✭✭anncoates


    Sunglasses Ron wrote: »
    An attempt to do away with "boys will be boys" if you will. Boys take the piss. Boys brawl and grapple in the playground. 14 yea old boys drag younger ones down th back of the bus and mosh in on him- two years later that victim does the same thing to some younger lad who will follow suit in two years. It is all part of growing up, and has been for generations- what we have left today are lighter versions of how it was done when we were all living in Celtic, tribal warrior society. This politically correct attempt to re wire the psyche of children that has been developing for thousands of years is frankly scary.

    While I agree to a certain extent that we shouldn't be trying to unduly stamp out boisterousness and iron out gender differences, it also shouldn't be an excuse to allow children to be co-opted into that boisterousness against their will.


  • #41
    Rhotheta
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 233 ✭✭Rhotheta


    The kid needs to learn to make the choices that are in his best interest. That doesn't excuse the bullies though, they need to be punished.


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  • #42
    FullblownRose
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,501 ✭✭✭FullblownRose


    Nor should it be used as a blanket excuse to shirk responsibility for setting a good example to your kids or your students and expect them to be reasonably well mannered Telling a 9 year old boy to kill himself is not normal behaviour and that is apparently not the worst of what was said to this Grayson boy by other children around his own age. That isn't a developmentally normal thing for children of that age to think or to say to another child and it in no way resembles banter, light hearted ribbing or irish style piss taking. Most people know the difference between taking the piss and being deliberately mean and hurtful and that there is a line you don't cross.

    Life choices should never be dictated by the possibility of physical or verbal abuse from others. We should not have to base our decisions on whether others will like them or not (providing our choices aren't harmful to others, of course) This is what the boy is learning because his mum is showing him. This is a positive thing.


  • #43
    CrazyRabbit
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,659 ✭✭✭CrazyRabbit


    h2005 wrote: »
    The parents should have had the cop on to know he'd get slagged for having a lunchbox like that. It's not nice but it's pretty ****ing obvious.

    Yup, and they should make sure he only wears trendy designer clothes, isn't gay, doesn't wear glasses, or isn't shorter than his peers etc.

    People like you are part of the problem. You just don't get it.


  • #44
    Czarcasm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    CrazyRabbit wrote: »
    Yup, and they should make sure he only wears trendy designer clothes, isn't gay, doesn't wear glasses, or isn't shorter than his peers etc.

    People like you are part of the problem. You just don't get it.


    I don't get why you feel the need to insult people to make your point either tbh. But how and ever anyway, people are going to be bullied, it's a fact. It's not nice, but it's a fact. The sensible thing to do is not make yourself any more of a target.

    This isn't Rosa Parks or Harvey Milk type stuff, this is all because the child knowingly makes themselves a target. A person can't change the color of their skin or their sexual orientation. What they can do though, is think about the consequences of their actions, or their parents (Where's the father in this actually?) think about the consequences of their actions for their children.

    If a child insists on making themselves a target, and the parents insist on the child's right to be a target, well, somebody has to step in and let common sense prevail at some point, and in this case the school did the right thing for the sake of the child, even if the parents don't see that. Why would they, their child is now a little celebrity, and child stars always turn out well rounded members of society, right?


  • #45
    Daith
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,399 ✭✭✭Daith


    Czarcasm wrote: »
    If a child insists on making themselves a target, and the parents insist on the child's right to be a target, well, somebody has to step in and let common sense prevail at some point, and in this case the school did the right thing for the sake of the child, even if the parents don't see that.

    The bag isn't the issue. What would happen if the child was bullied because he was fat? Should the school tell him to get liposuction. Or if a child is bullied because they're good in school? Should they do badly on exams?

    Are we really living in a world where the bullies decide how somebody else should live?


  • #46
    urabell
    Closed Accounts Posts: 559 ✭✭✭urabell


    Daith wrote: »
    The bag isn't the issue.it is What would happen if the child was bullied because he was fat? school could ban unhealthy lunches and offer to help educate parents on healthy living choices.Should the school tell him to get liposuction. no Or if a child is bullied because they're good in school? Should they do badly on exams? They should learn to stand up from themselves, parents should instil confidence not pass on the blame

    Are we really living in a world where the bullies decide how somebody else should live? Don't pretend we live in world where we should never have to adjust our behaviour because of the reactions of others

    .


  • #47
    Daith
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,399 ✭✭✭Daith


    urabell wrote: »
    Don't pretend we live in world where we should never have to adjust our behaviour because of the reactions of others

    Could you change your behavior and use the quote system better on this?

    Though I do like the idea that a child being bullied because they're fat means the school should change the lunch menu of the entire school. Go bully power!


  • #48
    urabell
    Closed Accounts Posts: 559 ✭✭✭urabell


    Daith wrote: »
    Could you change your behavior and use the quote system better on this? no

    Though I do like the idea that a child being bullied because they're fat means the school should change the lunch menu of the entire school. Go bully power!No you're right, nothing positive should ever come from bullying. There is just no possible way the school could both improve the student's health and also punish the bullies
    .


  • #49
    Daith
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,399 ✭✭✭Daith


    urabell wrote: »
    Could you change your behavior and use the quote system better on this? no

    So you expect this kid to do something and conform to somebody else's view and you won't do it?


  • #50
    Czarcasm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    Daith wrote: »
    The bag isn't the issue.


    According to everything I've read, including the Facebook page, the bag is very much the issue, or at least, the child's interest in what the bag represents, is the issue.

    What would happen if the child was bullied because he was fat? Should the school tell him to get liposuction. Or if a child is bullied because they're good in school? Should they do badly on exams?


    Those aren't the issues here, there's no evidence to suggest either way that the child is overweight or very clever. I'm sure the school has to handle each situation differently depending on the context. What you're suggesting though are extremes, the very same as the mother associating her child being bullied with rape. It's emotive and certainly makes people sit up, but it trivialises rape.

    Are we really living in a world where the bullies decide how somebody else should live?


    Yes, yes we are, and there are better ways to overcome that than rallying against the people who are trying to do something about it. The mother in this instance should've worked with the school rather than started a media campaign to get validation for her parenting choices.

    We're also living in a world where for some people there is less importance placed on the person, and more importance placed on the issues they represent. That's where the "million likes for a child who thinks they're ugly" stuff comes from. It's utterly meaningless, and it's trivialising the issue of bullying.


  • #51
    Daith
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,399 ✭✭✭Daith


    Czarcasm wrote: »
    According to everything I've read, including the Facebook page, the bag is very much the issue, or at least, the child's interest in what the bag represents, is the issue.

    No the issue is the bullies and their parents being awful parents.


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  • #52
    Mike747
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 383 ✭✭Mike747


    If had a son there's no way I'd let him go into school with a girl's cartoon lunchbox, I'd know full well he'd be bullied. In a perfect world we could all do as we please and not have to face any negative consequences, but the world we live in is neither fair nor nice.


  • #53
    h2005
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,428 ✭✭✭h2005


    CrazyRabbit wrote: »
    Yup, and they should make sure he only wears trendy designer clothes, isn't gay, doesn't wear glasses, or isn't shorter than his peers etc.

    People like you are part of the problem. You just don't get it.
    You know nothing about me. I never mentioned anything about clothes or being gay. I pointed out that by letting the child go to school with the lunchbox left him open as a target. Any parent with a bit of cop on would agree with that. Kids can be very cruel. I never said I agree with them.


  • #54
    conorhal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,096 ✭✭✭conorhal


    Mike747 wrote: »
    If had a son there's no way I'd let him go into school with a girl's cartoon lunchbox, I'd know full well he'd be bullied. In a perfect world we could all do as we please and not have to face any negative consequences, but the world we live in is neither fair nor nice.

    I really don't think some parents understand what ferral sociopaths kids can be. There was a documentary there reciently which was comparing animal behaviours, chimps, like humans don't even develop abstract concepts like a sense of empathy until the age of four.
    Those parents need to understand that school is a bit like prision, on your first day you keep your head down, and for the love of God, don't follow that trail of sweets into the showers.....


  • #55
    Pumpkinseeds
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,635 ✭✭✭Pumpkinseeds


    I don't even know where to start with this one tbh. Lets just skip all the namby pamby he should be allowed to take his my little pony bag to school and forbidding him to do so is anti gay/homophobic/discriminatory/fascist or whatever other label people care to give to it. He's a little boy taking a my little pony bag to school, that is a blatant invitation to bullies to bully him, rightly or wrongly.

    The school is only pointing out the obvious and I'm sure this kid knew he was going to get bullied taking it to school with him. If he wants to get 7 shades of sh*t knocked out of him on a regular basis by bringing it with him, fine, just so long as his parents don't plan on suing the school when he's bullied. Bullying is wrong but it happens and I'm not sure what the mother thinks this petition is going to achieve.

    Ultimately the kid is in for a big let down when Facebook moves on to the next 'victim' and nobody cares about him any longer. Jesus, how did any of us survive childhood without a Facebook campaign behind us? Oh yeah, I remember, it was sensible parents who didn't do idiotic things like allow their kids, boys or girls to take things to school that would make them a blatent target for bullies.

    A little more common sense and a lot less Facebook hysteria would be more practical.


  • #56
    zl1whqvjs75cdy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,041 ✭✭✭zl1whqvjs75cdy


    Indignant parents throwing a strop over criticism shocker.


  • #57
    mickydoomsux
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,287 ✭✭✭mickydoomsux


    People are raising a generation of kids who won't be able to deal with criticism/adversity.

    Anything negative is seen as bullying and everyone gets a medal just for showing up.

    I have friends in their early twenties who fall apart when things don't go their way because they were all told that they were all special little stars.


  • #58
    Czarcasm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    Daith wrote: »
    No the issue is the bullies and their parents being awful parents.


    The issue is bullying then. You can't possibly make any judgement about the other parents involved because there's no mention of them. I'm sure you're all too aware of children that behave like butter wouldn't melt at home, and then behave like little bastards outside the home.

    As for the issue of awful parents, I don't think most parents with an ounce of common sense would encourage their child to seek validation from complete strangers on the internet. Before you know it the child will be filming themselves swallowing used tampons or drinking themselves stupid to get attention, because keeping children happy is more important than instilling them with an ounce of common sense.


    Thankfully most people recognise that discipline and authority are more important to a functioning society than individual expression, and most parents recognise that when their child is being bullied, they work with the school authorities to reach a resolution, thereby showing their child that negotiation and give and take on both sides is key to conflict resolution.


  • #59
    RayM
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,973 ✭✭✭RayM


    Mike747 wrote: »
    If had a son there's no way I'd let him go into school with a girl's cartoon lunchbox, I'd know full well he'd be bullied. In a perfect world we could all do as we please and not have to face any negative consequences, but the world we live in is neither fair nor nice.

    That's a pretty grim message to give to a child: "It's a tough world, kid - blend in or just accept the fact that you're going to be bullied."

    If only there was another solution - like tackling the behaviour of the bullies, rather than forcing their victims to change their behaviour.


  • #60
    Electric Sheep
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,114 ✭✭✭Electric Sheep


    gallag wrote: »
    I think the world would be a worse place if children were repressed from expressing their feelings to a peer doing something completely bat **** crazy, imagine yourself in work being silenced from slagging a coworker for bringing his piece in a mlp lunch box!!! Do we really want the next generation to be so repressed on the humour front? This is a form of darwins law, the slagging is why kids mature and stop playing with toys that are to the point of comedy wrong for their age group!!

    Most Irish "slagging" is just disguised bullying.

    Why would you feel the need to comment in any way on your coworker's lunchbox? Why do you think it's important that you can "slag" him about it?


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  • #61
    Czarcasm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    Electric Sheep wrote: »
    Most Irish "slagging" is just disguised bullying.

    Why would you feel the need to comment in any way on your coworker's lunchbox? Why do you think it's important that you can "slag" him about it?


    Because most people can maintain a sense of perspective which helps them understand the difference between slagging/messing and bullying. Most people don't want to live in a sanitised society where they are forced to be nice to each other.

    Would you like to live in a world where you had to conform to being nice all the time, where you couldn't express your diversity, where everyone behaved exactly the same?

    Have you always been respectful to everyone you've ever met?

    If your free will to ignore somebody was taken away and you were forced to be polite to everyone, is that the society you want to live in?

    It's never going to exist because not everyone is going to like you, and not everyone is going to agree with you. Society is diverse already, and you want society to conform to your ideal? That standard would also apply to you then, and if you want that society, then lead by example, but don't force your ideals on everyone else. That's just bullying people to conform to your ideals so you can be comfortable and rid yourself of your insecurity.

    I'm sure you're familiar with the term 'personal responsibility'.


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