Things I don't get about Irish weddings MOD WARNING POST #322

mrsbyrne wrote: »

I would go further then that and say that the priest should decline your request to officiate at your wedding unless he know you and leave it at that.

I would go further if the couple are Christian but haven't been around for mass as they should have. The priest should ask them to make an effort to turn their life into a more christian way, like attending mass every Sunday for the next year and to show real interest in religion and how this should led their life, like volunteering and praying, stop having premarital sex and things like that. And that only then, the priest would consider marrying them. I wonder how many would start discarding the church wedding idea if something like this was implemented?

Gatica wrote: »

We had something similar. We didn't have the colours but we made the invites rugby themed and the tables were named after his fave players. I decided on almost everything else, so was ok for him to do this.

We'll probably include some small sports themes into ours - both of us are really big into sport and we've been to loads of major events together (Olympics, Euro 2012, multiple Heineken Cup finals etc). Part of who we are and we'd like to celebrate that. It won't be tacky though.

I don't understand why women who normally dress very stylishly go out and buy the horrendous mother of the bride matchy matchy outfits in awful shades of lilac, lavender, blush pink, etc.

And then the ubiquitous fascinator is popped on the head to top the horribleness all off.

BabysCoffee wrote: »

I don't understand why women who normally dress very stylishly go out and buy the horrendous mother of the bride matchy matchy outfits in awful shades of lilac, lavender, blush pink, etc.

And then the ubiquitous fascinator is popped on the head to top the horribleness all off.

And the cost of these outfits 700 or 800 euro in the likes mcilhenney's or Arnotts

Never to be worn again :-(

Gatica wrote: »

It really is a shame that it's considered a shame (no pun intended) to reuse or wear a dress that's been already worn to a wedding. I've two dresses I've worn a couple of times at weddings, but they've been from different groups of friends/family. Most of the time I do feel compelled to get something new. I know it's my own fault for going along with it.

My sister and I share outfits that we buy for weddings. At least they get two wears.

I do try and wear an outfit a few times. It's grand if different people will be at the weddings so nobody will see you in the same outfit.

username123 wrote: »

I know what you mean but I find Im past caring if people see me in the same outfit twice - the recession yada yada yada...

I find if you change your hairstyle, no one notices.

True.

Might take a leaf from your book!

Malari wrote: »

Oh that reminds me...people getting their hair done for weddings is something I don't get. I mean expensive "upstyles" if you are just a guest. I never really do anything for mine.

The way I see it is it's a nice day to look nice. Life is long and bloody boring so if someone wants to get their hair done for a celebration then why not. It's their money.

I would get mine blow dried coz if not it wouldn't last the day and Id look like a haystack by the end of the meal. I'm not into up styles but if I was and I could afford it I'd get it done, if you can't dress up to go to a wedding when can you ?

I know lots of religious people I'd think weren't all that nice, and then atheist people who are kind and generous, everything a christian is supposed to be.
Whatever people proclaim themselves to be in most cases has little bearing on who they actually are...
sure, there's probably exception where there may be tales of someone who went from being a convict to a devout person and how they turned their life around; but for the most part, people are themselves - whether religious or not, and are basically nice or not irrespective of.

This is my opinion on Irish weddings,
I think people start off and they have a general idea what the want.
Most people go for a churchnp wedding because its traditional, nice photos, to keep the parents/grandparents happy for various reasons, I even know of people and they say your not married if you don't get married in a church lots if people actually believe this, another reason people get married in the local church is to get there kids into local primary schools.
Then theres the dressing up part. The media has a huge part to play in this because if the whole dream dress thing and people believe they need the perfect dress to get married in. Sometimes people buy an expensive dress the like because it makes them feel good, will look nice in a few years to come. I don't think there's any point of saving a few hundred euro if you don't like/feel comfortable in the dress. After the day some people hangs onto just to remember the day, some sell it, some people might hold onto it in case there daughter might wear it.( I think it would be very odd to wear your sisters wedding dress.)
Somebody also mentioned mother of the brides outfits often mothers feel under pressure to get something extra special to wear bcuase if they just bought a normal dress there's a good chance a guest might end up wearing it. This would be embarrassing for the mother because she'll feel just like a normal guest/she didn't make enough of an effort. It would also be awkward for the guest. I've feard of this happening a few times and the guest generally went home to change.
As for guests, that's up to the bride and groom. I know I prefer my aunts/uncles to my cousins. You can't really speculate on who people invite to weddings. You've really no idea what kind of relationship they have with there relative's.
Then there's the afters/reception. If you've to make a journey to the venue you have a fear idea your going to be hungry so bring a sandwich or stop off a shop/barrage/petrol station. On arrival you'll be lucky to get a bit of finger food. Even in expensive locations. There'd be no point of having a mini meal because the one later on would only go to waste.
I've worked/know people who worked in some of irelands top hotels at the head chef near always hate the one or two vegetarian option. Its important that you let them know in advance and don't just mention it on the day.
As for giving gifts most people just give money now. I haven't heard of anybody giving toasters/kettles sine early 1990s.

I’m getting married in June. We’re not religious so we won’t get married in a church but we found the strict civil ceremony format a bit impersonal. Basically we’re having a spiritual ceremony that we've written ourselves and that has some special meaning for us. There’s a difference between being non-practicing (or skeptical) and just non-religious (or atheist) though so, when push comes to shove, I think someone who isn't a regular at mass but still has a flicker of belief in them would choose to have a church wedding just in case.

Family is a complicated thing too. Especially if the parents are contributing financially then it might be easier for them for contribute their opinions as well and harder for the couple to shoot them down. It’s easy to just say “oh, don’t listen to them” but it’s not that simple if they’re family.

If the bride has the money for an expensive dress then I don’t see why not. Personally, I didn't pay too much for my dress. I’ll be wearing a short dress that I can dance in and go to the toilet without 3 unfortunate friends having to help me. I did splash on my shoes; they’re bubble-gum scented blue jelly heels with enormous pink hearts on the front. It’s my wedding and my money so I’ll wear whatever crazy shoes I like basically

We’re not counting on gifts from our guests. We saved up for our own wedding and paid for everything ourselves. We’re not rich, both students actually, but we planned this carefully and for a long time. Sometimes the couple take out a loan. Maybe it’s not a great idea but I can appreciate that it really is very expensive to get married and it might take years to save it all up so I don’t really blame someone for taking the loan. If that’s the case then maybe they are hoping for cash instead of gifts to help them pay their loan quicker. That’s not ok but I can understand them wanting to get married even though, really, they can’t afford it.

I know it’s very expensive for guests too particularly if they have to travel. My fiance is Polish and we’re getting married in Ireland so it will be more expensive for those that have to travel to Ireland. We've saved up and made sacrifices elsewhere so we can have an open bar, which we hope will help towards the guest’s overall costs. Our honeymoon is not as important as everyone being able to come and having a good night basically.

We won’t have speeches because it’s true that they’re boring :rolleyes:.

We’ll have food served at our drinks reception, a dessert buffet, 4 course meal, then there’s the cake, french macaron tower, tea/coffee in the evening and snacks and fried food at night. I think that’s all pretty standard these days. I don’t get the complaining about food. I don’t remember ever leaving any wedding hungry.

We’re not trying to do “something different” btw, we just want to be true to ourselves and have a good night basically. Our priorities are good company, good food and good music to kick our heels up to.

Oh, I do complain about the costs sometimes but to be honest I kind of like complaining If I wasn’t complaining about that I’d probably be complaining about something else – the weather most likely. Irish people like to complain.

At the end of the day the couple getting married are supposedly your close friends. If these are people that have been part of your life and supported you over the years then I think you should suck it up and grin through their wedding despite all the stuff you don’t get. If they're not that close then just don't go. Simples.