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Keeping the Family Name alive

2

Comments

  • #32
    Senna
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,800 ✭✭✭Senna


    josip wrote: »
    My Grandfather's son was named after him, as was his grandson, as was his great-grandson.
    From family tree research, I've found that my grandfather's father had the same name, as did his grandfather, as did his great-grandfather.
    Not a lot of imagination in our family and tremendous subtle pressure from the elders not to break the chain on the birth of the first son :D

    If they were in merica it would be Paddy Kelly IV


  • #33
    SkullRose
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15 ✭SkullRose


    It's the same with my family. My dad was an only child and had three daughters, but I hope to have a double barrel name when I'm married in the future. Plus my surname isn't very common at all. :)


  • #34
    candy-gal1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,568 ✭✭✭candy-gal1


    Well im an only child so if i do have kids theyll be well appreciated by the family for carrying on the family name :D , if i do!


  • #35
    Miss Mayhem
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 72 ✭✭Miss Mayhem


    My family is in the same situation as the OP - my dad has 4 brothers and 3 sisters. My dad and his brothers all had daughters only. My aunts all got married and had all sons.


  • #36
    Push Pop
    Closed Accounts Posts: 262 ✭✭Push Pop


    Senna wrote: »
    Unusual situation in my family at the moment that I hadn't even realised until my wife mentioned it. My family name might end with the current generation, all my male family only have baby girls (myself included) and my only male cousin with my family name has girls also. So there is a strong possibility that our family name wont be continued.
    Its nothing major and when the wife said it I dismissed it as unimportant, but the more I think about it, maybe I should be sad about my Fathers, Grandfathers, Great Grandfathers etc name (and maybe the connection to them) will no longer be.

    How would you feel? Is your family name important to you?

    My family name is very important. Also if I was in your situation I'd hope your daughters marry well and keep a good blood line. Ya can't beat good breeding.


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  • #37
    jamesbondings
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,201 ✭✭✭jamesbondings


    While my family name is very common in Ireland it does mean a great deal for me to carry it on.
    My grandfather had 6 children. 5 girls 1 boy. My father has 5 children 3 boys2 girls. Weird as it may seem and really unimportant I do think I would be upset in 20 odd years if I didn't have a son..... Don't get me wrong a healthy kid boy or girl is all that's important but want the name and my link to it continued....


  • #38
    The Pheasant2
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,699 ✭✭✭The Pheasant2


    I'm the last male of my line (rare name) - no pressure!


  • #39
    jamesbondings
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,201 ✭✭✭jamesbondings


    The Pheasant2 wrote: »
    I'm the last male of my line (rare name) - no pressure!

    Quick..... You must reproduce..... NOW....


  • #40
    Cee-Jay-Cee
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,234 ✭✭✭✭Cee-Jay-Cee


    Senna wrote: »
    Unusual situation in my family at the moment that I hadn't even realised until my wife mentioned it. My family name might end with the current generation, all my male family only have baby girls (myself included) and my only male cousin with my family name has girls also. So there is a strong possibility that our family name wont be continued.
    Its nothing major and when the wife said it I dismissed it as unimportant, but the more I think about it, maybe I should be sad about my Fathers, Grandfathers, Great Grandfathers etc name (and maybe the connection to them) will no longer be.

    How would you feel? Is your family name important to you?

    I'm sort of in the same situation. Myself and my brother and one cousin are the only three males among all my cousins (on my dad's side naturally) and I've two daughters and my brother has one, my cousin has a son however the thing is my cousin is adopted so the family name will continue but the blood line won't.

    It's been on my mind for some time now, I don't really care to be honest but I do think about it now and then. If my cousins son has children of his own then technically they're not related to me and even though they will have the same name it's not actually my family. Am I right in thinking that?


  • #41
    lynski
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,585 ✭✭✭lynski


    My mothers maiden name is nearly gone, very few left. Her grandmothers name also - and it is cool Handiboe. It is sad that names die out.
    I think that times change and there is a tiny percentage of families where the wife's name becomes the surname, this is an option?


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  • #42
    meoklmrk91
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,083 ✭✭✭meoklmrk91


    My father only had girls and while I have make cousins I still would feel very protective of my name. If I got married I wouldn't change it and if I had children I would feel fairly strongly about going the double barrel route.


  • #43
    jank
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 13,016 ✭✭✭✭jank


    gizmo555 wrote: »
    What's to stop your daughter(s) keeping your name, or both yours & your wife's?

    As they say, 'She took the ring, she takes the name'


  • #44
    brinty
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,333 ✭✭✭brinty


    Yea I'm in this boat
    Grandfather (not a very common surname) had two sons --> my dad had two and other brother none
    My brother 1 daughter and no sons (unlikely now to have more)
    Me no kids yet so its been well flagged and I'm feeling the pressure to have male only swimmers..

    Have a cousin on the other side and he's the only male that can keep that family name going (tis fairly common name though)

    So could witness two family lines ceasing in a generation!!!


  • #45
    WilyCoyote
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,059 ✭✭✭WilyCoyote


    If I could just catch that bloody bird and give her one :o

    No seriously ......... just hyphenate the name FFS. No sweat


  • #46
    Ericaa
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 534 ✭✭✭Ericaa


    Nope, I actually want to change my name to something that I've picked out.


  • #47
    josip
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 16,084 ✭✭✭✭josip


    brinty wrote: »
    Yea I'm in this boat
    Grandfather (not a very common surname) had two sons --> my dad had two and other brother none
    My brother 1 daughter and no sons (unlikely now to have more)
    Me no kids yet so its been well flagged and I'm feeling the pressure to have male only swimmers..

    Have a cousin on the other side and he's the only male that can keep that family name going (tis fairly common name though)

    So could witness two family lines ceasing in a generation!!!

    Have you researched your family tree back before your grandfather? It's almost a certainty that as you go back up, you will find more and more male siblings on your paternal line. It would be something interesting to do, especially if you are concerned about a paternal line finishing.
    CJC999 wrote: »
    I'm sort of in the same situation. Myself and my brother and one cousin are the only three males among all my cousins (on my dad's side naturally) and I've two daughters and my brother has one, my cousin has a son however the thing is my cousin is adopted so the family name will continue but the blood line won't.

    It's been on my mind for some time now, I don't really care to be honest but I do think about it now and then. If my cousins son has children of his own then technically they're not related to me and even though they will have the same name it's not actually my family. Am I right in thinking that?

    It's one way of looking at it and it has a certain validity. It does however ignore the fact that historically approximately 1-3% of children have a biological father other than the one it is presumed to be. It depends on ethnicity, parents age, religion and nationality. In the UK it's 1-2% among the current generation.

    I have researched my family tree pretty much as far back as I can. Some branches go back as far as the late 1700s identifying 127 ancestors. However statistically, at least 1 or even 2 of those have a different father than officially recorded. But which ones? So it's futile to attach too much importance to blood lines and genetics; ultimately at some stage all lines will experience a break.

    Similarly family names. A hundred years or more ago, names and their spelling were much more fluid because most people couldn't read or write and so relied on the local official/priest to record the spelling accurately. One branch of my ancestors went from Kough to Keogh to Kehoe in 3 generations. A name is just the label you currently have.

    And finally to paternal names, and family names dying out. Why do people think that fathers surnames are more important than mother's surnames? Does anyone lament when a woman gets married and changes her surname?

    The only valid thing to care about is the family tree of the family units in which your forebears were raised. Learn a bit about the family environment where your grandparents grew up. Talk to the old people while they're still around. And if you have kids help them to understand the family history that influenced who they are today.


  • #48
    blaze1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,559 ✭✭✭blaze1


    I've a rare surname and am the only son, dads brother had 2 girls and I've one sister.

    I had a daughter 1st and a son 2 years ago so the name will live on. Would've been upset if it didn't live on tbh.


  • #49
    foxy farmer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,194 ✭✭✭foxy farmer


    This is something I get quite a bit from older married people. As a single man with no desire for marriage or kids they harp on about continuing the family name. Anyone having kids so to continue family names has the wrong priorities. Your name is only as good as your reputation and how you behave while on this earth. Actions speak louder than words.


  • #50
    caustic 1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,314 ✭✭✭caustic 1


    I am not permitted to have the shrub Rhododendron growing in the garden because of the belief the family name will die out if it is. When I said it was utter claptrap himself proceeds to tell me of all the family names that have died out and have fine gardens full of Rhododendron.


  • #51
    Dravokivich
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,424 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    Senna wrote: »
    How would you feel? Is your family name important to you?

    It's happened with my mothers family. Her folks only had daughters. Her Da also only had sisters.

    My son is getting my girlfriends surname. Most people don't greet each other by Mr/Miss/Misses *Surname* any more. So it's less of an issue for me from that standpoint. I don't throw any major sentiment into it. Heck, I only use my surname when I sign for stuff. Most of the time when introducing myself I drop the Mahon from Mc Mahon.


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  • #52
    dotsman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,636 ✭✭✭dotsman


    gizmo555 wrote: »
    What's to stop your daughter(s) keeping your name, or both yours & your wife's?

    Because most people like to look at their kids and think that their grandkids will be born into happy, stable relationships and not one where the father's surname is unknown.


  • #53
    gizmo555
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,878 ✭✭✭gizmo555


    dotsman wrote: »
    Because most people like to look at their kids and think that their grandkids will be born into happy, stable relationships and not one where the father's surname is unknown.

    I can't see why the two things would be mutually exclusive. Icelanders don't have surnames at all as we understand them and so far as I know they're not exceptionally unhappy or unstable. Or one could do as they do in Spain, where people use both parent's surnames.


  • #54
    Dravokivich
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,424 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    gizmo555 wrote: »
    I can't see why the two things would be mutually exclusive. Icelanders don't have surnames at all as we understand them and so far as I know they're not exceptionally unhappy or unstable. Or one could do as they do in Spain, where people use both parent's surnames.

    There's a lot of people looking to get the setup in Iceland stopped. Jón Gnarr has spoken against it quite a bit. Can't seem to find the comments he made on his facebook page about it.


  • #55
    Shivers26
    Closed Accounts Posts: 639 ✭✭✭Shivers26


    I am married but never changed my name.

    To make things interesting (or complicated!), my older son has my surname and my younger son has my husbands surname. My husband has a fairly rare surname but lots of males in the family so it will live on and my family name is common enough.


  • #56
    Oink
    Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 2,163 Mod ✭✭✭✭Oink


    I think I'm safe...
    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=86856427


  • #57
    bradyle
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 353 ✭✭bradyle


    I've only one living uncle on my mams side who has 1 son, my grandad was the only boy in his family too. So my cousin is the only hope of my mams family name living on (fairly rare too).

    Even though its not my name I would still really like to see it survive and prosper. If it dies out with my wee cousin I definitely feel like I'd lost a link to the past.

    Doesnt make much sense really.


  • #58
    chughes
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,740 ✭✭✭chughes


    I've done a lot of work on my own family history and I have given this notion of surnames, and double barrelled versions in particular, a lot of thought.


    If you look at your own history you have 2 parents, 4 grandparents, and 8 great grandparents. So by going back just 3 generations you have 14 individuals, all of whom would have different surnames (usually). It was a social norm to take the father's name but I don't think it's a legal requirement.


    I note that it's usually females who express a preference for the double-barrelled surname. In doing this they are perpetuating their father's surname but ignore their mother's surname. Why not perpetuate the mother's surname too?


    What I'm trying to say is that all of us are the end product of various people with mostly different surnames. Why one surname takes precedence over another is just a social construct. I'm not in favour of double barrel names myself because a name is just an identifier, the person you are is the result of all your ancestors. So OP, don't worry about a name coming to an end, once you pass on your DNA, that's what really matters.


  • #59
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 12,761 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I'm the last in my line too. Pretty certain my paternal Grandmother is hanging on, waiting for my first son to make sure the line carries on!


  • #60
    dotsman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,636 ✭✭✭dotsman


    gizmo555 wrote: »
    I can't see why the two things would be mutually exclusive. Icelanders don't have surnames at all as we understand them and so far as I know they're not exceptionally unhappy or unstable. Or one could do as they do in Spain, where people use both parent's surnames.

    But that's Iceland and Spain. Why not speak Icelandic or Spanish here? Because this is Ireland!

    The naming convention (going back as far as we can in history) is based on father's surname, with most surnames having originated similar to Iceland where it was Ó or Mac/Mc "father's forename". This is the purpose of a surname. It's what gives the surname meaning. I am aware there are some uber-feminists who want to destroy that to make some BS political point, but as I abhor sexism, I generally ignore them. But all they do is remove the meaning of the surname - might as well make up any old surname if you are not going to do it right.

    I feel sorry for the descendants of these people. In hundreds of years, they are going to find it very difficult to trace their roots, or know anything about their history.


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  • #61
    YumDeiseMum
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 467 ✭✭YumDeiseMum


    There was never a chance for my family name, it changes very generation. great-grandmother, grandmother, mother, myself and my daughter are all only children


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