My Swedish experience

grenache wrote: »

I'm a big fan of Europe, and our fellow Europeans. I have made friends across a wide spectrum of countries, from France to Ukraine, from Italy to Denmark. I've met warm lovely people from all countries and some assholes too. I regularly travel to Italy, and for me the best part about it is the warmth of the people there. Yes the scenery is stunning, the history, cuisine and weather too, but it's the people that really make the place. In the south particularly they are lovely and so welcoming. I've also had many positive experiences in Paris despite what people say about Parisians. I've never gone to a place thinking that everyone will be warm and welcoming, but you always hope that you'll meet enough decent folk to make your trip worthwhile.

I recently traveled to Sweden for the first time. I knew of the Swedes' reserved manner and shyness, as i lived with a Swedish guy a few years back and also worked with a few more. So i wasn't expecting people to be very out-going, but still i had basic expectations. But what i experienced there was not shyness or reserved emotion, it was just anti-social rudeness. The "hospitality" there is as warm as the weather. The whole experience really put me off the country. Some of the things i experienced:

1. Asking several people in both Stockholm and Gothenburg for directions, but being met by blank stares before they walked away ignoring me. This happened 3 times! And these were young students i asked, not old folks.

2. "Please" and "Thank You" do not exist in Swedish vocabulary. Holding the door open for someone in a shop, or giving a seat up for an older person on a bus is not even acknowledged. Any time i went to buy something in a shop, i never once heard a "hello" or "thank you" of any kind from the sales assistant. In fact even having someone make eye contact with you was a big ask! I was just made to feel uneasy and not welcome. People staring at you because you are a foreigner was common place too, and then if you went to smile back or salute they just look away as quick as possible. Swedes have very good English but are very reluctant to speak it with you. They'd rather pretend that they do not understand you.

3. The Swedish girl and guy i was staying with, who i knew through friends in Dublin, continued the trend. I couldn't get a laugh out of them, it was difficult to even get a smile. It was like living with robots for the five days. It was as if they could not show emotion.

Me and my friend were in a pub one of the nights when she went as far as to discuss what i earnt in my job with her boyfriend, in front of me and my friend! She criticised me for not earning enough! To say i was gobsmacked was an understatement. Surely that's a big no-no in any culture?!! She in particular was obsessed with talking about money, how much she was earning, the rich guys she had dated in the past, etc. Together they ate out every day, they never cooked at home. They had no understanding of the value of money!

The two of them never stopped criticising how things worked (or didn't work) in Ireland - the "everything works perfect in Sweden" was their favourite line. It became tiresome to listen to it. At the party we went to with them, they never introduced us to their friends, we had to do it ourselves. Even then, both of them and their friends tried their best to ignore us for the night. So much for making guest feel welcome!

4. People going nuts over a bus or train being one minute late!! I mean jesus christ! And don't get me started about people charging onto the train when the doors open, giving no chance for people to get off first. As with basic manners, orderly queues don't exist in Sweden.



Now, maybe i'm being too harsh on the place, perhaps i had too high of an expectation. But i honestly don't think so. I know people will say it's their "culture" and that its different to ours, but i honestly think that bull. I've been to their neighours when i visited Copenhagen, and although people are a little reserved there too, they are positively charming when compared to the Swedes i met. And they are polite too. I know there are nice Swedish people, and maybe i was unlucky in who i met or the places i travelled to - i've been told Stockholm is full of a$$holes anyway. Now i've got an invitation to return in December but am not really considering going back.

Should i give Sweden another chance? I've googled terms such as "Swedish hospitality" or "Swedish rudeness" and the results are anything but an endorsement of the country, so it appears that i am not alone in my complaint about the place.