Grown Men who can't drive. Do you find them weird?

zenno · 19-02-2014 10:04PM

Sure I only learned to drive for the first time at age 37. Owning a car and everything that goes with it can be a bit expensive for many, but for me, I just woke up one morning and said, right, that's it, I want to learn to drive so I did and done and passed the theory test and moved on from there.

It's really great having the freedom to drive where I want at any time I want, an extra bit of independence. I'm glad I did learn to drive because it is complete comfort going on your travels. Best thing I ever done.

I don't see a problem regarding other folk at my age or older that don't drive, or can't drive. Some people are just not into it.

super_furry · 19-02-2014 10:05PM

Maybe if you're in the country but I don't think young men living in Dublin often feel the need to drive until they have kids.

somefeen · 19-02-2014 10:07PM

Yep I think its weird.
But in Ireland we have a cultural thing around cars and houses so meh....

Adyx · 19-02-2014 10:29PM

I'm 33 and can't drive. I do have my learners permit but I can't afford the lessons. I don't rely on anyone for lifts either - if they're going my way and offer, grand. But I never ask and usually walk or cycle everywhere. While the bus service in Waterford may not be completely useless, the small number of routes are rarely any use to me. Walking to college takes about 20 minutes and to work 35 so it's not too bad.

Arbiter of Good Taste · 19-02-2014 10:37PM

Fine if you don't need to own a car, but what's stopping you from knowing how to drive? Fine in your 20s when lugging a bag the bus or train station, but 10/20 years down the line it isn't so fun.

And yes, public transport outside of Dublin is rubbish. There is no bus or train to my town so I would never see my folks if I relied on public transport. Whereas it's less than 90 minutes by car from Dublin.

TBH even public transport in Dublin is crap. It takes me 17 minutes to drive to work. If I relied on public transport it would be a 90 minute journey involving 2 buses and a walk. That's not a feasible option.

What really gets my goat is certain non drivers (not all I accept) who have no problem asking for lifts here, there and everywhere, but don't seem to understand the cost of filling a tank...

zenno · 19-02-2014 10:54PM

Arbiter of Good Taste wrote: »

Fine if you don't need to own a car, but what's stopping you from knowing how to drive? Fine in your 20s when lugging a bag the bus or train station, but 10/20 years down the line it isn't so fun.

And yes, public transport outside of Dublin is rubbish. There is no bus or train to my town so I would never see my folks if I relied on public transport. Whereas it's less than 90 minutes by car from Dublin.

TBH even public transport in Dublin is crap. It takes me 17 minutes to drive to work. If I relied on public transport it would be a 90 minute journey involving 2 buses and a walk. That's not a feasible option.

What really gets my goat is certain non drivers (not all I accept) who have no problem asking for lifts here, there and everywhere, but don't seem to understand the cost of filling a tank...

I'd have no problem giving a daily lift for a person to a course or work-place, but if the person wanted a lift every day to the destination and back home within my local area then I would always say... throw a few quid a week in for petrol and were cool. Not much, just a few quid as it saves them standing in the rain or having to walk as well in bad weather so it's only fair, and worth it in my opinion.

Pug160 · 19-02-2014 11:00PM

What are your reasons for thinking it's weird, OP? We do live in a part of the world where it's becoming increasingly important to have a driver's licence. In fact, some people begrudgingly learn to drive because they wouldn't be able to progress in their chosen job/career without being able to drive.

Some probably find it terrifying - men included. I have a friend who drives one of those fancy automatic cars and he looks very uneasy even in one of those. I have heard that some country folk never drive into any big towns or cities. That really limits what you can do. In the future we will probably be driven by robots anyway, so the terrified people can rest easy.

19-02-2014 11:07PM

Pug160 wrote: »

What are your reasons for thinking it's weird, OP? We do live in a part of the world where it's becoming increasingly important to have a driver's licence. In fact, some people begrudgingly learn to drive because they wouldn't be able to progress in their chosen job/career without being able to drive.

I would say that the opposite is true if you live in the right place and do certain IT related jobs. Also for a lot of the lower paid jobs, it is assumed that you won't be able to afford to run a car (on what they pay) and some companies run buses for that very reason.

whirlpool · 19-02-2014 11:14PM

Duracell Bunny wrote: »

Not really. A car is a constant drain on your finances, and if you were living and working in a town, where you could walk to shops/doctors/work/kids schools etc then why bother running a car?

If I could do without one I would.

That's the answer to "Do you find it weird if a grown man doesn't have a car?" when the question was "Do you find it weird if a grown man doesn't know how to drive a car?"

whirlpool · 19-02-2014 11:15PM

Anyway, yes I find it weird when grown adults can't drive, full stop. Male or female.

Pug160 · 19-02-2014 11:17PM

Deleted User wrote: »

I would say that the opposite is true if you live in the right place and do certain IT related jobs. Also for a lot of the lower paid jobs, it is assumed that you won't be able to afford to run a car (on what they pay) and some companies run buses for that very reason.

The opposite of what I said would mean it would be important to not be able to drive or have a car. That is not logical. The important part is the licence itself, although in many cases having your own transport is essential. The bottom line is that not being able to drive limits what you can do in many areas of your life, and that's obviously not a situation most people want to be in.

zenno · 19-02-2014 11:20PM

whirlpool wrote: »

Anyway, yes I find it weird when grown adults can't drive, full stop. Male or female.

Some of these adults are probably more into cycling as it is excellent exercise. Everyone to their own as there are a lot of reasons why grown adults don't drive, or want to drive.

The Clown Man · 19-02-2014 11:36PM

Not being able to drive = burden on others.

Anyone I've known who doesn't drive FREQUENTLY need lifts here there and everywhere, usually at the inconvenient times, because they can't bloody drive themselves, and it's urgent.

They also assume the "you have to call to me cause I don't drive" at every possible turn because "it's 5 minutes for you and 50 for me".

The fact that all of this only becomes truly apparent to a person AFTER they start driving (when they suddenly realise that it's not just popping into a comfy chair for 30 mins) doesn't help.

If you don't drive you rely on others far too much without even realising it.

And that sucks.

Jonny Blaze · 19-02-2014 11:43PM

Grown men don't drive... they fight weasles..

Jonny Blaze · 19-02-2014 11:46PM

Or just fly planes and throw women out of them...

hoodwinked · 19-02-2014 11:49PM

no, you should learn to drive when you want to learn to drive,

some people don't want to drive at all, some people just wait until they can learn for whatever reasons,

its none of my business and i don't think people are weird just because they haven't acquired a particular skill, i cannot sew, does that make me weird?

Pug160 · 19-02-2014 11:49PM

I wouldn't recommend getting into a discussion with a friend about why he or she doesn't drive. I've tried it, and it just comes across as patronising, especially if they're defensive. As human beings, we have a terrible tendency to be in denial about certain things - we all have our own little in denial moments. The best thing to do is just encourage others and wait for them to want to do something themselves. People like to make all sorts of excuses but they'll do it in the end if they really have the desire.

Jonny Blaze · 19-02-2014 11:52PM

I find it weird if a grown man can't build his own car...

Sure how can ye call yourself a man at all like?

angeline · 19-02-2014 11:52PM

I'm afraid I do find it odd. I had an ex who did not drive, showed no interest in it, does not live in a city. He lives at home with his mother who drives him to work in the morning...

Amirani · 19-02-2014 11:52PM

Pug160 wrote: »

The opposite of what I said would mean it would be important to not be able to drive or have a car. That is not logical. The important part is the licence itself, although in many cases having your own transport is essential. The bottom line is that not being able to drive limits what you can do in many areas of your life, and that's obviously not a situation most people want to be in.

That's not the case. The opposite of "is becoming important" is "is not becoming important" (rather than "is becoming important to not drive").

Edit: On second thoughts, this is incorrect and your initial assertion was correct. Whether or not it is reality is another thing.

Whether it is actually "essential" very much depends on what industry you work in.

Femme_Fatale · 19-02-2014 11:57PM

hoodwinked wrote: »

i cannot sew, does that make me weird?

Not comparing like with like.

I don't find it weird but for certain situations from a certain point in life onwards, it can cause restrictions on independence, and can inconvenience others too.

Sir Arthur Daley · 19-02-2014 11:57PM

In rural areas most men drive as it essential, in cities and big towns where public transport networks are available i imagine alot of men cant drive, i dont find these people weird as its the way they grew up with the transport they have.

Pug160 · 20-02-2014 12:00AM

NiallSparky wrote: »

That's not the case. The opposite of "is becoming important" is "is not becoming important" (rather than "is becoming important to not drive"), as dolanbaker said.

Whether it is actually "essential" very much depends on what industry you work in.

I still stand by what I typed, pedantry aside. It is more important nowadays, generally speaking. There may be instances where it's not important, but it certainly limits your career options and in some cases, quality of life. By the way, you might want to read my other post again, as I didn't say it was essential for every job. You're not as clever as you obviously think you are.

ixoy · 20-02-2014 12:02AM

Nope, don't drive. I'm working in the city centre and living near it so I can walk in without getting stuck in traffic or take (fairly) decent public transport.

Parents are also fairly easy to get to - it's only my sister where it'd be a bit more convenient if I had a car but the cost of it would be very high. Still thinking about it though because at times it can be a bit frustrating (and I rarely do call on lifts from other people as I don't want to put them out).

Lawrence1895 · 20-02-2014 12:05AM

Don't need a car to be happy...because it makes me happy to be on the bike, passing by all those, who think a car means freedom and independence, and who are stuck in traffic

Yep, it sounds mean, so my apologies, if I offend somebody

Femme_Fatale · 20-02-2014 12:08AM

Lars1916 wrote: »

Don't need a car to be happy...because it makes me happy to be on the bike, passing by all those, who think a car means freedom and independence, and who are stuck in traffic

It means freedom to travel longer distances whenever it suits, and in all weathers, and being able to stop when you feel like it, and being able to carry lots of stuff that you wouldn't be able to on a bike.

Greyfox · 20-02-2014 12:11AM

whirlpool wrote: »

Anyway, yes I find it weird when grown adults can't drive, full stop. Male or female.

I think they should get a gold medal for been smart enough to realise the huge amount of money they can save by skipping one life skill that they don't need, especially if for them theirs zero large benefits to been able to drive.

Pug160 wrote: »

not being able to drive limits what you can do in many areas of your life

For some people yes but for a lot of people like myself this is not true, if I owned a car now it would not make my life any better.

Owning a car is a riddiculous waste of money for a lot of people, at 33 I've never needed a car as I live and work close to the city centre. I find public transport in Dublin is excellent and cycling is very underratted. If ever I needed to get somewhere quicker theirs always a taxi.

delw · 20-02-2014 12:11AM

I have a full licence to drive & a car sitting there since last May but unfortunately i can't due to medical issue,i may never again.Have to say i do miss it but can understand people not wanting to

Lawrence1895 · 20-02-2014 12:15AM

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

It means freedom to travel longer distances whenever it suits, and in all weathers, and being able to stop when you feel like it, and being able to carry lots of stuff that you wouldn't be able to on a bike.

Got your point there, I suppose, every means of transport has it's ups and downs...but when it comes to commuting within a certain area (such as Dublin), the bike has some certain advantages

nlgbbbblth · 20-02-2014 12:15AM

Yes.

I was one of them. Didn't start driving properly until I was 37 and passed my test on the third attempt last April.

I should never have left it so long. I got a couple of lessons when I was 17 but never followed it up. Too many years spent waiting for buses.

Better late than never though.

Grown Men who can't drive. Do you find them weird?

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