Inspiring piece from Conor Cusack on depression

Red Crow

Here is an inspiring piece from Conor Cusacks blog about his experience with depression. Well-written and inspiring.
This is something I think everyone should read.

I still remember the moment well. It was a wet, cold, grey Friday morning. I rose out of bed having had no sleep the night before. Panic attacks are horrific experiences by day, by night they are even worse. As I drove to work on my trusted Honda 50, a group of my friends passed in their car heading to college. They all smiled and waved and looked so happy. I smiled and waved and acted happy. I had loved and excelled in school but it was the same with my hurling, it was the same with my friends, it was the same with my family, it was the same with the people of Cloyne, it was the same with life, I had lost interest in all of them. Losing interest in people was the worst. Where once I would have felt sadness at seeing my friends heading to where I had always wanted to go, I now didn’t. Something much larger, deeper, darker had taken hold of my mind and sadness, despair, hopelessness were not strong enough to survive alongside what I was feeling.

They say something has to crack to allow the light in. At about 11am that morning, I finally cracked. I couldn’t do it anymore, all my strength at keeping up my pretence had gone. I curled up in the corner of the building and began to cry. One of the lads working with me came over and he didn’t know what to do. I asked him to take me home. The GP called to my house and prescribed some sleeping pills and arranged for me to be sent to the hospital for some tests.

I spent a week there and they done every test imaginable. Physically, I was in perfect health. I was diagnosed with suffering from ‘Depression’ or in laymans terms, that awful phrase ‘of suffering with his nerves’. I had never heard of the word before.

I was sent to see a psychiatrist in my local day care hospital. I was 19 years of age in a waiting room surrounded by people much older than I was. Surely I am not the only young person suffering from depression, I thought to myself. There was a vacant look in all of their eyes, a hollowness, an emptiness, the feeling of darkness pervaded the room. The psychiatrist explained that there might be a chemical imbalance in my brain, asked me my symptoms and prescribed a mixture of anti depressants, anxiety and sleeping pills based on what I told him. He explained that it would take time to get the right cocktail of tablets for my type of depression. I had an uneasy feeling about the whole thing. Something deep inside in me told me this wasn’t the way forward and this wasn’t what I needed. As I walked out a group of people in another room with intellectual disabilities were doing various things. One man had a teaching device in front of him and he was trying to put a square piece into a round hole. It summed up perfectly what I felt had just happened to me.

I now stayed in my room all day, only leaving it to go to the bathroom. I locked the door and it was only opened to allow my mother bring me some food. I didn’t want to speak to anybody. The only time I left the house was on a Thursday morning to visit the psychiatrist. When everbody had left to go to work and school, my Mother would bring me my breakfast. I cried nearly all the time. Sometimes she would sit there and cry with me, other times talk with me and hold my hand, tell me that she would do anything to help me get better, other times just sit there quietly whilst I ate the food.

Depression is difficult to explain to people. If you have experienced it there is no need, if you haven’t, I don’t think there are words adequate to describe its horror. I have had a lot of injuries playing hurling, snapped cruciates, broken bones in my hands 11 times, had my lips sliced in half and all my upper teeth blown out with a dirty pull but none of them come anywhere near the physical pain and mental torture of depression. It permeates every part of your being, from your head to your toes. It is never ending, waves and waves of utter despair and hopelessness and fear and darkness flood throughout your whole body. You crave for peace but even sleep doesn’t afford that. It wrecks your dreams and turns your days into a living nightmare. It destroys your personality, your relationship with your family and friends, your work, your sporting life, it affects them all. Your ability to give and receive affection is gone. You tear at your skin and your hair with frustration. You cut yourself to give some form of physical expression to the incredible pain you feel. You want to grab it and smash it, but you can’t get a hold of it. You go to sleep hoping, praying not to wake up. You rack your brain seeing is there something you done in your life that justifies this suffering. You wonder why God is not answering your pleas for relief and you wonder is he there at all or has he forgotten about you. And through it all remains the darkness. It’s as if someone placed a veil over your soul and never returned to remove it. This endless, black, never ending tunnel of darkness.

I had been five months in my room now. I had watched the summer turn into the autumn and then to Winter through my bedroom window. One of the most difficult things was watching my teammates parade through the town after winning the U21 championship through it. That was the real world out there. In here in my room was a living hell. I was now on about 18 tablets a day and not getting better but worse. I was eating very little but the medication was ballooning my weight to nearly twenty stone. I was sent to see another psychiatrist and another doctor who suggested electric shock therapy which I flatly refused. It was obvious to me I was never going to get better. My desire for death was now much stronger than my desire for living so I made a decision.

I had been contemplating suicide for a while now and when I finally decided and planned it out, a strange thing happened. A peace that I hadn’t experienced for a long time entered my mind and body. For the first time in years, I could get a good night’s sleep. It was as if my body realized that this pain it was going through was about to end and it went into relax mode. I had the rope hidden in my room. I knew there was a game on a Saturday evening and that my father and the lads would be gone to that. After my Mother and sister would be gone to Mass, I would drive to the location and hang myself. I didn’t feel any anxiety about it. It would solve everything, I thought. No more pain, both for me and my family. They were suffering as well as I was and I felt with me gone, it would make life easier for them. How wrong I would have been. I have seen the effects and damage suicide has on families. It is far,far greater than anything endured while living and helping a person with depression.

For some reason my Mother never went to Mass. I don’t know why but she didn’t go. It was a decision on her part that saved my life.

The following week, a family that I had worked for when I was younger heard about me being unwell. They rang my Mother and told them that they knew a clinical psychologist working in a private practice that they felt could help me. I had built up my hopes too many times over the last number of months that a new doctor, a new tablet, a new treatment was going to help and had them dashed when he or it failed to help me. I wasn’t going through it again. My mother pleaded to give him a try and eventually I agreed. It was a decision on my part that would save my life.

After meeting Tony, I instantly knew this was what I had been searching for. It was the complete opposite of what I felt when I was being prescribed tablets and electric shock therapy. We sat opposite each other in a converted cottage at the side of his house with a fire lighting in the corner. He looked at me with his warm eyes and said ‘I hear you haven’t been too well. How are you feeling’. It wasn’t even the question, it was the way he asked it. I looked at him for about a minute or so and I began to cry. When the tears stopped, I talked and he listened intently. Driving home with my mother that night, I cried again but it wasn’t tears of sadness, it was tears of joy. I knew that evening I was going to better. There was finally a chink of light in the darkness.

Therapy is a challenging experience. It’s not easy baring your soul. When you sit in front of another human being and discuss things you have never discussed with anyone, it can be quite scary. Paulo Coelho says in one of his books that ‘A man is at his strongest when he is willing to be vulnerable’. Sadly, society conditions men to be the opposite and views vulnerability as a weakness. For therapy to work, a person has to be willing to be vulnerable. Within a week, I was off all medication. For me, medication was never the answer. My path back to health was one of making progress, then slipping and making progress again. It was far from straightforward.

I had to face up to memories I had buried from being bullied quite a lot when I was a young kid. Some of it occurred in primary school, others in secondary. It was raw and emotional re-visiting those times but it had to be done.

A lot of my identity was tied up with hurling and it was an un-healthy relationship. The ironic thing is that as I began to live my life more from the inside out and appreciate and value myself for being me and not needing hurling for my self esteem, I loved the game more than ever. I got myself super fit and my weight down to 13 and a half stone. I made the Cloyne Senior team and went on to play with the Cork Senior hurling team, making a cameo appearance in the final of 2006. It is still one of the biggest joys of my life playing hurling with Cloyne, despite losing three County finals and an All-Ireland with Cork. Being involved with the Cloyne team was a huge aid in my recovery and my teammates gave me great support during that time.

I went back to serve my time as an electrician. I went to college by night and re-discovered my joy of learning. I work for a great company and have a good life now. I finished therapy in 2004. I have not had a panic attack in that time and have not missed a day’s work because of depression since then.

I came to realise that depression was not my enemy but my friend. I don’t say this lightly. I know the damage it does to people and the lives it has wrecked and is wrecking so I am only talking for myself. How can you say something that nearly killed you was your friend? The best coaches I have ever dealt with are those that tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. You mightn’t like it at the time but after or maybe years later, you know they were right. I believe depression is a message from a part of your being to tell you something in your life isn’t right and you need to look at it. It forced me to stop and seek within for answers and that is where they are. It encouraged me to look at my inner life and free myself from the things that were preventing me from expressing my full being. The poet David Whyte says ‘the soul would much rather fail at its own life than succeed at someone else’s’.

This is an ongoing process. I am still far from living a fully, authentic life but I am very comfortable now in my own skin. Once or twice a year, especially when I fall into old habits, my ‘friend’ pays me a visit. I don’t push him away or ignore him. I sit with him in a chair in a quiet room and allow him to come. I sit with the feeling. Sometimes I cry, other times I smile at how accurate his message is. He might stay for an hour, he might stay for a day. He gives his message and moves on. He reminds me to stay true to myself and keep in touch with my real self. A popular quote from the Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu is ‘a journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step’. A correct translation of the original Chinese though is ‘a journey of a thousand miles begins beneath one’s feet’. Lao Tzu believed that action was something that arose naturally from stillness. When you can sit and be with yourself, it is a wonderful gift and real and authentic action flows from it.

Many, many people are living lives of quiet misery. I get calls from people on the phone and to my house because people in my area will know my story. Sometimes it is for themselves, other times it is asking if I would talk to another person. I’m not a doctor or a therapist and anyone I talk to in distress, I always encourage them to go to both but people find it easier at first to talk to someone who has been in their shoes. It is incredible the amount of people it affects. Depression affects all types of people, young and old, working and not working, wealthy and poor.

For those people who are currently gripped by depression, either experiencing it or are supporting or living with someone with it, I hope my story helps. There is no situation that is without hope, there is no person that can’t overcome their present difficulties. For those that are suffering silently, there is help out there and you are definitely not alone. Everything you need to succeed is already within you and you have all the answers to your own issues. A good therapist will facilitate that process. My mother always says ‘a man’s courage is his greatest asset’. It is an act of courage and strength, not weakness, to admit you are struggling. It is an act of courage to seek help. It is an act of courage to face up to your problems.

An old saying goes ‘there is a safety in being hidden, but a tragedy never to be found’. You are too precious and important to your family, your friends, your community, to yourself, to stay hidden. In the history of the world and for the rest of time, there will never again be another you. You are a once off, completely unique. The real you awaits within to be found but to get there requires a journey inwards . A boat is at its safest when it is in the harbour but that’s not what it was built to do. We are the same. Your journey in will unearth buried truths and unspoken fears. A new strength will emerge to help you to head into the choppy waters of your painful past. Eventually you will discover a place of peace within yourself, a place that encourages you to head out into the world and live your life fully. The world will no longer be a frightening place to live in for you.

The most important thing is to take the first step. Please take it.

http://ccusack111.blogspot.ie/2013/10/depression-is-friend-not-my-enemy_28.html

I Heart Internet

Good advice. Well done Conor for sharing.

Red Crow

I Heart Internet wrote: »

Good advice. Well done Conor for sharing.

It's a great piece and everybody should take a look at it. Massive credit to Conor too for sharing.

Pj!

Great piece. Hopefully somebody finds some light from it.

SeaFields

Pj! wrote: »

Hopefully somebody finds some light from it.

Although he will probably never know, Conor has saved lives writing that piece. The article has gone viral. Its all over facebook and the like. It's honesty is humbling.

This is the bit that rang most true for me....

It destroys your personality

And this is the part that I think anyone who ever describes someone who commits/tries to commit suicide as selfish needs to read, over, and over, and over again. This is what someone in that horrible place really believes. That they are doing what is best for everyone. They are wrong, of course, but they believe in their heart and in their head, that they are right.

It would solve everything, I thought. No more pain, both for me and my family. They were suffering as well as I was and I felt with me gone, it would make life easier for them.

Sauve

Fantastic piece. Thanks OP

listermint

Perhaps this article should be given a sticky on all forums for boards for a day.

Embrace depression for a day so to speak.


Genuinely if these things help even one person come to terms with seeking assistance they are worth their weight in gold.

Hersheys

Everything Conor says rings true.

_Whimsical_

What a fantastic piece. I think it really highlights the struggle people face with depression and also the insight and strength people can gain from suffering and coming through it. I think so often people think depression or struggle is a diminishing or weakening experience but for Conor and lot of other people they emerge from very hard times wiser for their own lives and with even more to offer other people in terms of compassion and help.

Ihatecuddles-old

I love reading other peoples experience of depression, I feel like they put into words something that I never could.

Really great read, I actually laughed at the parts I shouldnt laugh at, because I feel like he read my mind in a way. You feel so alone in your depression, and yet I relate to his experience so well.

hatrickpatrick

He explained that it would take time to get the right cocktail of tablets for my type of depression. I had an uneasy feeling about the whole thing. Something deep inside in me told me this wasn’t the way forward and this wasn’t what I needed.

I'll be honest, this is the reason that I'm tackling (or dare I say 'have tackled'?) my depression entirely without the involvement of medical professionals at all. Now I know my mistrust of medicine and psychiatry and the reasons thereof are well known so I won't get into it, but this paragraph perfectly sums up exactly why I, and I suspect so many others with obvious depression or bipolar decide to try an go it alone with self help and non-medical intervention right from the start.

Mind altering medication is far too pervasive in today's society and aside from te horrific side effects and withdrawal symptoms we all know about, they've always seemed to me to be designed to treat only the symptoms of depression but not the origins.

Now I'm extremely stubborn and persistent and that probably makes it easier for me to self treat these things (if I decide to do something I won't quit until I do it) - I'm absolutely not advocating it for anyone else - but I think this is important as I suspect others feel the same way. When people tell you "you should see a doctor" or "try counselling", there's a reason so many people don't want to do it, and it has nothing to do with not being bothered. The thought of either having ones psyche dissected by a complete stranger, or having their personality chemically altered using chemicals the side effects of which are widely documented, is far, far more terrifying to some of us than the depression itself.

Just think this is important to say as I see the standard "get professional help" reply to depression thrown around as quickly as "Hello, IT, have you tried turning it off and on again" these days, and for a lot of people it's just not helpful.

johnayo

This piece is so powerful. It takes real courage to bare your feelings and thoughts in public to such an extent. Well done Conor. I'm sure this piece will help many in the future.

LynnGrace

An extraordinary and powerful piece of writing. Thanks OP for posting this.

anto9

I NEVER FELT DEPRESSION THAT STRONGLY BUT CAN UNDERSTAND THE LAD a lot .There but for the grace of God/Buddha etc .

Red Crow

LynnGrace wrote: »

An extraordinary and powerful piece of writing. Thanks OP for posting this.

I've never experienced depression myself but I have family members who have. It's empowering to read such a heartfelt inspirational story.

It's also one of the best written pieces I've read in a long time

eigrod

Conor will be on Prime Time tonight discussing this.

thetoffeeman

It was a fascinating eyeopening read over my first coffee this morning. I thought my depression was bad until i read Conors blog. It is a no-holds-barred from the heart (or the mind), and comes in the shadow of Niall Donoghues sad passing. We get famous and prominent sports stars coming into classes these days, and the whole topic is about winning, nobody wants to know about the "dark side". But this is what these sports men and women should do, tell the adolescents that it ain't all about being at the top. The lesson should be, its alright to feel bad about things, but please, please, let somebody know you feel like that. These young people should know that there are people who will listen out there.
While those sportsman who get to the top need managers,therapists, physios, team-mates to get them to the top, the young person who is in the depths of despair, needs only one thing- a friend.

LynnGrace

SeaFields wrote: »

Although he will probably never know, Conor has saved lives writing that piece. It's honesty is humbling.

That was how I felt reading it, the sheer honesty of it is humbling. It is a beautifully written piece, I have read and reread it. I believe that it will help people, and I hope that it does.

stateofflux

in tears reading this, very close to the bone but inspiring and hopeful....i hope it goes viral and helps as many people as possible who are in a similar situation.

Wibbs

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

I'll be honest, this is the reason that I'm tackling (or dare I say 'have tackled'?) my depression entirely without the involvement of medical professionals at all. Now I know my mistrust of medicine and psychiatry and the reasons thereof are well known so I won't get into it, but this paragraph perfectly sums up exactly why I, and I suspect so many others with obvious depression or bipolar decide to try an go it alone with self help and non-medical intervention right from the start.

Mind altering medication is far too pervasive in today's society and aside from te horrific side effects and withdrawal symptoms we all know about, they've always seemed to me to be designed to treat only the symptoms of depression but not the origins.

Now I'm extremely stubborn and persistent and that probably makes it easier for me to self treat these things (if I decide to do something I won't quit until I do it) - I'm absolutely not advocating it for anyone else - but I think this is important as I suspect others feel the same way. When people tell you "you should see a doctor" or "try counselling", there's a reason so many people don't want to do it, and it has nothing to do with not being bothered. The thought of either having ones psyche dissected by a complete stranger, or having their personality chemically altered using chemicals the side effects of which are widely documented, is far, far more terrifying to some of us than the depression itself.

Just think this is important to say as I see the standard "get professional help" reply to depression thrown around as quickly as "Hello, IT, have you tried turning it off and on again" these days, and for a lot of people it's just not helpful.

While I may not agree with you on some of it HP, it's a valuable insight into another angle.

A popular quote from the Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu is ‘a journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step’. A correct translation of the original Chinese though is ‘a journey of a thousand miles begins beneath one’s feet’. Lao Tzu believed that action was something that arose naturally from stillness. When you can sit and be with yourself, it is a wonderful gift and real and authentic action flows from it.

QFT and that the power to change things is so within you. You really do have that power, the condition being the bastard it is tries to steal that from you. But it can't, because it's not it's to take. IMVHO that's about the worst aspect of this illness and as whoopsie said earlier it steals that knowledge from you. It attempts to steal that very real power from you, but don't listen to it, because it's talking shíte. And what should you do when a thief comes in talking shíte? Ignore them, look for the help that's there to beat the crap outa them and take what is rightfully yours back.

rogieop

Just watching this man on prime time. What a man he is. Fair play to him for getting up on telly and talking like that.

Really moving.

grenache

After watching him now, Conor Cusack is my hero.

Gerry91

Conor Cusack- an absolute inspiration

Wonderfully spoken. True hero

eigrod

Powerful. Every sentence delivered a powerful message to the viewer.

woodoo

Excellent piece by Conor. That message about not staying hidden is an important one. Depression can make you hide away but its damaging in the long run.

SimonQuinlank

I have pretty bad depression and anxiety at the moment,and have had for the last few years and I didn't find the piece particularly inspiring.

I've tried getting help in the past through the HSE (CBT,various meds,mindfulness/meditation) but nothing really worked.I don't have the money or family connections to see a private clinical psychologist like Conor mentions in his article either.

No point in going back to the GP for another HSE day clinic referral,just to repeat all the things that didn't work the first time when I actually had hope that I could be 'fixed'.

Fair play to him for getting himself sorted all the same though,seems like a nice lad.

brummytom

That was a fantastically moving and powerful read. Thanks for sharing, OP.

Tmeos

SimonQuinlank wrote: »

I have pretty bad depression and anxiety at the moment,and have had for the last few years and I didn't find the piece particularly inspiring.

I've tried getting help in the past through the HSE (CBT,various meds,mindfulness/meditation) but nothing really worked.I don't have the money or family connections to see a private clinical psychologist like Conor mentions in his article either.

No point in going back to the GP for another HSE day clinic referral,just to repeat all the things that didn't work the first time when I actually had hope that I could be 'fixed'.

Fair play to him for getting himself sorted all the same though,seems like a nice lad.

Simon, your hopeless is part of the disease and it's so painful. Just know that experiencing and expressing dark emotions is a strength not a weakness. I hope there comes a time that things get better for you

bigpink

I don't know who he is but that blog is gone viral so a lot of people reading it

Legs.Eleven

It's a real insight into depression for someone who doesn't suffer from it. I was so moved reading it and I now have some idea just how hard it is for depression sufferers and it's changed my perspective completely; it sounds like a living hell but the message he's given is that there's hope and I hope it hits home with at least a few people. Brilliant piece of writing.

Talib Fiasco

Incredible article, honestly one of the finest articles I've ever read. It's chilling on how relatable his article is. I'm delighted this is getting so much exposure as well. If more well known people did things like this then maybe we'll actually open up and accept depression as a normal thing and not something to be hidden away and gossiped about.

RikkFlair

RTE player link for anyone who didn't see it.

http://www.rte.ie/news/player/2013/1029/20463138-conor-cusack-speaks-out-about-mental-health-and-depression/

mickells35

well done Conor..thanks for sharing

[-0-]

Didn't see the thread - sorry! Just posted it in DeV's depression thread.

I Heart Internet

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4N22RVO9FEg

Here's the clip of Conor from last night's Primetime.

Outstanding insight and goodness.

Even if you take the subject matter out of it (which is vitally important of course) it is a pretty outstanding interview performance. Gets his message across and has everyone hanging on his every word. What a pro!

As someone who has had a brush with anxiety, I can only echo his words on speaking to people about it. I personally found that a GP visit led to an (almost immeadiate) link up with a HSE (phsycologist I think) professsional who listened and taught me about CBT. I also took SSRI medication for 9 months or so. Can't recommend the CBT highly enough and have no doubt the medication played a role too....can't say how much though tbh.

Wnter

This is fantastic, and so honestly written.

His ability to share his vulnerability is admirable, and it's things like this that really do help those suffering from depression or anxiety.

I'm really glad I took the time to read this, thanks so much for sharing

fuzzy dunlops cousin

I've had depression and anxiety issues for most of my life, only got help for it this year when I more or less had a breakdown, I started writing during depressive episodes, just letting it out and the one thing that most people who have read connects with is this one,

I am in darkness with only a candle to light my way.
The flame is fragile, so easily extinguished.
Darkness now envelopes.
I fumble about trying to find a match.
What is it in the darkness with me?
The thing I fear the most.
Myself.

I really recommend writing, it's helped me a lot, just letting things out.

bigpink

How did this guy come to light?Only heard of him yesterday

Fentdog84

bigpink wrote: »

How did this guy come to light?Only heard of him yesterday

His a brother of Donal Og Cusack, the Cork hurler

Aglomerado

Fair play and good luck to him. I could identify with almost every word.

Glad he is still with us today to share his story and show fellow depressives that there is hope.

lukesmom

Know too well how he feels. Was hospitalised in a psychiatric unit three times last spring/summer. From April to august I couldn't look after my kids and spent 6 weeks in hospital. It took 3 and a half months for me to start getting better. I thought there was no hope for me either. I know the utter despair he speaks of. It's the darkest place I've ever seen. I'm lucky I kept going until they found the right med combination for me and psychotherapy. I wouldn't be here today with my husband and children if I hadn't remained strong. I know he says he was on 18 tablets and that is a lot. I myself take 3 a day. I hope people are inspired by his blog and take comfort in the fact that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel however dark it may seem. I also hope people aren't put off medication either as it has it's place for mental health issues. Suicide, however appealing it seems at the time it is not the answer. Something inside me knew it wasn't. Everybody deserves a life and there is help out there so talk to someone if you are feeling down or anxious, please talk.

bigpink

It was brave to go to the media like that

Frank Lee Midere

It was brave. He is also an excellent writer.

bigpink

Cause the media would be slow to take on real life story from an average person

hfallada

For a country that likes to label its self as "liberal". Mental health issues are never discussed in Ireland or if they are its some ****ed up understanding of them given. Conor is a brave man to talk about it openly.

beks101

bigpink wrote: »

Cause the media would be slow to take on real life story from an average person

I don't agree really. I think someone with the level of craft, articulation, skill and talent that Conor Cusack has in his writing will always have a voice in mainstream media. A piece of writing that honest, frank and compelling will always be recognized.

And secondly - I say fair play to him for using his (relatively low profile) fame as means of attracting attention to this issue. Too many people haven't, don't and won't. (Even though it's statistically something that everyone of us is affected by in some way.) Because it's terrifying, massively risky and always open to misinterpretation/judgement by the general public.

Fair play to him, he's done his own part in making this something we can talk about in Ireland as straight-forwardly as we would cancer, diabetes or arthritis.

Fentdog84

hfallada wrote: »

For a country that likes to label its self as "liberal". Mental health issues are never discussed in Ireland or if they are its some ****ed up understanding of them given. Conor is a brave man to talk about it openly.

I almost found myself in shock watching it. Which goes to show how something so common can be so taboo. Society is so worried about perceptions and keeping ''a brave face'' on things it almost seems to be a crime for a person to express how they really feel or whats going on in their heads.

zetecescort

Final paragraph, going to print it and stick it to the back of the bedroom door so I see it every morning.

Thanks Conor

An old saying goes ‘there is a safety in being hidden, but a tragedy never to be found’. You are too precious and important to your family, your friends, your community, to yourself, to stay hidden. In the history of the world and for the rest of time, there will never again be another you. You are a once off, completely unique. The real you awaits within to be found but to get there requires a journey inwards . A boat is at its safest when it is in the harbour but that’s not what it was built to do. We are the same. Your journey in will unearth buried truths and unspoken fears. A new strength will emerge to help you to head into the choppy waters of your painful past. Eventually you will discover a place of peace within yourself, a place that encourages you to head out into the world and live your life fully. The world will no longer be a frightening place to live in for you.

The most important thing is to take the first step. Please take it.

Diabhal Beag

Can only imagine how proud his mother is. Very progressive family clearly. Brilliant article and very timely.

Frank Lee Midere

hfallada wrote: »

For a country that likes to label its self as "liberal". Mental health issues are never discussed in Ireland or if they are its some ****ed up understanding of them given. Conor is a brave man to talk about it openly.

To be fair we discuss them a lot.