I need advice about my course.

Student3213 · 17-10-2013 10:41PM

39steps wrote: »

Hi there,
I really feel for you as I have been there, not with Maths, but with another subject that is fundamental to my course. I had moved out of home and found college overwhelming, the people, the subjects, living in Galway, everything. Everyone seemed so confident, so knowledgeable and so cool compared to me.

Of course, now that I'm a little older, I realise they were all dealing with their own insecurities. Don't worry about your parents, they would be horrified that you are this unhappy and disappointed that you couldn't share your true feelings with them.

I highly recommend that you call in to the Student Counselling drop-in sessions in Distillery Road. The hardest step is going through the door. I know it sounds like a cliche, but there is nothing they haven't heard before and they will help you to stand back from your situation and assist you find objectivity to re-examine your situation.

I also know of a guy that went to one of the chaplains who really helped him as a person (there was no religion involved).

Seek professional advice from GP, counsellor, former teacher at your secondary school, don't try to deal with this yourself. There is so much help available.

Hi. It's more that I don't want to disappoint them because of where this course might lead than anything. They've given up a lot for me so I owe it to them to succeed. And since I'm failing, that's what is making me depressed.

I really don't feel I can go to counselling. I feel stupid enough asking a question in private grinds let alone explaining my problems to someone. I appreciate your advice to no end and I want to take it, but I don't feel I can in this case.

It's getting to the point in this thread where I pass up so much help that people go "Well what do you want us to say", and I'm not really sure how to answer that. You know when you have an issue you can't solve yourself, but then someone with an answer comes along and everything's fine again? That's what I'm hoping for.

Thanks very much for taking the time to reply and I'll see if I can make myself talk to someone about this.

ShonyBoulders · 18-10-2013 11:14AM

Perhaps you could discuss it with your first year mentor? I'm one myself, and while it isn't our duty to actually do your work, at the end of the day we're just students like you and most of us would be happy to discuss subjects.
Maybe you could also look into setting up a study group for yourself and the other students in the class who are having difficulty? This has the benefits of being able to break up the workload into smaller pieces for everyone, then you can pool it all together, as well as having some friends in the class to help support you along.
If you don't feel comfortable stepping forward to do that ( I know I wouldn't have been in first year! ), you should contact your class rep.

And lastly, you should never feel shy to ask questions which you think you might be "stupid", odds are there are multiple people in the lecture hall who have the same question but are too afraid to ask it. I've found that all the students who are doing well in my year (1:1, 2:1 average) are the same students who kept asking questions in first year.
In tutorials, grinds and labs, you shouldn't be afraid to ask a question that you think might be too "basic". Questions are the often the only feedback that tutors about how well they are teaching their students, and they're usually very thankful for it, unless they're just normally a dick anyway. :P

Student3213 · 18-10-2013 11:42AM

ShonyBoulders wrote: »

Perhaps you could discuss it with your first year mentor? I'm one myself, and while it isn't our duty to actually do your work, at the end of the day we're just students like you and most of us would be happy to discuss subjects.
Maybe you could also look into setting up a study group for yourself and the other students in the class who are having difficulty? This has the benefits of being able to break up the workload into smaller pieces for everyone, then you can pool it all together, as well as having some friends in the class to help support you along.
If you don't feel comfortable stepping forward to do that ( I know I wouldn't have been in first year! ), you should contact your class rep.

And lastly, you should never feel shy to ask questions which you think you might be "stupid", odds are there are multiple people in the lecture hall who have the same question but are too afraid to ask it. I've found that all the students who are doing well in my year (1:1, 2:1) are the same students who kept asking questions in first year.

There was a lot of trouble with mentors this year. Many people didn't get assigned one at all. I got assigned one but they never turned up the day we were all supposed to meet our mentors. I rang her and she said she had dropped out of college 2 years ago.

I did overhear that some students got together to study, I might speak to them about it.

I don't know about speaking out in class. There are hundreds of other people. Even if it was a genuinely good question I don't think I could ask it. I get private grinds and I don't like asking things there either. That's just me though I suppose.

I'm not sure whether or not I told you what I'm studying. I know I said I'd prefer not too but I figured it probably won't make it easier to guess who I am. I'm studying Engineering. Does that change any of the advice you gave me so far?

39steps · 18-10-2013 02:05PM

Hi there,
Please don't rate the concept of disappointing your parents ahead of depression and unhappiness in your current course.

You really need an external objective voice to clarify that YOU are not failing. You made a choice that does not at present suit you. Nowadays no-one has a career for life, we all reinvent outselves several times, by means of course choices, jobs, personal life decisions, etc. There are more courses and other colleges out there. You could speak with Careers Office staff for some general pointers.

As to finding a "magic" answer from us posters, while we are well-meaning in our advices, we are amateurs and I would strongly urge professional advice.

Be brave, speak to someone.

ShonyBoulders · 18-10-2013 03:32PM

Student3213 wrote: »

There was a lot of trouble with mentors this year. Many people didn't get assigned one at all. I got assigned one but they never turned up the day we were all supposed to meet our mentors. I rang her and she said she had dropped out of college 2 years ago.

I did overhear that some students got together to study, I might speak to them about it.

I don't know about speaking out in class. There are hundreds of other people. Even if it was a genuinely good question I don't think I could ask it. I get private grinds and I don't like asking things there either. That's just me though I suppose.

I'm not sure whether or not I told you what I'm studying. I know I said I'd prefer not too but I figured it probably won't make it easier to guess who I am. I'm studying Engineering. Does that change any of the advice you gave me so far?

I'm a third year Engineering student myself, and I've been through the some of the same experiences yourself, such as not making the grade in the LC and getting in through the Special Entrance Exam. I'll also have done the same modules as you.
If you want to discuss anything, feel free to give me a PM if you want to talk about anything. As I mentioned before I'm also a mentor for first year Engineering & Informatics students, and I've experience being a student who had some difficulty and being able to help other students with difficulties. We can keep as much anonymity as you like.

Student3213 · 19-10-2013 10:07PM

39steps wrote: »

Hi there,
Please don't rate the concept of disappointing your parents ahead of depression and unhappiness in your current course.

You really need an external objective voice to clarify that YOU are not failing. You made a choice that does not at present suit you. Nowadays no-one has a career for life, we all reinvent outselves several times, by means of course choices, jobs, personal life decisions, etc. There are more courses and other colleges out there. You could speak with Careers Office staff for some general pointers.

As to finding a "magic" answer from us posters, while we are well-meaning in our advices, we are amateurs and I would strongly urge professional advice.

Be brave, speak to someone.

Hi. Thanks for replying

It's not that I feel I've chosen the wrong course. I really really want a degree in this field, I just can't get to grips with the material no matter how hard I work. It's the fact I can't understand it that is making me feel the way I do.

I do appreciate that people need to reinvent themselves multiple times these days, but I can't think of anything other than this I want to do. Do you think I should just go for it and ignore the bad feelings until summer?

Regardless of whether you're amateurs or not. I cannot thank you all enough for your support. The amount I've gotten is phenomenal. 3 pages? I thought I'd be lucky to get one or two replies. You really are helping me so much. (I just put that in bold so that people would know I wasn't ungrateful.)

Student3213 · 19-10-2013 10:16PM

ShonyBoulders wrote: »

I'm a third year Engineering student myself, and I've been through the some of the same experiences yourself, such as not making the grade in the LC and getting in through the Special Entrance Exam. I'll also have done the same modules as you.
If you want to discuss anything, feel free to give me a PM if you want to talk about anything. As I mentioned before I'm also a mentor for first year Engineering & Informatics students, and I've experience being a student who had some difficulty and being able to help other students with difficulties. We can keep as much anonymity as you like.

I don't know if I already mentioned it or not but I didn't get a C3 in the LC. I got in through the Special Entrance Exam but I can't shake the feeling I just lucked my way into this course. Thanks very much for your support

hillbloom · 19-10-2013 11:00PM

Hi Student 3213. I read all the posts & you got great advice. I am a parent, my children all went to college & were successful. My advice to you is, you should discuss your problem with your parents. At first they may be a bit disappointed. Engineering is a very tough course but you must put your health first. If your health breaks down, you wont be able to continue college. I don't know the deadline for dropping out or transferring without loosing reg. fees etc but someone mentioned the end of October. If its the end of October you should seriously think about your future. Will you be able to handle the Maths in future years, they wont be getting easier. My son did an Engineering course, there wasn't any special level of Maths required, he has 200 points over the limit to gain entry but he did struggle with the Maths for 4 years. I often asked him would be be able to continue. I feel really sorry for you & you are very hard on yourself doing all that study. There are probably people in the class struggling more but not taking it as serious. Please talk to your parents!

mrkiscool2 · 20-10-2013 11:49AM

Hey Student123, I can't give much better advice than what everyone here has given. This is the reason that NUI Galway is great, you get such great support from everyone, we are all in this together and I am sure at some stage in all of our courses we have had issues with our course and mental health!

I would say though go to the counselling service. I can understand you don't want to talk to someone in person about this, but I went when I was struggling with depression. They are amazing, completely confidential and are just there to support you! I would totally recommend you head over and talk to them.

Student3213 · 20-10-2013 01:06PM

hillbloom wrote: »

Hi Student 3213. I read all the posts & you got great advice. I am a parent, my children all went to college & were successful. My advice to you is, you should discuss your problem with your parents. At first they may be a bit disappointed. Engineering is a very tough course but you must put your health first. If your health breaks down, you wont be able to continue college. I don't know the deadline for dropping out or transferring without loosing reg. fees etc but someone mentioned the end of October. If its the end of October you should seriously think about your future. Will you be able to handle the Maths in future years, they wont be getting easier. My son did an Engineering course, there wasn't any special level of Maths required, he has 200 points over the limit to gain entry but he did struggle with the Maths for 4 years. I often asked him would be be able to continue. I feel really sorry for you & you are very hard on yourself doing all that study. There are probably people in the class struggling more but not taking it as serious. Please talk to your parents!

Hi, thanks for replying

I over the last few days I've discussed it with my parents and we ended up deciding that I should continue until the end of the year and see what happens with my exams.

If I can't handle the Maths now, I don't hold out much hope for the Maths that I'll be doing in the years to come. I can only take it one section at a time for now, I might get the hang of it at some point. I thought that there was only Maths for the first 2 years (with the exception of Fluid Dynamics n 3rd year). The timetables give that impression anyway. Maybe there's a Maths module disguised under a name I wouldn't recognise as being associated with Maths.

Student3213 · 20-10-2013 01:09PM

mrkiscool2 wrote: »

Hey Student123, I can't give much better advice than what everyone here has given. This is the reason that NUI Galway is great, you get such great support from everyone, we are all in this together and I am sure at some stage in all of our courses we have had issues with our course and mental health!

I would say though go to the counselling service. I can understand you don't want to talk to someone in person about this, but I went when I was struggling with depression. They are amazing, completely confidential and are just there to support you! I would totally recommend you head over and talk to them.

I agree, the support I've gotten here has been amazing. I'll think about counselling

Other people need those slots more than I do though. I can get through this if I ignore the bad feelings. I know it's probably not good to do but once Summer comes I can forget about this course for a few months.

mrkiscool2 · 20-10-2013 01:34PM

Student3213 wrote: »

I agree, the support I've gotten here has been amazing. I'll think about counselling Other people need those slots more than I do though. I can get through this if I ignore the bad feelings. I know it's probably not good to do but once Summer comes I can forget about this course for a few months.

Don't think that way. There are always slots at the counselling service and even if there isn't there is still the walk-in service you can use, which is also great! They are really amazing in there, and never think your mental health problems are worse than anyone else's, that's the problem in Ireland at the moment, people don't think their mental health issues are as "important" or as "big" as others, and that's what causes so many suicides and attempted suicide among young people in this country. Please, for the sake of everyone that has commented here giving you support, at least go to one of the walk-in afternoons and talk to someone!

39steps · 23-10-2013 12:18PM

Hi there,
I'm so pleased that you discussed your situation with your parents. It was a brave first step to take and I hope that the process of sharing the burden helped you a little.
I agree with all the other posters, NUI Galway is a very supportive environment, but you have to look for support; people (staff/mentors/SU) do not offer if they think you are ok.
Counselling is not as big or scary a prospect as you may think, essentially it's talking to someone who helps you see your situation from an objective standpoint and leads you to a course of action that suits you. Help is there.
Good luck, you sound as if you have great parents,
39steps

TheCosmicFrog · 23-10-2013 04:06PM

Student3213 - great to hear you discussed this with your parents. I'm sure that took some of the load off your mind.

If you ever feel like things have gotten too much for you to handle, please avail of the walk-in service that the Counsellors offer. You don't need to call ahead of time or get an appointment, just walk in and chat with the receptionist about speaking with one of the counsellors for a few minutes.

There's some more information here:
http://www.nuigalway.ie/student_services/counsellors/

No matter how silly or trivial you think your problems are, it can usually be a massive relief to just speak about them in confidence with someone. Remember, your mental health is what comes first

Student3213 · 23-10-2013 09:30PM

mrkiscool2 wrote: »

Don't think that way. There are always slots at the counselling service and even if there isn't there is still the walk-in service you can use, which is also great! They are really amazing in there, and never think your mental health problems are worse than anyone else's, that's the problem in Ireland at the moment, people don't think their mental health issues are as "important" or as "big" as others, and that's what causes so many suicides and attempted suicide among young people in this country. Please, for the sake of everyone that has commented here giving you support, at least go to one of the walk-in afternoons and talk to someone!

I think I should try one. I just failed my second Mechanics test in a row despite upping my study since the last one and I feel worse than ever. I'll try to build up the courage to go.

Student3213 · 23-10-2013 09:34PM

39steps wrote: »

Hi there,
I'm so pleased that you discussed your situation with your parents. It was a brave first step to take and I hope that the process of sharing the burden helped you a little.
I agree with all the other posters, NUI Galway is a very supportive environment, but you have to look for support; people (staff/mentors/SU) do not offer if they think you are ok.
Counselling is not as big or scary a prospect as you may think, essentially it's talking to someone who helps you see your situation from an objective standpoint and leads you to a course of action that suits you. Help is there.
Good luck, you sound as if you have great parents,
39steps

It did for a while. I don't feel too bad when I'm out of class and not studying when I can try to forget how I feel when the stuff I can't get my head around is staring me in the face. I agree that NUIG is very supportive, I had no idea how much until I was in need of some help. Thanks very much for your advice. And yes, I do have great parents

Student3213 · 23-10-2013 09:39PM

TheCosmicFrog wrote: »

Student3213 - great to hear you discussed this with your parents. I'm sure that took some of the load off your mind.

If you ever feel like things have gotten too much for you to handle, please avail of the walk-in service that the Counsellors offer. You don't need to call ahead of time or get an appointment, just walk in and chat with the receptionist about speaking with one of the counsellors for a few minutes.

There's some more information here:
http://www.nuigalway.ie/student_services/counsellors/

No matter how silly or trivial you think your problems are, it can usually be a massive relief to just speak about them in confidence with someone. Remember, your mental health is what comes first

Hi. It helped for a while. Could you tell me what sort of ways counselling could help me? I'll admit I tried before a long time ago for something else, but I was too set in my ways for them to have any effect on me. I believed one thing, and whatever they said to convince me otherwise was beaten down because what I believed made so much sense to me. Nothing else could be right.

If I try it again I might be met with the same result and then I'd be back to where I began. Will they advise me?

TheCosmicFrog · 24-10-2013 11:08AM

Student3213 wrote: »

Hi. It helped for a while. Could you tell me what sort of ways counselling could help me? I'll admit I tried before a long time ago for something else, but I was too set in my ways for them to have any effect on me. I believed one thing, and whatever they said to convince me otherwise was beaten down because what I believed made so much sense to me. Nothing else could be right.

If I try it again I might be met with the same result and then I'd be back to where I began. Will they advise me?

Hey. It can help everyone differently. Trust me, almost everyone is set in their ways, and it's not the job of a counsellor to convince you to think differently

What they do offer is a confidential place to be listened to. As some previous posters have said, they'll have heard from hundreds of students over the years about their stress and struggles with subjects and college life in general making them feel down. It's somewhere to go to take some of the load off your mind. The counsellors also offer great information about help you can get, academic or otherwise, and can answer any questions you might have, or advise you on where to go to find them. I hope that helps

Ficheall · 24-10-2013 05:31PM

It's also important to remember that dropping out of a course isn't the end of the world.

If you are sticking with it, know the past exam papers inside-out.

Suil Eile · 03-11-2013 12:50PM

I was talking to a lecturer I know personally and she told me that you wouldn't believe the amount of people that come to their lecturers about mental health problems. She said that lecturers can give alot of leeway when it comes to grades if you're struggling with something like depression. You're definitely putting in the work and if you got in, you've got the smarts, so don't underestimate how much your depression is holding your grades down and how much people in the university can help you.

starlit · 03-11-2013 01:19PM

Student3213 wrote: »

Hi. I'm having major problems with my course and I'm hoping someone can give me some advice. I started first year six weeks ago looking forward to studying my course. Pretty early on I started realising that maybe my course was a little too much for me (I'd rather not say what I'm studying). We're now half way through Semester one and I don't think I can cope.

I just don't understand the material on my course. I have 4 grinds a week for 4 different modules I'm struggling in. I go to every tutorial I can and I go to SUMS whenever I get a free hour. Every week without fail I'm doing assignments and studying until 1 or 2am regardless of when I finish college.

Is that normal? If so, how does anyone enjoy college? This next part is hard for me to say, but I think I may have serious depression and I feel I may be heading towards 'you know what' (I don't want to say it). There may or may not have been something going on in the back of my mind before I started college that my course brought to the fore-front of my thoughts, I'm not sure.

Basically my course is making me miserable, but I feel I have to keep going because of how happy my family were when I was accepted into it. It's a course that will lead to an area where I feel there is likely to be a lot of money in the future.

I already looked in to transferring courses but it looks like I missed my opportunity: http://www.nuigalway.ie/admissions/documents/first_year_students_transfer_scheme_v1_0.pdf

I'm really not sure what I should do. Surely you're not supposed to feel like this. What would you do if you were in my position? Thank you for your time.

Hi, have you spoken to your class tutor or lecturers? Might be that the course isn't for you? Do you really want to pursue it as a career? Maybe try a different course similar to it.

Its normal to feel that you have too much on I am the same since I went back to college I've little time to do much else other than college work but at the same time you need to manage your time and give time for yourself. Its too much to be studying well into the night like that you need sleep and breaks. I learnt the hard way when I did my degree and when I went back to college a few years ago to do a dip I balanced my study and time a bit better. I prioritised what was important based on deadlines etc. Tend to do the hard stuff first then the easier stuff.

How are you finding the assignments? If you are finding them difficult and the grinds are of little help which they should help, I've done grinds in the past and with a bit of structure and persistence you get there but seems to me the course is too difficult to deal with. Could you do it part time rather than full time? Or do something similar or different? Is it possible to transfer into another course might not be too late? Or transfer into another college similar course? If you missed the opportunity you can apply to cao again or transfer for next year?

I did my courses step by step after leaving cert cert, ordinary degree, honours degree etc I thought be easier but if anything was tougher. I liked and enjoyed my courses but time management and trying to get everything done was the baine of my life really I get started but take me ages to get things done often till last minute but I try to get things done ahead of time as much as possible then I am not rushing around like a headless chicken even though I'd have all the work done.

Like other posters have mentioned talk to the college guidance counsellor should help you, see things in another perspective they might shed some light as to what you can do to cope with the workload and show you techniques to help you cope.

Deep breaths, try not to do too much at a time, multitasking can impact on the quality of work done I know from experience, just do one thing at a time and do it well! As anyone say, eat healthy, fruit and veg, drink plenty water so you don't get dehydrated, college labs/classrooms can be stuffy.

Probably you need a quieter place to study where you not disrupted, maybe suss out your study technique aswell reading isn't enough, review and rewrite, summarise and write down what you know without notes, mind maps and flash cards be handy or summarise in a word doc or write out, exam papers look at them, you need to be able to reproduce what you learnt either word for word or in your own words depends on lecturer but sticking with the key words and terminology extra research or stick with book/notes required for module, most importantly examples this apply to any course! Exercise is important too you need to take a break from the study for it to let it absorb into your brain. I find I need to take time out from study/college work just to get out of the house helps me to relax. Sleep number one thing you can't skim on, your brain be too tired to take everything you learnt and learn new things in! Sleep for the amount you need.

You doing well to go to all the lectures it might be an idea to go in with a group of your classmates see how they are coping they could really help you out too support and all that, if you bit shy just say hello and break the ice or ask them you need help with something?

If it means dropping out of the course then all means do if its the right thing for you to do and the course isn't for you best not to keep it on and do something different. Its all about keeping yourself happy if the course is making you miserable its not the right course for you if you not getting out what you put in so best to do a different course. What ever about your family what they say.

You're number one you can only make yourself happy and not let anyone else deter that happiness if it means dropping out of the course and doing something different at a later date. You shouldn't feel pressured into something you do not really want to do even if it means making someone else happy you need to make yourself happy first before you make them happy! I'm sure your family would rather see you happy than be miserable, there is light in the end of the tunnel and I hope you can see that. Any problem can be solved if you talk to people.

Hope my advice helps.

39steps · 27-01-2014 09:43PM

Hey Student3213,
Just checking in to see if how you're finding things in Semester 2?
I think of you and hope that with some support thing are a little easier for you.
Remember, just cause we're not emailing doesn't mean we don't care.

Best!

I need advice about my course.

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