Weird school talks.

Ghost Buster · 18-02-2014 10:51AM #1

I read this the other day and was reminded of a similarish event back in my school days back in the late 80's.
A Nordy (relevant cos they are usually waaaaaaaay more fire n brimstoney than us freestaters) ex rock musician was allowed access to my class, with no teacher present.
He started off calmly enough telling us of his past playing with Van Morrison and Rory Gallagher and battles with drink, drug and infidelity and the usual hedonistic 'life on the road' stuff.
Then he got onto the presence of SATAN in rock music ranted about Heavy Metal gigs with teenagers making the DANGEROUS horns of Horus sign, played some records backwards for us so that , as he insisted,we could hear the subliminal messages in them asking us to worship Satan and commit suicide.
He produced a Motley Crue teddy
with the DEVIL hand sign and he proceeded to rub the pile in the teddys fur which again as he insisted, if viewed in the correct light showed the numbers 666.
Then he finished in a frothy mouthed spittle spattered frenzy in warning us of the evil homosexuals prevalent in rock music name checking Culture Club but reserving his ire for Queen who attempted to hide their 'queerness' by playing manly rock music!!!!!!!!!
I reckon if this happened now it would cause a social media storm.
Any other 'auld stock' have similar stories?

anncoates · 18-02-2014 10:53AM

wtf

Ghost Buster · 18-02-2014 10:59AM

anncoates wrote: »

wtf

Yeah. My school was kinda progressive and into letting people in to talk to the classes. Often had harmless yet interesting stuff like an Aboriginie woman who came in and spoke of her culture and play didgeridoo for us and The Reduced Shakespere Company came in and rapped the entire works of Shakespere for us.....that sort of sthick but they didnt practice much vetting...obviously!

whitewave · 18-02-2014 11:00AM

And here I thought getting shown a load of pictures of STI-ridden genitals was a weird school talk...

18-02-2014 11:08AM

We had a woman come in to speak to us about grooming (all girls school), no warning she was coming at all. She started off inoffensively enough, talking about polishing shoes and makeup and other crap, and then - BAM! - she hit her stride with tampons. By god, that woman had a problem with tampons.

Tampons are the work of the devil, robbing your virginity and getting you used to inserting 'stuff'. They're part of a liberal agenda that makes innocent young girls think that inserting objects other than your husbands willy on your wedding night is ok. Well, it's most definitely NOT ok. Once you've used a tampon, you're not a virgin anymore and you can never have that hymen back you know. And what happens if you forget to remove it? Well you die, basically. And you'd deserve to. Tampons also stretch your vagina, reduce sensation, and cause mood swings. This went on, without repetition, for about ten minutes, until she was frothing at the mouth like a Westboro preacher in an abortion clinic.

If you'd panned a camera across the classroom you'd have seen a sea of 17 year old faces with their jaws on the floor. The teacher didn't believe us when she came back in. One girl started crying.

This wasn't in Holy Catholic Ireland either. Weirdest school day of my life.

OldNotWIse · 18-02-2014 11:13AM

We had a pro-life talk where they showed us a video of a late term abortion and afterwards gave us all little pins in the shape of a pair of babies feet, the size they would be at 4 months gestation. Scarred me for life

I would put my staunch pro-life stance down to this early indoctrination...but then I saw a girl from my class on the box a while ago with a megaphone shouting about being pro-choice

Very disturbing altogether. We also had a weirdy video called "I want to be your Friend" whose catchphrase was "No Touching Under Clothes"

Ghost Buster · 18-02-2014 11:13AM

Candie wrote: »

We had a woman come in to speak to us about grooming (all girls school), no warning she was coming at all. She started off inoffensively enough, talking about polishing shoes and makeup and other crap, and then - BAM! - she hit her stride with tampons. By god, that woman had a problem with tampons.

Tampons are the work of the devil, robbing your virginity and getting you used to inserting 'stuff'. They're part of a liberal agenda that makes innocent young girls think that inserting objects other than your husbands willy on your wedding night is ok. Well, it's most definitely NOT ok. Once you've used a tampon, you're not a virgin anymore and you can never have that hymen back you know. And what happens if you forget to remove it? Well you die, basically. And you'd deserve to. Tampons also stretch your vagina, reduce sensation, and cause mood swings. This went on, without repetition, for about ten minutes, until she was frothing at the mouth like a Westboro preacher in an abortion clinic.

If you'd panned a camera across the classroom you'd have seen a sea of 17 year old faces with their jaws on the floor. The teacher didn't believe us when she came back in. One girl started crying.

This wasn't in Holy Catholic Ireland either. Weirdest school day of my life.

Jaysas!!!!!!!

Only a few years ago I went to a talk on organic food and diet etc in the local library (de missus is into it:o). Again it was all quite calm until the woman suddenly shifted gear and went into the dangers of microwaved food and how, amongst other things it MIGHT be responsible for this current trend with men thinking their women and homosexuals and cross dressers. A few of us, myself included walked out.

ivytwine · 18-02-2014 11:14AM

I think we had that group that's mentioned that Journal article- the sellotape rings a bell.

Anyway, we had two of those chastity groups, one in first year and another in fifth or sixth year. Our school was VERY religious. I remember the one in LC had a girl who claimed she was a born again virgin (!) and a guy who had never had sex but became addicted to porn. Everyone sat there thinking "Loser!" I'm sure.

They definitely went on about sellotape, and I think the woman put the sellotape on herself but not us. They played the Armin van Helden song 'Another Love' saying it was about how empty life is with meaningless sex (empty- and AWESOME!

)

Anyway, it was totally useless as one of the girls in the class already had a baby and none of the rest of us gave a ****.

In fifth year we got a talk from the local sexual health clinic who basically got in under false pretences. The woman made our teacher leave the room, locked the door, covered up the panel window and showed us how to put on a condom on a model penis- what a legend

Our religions teacher (a nun) was fuming afterwards!

Ihatecuddles · 18-02-2014 11:14AM

Candie wrote: »

We had a woman come in to speak to us about grooming (all girls school), no warning she was coming at all. She started off inoffensively enough, talking about polishing shoes and makeup and other crap, and then - BAM! - she hit her stride with tampons. By god, that woman had a problem with tampons.

Tampons are the work of the devil, robbing your virginity and getting you used to inserting 'stuff'. They're part of a liberal agenda that makes innocent young girls think that inserting objects other than your husbands willy on your wedding night is ok. Well, it's most definitely NOT ok. Once you've used a tampon, you're not a virgin anymore and you can never have that hymen back you know. And what happens if you forget to remove it? Well you die, basically. And you'd deserve to. Tampons also stretch your vagina, reduce sensation, and cause mood swings. This went on, without repetition, for about ten minutes, until she was frothing at the mouth like a Westboro preacher in an abortion clinic.

If you'd panned a camera across the classroom you'd have seen a sea of 17 year old faces with their jaws on the floor. The teacher didn't believe us when she came back in. One girl started crying.

This wasn't in Holy Catholic Ireland either. Weirdest school day of my life.

You should write a book

that was brilliant!!!

We had the opposite, our home ec teacher told us to never use pads. You're basically spreading it around your vagina and bum and sitting in it all day! The blokes went an awful shade of white.

18-02-2014 11:18AM

Ghost Buster wrote: »

Jaysas!!!!!!!

Only a few years ago I went to a talk on organic food and diet etc in the local library (de missus is into it:o). Again it was all quite calm until the woman suddenly shifted gear and went into the dangers of microwaved food and how, amongst other things it MIGHT be responsible for this current trend with men thinking their women and homosexuals and cross dressers. A few of us, myself included walked out.

It was only ten years ago too

Your talk sounds familiar. I've a friend who won't even eat a chinese meal because only chinese digestive systems have evolved to eat chinese food, and westerners should only eat Western food. She was confused when I broke the news to her about potatoes. She won't microwave either, because it's radiation and all radiation is bad. She's not very clever.

Wait until I tell her there's a gay connection, it'll blow her mind because she'll probably believe it!

D1stant · 18-02-2014 11:20AM

Ghost Buster wrote: »

I read this the other day and was reminded of a similarish event back in my school days back in the late 80's.
A Nordy (relevant cos they are usually waaaaaaaay more fire n brimstoney than us freestaters) ex rock musician was allowed access to my class, with no teacher present.
He started off calmly enough telling us of his past playing with Van Morrison and Rory Gallagher and battles with drink, drug and infidelity and the usual hedonistic 'life on the road' stuff.
Then he got onto the presence of SATAN in rock music ranted about Heavy Metal gigs with teenagers making the DANGEROUS horns of Horus sign, played some records backwards for us so that , as he insisted,we could hear the subliminal messages in them asking us to worship Satan and commit suicide.
He produced a Motley Crue teddy
with the DEVIL hand sign and he proceeded to rub the pile in the teddys fur which again as he insisted, if viewed in the correct light showed the numbers 666.
Then he finished in a frothy mouthed spittle spattered frenzy in warning us of the evil homosexuals prevalent in rock music name checking Culture Club but reserving his ire for Queen who attempted to hide their 'queerness' by playing manly rock music!!!!!!!!!
I reckon if this happened now it would cause a social media storm.
Any other 'auld stock' have similar stories?

Ah we had the same Parish Priest then

18-02-2014 11:20AM

mauzo! wrote: »

We had the opposite, our home ec teacher told us to never use pads. You're basically spreading it around your vagina and bum and sitting in it all day! The blokes went an awful shade of white.

Me too just reading that

What a choice, spreading it around or killing yourself!

sadie06 · 18-02-2014 11:21AM

We had Father Michael Cleary breeze in, leather coat tails blowing behind him, to give us fifth years a talk, also with no teachers present. I remember him trying his best to shock us, telling us to look around, that 'at least 10 people here are gay, 4 will be pregnant before they leave school, 15 will become drug addicts', etc.

He was on such an ego trip, and spent most of the time basking in his own 'coolness'. It makes me shudder to think about it.

geeky · 18-02-2014 11:31AM

And here's me ready to talk about our 'sex education', which basically involved a doctor telling us we'd end up having an orgy if we watched pornos.

Mariasofia · 18-02-2014 11:33AM

We had Grandparents day......some weird fcukers at that!

wazky · 18-02-2014 11:33AM

geeky wrote: »

And here's me ready to talk about our 'sex education', which basically involved a doctor telling us we'd end up having an orgy if we watched pornos.

Is there was ever more of a reason to watch porn.

greenbicycle · 18-02-2014 11:33AM

We had the holy grail of sex education speakers in 6th class. Angela McNamara, who was brought in to tell us all about how sex worked as our convent school clearly weren't up to the task.

I think she was a bit of a holy Joe too though. She wrote that book "Ready Steady Grow" that parents (who also weren't up to the task of "the talk" but loved a bit of mass) bought for their children to read when the questions about where babies came from started!

Turtyturd · 18-02-2014 11:39AM

I think I blocked all those talks out....or just y'know, went to a normal school.

MarkR · 18-02-2014 11:42AM

Don't get me started on the guy who came in to measure us for pants. Looking back, it was kinda weird. We didn't even have school uniforms? :eek:

For Forks Sake · 18-02-2014 11:44AM

geeky wrote: »

And here's me ready to talk about our 'sex education', which basically involved a doctor telling us we'd end up having an orgy if we watched pornos.

Giggidy.

Knasher · 18-02-2014 11:47AM

We had a couple of visits from the chastity crowd. The didn't have the sellotape thing back then, but they made the same point with a piece of paper in the shape of a heart, which they had a girl from the class tear into half and hand to a guy each time, representing her diminishing capacity to love. I'd say this crowd visited us every too years and the entire school was herded into this really nice old library room in groups. By comparison we were given an actual sex-ed talk only once, when I was in 2nd year and it was held in a dark and run down AV room as far away from the main school building as possible.

18-02-2014 12:09PM

Picture the scene - sex "education" (a word I use loosely!) circa 1987. Not exactly the stone age now, but the AIDS crisis is in full swing remember and HIV treatments are still something of a distant dream.

So sex ed in an all boys school falls under the remit guess who? The science/biology teacher? The phys ed teacher? No, of course not. Don't be ridiculous. It can only be the religion teacher, right? She's a youngish woman, recently qualified, maybe 23 or 24, but in the eyes of kids aged 13 and 14 one adult is much the same as the next.

The entire sex ed program consists of this - we enter a classroom with single desks so as to sit alone. We then watch an animated slide show about changes to the human body between childhood and adulthood. A book of some description, I imagine it was to explain all this in more detail, is placed on everyone's desk. We are NOT allowed to open this book (lest it distract us from the show) and are NOT allowed to take it home overnight lest we jizzed all over the cartoons or something.

"Any questions?" she asks. "Not today though, write them down on a piece of paper and I'll deal with them next class. Bye now."

Five minutes before the next class one guy says to the rest of us, "lads, I'll bet you all she's gonna do ANYTHING to get out of this and finish the class as soon as she can. She'll say as soon as she hears one 'juvenile snigger' that none of us can be trusted, and then get back to some gospel or whatever".

And sure enough that's exactly how it played out. The first words out of her mouth were that if anyone so much as smiles the lesson is over on the spot. Everyone looks at each other rolling their eyes, shrugging their shoulders, and going "I knew it, told you so, any BS excuse" and so on.

True to her word, she sees the reaction and "here endeth the lesson", never ever to return to it. Not just with her, not with any teacher in any class for the remainder of our time in school. She may as well have closed the lesson with the words "go forth into a life of herpes, chlamydia, and teenage pregnancy" for all the good this so called education was for anyone.

Turtyturd · 18-02-2014 12:19PM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Picture the scene - sex "education" (a word I use loosely!) circa 1987. Not exactly the stone age now, but the AIDS crisis is in full swing remember and HIV treatments are still something of a distant dream.

So sex ed in an all boys school falls under the remit guess who? The science/biology teacher? The phys ed teacher? No, of course not. Don't be ridiculous. It can only be the religion teacher, right? She's a youngish woman, recently qualified, maybe 23 or 24, but in the eyes of kids aged 13 and 14 one adult is much the same as the next.

The entire sex ed program consists of this - we enter a classroom with single desks so as to sit alone. We then watch an animated slide show about changes to the human body between childhood and adulthood. A book of some description, I imagine it was to explain all this in more detail, is placed on everyone's desk. We are NOT allowed to open this book (lest it distract us from the show) and are NOT allowed to take it home overnight lest we jizzed all over the cartoons or something.

"Any questions?" she asks. "Not today, write them down on a piece of paper and I'll deal with them next class. Bye now."

Five minutes before the next class one guy says to the rest of us, "lads, I'll bet you all she's gonna do ANYTHING to get out of this and finish the class as soon as she can. She'll say as soon as she hears one 'juvenile snigger' that none of us can be trusted, and then get back to some gospel or whatever".

And sure enough that's exactly how it played out. The first words out of her mouth were that if anyone so much as smiles the lesson is over on the spot. Everyone looks at each other rolling their eyes, shrugging their shoulders, and going "I knew it, told you so, any BS excuse" and so on.

True to her word, she sees the reaction and "here endeth the lesson", never ever to return to it. Not just with her, not with any teacher in any class for the remainder of our time in school. She may as well have closed the lesson with the words "go forth into a life of herpes, chlamydia, and teenage pregnancy" for all the good this so called education was for anyone.

I think the misinformation Irish school boys developed as a result of 80's/90's sex education is a thread in itself.

Mr Freeze · 18-02-2014 12:23PM

In the 90s, in secondary school.

We were all brought in for a full day for a talk, we had no idea what it was about.

We were left with a Christian brother and a man and a woman.

He gave a brief waffly intro, introducing them, wasn't really paying attention, noone was, then woman began speaking, and after about 5 mins of her telling us about how she is ok now and what she does now, she then told us, "But I was possessed by the Divil".

Now we were all paying attention, and thus went a day of listening to these 3 talk about exorcisms and possessions.

They were probably all insane, but it was an entertaining day for us back then.

Mr Freeze · 18-02-2014 12:29PM

Turtyturd wrote: »

I think the misinformation Irish school boys developed as a result of 80's/90's sex education is a thread in itself.

In our school it was the biology teacher (middle aged woman, all boys school), and of course we got to ask questions too.

And of course those questions were just trying to get a reaction outta the teacher.

Someone asked about masturbation, and the teacher was totally un -phased by it the question, she said something like "oh thats commonly referred to as a ****". Queue the class erupting in laughter for the remainder of the class.

The Princess Bride · 18-02-2014 12:30PM

sadie06 wrote: »

We had Father Michael Cleary breeze in, leather coat tails blowing behind him, to give us fifth years a talk, also with no teachers present. I remember him trying his best to shock us, telling us to look around, that 'at least 10 people here are gay, 4 will be pregnant before they leave school, 15 will become drug addicts', etc.

He was on such an ego trip, and spent most of the time basking in his own 'coolness'. It makes me shudder to think about it.

He visited our school twice in the early 80s.
This was a Brigidine run school,Principal was a nun.

I have to say,he was quite honest and left us shocked- we were incredibly innocent and naive.
He spoke openly about the drugs he took under medical supervision to see the effects each had on him,all except LSD.
He had us laughing( & the nuns blushing) when he told us if he'd a hot blonde in the room,it wouldn't be the rosary he'd be doing with her.

Yes,he quoted statistics for drug addiction,abortion,divorce,teen pregnancy etc...among our group of 200+ students.
All I can say is 30 years later,he was spot on.
Definitely one of the more positive talks we had throughout my education.

ivytwine · 18-02-2014 12:31PM

Mr Freeze wrote: »

In the 90s, in secondary school.

We were all brought in for a full day for a talk, we had no idea what it was about.

We were left with a Christian brother and a man and a woman.

He gave a brief waffly intro, introducing them, wasn't really paying attention, noone was, then woman began speaking, and after about 5 mins of her telling us about how she is ok now and what she does now, she then told us, "But I was possessed by the Divil".

Now we were all paying attention, and thus went a day of listening to these 3 talk about exorcisms and possessions.

They were probably all insane, but it was an entertaining day for us back then.

We had someone who was 'possessed' too! This was in 2006...

Mr Freeze · 18-02-2014 12:39PM

ivytwine wrote: »

We had someone who was 'possessed' too! This was in 2006...

Would have been mid 90s for us.

I remember her saying something like, she couldn't go into the church cause there were dark evil figures that wouldn't let her, and her loved ones had to drag her in.

ivytwine · 18-02-2014 12:45PM

Mr Freeze wrote: »

Would have been mid 90s for us.

I remember her saying something like, she couldn't go into the church cause there were dark evil figures that wouldn't let her, and her loved ones had to drag her in.

I remember very little about ours, clearly they were the type of person who made satanic possession sound boring. I do remember her warning us off psychics though.

We had tons of talks in senior cycle-we had 2 hrs of religion every wed so they often had speakers. We had someone who had been in a cult too, that was actually very interesting.

Mariasofia · 18-02-2014 12:50PM

Anyone remember the crowd that used to come and you would have to strip and they would weigh and measure you and check your ears and eyes and stuff???? :O
Anyone??

ivytwine · 18-02-2014 12:53PM

Mariasofia wrote: »

Anyone remember the crowd that used to come and you would have to strip and they would weigh and measure you and check your ears and eyes and stuff???? :O
Anyone??

I think there are redress boards for that type of thing... :O

Weird school talks.

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