Weird school talks.

The Princess Bride · 18-02-2014 12:53PM

Mariasofia wrote: »

Anyone remember the crowd that used to come and you would have to strip and they would weigh and measure you and check your ears and eyes and stuff???? :O
Anyone??

That was primary school.Public Health Nurses.

Richard tea · 18-02-2014 01:01PM

The usual - talks on drugs and alcohol. But a strange one happened in Transition year. A bloke came in to talk to us about cot deaths. I cant remember bow if he was head of some cot death group or just doing it off his own steam. He lost a child himself to cot death. Very odd

dilallio · 18-02-2014 01:02PM

Did anyone else have the anti-abortion crowd visit with a foetus in a jar. Gave me nightmares for months. Bastards :mad:

The Pheasant2 · 18-02-2014 01:23PM

ivytwine wrote: »

a guy who had never had sex but became addicted to porn. Everyone sat there thinking "Loser!" I'm sure.

I think I had that guy too! Lanky weird fella he was - haha one of the lads asked him about masturbation and he got really angry, said it killed your relationship with God. And then he started crying! That was really weird...
He did the talk with this little Scottish fella who told us condoms only worked 1time in 6 and he made us come up and roll a big dice - if you rolled a 6 it meant you'd have become a father. Awful load of ****e they were talking

Haha there was an upside though; the teachers found out yer man started crying and our year weren't allowed get talks anymore

Mr Freeze · 18-02-2014 01:26PM

dilallio wrote: »

Did anyone else have the anti-abortion crowd visit with a foetus in a jar. Gave me nightmares for months. Bastards :mad:

That shouldn't be allowed. Bloody hell.

Mr Freeze · 18-02-2014 01:50PM

Mariasofia wrote: »

Anyone remember the crowd that used to come and you would have to strip and they would weigh and measure you and check your ears and eyes and stuff???? :O
Anyone??

Oh ya, that was weird. Definitely happened. You had no idea what was happening, and you would hear stories of lads that fainted, and see them being carried out in their under wear.

And the dentists that would give ya sh1tty fillings when ya didn't need them.

ivytwine · 18-02-2014 03:11PM

The Pheasant2 wrote: »

I think I had that guy too! Lanky weird fella he was - haha one of the lads asked him about masturbation and he got really angry, said it killed your relationship with God. And then he started crying! That was really weird...
He did the talk with this little Scottish fella who told us condoms only worked 1time in 6 and he made us come up and roll a big dice - if you rolled a 6 it meant you'd have become a father. Awful load of ****e they were talking

Haha there was an upside though; the teachers found out yer man started crying and our year weren't allowed get talks anymore

Yeah that was definitely him! He was very strange... Didn't cry at us but was shaking and visibly upset/angry the whole way through!

Myself and my friend asked him loads of stupid questions and I think he was on the verge of tears at points, for no discernible reason.

Our theory was the porn-addict part of himself couldn't handle being in a room full of schoolgirls, but clearly it was a general issue!

danniemcq · 18-02-2014 03:19PM

we had the canadian group that talked about abstenance and the whole wait till you are married thing.

Didn't really work.

But in fairness we did spend most of the time listening for "about"

Ice Storm · 18-02-2014 03:39PM

We had a doctor talk to us about smoking when we were in 5th year (all girls school). At that age it was a bit late for that particular talk as there were already plenty of smokers in the class.

Then at the end of the talk he asked if we had any questions. There were none so he decided that we were too shy so he would address the question he thought we would like to ask: "when should I have a smear?"

Who in their right mind would have asked him that after a smoking lecture???

He proceeded to talk about smears for the next while. I have still no idea what the point of it all was!

18-02-2014 04:01PM

Ice Storm wrote: »

He proceeded to talk about smears for the next while. I have still no idea what the point of it all was!

All doctors are obsessed with smears
Hello doctor I'm here for this annoying chest infection
Okay but are your smears up to date

Tombo2001 · 18-02-2014 04:09PM

sadie06 wrote: »

We had Father Michael Cleary breeze in, leather coat tails blowing behind him, to give us fifth years a talk, also with no teachers present. I remember him trying his best to shock us, telling us to look around, that 'at least 10 people here are gay, 4 will be pregnant before they leave school, 15 will become drug addicts', etc.

He was on such an ego trip, and spent most of the time basking in his own 'coolness'. It makes me shudder to think about it.

We had that guy in as well, to talk about vocations.....

I still remember the line (and this is quote unquote).

"people think priests dont have sex. but its not true. we have sex with god".

All that was missing was the music out of Psycho......

Mr Freeze · 18-02-2014 04:11PM

Tombo2001 wrote: »

We had that guy in as well, to talk about vocations.....

I still remember the line (and this is quote unquote).

"people think priests dont have sex. but its not true. we have sex with god".

All that was missing was the music out of Psycho......

Someone should have told him, thats just a wet dream.

CrazyRabbit · 18-02-2014 05:00PM

Mr Freeze wrote: »

That shouldn't be allowed. Bloody hell.

My Christian Brothers school went one better. They showed us a video of an abortion. You could see the fetus trying to move away from the invading suction tubes, and then being torn apart piece by piece.

I think everyone left that day as a pro-lifer.

The Diabolical Monocle · 18-02-2014 05:01PM

In biology class we started getting the whole reproductive talk.
Of course if you were to laugh in such a class it would be a sure sign of immaturity among your peers, only a naive unsophisticated halfwit would giggle.

I was falsely accused of laughing at the vagina, in a vindictive calculated and totally unjustified move by a cnut who thought he was something special, ( a cnut with byed blonde hair too) I know I'd kick his ass if I saw him these days. Resulting in ME being accused of immaturity while the real perpetrator that was that little weasel cnut got away with it.

Still bitter about it to this day.

OldNotWIse · 18-02-2014 05:11PM

dilallio wrote: »

Did anyone else have the anti-abortion crowd visit with a foetus in a jar. Gave me nightmares for months. Bastards :mad:

I thought I had it bad with a video of a late term abortion.

18-02-2014 05:13PM

OldNotWIse wrote: »

I thought I had it bad with a video of a late term abortion.

One popular one doing the rounds was later admitted to be a fake for propaganda
"silent scream" or something

OldNotWIse · 18-02-2014 05:14PM

CrazyRabbit wrote: »

My Christian Brothers school went one better. They showed us a video of an abortion. You could see the fetus trying to move away from the invading suction tubes, and then being torn apart piece by piece.

I think everyone left that day as a pro-lifer.

Ours showed the pieces laid out afterwards - bits of body all over the place that had to be accounted for . Like a disturbing version of mr Potato Head. I'm pro life but if I found out someone had shown that sh1t to my child I'd go fuucking mental and they'd be outta that school straight away. Weirdly, it wasnt that long ago..I left in 2002 so this would have been maybe 2000?

18-02-2014 05:23PM

We had the chastity crowd once in secondary school, shower of idiots.

We used to have a man visit us in primary school every so often, John the barber. He loved animals and nature, he'd come in and talk to our class about some aspect of nature or animals for an hour or so, often with a falcon or hawk or some other random animal he was nursing back to health with him. Then he'd ask us questions and if you got one right he'd pull out a lollipop from a seemingly never ending array of pockets and reward you with it. He must have walked around with about 20 lollipops on him at all times. It was a great day in class to see him arrive, good doss, and he was really informative. He died last year, nice man, terrible barber though.

kylith · 18-02-2014 05:26PM

CrazyRabbit wrote: »

My Christian Brothers school went one better. They showed us a video of an abortion. You could see the fetus trying to move away from the invading suction tubes, and then being torn apart piece by piece.

I think everyone left that day as a pro-lifer.

Was it Silent Scream? We were made watch that in 4th year. I think everyone walked out of the room pro-life, but I'm definitely pro-choice these days.

I still can't believe that they showed us a video of what they considered a murder without parental permission.

sabat · 18-02-2014 05:30PM

Had this really camp guy from Cork who had a real 80's gay look to him (leather waistcoat, paisley shirt, ratty 'tache) talking to us about his life with HIV. For a room full of 16/17 year old lads, the atmosphere was surprisingly respectful, mainly because he was very funny and self-deprecating, but I'll always remember the face of the religion teacher turning a particular shade of puce as he talked about lying naked in bed with one boyfriend tyring to figure out which previous instance of casual gay sex gave him HIV.

rustedtrumpet · 18-02-2014 05:53PM

We had some American priest come in with a briefcase who gave us some sort of religious lecture, then handed out small well presented leathercased editions of the New Testament. Cue him leaving the room, and between the time it took the teacher to return into the class the bibles were being launched around the classroom and out the window in a frenzy. One lad down the back also rolled a spliff with one of the ultra thin papers from it and smoked it behind the gym at lunchbreak. Gas

LoganRice · 18-02-2014 07:29PM

Not so much a talk, but last year our Irish class got a pro-choice comprehension detailing all of the positives for some Gaeilge practice. I think this was wrong because it ought to have given an argument in favour of pro-life, but that doesn't necessarily reflect my own views on abortion.

orangesoda · 18-02-2014 07:46PM

You seem to have a problem with 'nordies' fellow?

I enjoyed my school talks, we had sevetal talks from Mickey Harte, one was a few days after the all ireland final, also talks from 'jedi jim' before he made an appearence on the apprentice.

Memories · 18-02-2014 09:15PM

I went to that sellotape workshop, needless to say the religion teacher that brought us was not notified of the nature of the talk, and nearly died sitting in her seat. Keeping in mind she is one of those folks who turns off coronation street if it gets in anyway "rowdy" not that it could be...We just thought we were going to get out of school for a day of "reflection" :L

I was one of the sellotape girls, completely against my will. It was very much they chose the girls and the one boy and you had no real option, It was the most uncomfortable I have ever been in my life and not just because you were being sellotaped to a completely random male stranger. They then went onto show a scene from Twilight where Edward says that he wants to wait.

It won't be a day I'll forget in a hurry.

Waitsian · 18-02-2014 09:51PM

Ghost Buster wrote: »

...was reminded of a similarish event back in my school days back in the late 80's.

Then he got onto the presence of SATAN in rock music ranted about Heavy Metal gigs with teenagers making the DANGEROUS horns of Horus sign, played some records backwards for us so that , as he insisted,we could hear the subliminal messages in them asking us to worship Satan and commit suicide.

I remember something very similar happening when I was at school. I don't remember much about the guy but there were a group of us, probably between 14-16, and we were brought to the gym. This fella was up on stage and kept playing records backwards and warning us off the devil's music ie heavy metal. I was at a CBS school in Newry, and this would have been mid-80s. Same guy as you encountered? Likely I'd say. For the record we all just laughed at him. Feckin' nutter.

Butterface · 18-02-2014 10:04PM

Bosco came and did a show in my primary school. He/she talks weird. It was loads of craic from what I remember!

nicowa · 18-02-2014 10:32PM

We had a guy come in to talk about how he "returned to Jesus". This guy was huge, 6 foot something and built like a tank and talking about how he was in a gang in London and used to kneecap people (but the Jesus came and put his hand on his head- and he had to wipe the hair gel off his hand at this point. Yes, he had just put his hand out onto some young lads head...)

It was the most respectful I'd ever seen my class (ie scared sh!tless...)

We also had a chastity group. One of the guys admitted to date raping his girlfriend... And like someone said earlier, too little, too late (in 5th year). For a rural secondary school we'd already had our fair share of teenage pregnancies (2 at 16, 1 at 13 - all in the same 12 mths weirdly).

cletus van damme · 18-02-2014 10:39PM

sabat wrote: »

Had this really camp guy from Cork who had a real 80's gay look to him (leather waistcoat, paisley shirt, ratty 'tache) talking to us about his life with HIV. For a room full of 16/17 year old lads, the atmosphere was surprisingly respectful, mainly because he was very funny and self-deprecating, but I'll always remember the face of the religion teacher turning a particular shade of puce as he talked about lying naked in bed with one boyfriend tyring to figure out which previous instance of casual gay sex gave him HIV.

We had him talk to us too - I think.
the bizarre thing was he was doing these speeches around the country but hadn't told his parents in cork he was gay or had HIV.

i remember thinking "dude, ireland is small somebody is gonna tell them if you keep at this "

Polka_Dot · 18-02-2014 11:02PM

Had a talk in transition year (not that long ago) from an Israeli woman spouting pro-Israel propaganda. It was bizarre. The talk basically boiled down to "Israel's not so bad, look, we do the same things as you do!" as she showed us the top charts in Israel at the time proving that they also like the same music etc. She mentioned the fact that they have to join the army once you reach a certain age but was singing the praises of military life, even showed us a video montage of her and her army friends set to the Friends theme tune. One of the teachers had been bemused by the whole thing and decided to ask her something about Palestine, can't remember what exactly the question or answer but I do remember that she was very anti-Palestine. Extremely strange talk.

FizzleSticks · 18-02-2014 11:44PM

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Weird school talks.

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