Advertisement
Help Keep Boards Alive. Support us by going ad free today. See here: https://subscriptions.boards.ie/.
https://www.boards.ie/group/1878-subscribers-forum

Private Group for paid up members of Boards.ie. Join the club.
Hi all, please see this major site announcement: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058427594/boards-ie-2026

Turn ons/offs in the opposite sex

17879818384116

Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,943 ✭✭✭smcgiff


    Daveysil15 wrote: »
    No it wasn't a fart, it was something else ha. Maybe lufties was referring to farts, I'm not sure. If it was though, he could have just blown it away seen as it was the doggy position and all.

    Jasus I'm just after getting a good mental picture of that now. How funny would that look? :pac:

    He could have wafted it away with his hand. Every fourth waft could have been a smack on her arse... to keep it sexy like.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    smcgiff wrote: »
    He could have wafted it away with his hand. Every fourth waft could have been a smack on her arse... to keep it sexy like.


    Hmm, I could see a flaw in your plan if one of a girl's turn-ons is being spanked! Could get fairly shtinky when she thinks you're encouraging her! :pac:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,301 ✭✭✭Daveysil15


    smcgiff wrote: »
    He could have wafted it away with his hand. Every fourth waft could have been a smack on her arse... to keep it sexy like.

    Doggy style is getting more appealing by the minute.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,943 ✭✭✭smcgiff


    Czarcasm wrote: »
    Hmm, I could see a flaw in your plan if one of a girl's turn-ons is being spanked! Could get fairly shtinky when she thinks you're encouraging her! :pac:


    Or even a Pavlovian response. I might just be over thinking it though...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,943 ✭✭✭smcgiff


    Daveysil15 wrote: »
    Doggy style is getting more appealing by the minute.

    Impossible ;)


  • Advertisement
  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,456 ✭✭✭astonaidan


    I memorised all the players of the Aston Villa football team and got the jersey for my birthday when I was 15 because the guy I fancied liked them.




    /put the bunnies on to boil....

    All I ever wanted was a girl to pretend to like Villa


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,363 ✭✭✭✭cantdecide


    astonaidan wrote: »
    All I ever wanted was a girl to pretend to like Villa

    You will have to pay extra for that.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,901 ✭✭✭Howard Juneau


    astonaidan wrote: »
    All I ever wanted was a girl to pretend to like Villa

    Better chance of a girl actually liking anal than that!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,507 ✭✭✭lufties


    Daveysil15 wrote: »
    No it wasn't a fart, it was something else ha. Maybe lufties was referring to farts, I'm not sure. If it was though, he could have just blown it away seen as it was the doggy position and all.

    Jasus I'm just after getting a good mental picture of that now. How funny would that look? :pac:

    I meant the hygiene of the lady, A fart? well I suppose that would just be funny :pac:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    lufties wrote: »
    I meant the hygiene of the lady, A fart? well I suppose that would just be funny :pac:


    A woman farting in his face seemed to inspire some of James Joyce' greatest literary works...

    NSFW and spoilered just in case anyone's just had their dinner -

    You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I ****ed them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to **** a farting woman when every **** drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora's fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also.


    Source: James Joyce's Dirty Letters


    Quite the surprisingly vile individual really was Joyce! :pac:


  • Advertisement
  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,987 ✭✭✭Legs.Eleven


    ivytwine wrote: »
    I pretended to like metal and even went to a gig in the o2 cos a guy I liked was in a metal band...

    Teenage ivytwine was a silly gel!


    I wonder do fellas do the similar things.


    Fellers?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    I wonder do fellas do the similar things.


    Fellers?


    You mean aside from an unusually unhealthy interest in all things female anyway such as fashion, shoes, beauty therapy, hair and cosmetics... naah, I got nothin' :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,269 ✭✭✭GalwayGuy2


    @JoyceJames

    Yup, sexuality is an awesomely spectrum/abyss.
    I wonder do fellas do the similar things.


    Fellers?

    Yes...with varied results.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,088 ✭✭✭Pug160


    Some guys do much worse things than that, like getting tattoos just to impress girls.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,987 ✭✭✭Legs.Eleven


    Czarcasm wrote: »
    You mean aside from an unusually unhealthy interest in all things female anyway such as fashion, shoes, beauty therapy, hair and cosmetics... naah, I got nothin' :D


    But pretend to like things to impress them?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    But pretend to like things to impress them?


    Ohh right, yeah, oh god yes :pac:


    Like I cannot stand soaps, yet five nights a week, my wife has her soaps for the evening planned out... I'd much rather be watching something interesting than the latest goings on in Albert Sq, or I'd rather not be keeping up with the Kardashians... :(

    I did watch "The Notebook" once, for another mate of mine, and no, it's NOT a better love story than Twilight, and it certainly doesn't come anywhere near holding a candle to classics like "Breakfast at Tiffany's", or my all time favorite film of all time - "Gone With The Wind"!


    EDIT: Read the FSOG trilogy too, but nobody was impressed by that :pac:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,114 ✭✭✭ivytwine


    But pretend to like things to impress them?

    I think it's a very teenage thing to do. Maybe girls do it more because they feel like they can't make the first move?

    Both sexes come up with these elaborate strategies in their teen years to get close to the person they like.

    I knew I was a grown-up :p in college when my ex asked had I heard such-and-such band and I said no. A year or two before I would have lied and got myself into knots!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,269 ✭✭✭GalwayGuy2


    Both sexes come up with these elaborate strategies in their teen years to get close to the person they like.

    *Cringe*

    Oh, the teenage memories...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,987 ✭✭✭Legs.Eleven


    ivytwine wrote: »
    I think it's a very teenage thing to do. Maybe girls do it more because they feel like they can't make the first move?

    Both sexes come up with these elaborate strategies in their teen years to get close to the person they like.

    I knew I was a grown-up :p in college when my ex asked had I heard such-and-such band and I said no. A year or two before I would have lied and got myself into knots!


    Interesting theory. Would've saved myself a lot of bother had I just told him. Instead I used to walk past him and his mates in my jersey hoping he'd wonder, "Who was that girl?" *Intrigued eyebrow raise*.

    One day, my friend at the time shouted down the street at him one day, "Legs memorised all the players of Villa and bought the jersey to impress you!". I'm sure you all have an idea of just how embarrassed I felt. Pretty much my default emotion at that age.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,349 ✭✭✭✭starlit


    Is it not better to be honest with one another what ye like and don't like fair enough you like to impress each other.

    Did Joyce really write that! :O


  • Advertisement
  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    doovdela wrote: »
    Is it not better to be honest with one another what ye like and don't like fair enough you like to impress each other.

    Did Joyce really write that! :O


    I always thought alright it was just better to be honest with each other than to try and pretend you're something you're not just to impress people. I mean, yeah, so you lose out on some things, like I'd love to have more guy mates, but I've no interest whatsoever in most sports only rugby really and hurling, but then I'd have to be pretending to be interested in soccer and Saturday afternoons down the pub, and that's just not me, but, what I gain from having more female mates, well, there's a whole world of interesting sorts of stuff to talk about that interests me and that's more "me" :D

    And yes, Joyce really did write that, wrote worse in "Ulysses", and that's considered one of the greatest English literary works of the 20th century! :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,387 ✭✭✭eisenberg1


    Czarcasm wrote: »
    I always thought alright it was just better to be honest with each other than to try and pretend you're something you're not just to impress people. I mean, yeah, so you lose out on some things, like I'd love to have more guy mates, but I've no interest whatsoever in most sports only rugby really and hurling, but then I'd have to be pretending to be interested in soccer and Saturday afternoons down the pub, and that's just not me, but, what I gain from having more female mates, well, there's a whole world of interesting sorts of stuff to talk about that interests me and that's more "me" :D

    And yes, Joyce really did write that, wrote worse in "Ulysses", and that's considered one of the greatest English literary works of the 20th century! :D

    Czarcasm, don't go there with the taste of the kidneys:D

    Oh yeah, onesies:P


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,029 ✭✭✭salacious crumb


    eisenberg1 wrote: »
    Czarcasm, don't go there with the taste of the kidneys:D

    Oh yeah, onesies:P


    Mmmmm. Urine :pac:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 218 ✭✭burnhardlanger


    On the whole Princess/Men pay for everything theme;

    My OH's neice is 16 (spoiled rotten) and has this attitude. Her current life goal is to find a man who will buy her nice things. Verbatim what she has said.

    It's depressing to think that her immediate goals are to buy a pair of shoes that cost over €400 from Brown Thomas (...but never wear them!)


  • Posts: 53,068 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    On the whole Princess/Men pay for everything theme;

    My OH's neice is 16 (spoled rotten) and has this attitude. Her current life goal is to find a man who will buy her nice things. Verbatim what she has said.

    It's depressing to think that her immediate goals are to buy a pair of shoes that cost over €400 from Brown Thomas (...but never wear them!)

    Sad to think that people actually bring their kids up like that.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,341 ✭✭✭czechlin


    Interesting reading the comments posted from women on here, was dating a woman a few months ago and one Saturday night we were out and she bought me and herself a meal in a Chinese restaurant, everything grand so far. Later we went to the theatre, I paid for the tickets and drinks in a local bar to end the night and then it started... .she never stopped bitching and complaining about how much the meal in the restaurant had cost her. It was the first time she had paid for anything while we were dating. She wouldn't let it go so I took her out the following week, no change, needles to say, I pulled the plug on it. The sense of entitlement some women have is unbelievable, she was working, so why couldn't she pay for once, I don't mind when the woman pays, but to complain about it afterwards, jeez.

    Wow that is quite shocking! And it explains the awkward situations I've come across lately. Some fellas were almost shocked/insulted when I pulled out my wallet and some were hanging out there waiting for me to pay the whole lot. So the whole paying "issue" actually stresses me out! Guess it goes down to the personality as well, but I just don't get this. I was raised to be independent. When I go on a date I'm happy to pay my share, I don't mind getting the guy a drink either. If he gets cinema tickets I get the popcorn etc. I thought that was the common "rule" these days. But if he wants to treat me, then I let him.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,128 ✭✭✭RedFormanFITA


    But pretend to like things to impress them?

    I 'changed' football teams, I supported one team all my life and now I ahem, 'support' a different football team, to stay onside with herself, it was worth it though, the REWARDS in the bedroom ;) far outweigh a life time of supporting a football team.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,029 ✭✭✭salacious crumb


    I 'changed' football teams, I supported one team all my life and now I ahem, 'support' a different football team, to stay onside with herself, it was worth it though, the REWARDS in the bedroom ;) far outweigh a life time of supporting a football team.


    Sellout :pac:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,681 ✭✭✭✭P_1


    I 'changed' football teams, I supported one team all my life and now I ahem, 'support' a different football team, to stay onside with herself, it was worth it though, the REWARDS in the bedroom ;) far outweigh a life time of supporting a football team.

    Controversial Jeff, controversial :P


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,906 ✭✭✭✭Alf Veedersane


    I 'changed' football teams, I supported one team all my life and now I ahem, 'support' a different football team, to stay onside with herself, it was worth it though, the REWARDS in the bedroom ;) far outweigh a life time of supporting a football team.

    Now she gets to pretend she's being banged by her favourite player.

    No wonder the sex is better.


Advertisement
Advertisement