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Was my comment inappropriate?

24567…30

Comments

  • #32
    Ihatecuddles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,986 ✭✭✭Ihatecuddles


    If I was your wife, I'd be a bit annoyed that you said that. What were you hoping to gain? Let the single men tell her she's beautiful.


  • #33
    Foxhound38
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,547 ✭✭✭Foxhound38


    Rhotheta wrote: »
    I got chatting to a woman who works in my office on a night out. Never spoke to her before, just noticed her gliding around the office. Anyway at one point I told her I thought she was beautiful and if I wasn't married I would attempt to chat her her up. She laughed and we chatted some more before making our way back to our friends. A colleague overheard and thought that comment was innapropriate as I'm a married man.

    What is the opinion of after hours on the matter?

    You're best leaving that kind of commentary on people's attractiveness out of the workplace, OP. You mightn't mean anything by it but it could land you in a world of hurt if it's ever taken up the wrong way by the recipient, and the whisper mill could get you a workplace reputation you wouldn't want your wife to hear about - even if you didn't do anything.

    This specific incident seems harmless enough, but in future I'd keep it professional were I you - it just keeps things simple.


  • #34
    sopretty
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,009 ✭✭✭sopretty


    Red Pepper wrote: »
    You're sopretty.

    Feck off. :D


  • #35
    biko
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 81,060 ✭✭✭✭biko


    "Oh girleen, if I weren't married 30 years I'd chat you up!"

    *awkward laughter*

    "I need to go back to my friends now.."


  • #36
    anncoates
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,925 ✭✭✭✭anncoates


    In itself, it's not a bad thing to say but it is a flirtatious comment (despite the old rhetorical device you used) to a colleague and you're leaving yourself at the mercy of the person it's directed at as to whether it gets picked up the wrong way which is why you shouldn't say it.


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  • #37
    Ihatecuddles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,986 ✭✭✭Ihatecuddles


    sopretty wrote: »
    Feck off. :D

    And modest!! :P


  • #38
    Tiddlypeeps
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,103 ✭✭✭Tiddlypeeps


    I'd think you were a creep if it were me tbh, it'd be pretty uncomfortable. I wouldn't let on and I'd probably laugh it off as it's not a big deal, but I'd still think you are a creep and avoid you from that point on.

    It would be different if you weren't married and were actually trying to pursue a relationship with the woman, it might still be uncomfortable for her if she isn't interested but it's much less creepy than pretty much saying "I'd give you one if I wasn't married".

    Your colleague who passed comment on it afterwards tho should mind their own business (unless they are HR).


  • #39
    Red Pepper
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,567 ✭✭✭Red Pepper


    sopretty wrote: »
    Feck off. :D

    Forget you! :p


  • #40
    sopretty
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,009 ✭✭✭sopretty


    mauzo! wrote: »
    And modest!! :P

    Deluded might be a more accurate description! :D


  • #41
    Rhotheta
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 233 ✭✭Rhotheta


    Obliq wrote: »
    Not sure why you posted the question if you have already determined that it was completely ok to put a work colleague in the position of (potentially, as we don't know) feeling uncomfortable in your company?

    I didn't ask any questions about lecherous gawking.


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  • #42
    Obliq
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,371 ✭✭✭Obliq


    Rhotheta wrote: »
    I didn't ask any questions about lecherous gawking.

    Doh! The question you did ask "Was my comment inappropriate?". From your responses to voices that have said yes, it was, I am asking why you bothered to post the question as it's pretty clear you think it was fine and dandy :rolleyes:


  • #43
    steddyeddy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 27,565 ✭✭✭✭steddyeddy


    B"llox is it inappropriate to tell someone they're beautiful. It's an aesthetic comment rather than a sexual one Imo.


  • #44
    Czarcasm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    Rhotheta wrote: »
    I got chatting to a woman who works in my office on a night out. Never spoke to her before, just noticed her gliding around the office. Anyway at one point I told her I thought she was beautiful and if I wasn't married I would attempt to chat her her up. She laughed and we chatted some more before making our way back to our friends. A colleague overheard and thought that comment was innapropriate as I'm a married man.

    What is the opinion of after hours on the matter?


    Yeah, that was so cringe, no wonder she laughed! :pac:


  • #45
    Obliq
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,371 ✭✭✭Obliq


    steddyeddy wrote: »
    B"llox is it inappropriate to tell someone they're beautiful. It's an aesthetic comment rather than a sexual one Imo.

    If it could put a work colleague in the position of being weirded out in his company, at work, then yes it is.


  • #46
    Rhotheta
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 233 ✭✭Rhotheta


    Obliq wrote: »
    Doh! The question you did ask "Was my comment inappropriate?". From your responses to voices that have said yes, it was, I am asking why you bothered to post the question as it's pretty clear you think it was fine and dandy :rolleyes:

    To see what after hours think out of curiosity.


  • #47
    Rhotheta
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 233 ✭✭Rhotheta


    Obliq wrote: »
    If it could put a work colleague in the position of being weirded out in his company, at work, then yes it is.

    A person thinks another person is attractive. So weird.


  • #48
    Obliq
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,371 ✭✭✭Obliq


    Rhotheta wrote: »
    To see what after hours think out of curiosity.

    Well, I'm sure you'll get plenty of mileage out of it, and a bunch of after dinner conversations.


  • #49
    anncoates
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,925 ✭✭✭✭anncoates


    steddyeddy wrote: »
    B"llox is it inappropriate to tell someone they're beautiful. It's an aesthetic comment rather than a sexual one Imo.

    The old rhetorical device of flirtation that's not flirtation is always amusing.

    "You're a dirty thing and I'd ride you up your Bournville boulevard if I wasn't married with 2 kids".


  • #50
    Rhotheta
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 233 ✭✭Rhotheta


    Czarcasm wrote: »
    Yeah, that was so cringe, no wonder she laughed! :pac:

    It's more interesting than discussing the weather and how busy you are at least.


  • #51
    Red Pepper
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,567 ✭✭✭Red Pepper


    Rhotheta wrote: »
    To see what after hours think out of curiosity.

    Watch out Rhotheta, you have a post count of 10 which automatically makes you a target of post count snobbery. It's a kind of Boards racism.
    I myself think it's a wonderful question.


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  • #52
    Obliq
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,371 ✭✭✭Obliq


    Rhotheta wrote: »
    A person thinks another person is attractive. So weird.

    That's not what I said. You can take it up to suit yourself though, as is your prerogative .


  • #53
    steddyeddy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 27,565 ✭✭✭✭steddyeddy


    Obliq wrote: »
    If it could put a work colleague in the position of being weirded out in his company, at work, then yes it is.

    Maybe but just because someone feels uncomfortable by a comment does mean it's sexual harassment.


  • #54
    Obliq
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,371 ✭✭✭Obliq


    steddyeddy wrote: »
    Maybe but just because someone feels uncomfortable by a comment does mean it's sexual harassment.

    Never said it was, but it's still inappropriate (in my view) to potentially make a work colleague feel uncomfortable around them.


  • #55
    steddyeddy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 27,565 ✭✭✭✭steddyeddy


    anncoates wrote: »
    The old rhetorical device of flirtation that's not flirtation is always amusing.

    "You're a dirty thing and I'd ride you up your Bournville boulevard if I wasn't married with 2 kids".

    Saying someone is attractive girl is not always flirtation. A girl where I work got dumped by her bf and said she felt unattractive. I told her she was a good looking girl. It ws the truth but in know way did I want to ride her or sexually harass her.


  • #56
    Obliq
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,371 ✭✭✭Obliq


    Red Pepper wrote: »
    Watch out Rhotheta, you have a post count of 10 which automatically makes you a target of post count snobbery. It's a kind of Boards racism.
    I myself think it's a wonderful question.

    Didn't notice the post count till you said it, but you're right of course :pac:


  • #57
    steddyeddy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 27,565 ✭✭✭✭steddyeddy


    Obliq wrote: »
    Never said it was, but it's still inappropriate (in my view) to potentially make a work colleague feel uncomfortable around them.

    What makes a work mate uncomfortable? Is there a list of things that people shouldn't say anymore? Can people still call each other beautiful ?


  • #58
    Aint Eazy Being Cheezy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,634 ✭✭✭Aint Eazy Being Cheezy


    "I think your beautiful"

    What are you, gay? Yeh shoulda said "if my missis wasn der I'd bring ya home and givya a lash"


  • #59
    Rhotheta
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 233 ✭✭Rhotheta


    steddyeddy wrote: »
    Maybe but just because someone feels uncomfortable by a comment does mean it's sexual harassment.

    If implying to a woman that I won't have sex with her is sexual harassment then guilty as charged. :D


  • #60
    Czarcasm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    Rhotheta wrote: »
    It's more interesting than discussing the weather and how busy you are at least.


    More interesting to you perhaps, clearly not so interesting to your work colleague.

    steddyeddy wrote: »
    Maybe but just because someone feels uncomfortable by a comment does mean it's sexual harassment.


    It does eddy if the comment was sexual in nature and unwelcome, could very easily have gone south for the OP -
    Rhotheta wrote: »
    Anyway at one point I told her I thought she was beautiful and if I wasn't married I would attempt to chat her her up.

    It was basically a very daft thing to say to a woman he barely knows.


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  • #61
    Obliq
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,371 ✭✭✭Obliq


    steddyeddy wrote: »
    What makes a work mate uncomfortable? Is there a lust?

    Eh? Oh, do you mean that possibly every time that woman is in his presence now, will she be feeling lusted after? That's the danger, I'd say, yes. It could, for some people, make them feel uncomfortable in their place of work. It was an inconsiderate comment, at best.


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