Inspiring piece from Conor Cusack on depression

Talib Fiasco · 30-10-2013 10:03AM

Incredible article, honestly one of the finest articles I've ever read. It's chilling on how relatable his article is. I'm delighted this is getting so much exposure as well. If more well known people did things like this then maybe we'll actually open up and accept depression as a normal thing and not something to be hidden away and gossiped about.

RikkFlair · 30-10-2013 11:33AM

RTE player link for anyone who didn't see it.

http://www.rte.ie/news/player/2013/1029/20463138-conor-cusack-speaks-out-about-mental-health-and-depression/

mickells35 · 30-10-2013 01:19PM

well done Conor..thanks for sharing

[-0-] · 30-10-2013 01:35PM

Didn't see the thread - sorry! Just posted it in DeV's depression thread.

I Heart Internet · 30-10-2013 01:47PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4N22RVO9FEg

Here's the clip of Conor from last night's Primetime.

Outstanding insight and goodness.

Even if you take the subject matter out of it (which is vitally important of course) it is a pretty outstanding interview performance. Gets his message across and has everyone hanging on his every word. What a pro!

As someone who has had a brush with anxiety, I can only echo his words on speaking to people about it. I personally found that a GP visit led to an (almost immeadiate) link up with a HSE (phsycologist I think) professsional who listened and taught me about CBT. I also took SSRI medication for 9 months or so. Can't recommend the CBT highly enough and have no doubt the medication played a role too....can't say how much though tbh.

Wnter · 30-10-2013 01:55PM

This is fantastic, and so honestly written.

His ability to share his vulnerability is admirable, and it's things like this that really do help those suffering from depression or anxiety.

I'm really glad I took the time to read this, thanks so much for sharing

fuzzy dunlops cousin · 30-10-2013 02:57PM

I've had depression and anxiety issues for most of my life, only got help for it this year when I more or less had a breakdown, I started writing during depressive episodes, just letting it out and the one thing that most people who have read connects with is this one,

I am in darkness with only a candle to light my way.
The flame is fragile, so easily extinguished.
Darkness now envelopes.
I fumble about trying to find a match.
What is it in the darkness with me?
The thing I fear the most.
Myself.

I really recommend writing, it's helped me a lot, just letting things out.

bigpink · 30-10-2013 03:11PM

How did this guy come to light?Only heard of him yesterday

Fentdog84 · 30-10-2013 03:22PM

bigpink wrote: »

How did this guy come to light?Only heard of him yesterday

His a brother of Donal Og Cusack, the Cork hurler

Aglomerado · 30-10-2013 04:54PM

Fair play and good luck to him. I could identify with almost every word.

Glad he is still with us today to share his story and show fellow depressives that there is hope.

lukesmom · 30-10-2013 05:48PM

Know too well how he feels. Was hospitalised in a psychiatric unit three times last spring/summer. From April to august I couldn't look after my kids and spent 6 weeks in hospital. It took 3 and a half months for me to start getting better. I thought there was no hope for me either. I know the utter despair he speaks of. It's the darkest place I've ever seen. I'm lucky I kept going until they found the right med combination for me and psychotherapy. I wouldn't be here today with my husband and children if I hadn't remained strong. I know he says he was on 18 tablets and that is a lot. I myself take 3 a day. I hope people are inspired by his blog and take comfort in the fact that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel however dark it may seem. I also hope people aren't put off medication either as it has it's place for mental health issues. Suicide, however appealing it seems at the time it is not the answer. Something inside me knew it wasn't. Everybody deserves a life and there is help out there so talk to someone if you are feeling down or anxious, please talk.

bigpink · 30-10-2013 08:11PM

It was brave to go to the media like that

Frank Lee Midere · 30-10-2013 08:15PM

It was brave. He is also an excellent writer.

bigpink · 30-10-2013 08:29PM

Cause the media would be slow to take on real life story from an average person

hfallada · 30-10-2013 08:32PM

For a country that likes to label its self as "liberal". Mental health issues are never discussed in Ireland or if they are its some ****ed up understanding of them given. Conor is a brave man to talk about it openly.

beks101 · 30-10-2013 08:45PM

bigpink wrote: »

Cause the media would be slow to take on real life story from an average person

I don't agree really. I think someone with the level of craft, articulation, skill and talent that Conor Cusack has in his writing will always have a voice in mainstream media. A piece of writing that honest, frank and compelling will always be recognized.

And secondly - I say fair play to him for using his (relatively low profile) fame as means of attracting attention to this issue. Too many people haven't, don't and won't. (Even though it's statistically something that everyone of us is affected by in some way.) Because it's terrifying, massively risky and always open to misinterpretation/judgement by the general public.

Fair play to him, he's done his own part in making this something we can talk about in Ireland as straight-forwardly as we would cancer, diabetes or arthritis.

Fentdog84 · 30-10-2013 09:00PM

hfallada wrote: »

For a country that likes to label its self as "liberal". Mental health issues are never discussed in Ireland or if they are its some ****ed up understanding of them given. Conor is a brave man to talk about it openly.

I almost found myself in shock watching it. Which goes to show how something so common can be so taboo. Society is so worried about perceptions and keeping ''a brave face'' on things it almost seems to be a crime for a person to express how they really feel or whats going on in their heads.

zetecescort · 30-10-2013 09:10PM

Final paragraph, going to print it and stick it to the back of the bedroom door so I see it every morning.

Thanks Conor

An old saying goes ‘there is a safety in being hidden, but a tragedy never to be found’. You are too precious and important to your family, your friends, your community, to yourself, to stay hidden. In the history of the world and for the rest of time, there will never again be another you. You are a once off, completely unique. The real you awaits within to be found but to get there requires a journey inwards . A boat is at its safest when it is in the harbour but that’s not what it was built to do. We are the same. Your journey in will unearth buried truths and unspoken fears. A new strength will emerge to help you to head into the choppy waters of your painful past. Eventually you will discover a place of peace within yourself, a place that encourages you to head out into the world and live your life fully. The world will no longer be a frightening place to live in for you.

The most important thing is to take the first step. Please take it.

Diabhal Beag · 30-10-2013 09:19PM

Can only imagine how proud his mother is. Very progressive family clearly. Brilliant article and very timely.

Frank Lee Midere · 30-10-2013 09:37PM

hfallada wrote: »

For a country that likes to label its self as "liberal". Mental health issues are never discussed in Ireland or if they are its some ****ed up understanding of them given. Conor is a brave man to talk about it openly.

To be fair we discuss them a lot.

yermandan · 30-10-2013 09:39PM

cried my eyes out on the train home reading this

bigpink · 30-10-2013 09:43PM

A lot more people talking about it the last few years alright

Femme_Fatale · 30-10-2013 10:18PM

Yeh I think the stigma has lessened considerably, even though I know it's not gone completely. Rome wasn't built in a day though.

Brilliantly written piece though. What a gift for writing he has.

hfallada · 30-10-2013 11:12PM

Frank Lee Midere wrote: »

To be fair we discuss them a lot.

I know people my age in their early twenty discuss their problems with alcohol and drugs. They will discuss their serious issues with anger. But only once I have I heard someone talking about their mental health issue. I know people will acknowledge family member killed by road accidents but ignore people who died by suicide.

Yes we talk about mental health issues, but not enough for it to make a serious difference.

lukesmom · 30-10-2013 11:20PM

Part of the problem I think is that people often associate mental health issues with terms like:

Mad, crazy, nuts, lost the plot, gone in the head, Nuthouse, madhouse, looneybin etc.

When depression and anxiety does not make or lead to any of the above. But these are terms associated with mental health issues and they're extremely derogatory and hurtful to those of us who have had depression.

lukesmom · 30-10-2013 11:30PM

SimonQuinlank wrote: »

I have pretty bad depression and anxiety at the moment,and have had for the last few years and I didn't find the piece particularly inspiring.

I've tried getting help in the past through the HSE (CBT,various meds,mindfulness/meditation) but nothing really worked.I don't have the money or family connections to see a private clinical psychologist like Conor mentions in his article either.

No point in going back to the GP for another HSE day clinic referral,just to repeat all the things that didn't work the first time when I actually had hope that I could be 'fixed'.

Fair play to him for getting himself sorted all the same though,seems like a nice lad.

Simon I'm sorry to hear this.
Please consider going back to your gp, you owe it to yourself to try again. Everybody deserves to be happy. I nearly gave up the fight myself after trying so many different treatments but I persisted and am living a happy life now. I'm stronger for having gone through it and you can overcome this. Please realise you can and WILL overcome this depression. Do it for yourself. Give the gp another chance to help you and keep on trying Simon. Never ever ever give up.

beks101 · 30-10-2013 11:33PM

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

Yeh I think the stigma has lessened considerably, even though I know it's not gone completely. Rome wasn't built in a day though.

I agree, I think it's important to acknowledge how far we have come in the last decade or so too.

My grandmother "suffered with her nerves" when my Dad was a child, himself and his brother essentially raised themselves as she was permanently in and out of hospital for most of his youth. The family didn't talk about it and her death was attributed to her "poor immune system...she was always quite sick" etc etc. No mention of mental illness until I probed about it a while ago.

I have a friend who only discovered he has an aunt on his father's side of the family a few years ago. She had a nervous breakdown as a child and was committed to an asylum, essentially locked up and never seen again.

So while there's still a LONG way to go in de-stigmatizing mental health, (even in the language used to talk about it - negative reporting plays a big role: this is a useful link - http://www.headline.ie/mediaInfo/ ) I think the fact that we ARE talking about it, writing about it, reading about it, reporting on it - increasingly - is something to be heralded.

Red21 · 31-10-2013 02:12AM

I believe, the vast majority of people suffering with depesssion/anxiety will try and hide it from their co-workers/friends/family (possible exception of other half) for as long as possible. While families sweeping mental health secrets under the carpet has died off, i'm not sure how that translates to a person suffering with depression feeling free to talk about it to loved ones.
Like most on here I also believe Conor Cusack is very brave, but the disheartening part is that we're saying, the bravest of men had to be brought to his knees before he was willing to open up.
Over the last number of years the media are increasingly talking-up the freedom of individuals nowadays to talk about these issues, if thats true, I havn't seen it in everyday life. Two friends of mine who died by sucide never mentioned depression they kept up the front until the end, Conor Cusack, left it go way too late,he almost died. The bulk of whats written and being read online about mental health problems is done so anonymously, that can hardly be seen as progressive in relation to openness.
I've no doubt Conor's words will help people suffering, but ultimately will people like Conor, Bressie and many more who open up on t.v. help create a society where openness about our deepest personal feelings is a non-issue for the average man/woman on the street, I doubt it.
We're educated to compete and compare, we live in an increaslingly competive society, people put themselves under all kinds of presure to appear like, " it's all going well and to plan" so long as this is the case nobody's gonna wanna talk about the bad stuff. Waiting til you've a breakdown thats too late.

K-9 · 31-10-2013 03:26AM

Had to smile when he wrote he never knew what depression was and associated it with "suffering with his nerves".

That's the term when I was young I'd have known, that and a nervous breakdown.

Don't think I've heard both those terms in a good few years, so that's a good sign stigmas are getting broken down.

K-9 · 31-10-2013 03:34AM

Red21 wrote: »

I believe, the vast majority of people suffering with depesssion/anxiety will try and hide it from their co-workers/friends/family (possible exception of other half) for as long as possible. While families sweeping mental health secrets under the carpet has died off, i'm not sure how that translates to a person suffering with depression feeling free to talk about it to loved ones.
Like most on here I also believe Conor Cusack is very brave, but the disheartening part is that we're saying, the bravest of men had to be brought to his knees before he was willing to open up.
Over the last number of years the media are increasingly talking-up the freedom of individuals nowadays to talk about these issues, if thats true, I havn't seen it in everyday life. Two friends of mine who died by sucide never mentioned depression they kept up the front until the end, Conor Cusack, left it go way too late,he almost died. The bulk of whats written and being read online about mental health problems is done so anonymously, that can hardly be seen as progressive in relation to openness.
I've no doubt Conor's words will help people suffering, but ultimately will people like Conor, Bressie and many more who open up on t.v. help create a society where openness about our deepest personal feelings is a non-issue for the average man/woman on the street, I doubt it.
We're educated to compete and compare, we live in an increaslingly competive society, people put themselves under all kinds of presure to appear like, " it's all going well and to plan" so long as this is the case nobody's gonna wanna talk about the bad stuff. Waiting til you've a breakdown thats too late.

Unfortunately part of the disease itself is putting on a front to family members, friends etc. The worst I ever got was getting a bout of crying, just started balling my eyes out, never really expected it, there wasn't any real trigger as the professionals ask, I just started crying for no real reason whatsoever.

The next contact I had with family, friends or work, it never happened. It hasn't happened to this day because I've never told anybody about it. Family and friends thought I was getting on great because once I saw them, I was great again, the old me, having the craic, chatting about the news and the football. Just back to normal life again.

Sure I even fool myself and a couple of weeks later..............

Inspiring piece from Conor Cusack on depression

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