When I hear girls talking about boys

Gran Hermano · 18-11-2013 06:57PM

BillyMitchel wrote: »

OP man up and just ask her does she know how to play hide the sausage.

I reckon she does; just not with the OP.

poeticseraphim · 18-11-2013 07:51PM

Dancing With Myself wrote: »

Does it annoy anyone when you hear girls who you fancy talking about boy problems in your presence. Does it make you think or remind you of the fact that they don't even notice you in that way. I once felt saying "hello, did it ever occur to you that maybe I might fancy you too". What's a player supposed to do in this situation.

I heard a girl recently that I have my eye on talking to another girl in this sort of way. This girl definitely knows I have a thing for her, even though I never showed her. I was hovering about the area for another reason minding my own business and I heard her talking/answering to the other girl in a reluctant sort of way. The other girl was unaware of the situation between us. The girl in question then said "I'll tell you later" which I didn't mind. It means she was aware of my presence. They could have just continued on talking, or worse.. started talking to me about this guy!!!!

This girl definitely knows I have a thing for her, even though I never showed her.

That makes no sense whatsoever.

What's a player supposed to do in this situation.

You are not a player.
The wonderful thing about being an average 21 yr old is that girls will remember ah he is just an average 21 yr old give him a break.

If you portray yourself as a player they are going to forget you have human emotions.

Why are you being so hard on this girl by the way she has not done anything wrong? Girls are aloud to fancy whom they like just as you are.

You need to identify with who you really are and become comfortable with that. It is ok to be who you are and not some cardboard cut out. Sorry but you are not a player. You are just a guy and a vulnerable one. It is expressing that vulnerability that will make girls consider your feelings more and be a little more sensitive when talking about guy they fancy. This guy will not always be you don't worry about this as sometimes it will be you. And your heart is stronger than you think. Don't be an ass to a girl or demeaning to your real feelings to her because they are unrequited. It is ok to like someone who does not like you back. It does not make you any less attractive. If you become comfortable with accepting this risk you really will be a true player. You really did like that girl and she did not like you back but liked another but you are still standing right? You have learnt that it is ok and your heart is stronger than you thought. She is still a nice person and so are you.

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

http://www.kipling.org.uk/poems_if.htm

Before you start thinking you can get over unrequited love by hating her or demeaning what you felt for her with a ' I really was not into her' remember....

Love is infinitely more durable than hate

- Hemingway.

Apathy is asexual. It is lack of sexuality.

By the way if you are really not into her then you don't deserve her. And if you are still into her then you deserve a chance and so does she and most of all so does romance.

By the way if you are certain it is not going to work out and are still sensitive to it ask her politely 'hey could we not talk about your relationships or feelings with other guys for a while I am just slightly sensitive to it right now but it will pass'. Because if you are not really into her you will not need to hold up the steely player facade no? You can just be honest.

And remember she has not done anything wrong. And you are fine being the real you.

old hippy · 19-11-2013 01:56PM

theblaqueguy wrote: »

Just flash the cash!
And she'll be onto ya quicker than flies on sh!te

Is that really what you think of women?

Dancing With Myself · 21-11-2013 11:56AM

poeticseraphim wrote: »

That makes no sense whatsoever.

You are not a player.
The wonderful thing about being an average 21 yr old is that girls will remember ah he is just an average 21 yr old give him a break.

If you portray yourself as a player they are going to forget you have human emotions.

Why are you being so hard on this girl by the way she has not done anything wrong? Girls are aloud to fancy whom they like just as you are.

You need to identify with who you really are and become comfortable with that. It is ok to be who you are and not some cardboard cut out. Sorry but you are not a player. You are just a guy and a vulnerable one. It is expressing that vulnerability that will make girls consider your feelings more and be a little more sensitive when talking about guy they fancy. This guy will not always be you don't worry about this as sometimes it will be you. And your heart is stronger than you think. Don't be an ass to a girl or demeaning to your real feelings to her because they are unrequited. It is ok to like someone who does not like you back. It does not make you any less attractive. If you become comfortable with accepting this risk you really will be a true player. You really did like that girl and she did not like you back but liked another but you are still standing right? You have learnt that it is ok and your heart is stronger than you thought. She is still a nice person and so are you.

http://www.kipling.org.uk/poems_if.htm

Before you start thinking you can get over unrequited love by hating her or demeaning what you felt for her with a ' I really was not into her' remember....
- Hemingway.

Apathy is asexual. It is lack of sexuality.

By the way if you are really not into her then you don't deserve her. And if you are still into her then you deserve a chance and so does she and most of all so does romance.

By the way if you are certain it is not going to work out and are still sensitive to it ask her politely 'hey could we not talk about your relationships or feelings with other guys for a while I am just slightly sensitive to it right now but it will pass'. Because if you are not really into her you will not need to hold up the steely player facade no? You can just be honest.

And remember she has not done anything wrong. And you are fine being the real you.

What a load of nonsense. If I listened to you any longer I'd think I was the most worthless human alive

old hippy · 21-11-2013 01:43PM

Dancing With Myself wrote: »

What a load of nonsense. If I listened to you any longer I'd think I was the most worthless human alive

I thought it was rather sound advice. The girl doesn't owe you anything. You fancy her and she doesn't fancy you. It's not like you've been in a relationship with her, so move on and don't focus on the fact that like any normal person, she's talking to a mate about someone she fancies.

Awesomeness · 21-11-2013 02:29PM

Sweet jesus its a boring day at work when im replying to this but here goes.

This is the problem with so many irish lads that they cant just talk to girls. The nightclubs here are filled with people who see attractive girls, mention it to their mate then stand at the dance floor staring at them gettign drunk.

Also you say you fancy her but dont actually like her probably not worth starting a thread over. She is sure to feel special from the way you talked about her.

Bog Standard User · 21-11-2013 02:32PM

thegreatgonzo wrote: »

Ah maybe he really is 12.
Then he shouldn't be on this site though.

why are you one of these people that prey on under 12's?

beakerjoe · 21-11-2013 02:41PM

Dear OP,

you sound like a very immature 21 year old. judging by what Ive read you shouldn't have started a thread about this at all since your not mad about her.

If your mad about her its different but your not so why start the thread? pointless.

witchgirl26 · 21-11-2013 02:55PM

OP - seriously man up with this one. Why is it guys think that if they mention to a girl that they like them we will automatically assume they are deeply in love with us & will propose *any minute*. Eh we won't. Tell her you like her ffs. If you don't - than flippin cop on & get the hell over yourself.

She ain't psychic (as far as we know) so unless you've said something to her or showed some signs (obvious ones) than she ain't going to have a clue.

She probably moved away to have the discussion because it was private & she didn't want someone she didn't know listening in - it isn't all about you, ya know.

Oh & the fact that she hasn't gone off with other guys in the course could just mean that she doesn't want to get a reputation or something not that she's ruled every single one of them out. Or could be that she has a boyfriend.

Seriously though - you're 21, not 15. Ask her out for a drink some night & see how things go if you want to or stop flippin "woe is me"-ing.

*if you do like her & she says no then feel free to do the "woe is me" but not if you've never even tried to go there.

Idbatterim · 21-11-2013 04:38PM

Idbatterim · 21-11-2013 04:40PM

sorry withchgirl26, I'm assuming a potentially strong dose of hypocrisy here, would you do the same as you propose, with a guy you fancied?

Foxhound38 · 21-11-2013 04:44PM

Dancing With Myself wrote: »

What a load of nonsense. If I listened to you any longer I'd think I was the most worthless human alive

OP seems to think this girl owes him her affections - he is mistaken. Man up and chance your arm by telling her how you feel or move on to someone else - simples.

witchgirl26 · 21-11-2013 04:45PM

Idbatterim wrote: »

sorry withchgirl26, I'm assuming a potentially strong dose of hypocrisy here, would you do the same as you propose, with a guy you fancied?

Yep I would and have done more than once. Sometimes it didn't go well other times it went great. I don't think that just coz I'm a girl it means I should wait around in hope, I can & will do something about it.

jimgoose · 21-11-2013 04:47PM

poeticseraphim wrote: »

<Snip a load of "sensitive", New-Age shyte that'll at best get the OP promoted to The Gay Friend>

old hippy wrote: »

Is that really what you think of women?

Those of us who unfortunately find ourselves all hypothalamus and little or no Dr. Phil have no option but to do the whole Alpha Male bit, with the grunting, big cars and often obnoxious displays of hunting prowess!

old hippy wrote: »

I thought it was rather sound advice. The girl doesn't owe you anything. You fancy her and she doesn't fancy you. It's not like you've been in a relationship with her, so move on and don't focus on the fact that like any normal person, she's talking to a mate about someone she fancies.

OP, the Aged Hipster spakes trath. Big wheels rollin', movin' on.

Idbatterim · 21-11-2013 04:52PM

Yep I would and have done more than once. Sometimes it didn't go well other times it went great. I don't think that just coz I'm a girl it means I should wait around in hope, I can & will do something about it.

Fair play, most girls here wont!

Dancing With Myself · 21-11-2013 05:03PM

witchgirl26 wrote: »

OP - seriously man up with this one. Why is it guys think that if they mention to a girl that they like them we will automatically assume they are deeply in love with us & will propose *any minute*. Eh we won't. Tell her you like her ffs. If you don't - than flippin cop on & get the hell over yourself.

She ain't psychic (as far as we know) so unless you've said something to her or showed some signs (obvious ones) than she ain't going to have a clue.

She probably moved away to have the discussion because it was private & she didn't want someone she didn't know listening in - it isn't all about you, ya know.

Oh & the fact that she hasn't gone off with other guys in the course could just mean that she doesn't want to get a reputation or something not that she's ruled every single one of them out. Or could be that she has a boyfriend.

Seriously though - you're 21, not 15. Ask her out for a drink some night & see how things go if you want to or stop flippin "woe is me"-ing.

*if you do like her & she says no then feel free to do the "woe is me" but not if you've never even tried to go there.

I acted in the way you would have wanted me to with a girl before and it didn't it didn't work out so well. I got a little distracted and forced an opportunity(probably to prove it to myself) and ended up making it sort of public.

I have dropped a few hints to her. Trust me.. I know she's aware. But I'm going to be around for possibly another 2 years, so I won't act so fast

I admire that the fact that you(as a girl) would be willing to initiate things in a similar situation with a with a guy. But girls aren't like that in Ireland. You think the guys in this country lack confidence... the girls do too, to such an extent that they sometimes don't even know how to say 'yes' when they actually are asked. Hence the drunken Irish

witchgirl26 · 21-11-2013 05:23PM

Dancing With Myself wrote: »

I acted in the way you would have wanted me to with a girl before and it didn't it didn't work out so well. I got a little distracted and forced an opportunity(probably to prove it to myself) and ended up making it sort of public.

So it didn't work well once and that means you'll never try it again? Jaysus learn from that and try again with a different person and a different situation. If that's your attitude than it don't look good for you.

Dancing With Myself wrote: »

I have dropped a few hints to her. Trust me.. I know she's aware. But I'm going to be around for possibly another 2 years, so I won't act so fast.

I would have said the exact same about a certain guy - sure I dropped loads of hints, he knows. When I did just straight out to him turns out he hadn't seen them the same way I did. Perception is a funny thing. And I'll be harsh here - if you do like her what is the point in hanging around? Chances are she'll get with someone else and you lose your chance.

Dancing With Myself wrote: »

I admire that the fact that you(as a girl) would be willing to initiate things in a similar situation with a with a guy. But girls aren't like that in Ireland. You think the guys in this country lack confidence... the girls do too, to such an extent that they sometimes don't even know how to say 'yes' when they actually are asked. Hence the drunken Irish

Ah flippin hell that's a load of bull - girls do as hell know how to say yes when they are asked. 9 times out of 10 if they hesitate it's coz they want to say no but don't want to neccesarily crap on someone from a great height. Get over the whole drunken Irish thing - it's an excuse. Trust me, you're less likely to get a positive response if you lurch over to a girl drunk and make a stupid remark than if you pull her aside on the way out of college and say something like "look I was wondering if you'd like to get a drink sometime".

What exactly are you expecting to happen? Do you think that magically you'll just end up together? You say that most girls wouldn't have the confidence to ask someone out so despite your hinting, by your logic, she ain't ever going to say anything. Therefore it's up to you.

Dancing With Myself · 21-11-2013 05:36PM

witchgirl26 wrote: »

I would have said the exact same about a certain guy - sure I dropped loads of hints, he knows. When I did just straight out to him turns out he hadn't seen them the same way I did. Perception is a funny thing. And I'll be harsh here - if you do like her what is the point in hanging around? Chances are she'll get with someone else and you lose your chance.

Well, one thing is for sure and that's that I don't view it as a race between me and other guys. A girl's odds of being in a relationship are the same at any given time. You could argue the opposite by saying maybe she's in a relationship now, and that by the time I ask her out, she'll happen to have broken it off. Yes, she may have had 'the ride' between now and when I ask her out, but that won't bother me because I'm not in love with her. It's not that I like her.. more that I like IT(the situation between us). She's the only hot girl that I come into close proximity with at the moment

LordSutch · 21-11-2013 05:40PM

Dancing With Myself wrote: »

When I hear girls talking about boys

I think of Blur "Girls & Boys" . . .

[Chorus]
Girls who are boys
Who like boys to be girls
Who do boys like they're girls
Who do girls like they're boys
Always should be someone you really love

witchgirl26 · 21-11-2013 05:41PM

Dancing With Myself wrote: »

Well, one thing is for sure and that's that I don't view it as a race between me and other guys. A girl's odds of being in a relationship are the same at any given time. You could argue the opposite by saying maybe she's in a relationship now, and that by the time I ask her out, she'll happen to have broken it off. Yes, she may have had 'the ride' between now and when I ask her out, but that won't bother me because I'm not in love with her. It's not that I like her.. more that I like IT(the situation between us). She's the only hot girl that I come into close proximity with at the moment

Oh flippin hell - if you want to get with that say something. Otherwise, as I said before, stop with the "woe is me". And honestly from what you've said - the situation between you appears to be either all on your side or in your head. Her moving away to talk about something private to do with a guy does not indicate anything except a private conversation.

If you do want to get with her then get off your ass, stop making excuses, grow a pair and say something. If she says no thanks then she'll still be the only hot girl you come into close proximity with at the moment so that's not going to change. She won't transfer course or something and the world will not end.

The Dom · 21-11-2013 05:42PM

Dancing With Myself wrote: »

she may have had 'the ride' between now and when I ask her out, but that won't bother me

You say that.

old hippy · 21-11-2013 05:46PM

Dancing With Myself wrote: »

I admire that the fact that you(as a girl) would be willing to initiate things in a similar situation with a with a guy. But girls aren't like that in Ireland. You think the guys in this country lack confidence... the girls do too, to such an extent that they sometimes don't even know how to say 'yes' when they actually are asked. Hence the drunken Irish

OP are you somehow posting from 1953?

Dancing With Myself · 21-11-2013 05:48PM

witchgirl26 wrote: »

Oh flippin hell - if you want to get with that say something. Otherwise, as I said before, stop with the "woe is me".

If you do want to get with her then get off your ass, stop making excuses, grow a pair and say something. If she says no thanks then she'll still be the only hot girl you come into close proximity with at the moment so that's not going to change. She won't transfer course or something and the world will not end.

I didn't know what "woe is me" meant then. I thought I was doing well though.. not to let her distract me. I am prioritizing well at the moment, and at the end of the day the whole world does not revolve around her vagina. I will do this my way!

Also: she didn't move away.

Dancing With Myself · 21-11-2013 05:51PM

The Dom wrote: »

You say that.

Yes, I bloody well did say that. If I was that sort of person, I'd be worrying constantly!

witchgirl26 · 21-11-2013 05:56PM

Dancing With Myself wrote: »

I didn't know what "woe is me" meant then. I thought I was doing well though.. not to let her distract me. I am prioritizing well at the moment, and at the end of the day the whole world does not revolve around her vagina. I will do this my way!

Also: she didn't move away.

Sorry you did say

Dancing With Myself wrote: »

The girl in question then said "I'll tell you later" which I didn't mind. It means she was aware of my presence.

. Indicating that somehow her being aware of another person in the area was an indication of something.

I'm not saying everything revolves around getting some but if you will bring it up on a public forum - expect comments. And in fairness your way sounds like you'll have them flocking to you in no time - with all their psychic powers of knowing that you want them without you actually saying anything.

It means feeling sorry for yourself. And yeah obviously not getting to you at all with creating a thread on boards about it. :rolleyes:

Femme_Fatale · 22-11-2013 03:28AM

Girls who don't fancy guys who fancy them are selfish bitches.

bigron2109 · 22-11-2013 03:56AM

Your username suits you op.

JimmyCrackCorn · 22-11-2013 04:39AM

Dancing With Myself wrote: »

Does it annoy anyone when you hear girls who you fancy talking about boy problems in your presence. Does it make you think or remind you of the fact that they don't even notice you in that way. I once felt saying "hello, did it ever occur to you that maybe I might fancy you too". What's a player supposed to do in this situation.

I heard a girl recently that I have my eye on talking to another girl in this sort of way. This girl definitely knows I have a thing for her, even though I never showed her. I was hovering about the area for another reason minding my own business and I heard her talking/answering to the other girl in a reluctant sort of way. The other girl was unaware of the situation between us. The girl in question then said "I'll tell you later" which I didn't mind. It means she was aware of my presence. They could have just continued on talking, or worse.. started talking to me about this guy!!!!

Its called being a friend. You obviously never told her you want more and let it become friends.

You just cant whip it out now and tell her you have feelings out of the blue.
Give the lass a bit of a heads up or you'll freak her out.

Bajee · 22-11-2013 08:31AM

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

Girls who don't fancy guys who fancy them are selfish bitches.

Yeah. But the ones with lazy vageens do ! Aye aye !

Soft Falling Rain · 22-11-2013 09:12AM

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

Girls who don't fancy guys who fancy them are selfish bitches.

Whoever said that? I'b be surprised if many over 23 think like that to be honest.

When I hear girls talking about boys

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