People asking for money: Genuine or chancers?

Gamer Bhoy 89 · 06-01-2014 12:12PM #1

I'm not talking about people with money boxes sitting in town streets either. I'm talking about seemingly normal citizens standing in the street and when I walk past them I'm asked to spare one or two euro.

I wouldn't say I'm gullible, more or less trying to keep myself safe, but I find it very nerve-racking to say "no" in case I get threatened or asked twice. One time I was approached very aggressively by a man that asked if I had any spare cash on me to "help his mother that she was in hospital with cancer". I spared him 10c and he said "come on you must have more than that, what about your missus does she have any in her purse?"

I was on the spot and very intimidated so I actually gave him €5 just to get him away from us.

A while later I saw the same lad again, only he was with 2 other lads, and they were all carrying bags from sports shops and laughing away, then I noticed one of lads going up to other strangers asking for money. He then approached me asked me for money only this time I did say "no" but my heart sunk when I said it.

Now, every time I'm asked for money I don't know whether to give them money to save my own skin or tell them no. I'm usually on my own when I run into these kind of people and it isn't nice.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this? And what do you do when you're approached in such a manner?

Banjo String · 06-01-2014 12:16PM

Yes. Happens me regularly enough too. They're chancers. Pure and simple.

Just tell them your broke too. Then offer to go halves with any collective begging you do as a team.

Chattastrophe! · 06-01-2014 12:16PM

I just say no and walk on. You were mad to give him a fiver!

If I'm going to donate to charity, I prefer to do so through the appropriate channels. More chance of it getting to those who most need it.

06-01-2014 12:17PM

I shake my head and say "no, sorry" and they move on

Kidchameleon · 06-01-2014 12:20PM

Chattastrophe! wrote: »

I just say no and walk on. You were mad to give him a fiver!

If I'm going to donate to charity, I prefer to do so through the appropriate channels. More NO chance of it getting to those who most need it.

FYP

Chattastrophe! · 06-01-2014 12:22PM

Kidchameleon wrote: »

FYP

Thanks, but it didn't need fixing.

If you're careful about which charities you give your money to, there certainly is a lot more chance of it being used as intended than if you hand it over to random scummers who try to intimidate you in the street.

It's sad that some people will be put off all charities because of the immoral actions of some. Plenty of decent charities out there that do absolutely excellent work, and deserve any help they can get.

TiGeR KiNgS · 06-01-2014 12:22PM

This is the usual conversation.

Chancer: Do you have any spare change ?...I need it to get home as I have no money for the bus.

Me: Yes, I have plenty of spare change but I'm not giving you a cent (awkward pause)... bye.

LOSTfan57 · 06-01-2014 12:23PM

Just totally ignore them and keep going

PhlegmyMoses · 06-01-2014 12:25PM

The trick in big city areas is to always be walking fast enough that you're one or two steps past them by the time they finish asking the question. This applies to chuggers, beggars, junkies etc.

I never feel intimidated by any of them but can't be arsed dealing with the awkwardness and the potential for aggro if they get brave.

Frank Black · 06-01-2014 12:26PM

gamercfc wrote: »

I was on the spot and very intimidated so I actually gave him €5 just to get him away from us.

Seriously?
You really need to grow a pair.

A simple 'no' will usually suffice.

somuj · 06-01-2014 12:27PM

I find yelling at them loudly to "FCUK OFF" works a charm. Have to say it with conviction tho and wide beady eyes. Sometimes I even start batting imaginary flies around my head. It really freaks them out.

leggo · 06-01-2014 12:29PM

TiGeR KiNgS wrote: »

This is the usual conversation.

Chancer: Do you have any spare change ?...I need it to get home as I have no money for the bus.

Me: Yes, I have plenty of spare change but I'm not giving you a cent (awkward pause)... bye.

It's not really though, is it? That's the conversation you have in your head afterwards that you wish you said instead of, "uh, I uh, no sorry broke, recession...I WISH! (Nervous laugh)"

FTA69 · 06-01-2014 12:30PM

gamercfc wrote: »

I was on the spot and very intimidated so I actually gave him €5 just to get him away from us.

That's terrible mate. Nobody should ever feel threatened on our streets. I really for you like. For €10 a can show you a few tricks to prevent this from happening again.

Zen65 · 06-01-2014 12:31PM

PhlegmyMoses wrote: »

The trick in big city areas is to always be walking fast enough that you're one or two steps past them by the time they finish asking the question. This applies to chuggers, beggars, junkies etc.

+1 go this.

I find that if you shake your head just a little, looking annoyed they will leave you alone.

homemadecider · 06-01-2014 12:32PM

By giving him a fiver all you've done is encourage him to keep pestering people for money. If no one gave them money they would eventually stop asking.

Rabelais · 06-01-2014 12:32PM

Headbutt their face into a course paste.

Mousewar · 06-01-2014 12:33PM

You're being mugged. The threat that makes you hand over the money is only implied but still there. This way they can't face any prosecution.

Tasden · 06-01-2014 12:42PM

Reminds me of when I was giving a guy money before Christmas and as I was handing it over he said "I'm not a junkie or anything like" and I said to him I'm already giving you the money what you do with it is none of my business, and he got real defensive saying do I look like I'm on drugs do I, are you saying I'm a junkie! I just asked did he want the money or not and he said oh OK sorry missus just don't want you thinking I'm a junkie. Very strange!

So they may be chancers but definitely not junkies :pac:

Gamer Bhoy 89 · 06-01-2014 12:46PM

Chattastrophe! wrote: »

I just say no and walk on. You were mad to give him a fiver!

If I'm going to donate to charity, I prefer to do so through the appropriate channels. More chance of it getting to those who most need it.

Believe me if you could only have been there at the time. That was the first time it ever happened, I didn't know what to do.

Gamer Bhoy 89 · 06-01-2014 12:48PM

Frank Black wrote: »

Seriously?
You really need to grow a pair.

A simple 'no' will usually suffice.

You have no idea who I am or what kind of person I am. I'm not as "ballsy" plus I'm not even from this country, it never happened where I was from.

OneArt · 06-01-2014 12:49PM

People in Ireland seem to find it very hard to say no to things like that. Moving to Germany made me a lot more confident in saying no. A simple, slightly aggressive "nein" and even the toughest-looking scamper like a scared rabbit. Works even better on beggars in Ireland. You just have to be more firm, it's your money you have absolutely no obligation to give them anything.

biko · 06-01-2014 12:49PM

The thing is that when you gave in and gave him a fiver it reinforces his behaviour.
Anyway, you'll know for next time.

I just don't entertain them, except unless I take pity on someone and walk over to them (not other way around).
I have been known to hand out fags though, it's just a nice thing to do I suppose.

Gamer Bhoy 89 · 06-01-2014 12:57PM

biko wrote: »

The thing is that when you gave in and gave him a fiver it reinforces his behaviour.
Anyway, you'll know for next time.

I just don't entertain them, except unless I take pity on someone and walk over to them (not other way around).
I have been known to hand out fags though, it's just a nice thing to do I suppose.

Oh believe me I know, the fiver incident was 2 and a half years ago like and thankfully I haven't been approached that way since. But I have had the odd person ask if I've had any spare change on me and that's where I hesitate.

I'm from Glasgow, I never found it common for people to be going up to people's face asking for spare change back home, there's plenty of homeless people with cardboard signs around Argyle St. and Buchanan St. that do that, but never a normal-looking citizen. I might be mistaken like but it seems common here that people already learned the correct response on the fly, first hand.

I'm not the ignorant type so that trait turns into a curse sometimes. If someone calls me I always answer without thinking. I always turn my head at beeping car horns, if I hear "Dave!" I always turn my head, if I hear "c'mere will ya" I always turn my head. if I hear "excuse me" I always turn my head.

I've a lot to learn ><

PS: The sensation of pity and guilt comes before regret and stupidity for me.

osarusan · 06-01-2014 12:59PM

Spare change? You mean money that, if I didn't give it to you, I would just throw away?

mickydoomsux · 06-01-2014 01:02PM

I just ignore people like this and walk past them like they don't even exist.

Same goes with chuggers, people collecting outside shops/banks and people shilling stuff in supermarkets/shopping centres.

If i want to give you money or avail of your product or service then i will initiate contact. Being harassed just ensures i'll never give you anything or buy anything from you.

This tactic relies on Irish people being far to hung up on the sanctity of charities and "de poor"

Get tougher.

BabysCoffee · 06-01-2014 01:06PM

Someone called to my door the other night looking for money. Gave me a spiel about having a one yr old son. I said "No, sorry" and closed the door. Felt a bit guilty.

On the other hand I found it a bit scary and intimidating to answer the door to a beggar and am glad I won't be encouraging it. Some of my neighbours are pretty old, I wouldn't like them to be getting these type of calls to the door.

Did I do the right thing???

TiGeR KiNgS · 06-01-2014 01:14PM

Does this fall under aggressive begging ?

Daqster · 06-01-2014 01:34PM

OP, the key is to be assertive, make eye contact and firmly say: 'No, I don't, sorry' then break eye contact and walk away.

People like that only pursue people when they can sense they are the type that will give in, they can see it in people, as they make 99% of their cash from them.