How many people's parent here are still together/married.

Meangadh · 29-12-2013 10:23AM

Mine are married almost 37 years now. My father in particular would be completely lost without my mother. My father is a cranky fecker half the time but I love both my parents to bits- they're legends.

I'm very lucky in my group of friends though as a huge amount have either lost parents early through illness or their parents have separated- actually in all cases the separations were caused by their dads having affairs or leaving their mothers (some have no contact with their dads since they were very young) or their dads being abusive to their mothers. I'm surprised more of my friends don't have major issues with men in their lives, but thankfully it hasn't greatly effected them- mostly due to the fact that they have amazing mothers.

WilyCoyote · 29-12-2013 11:15AM

Mint Aero · 29-12-2013 11:17AM

According to Mint Aero's statistics. If you meet your partner in a club nowadays and get hitched down the line, that marraige will end in divorce 6 out of 10 times. However, if you meet your partner online. That marraige wil only end in divorce 1 out of 10 times.

helimachoptor · 29-12-2013 11:26AM

Father died when I was 6 and while my mam was pregnant with my brother, she did a fantastic job raising the 2 of us and the odd time with rebelliousness myself and my bro didn't make it easy for her she was good cop/bad cop in one parent.

It's only as I've gotten older that I realised everything she did for us

Trojan stuff from her tbh

ivytwine · 29-12-2013 11:29AM

You know it's funny, my parents were together probably little over 3 years... they broke up when I was one year old. Never married.

Love them both to bits and in fairness they handled it very well. Used to go stay with Dad and his new girlfriend and Mam never had any issues. I remember there being a slight issue when I was getting my confirmation when I was 12 but apart from that they always got on well and put me first. Neither of them are the type to hold grudges thankfully. I was very lucky. They've been to my graduations together, school plays, so on. A girl at my grad had to keep her parents apart for the entire day, which I thought was horrible and so selfish of them.

Anyway, in primary school in a small town I was one of only two kids with separated parents, but in secondary school it began to creep up- around the age of 12 weirdly enough. By the time I was in college a lot of people seemed to have separated parents- it's definitely more common than it used to be.

Even in my houseshare, none of us have 'traditional' families.

I was chatting to a friend of a friend who's a teacher and she said she feels a bit weird that kids in her class say stuff like 'my stepdad took me here'. I really think that it should be a bit more normalised. Almost every book I read as a kid had Mammy, Daddy, two kids... Stepparents can often have a bigger role than biological parents and yet it's very rare you hear anything positive about stepparents.

It's possible to be a perfectly happy individual in a blended family. Some of the most messed up people I know come from the stereotypical nuclear family.

mojesius · 29-12-2013 11:34AM

The split up when I was 9. They never got divorced though, only legally separated so far Dad still comes to my mums most years for Xmas dinner. They wouldn't be best friends or anything, but they're amicable enough. Glad they split up as they were totally unsuited.

IvyTheTerrible · 29-12-2013 11:35AM

Parents are happily married 35 years. Things were tough when we were small but if they didn't split up then, they'll never split up, they get on much better now.

Teyla Emmagan · 29-12-2013 11:47AM

Married over 40 years are still mad about each other. Have loads of similar interests but also a tonne of separate ones, very supportive of each other. Still hold hands and snog and all of that. I have never seen one angry at the other. I am sure there have been loads of rows, but never in front of us. There has never been any bitterness, or sniping. They're very happy. It's lovely to see to be honest.

All my friends' folks are still together incidentially, bar a few who have been widowed.

fatherted1969 · 29-12-2013 01:00PM

Mother and father married. Father died when i was 5, had 6 other brothers and sisters under 9. My brother was born 10 days after my days died. She remarried again 2 years later, he died when i was 13, had another 2 sisters. She remarried again when i was 17, had another 2 brothers. Married 26 years now, she's a tough oul bird me ma.

Now which box should i tick for all that :-)

gabsdot40 · 29-12-2013 01:05PM

My parents have been married for 45 years. Happily from what I observed.
They are activly retired now and enjoying life.
It's comforting to see a marriage that has worked, makes me think mine can do the distance too.

JillyQ · 29-12-2013 01:07PM

Mine are 50 years married, still happy as ever.

Pumpkinseeds · 29-12-2013 05:18PM

They've been married for 41 years, they should have split up at least 25 years ago. They live under the same roof, seperate rooms, seperate lives and don't even stay in the same room to watch tv.

Shenshen · 29-12-2013 05:23PM

Mine separated 25 years ago... I remember that having been the happiest day of my life for a long time, the day my mother told me she was leaving my father.

I haven't spoken to him since, despite my mother trying her best to keep us in contact with him. She really believed the nonsense about children needing a father. To this day, I tend to fly in a rage whenever some voices this nonsense in my presence.
Children need loving parents, and if one of them develops into a self-obsessed, sadistic maniac the best the other parent can do is make sure the kids are not exposed to him/her any more.

Witchie · 29-12-2013 05:58PM

Mine are married 44 years and despite the odd spat they are as much, if not more in love now as they ever were.

I am so glad they are as at least my sons can see that sometimes a marriage can work.

Legs.Eleven · 29-12-2013 06:20PM

My dad was married to my mother for 24 years before she died. He remarried again a few years later and has been with my stepmother now for 19 years. He's obviously a man for the long-termers. Definitely has influenced my own view of relationships (positively).

anncoates · 29-12-2013 06:20PM

They're still married after forty years.

Like any couple, they seemed to have their ups and downs when they were rearing us but actually get on really well now and have a good social life.

Ruu · 29-12-2013 06:25PM

Married 42 years, hasn't been plain sailing like many others mentioned here. They still go out for drives at the weekend and grub as well. Mam is retired but Dad is still working away, maybe next year will be his last after he got a lump secured when he moves on.

nicowa · 30-12-2013 07:22PM

Mine would have been married 30 years this year the month my mother moved out. They'd always had their arguments and dad seemed to keep a lot of financials from her, for good and bad reasons, but I suppose when we'd all moved out it just crashed. Dad would take her back I think but she won't go. So we're in the initial sticky stages at the moment.

thecatspjs · 30-12-2013 07:38PM

Married about 28 years but my dad moved out for a while due to the fact that he was a fool who didn't seem to realise how good he had it. He's back now but separate bedrooms and fairly grim atmosphere at times. Honestly not sure why they're still together.

Ilyana 2.0 · 30-12-2013 07:59PM

They're married 25 years next May. As far as I can see, they'd be lost without each other even though they have independent pastimes and interests. They might bicker now and then butbut generally there has always been a happy, peaceful atmosphere at home.

We're very lucky really.

Galwayguy35 · 30-12-2013 08:03PM

Yeah they were married for 25 years, both long gone now but if I was to ever get married I'd think myself lucky to be as happy as they were together.

DoozerT6 · 30-12-2013 08:11PM

Mine will be celebrating their 49th anniversary next month

YellowFeather · 30-12-2013 08:11PM

My parents split up for good when I was about 15. Was very hard at the time, but, in hindsight; it was the best thing they could have done. The arguments were ferocious before. Now they're best friends. I'm very lucky that the three of us can meet for dinner every week and get on well.

MadsL · 30-12-2013 08:15PM

Pregnant out of wedlock with my brother in the early fifties, they survived a 'shotgun' wedding, a standup shaming and shunning by my Grandad's church, and my dad's national service in the RAF for 2 years immediately after the birth.

Celebrating their 60th in 10 days time.

30-12-2013 08:17PM

Mine never got married. They were together for about 10 years...separated when I was 7.

Well actually my Dad had an affair and now is married to the woman he had the affair with

Was all a bit confusing! We were all living in France and my Mother had to move back to Ireland with my brother and myself because she couldn't stand being in France after she broke up with my Dad. Then we moved back to France again so they could "try and work it out". But then we moved here again.. My Dad still lives in France. He's English, not French. My Mother is Irish though, that's why we moved back here. I don't talk to my Dad's wife. She's an awful wagon.

In fairness to my Mother she brought my brother and myself up very well considering the circumstances. She worked 3 jobs when we were kids so she could pay the bills. Luckily my Nan was able to do a lot of the babysitting. My Dad never paid any maintenance. We used to go to France every school holiday and visit him.

My Mother never really got into a proper long term relationship again. She had 2 boyfriends alright but they didn't last very long.

I think this whole experience has skewed the way I look at relationships/having kids. I will never have children until I know I am financially ready and definitely with the right person, although how are you supposed to know that?! I dunno. Used to have this fear of being left by boyfriends. Don't really have it anymore though. Maybe I just grew out of it. Happy with the fella I'm now and everything, just still get a bit anxious sometimes! No idea is that to do with my er childhood..or is it just a general girl thing..

Lyra Fangs · 30-12-2013 08:40PM

Father left with my sister when I was 4 (she was 11). He remarried when I was 11, my sister moved back in with us when she was 18 and moved out again at 22. My mother never remarried or got into a serious relationship, I think she was still hung up on my father and her health wasn't great, in and out of hospital for most of her life.

McChubbin · 30-12-2013 08:48PM

My mother seperated from my father when I was 2, officially divorced him when I was 16. She then married my stepdad when I was 19 and aside from the occasional ups and downs, she's happier than ever.
My father was a raging alcoholic and it was tough going to him on visitation days. I have a crappy relationship with him at the moment but I won't really get into it here. Suffice to say, I consider my stepdad to be the main father figure in my life. He helped raise me since I was 9 and put up with a lot of grief from both myself and my brother.

boobar · 30-12-2013 08:58PM

Mine are married over 50 years, seem to really dislike each other.

Jimmy Iovine · 30-12-2013 09:04PM

My parents have been married for 26 (nearly 27) years. They have almost never had a fight, only a few arguments about minor issues.

My dad credits their happiness due to the fact that, when they married, he handed over sole control of his money to my mum and she managed both of their finances.

He has said that all he wants on a daily basis is enough money to buy the paper, a sandwich and some petrol.

It's hilarious to see a retired man, who earned a shed load during his career, asking for €20 before he goes out for a few pints with his friends.

The fact that my mum is a genius at managing the finances helps greatly. She has made sure that they never owed money to anyone. They never blew their money during the 00's and they are living quite comfortably now.

I hope that I can meet someone that I can trust 100% when it comes to money.

loubian · 31-12-2013 01:41AM

Mine separated when I was 7, my brother was 4. I remember everything about it. It was horrible and I still don't like thinking about it 17 years on.

They divorced in 2011 and my mum remarried in 2012 to a guy she'd been with for almost a decade. I tolerate him (the new husband) but there are times when I absolutely hate him.

How many people's parent here are still together/married.

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