Your most embarrassing sex story

getzls wrote: »

Reminds me of a friend telling me a similar story.

He was getting examined and rose to the occasion and the door opened and in walked a group of medical students.

Bit of sniggering went on, which he didn't mind.
The only problem was one one the medical students was a girl who
lived next door to him.

Had a serious accident in my teens and spent a few months in hospital. The nurses would bring the trolley around to do the bed baths and there was always this fairly large dessert spoon in a plastic tumbler with ice. One day I found out what the spoon was for........no need for violence or striking, just a second of a touch was all that was needed - after that just the sight of the feckin' thing was enough to keep things under control

And this happened to a friend / colleague I worked with.....

Got a phone call one morning asking if I could give him a lift into work as we lived fairly close together. I went and picked him up and saw his car was not in the drive so I asked him if it was in the garage. In the course of the drive to work he explained that he longer had a car it had caught fire.

He offered to give a girl who we worked with lift home the previous evening. He then persuaded her to go for a meal and at the end of the evening he dropped her home, but things got a bot hot and heavy outside her house and in throes of lust someone put their foot on the cigarette lighter and held it there until it began to smoulder......then the dash went up..... then the car went up!

There was an interesting dynamic in the office that morning.

And the real shame was the fact that his car was beautiful, special edition Alfa Romeo!

LexieOnRale wrote: »

He was a special edition Romeo too, getting your one all hot and bothered in the car.

I'd like to think at some point while going at it hammer and tongs, she said "I smell something burning" to which he replied, smugly, "Thanks very much!!"

FizzleSticks wrote: »

Not mine but this made me laugh

http://thoughtcatalog.com/christine-stockton/2013/10/50-people-on-the-most-wtf-thing-someone-did-while-hooking-up/[/QUOTE]

Some good ones on that site actually:

I had sex with a friend from college, middle of the day and before I finished she told me I can cum wherever I want so I came on her face. She swallowed all of it then took out her phone and called her friend and just said “Face, I win” and hung up. I’m still puzzled as to what the **** happened.]

In college I went home after a night of drinking with a random girl from the bar. She told me the next morning that I had passed out on top of her the second after I finished. Apparently she struggled to get out from under the dead weight of my body.

How did I miss this thread?! Some of those are absolutely epic stories!

I couldn't live up to most of those stories but a few of mine:

-Goes down on me, takes it out just as I go off and straight into her ear as shes turning to look at a noise she heard
-In her bed, right in the middle of it, while I'm on top I turn to my left only to see her dog sitting there, looking at us. How we laughed at that!
-Recently in a car park, pitch black, we got intimate :pac: and in the process a chap ran past the car, how weird, thought no more of it. Finished up, started the car, began to drive out. Suddenly, an old fella starts pointing at me and the car. Then out of nowhere a garda car appears, blues and 2's ablaze, blocking the exit and racing out of the car :eek: 2 of us thinking oh sh*t, we've been caught! Turns out the fella who ran past my car was after trying to rob some house nearby and was stumbled upon by the old man, who chased him towards out direction..... Once again, a lot of laughing at the whole thing ensued further down the road :cool:

Ah, good times

Chazz Michael Michaels wrote: »

So, I was with a lady this morning, after the night before. I was feeling a bit "gassy", but we got frisky and started having sex. Through the whole thing, I was holding in a fart, it was a titanic struggle. Cut to the end, the special moment arrives with a rush and as it begins I involuntarily expelled the most ENORMOUS fart, and more followed with each muscle spasm. I tried to cover it up with loud groans, but I definitely couldn't mask it.

She said nothing, but I'm still morto. :-)

Fargasm?

Did you know that the Odeon cinema has little tv screens around the lobby that display infrared footage of all the goings on in the screens? I didn't..... but I do now.

Also, things got a bit carried away in the kitchen one time, hands everywhere. In walk my folks, so we both try to rearrange ourselves as quickly as possible and look like we were just having a casual cup of tea. My dad, being a gent, offered to shake the guys hand and say hello......

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Good lord you know when you get such a fright the blood rushes to your nose and makes your eyes water?! I just got that right there, til I realised its ok we go to IMC

They probably have them there too, I'd be too embarrassed to check. I can never show my face in the Odeon again.

C'mon, who the hell doesn't know wahoolegalage means Wahoo! Legal Age!, this is just another example of your backsliding, backwardsman.