What do people think- child kept in cot for hours

ireland.man · 15-09-2013 05:07PM #1

I'm not a parent so I don't know if this is common or not but do people think it's acceptable to let a 2yo play (supervised) for half the day in a small cot? I spent time in a friend of a friend's house recently and the child there was sitting in his cot playing with toys from 9 in the morning, when the child woke up, until about 4pm when I left. Once-off is fine (which I hope was the case in this situation) but if that was a two or three day-a-week thing, how would people here feel about it? The boredom for the child must be awful.

I know us non-parents can be a bit judgmental when we oftentimes don't actually know what we're talking about but leaving a child like that simply seemed BAD to me.

January · 15-09-2013 05:51PM

What do you mean? Was the child left in their room on their own to play?

That's not right at all, was the child fed at all in that time? Was it's nappy changed?

ireland.man · 15-09-2013 06:17PM

January wrote: »

What do you mean? Was the child left in their room on their own to play?

That's not right at all, was the child fed at all in that time? Was it's nappy changed?

I said totally supervised- fed, changed, played with, etc of course. It's not about that, it's about whether 2 year olds should ever be left in a cot to play for more than a very short amount of time.

Bagheera · 15-09-2013 06:27PM

It sounds a bit strange as I would assume two year olds should be running around causing havoc in their own home. If the child didn't seem distressed or upset I can't say it's cruel per say, but I think it's odd to confine a child of that age to such a small space.

Big Bag of Chips · 15-09-2013 06:38PM

You say it was a friend of a friend, and that the child was supervised, fed, changed, played with etc.

Was it a travel cot/playpen type thing?
Do you know of any issue with the child? Maybe there was a reason why the child couldn't be out around the floor? Sick? Balance problems?

It's certainly unusual, but without knowing more it's easy to judge!

ireland.man · 15-09-2013 06:51PM

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

You say it was a friend of a friend, and that the child was supervised, fed, changed, played with etc.

Was it a travel cot/playpen type thing?
Do you know of any issue with the child? Maybe there was a reason why the child couldn't be out around the floor? Sick? Balance problems?

It's certainly unusual, but without knowing more it's easy to judge!

It was a playpen, not a cot as I mistakenly said. It is hard to judge but I thought maybe people generally do it on odd occasions to just take a break from a child running around them.

Big Bag of Chips · 15-09-2013 07:14PM

They might! But trust me, any 2 year old that wants to be out running around is not going to stay quiet for too long.

It might be a regular occurrence, but the child is used to it/happy in there..
It might have been a one off because the child was a bit unwell and not in the mood for running around..

Without knowing the full facts of the situation, which you can't really know just by visiting there for a few hours, it really is hard to tell

Moonbeam · 16-09-2013 12:45PM

Can the 2 year old walk and talk?
I have a 2 year old and she is constantly busy,there is no way I could/would leave her in a play pen at all,my 8 month old though gets dropped in it to play.

Mink · 16-09-2013 01:15PM

From what you've described, I don't think it's ideal as kids need more stimulation than that. Once in a while if the circumstances require it fair enough. My 13 mth old would go absolutely ballistic if I tried to keep him in a cot, playpen for more than 10 minutes. But he's used to being free range so that's all he knows

KCC · 28-09-2013 11:47PM

I think this is wrong - if this is happening on a regular basis the child's development is certainly being affected. It's an awful and ignorant thing to do, particularly to a two year old. However, I don't know if there is anything you could do about it bar say it to the person themselves directly.

I think it may have been normal enough practice in years goneby but we know so much more now. Kids should be learning through play, exploration and interaction.

Abigayle · 29-09-2013 01:26AM

ireland.man wrote: »

I'm not a parent so I don't know if this is common or not but do people think it's acceptable to let a 2yo play (supervised) for half the day in a small cot? I spent time in a friend of a friend's house recently and the child there was sitting in his cot playing with toys from 9 in the morning, when the child woke up, until about 4pm when I left. Once-off is fine (which I hope was the case in this situation) but if that was a two or three day-a-week thing, how would people here feel about it? The boredom for the child must be awful.

I know us non-parents can be a bit judgmental when we oftentimes don't actually know what we're talking about but leaving a child like that simply seemed BAD to me.

ireland.man wrote: »

I said totally supervised- fed, changed, played with, etc of course. It's not about that, it's about whether 2 year olds should ever be left in a cot to play for more than a very short amount of time.

The problem here is, unless the childs basic needs aren't been met, it's very difficult to tackle what you are talking about.

For the record, I agree with you. A child that is left for hours on end as a means to control them I feel will isolate them from real life, and possibly lead to social issues.

My pre school years were very isolated, and I found it very difficult to integrate or make friends. I thought other children were wild and I found myself a quiet corner and played alone.

I'm not sure what you can do here. Parents can be defensive about their methods, so you need to be careful and constructive about how you do things. I think if I were in your shoes I'd ask the parents (with a smile

) if I could take the child out to say hello and play with them on the floor for a while.

Proud parents love to talk about their children, so let them in on it and encourage them too with support.

ireland.man · 29-09-2013 12:20PM

Abigayle wrote: »

The problem here is, unless the childs basic needs aren't been met, it's very difficult to tackle what you are talking about.

For the record, I agree with you. A child that is left for hours on end as a means to control them I feel will isolate them from real life, and possibly lead to social issues.

My pre school years were very isolated, and I found it very difficult to integrate or make friends. I thought other children were wild and I found myself a quiet corner and played alone.

I'm not sure what you can do here. Parents can be defensive about their methods, so you need to be careful and constructive about how you do things. I think if I were in your shoes I'd ask the parents (with a smile ) if I could take the child out to say hello and play with them on the floor for a while.

Proud parents love to talk about their children, so let them in on it and encourage them too with support.

I think that's great advice. I completely understand how sensitive a topic this would be for any parent. I'm very hesitant to say anything because I don't know the circumstances- it really probably was a one-off thing- but in that situation again I will definitely say "let's take the child out and play", etc.

lmos · 29-09-2013 01:49PM

I think this is unacceptable. A two year is far too old to be in a playpen half the day. It sounds like lazy parenting. Im not sure if you can do anything though. Its a highly sensitive topic. The suggestions above about asking to take the child out for a play, is about as much as you can do. Good on you for caring

ceadaoin. · 29-09-2013 02:17PM

Maybe if the child was quite young and not walking yet then a travel cot or a playpen filled with toys is an acceptable safe place to leave them for a short time.

However, leaving a 2 year old in a playpen for hours on end is lazy parenting plain and simple. My daughter isn't even 2 yet and there is no way that she would stay in one for any length of time, she would be screaming and doing her best to climb out, she doesn't even sleep in a cot anymore.

I think the fact that the child didn't complain indicates that this is a regular thing.

Woshy · 03-10-2013 10:24PM

My baby is just under 4 months and even he won't sit in one place for very long. 20 minutes is the longest he is happy to stay in the one place entertaining himself. It does seem a bit strange, mainly that the child is so happy to do it.

lmos · 03-10-2013 11:16PM

Its sad to say that the child must be conditioned......

rainbowtrout · 13-10-2013 08:16PM

Everyone is very quick to slag off the parents here. I probably wouldn't leave a child in a playpen all day (don't have kids), but maybe this parent did on a once off basis because they had the OP there as a visitor and was mindful of the fact that the OP doesn't have children. This thread could just have easily been 'I was visiting a person and they passed no heed of me and we weren't able to have a conversation because their 2 year old was running around the place and kept interrupting us'

lmos · 13-10-2013 08:51PM

There's a huge difference between popping a child in a playpen/cot to have a wee play for 20mins or so and keeping the child in that confined space for hours. There's just no valid excuse for this.

Lisha · 13-10-2013 09:00PM

I just find it strange that the child stayed there for such a long time . Once mine got to a year they would have roared for escape ,

Big Bag of Chips · 13-10-2013 09:02PM

lmos wrote: »

...There's just no valid excuse for this.

That's very simplistic. My cousin, who is my age, mid 30s, was one of those children who could sit and entertain herself for hours. My aunt often laughs at how she would "forget' about her until she'd walk into the room and see her sitting in the playpen! She's has no lasting side affects that any of us have ever noticed

I have 2 friends who both had kids who didn't move much until they were over 2. They used to laugh that they could sit them in the middle of the floor leave them for an hour, come back and they would still be sitting in the same spot!

Every child is different. It seems the OP doesn't really know the family too well, saying they were "friends of a friend"... So it is impossible for the OP to judge. All they saw was a child, quite content, amused, entertained, not ignored etc.. but sitting in a playpen.

It mightn't be what suits another child, but not every child is the same. And for an outsider looking in, it's easy to think bad.

Jessica-Rabbit · 14-10-2013 09:20AM

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

That's very simplistic. My cousin, who is my age, mid 30s, was one of those children who could sit and entertain herself for hours. My aunt often laughs at how she would "forget' about her until she'd walk into the room and see her sitting in the playpen! She's has no lasting side affects that any of us have ever noticed

I have 2 friends who both had kids who didn't move much until they were over 2. They used to laugh that they could sit them in the middle of the floor leave them for an hour, come back and they would still be sitting in the same spot!

Every child is different. It seems the OP doesn't really know the family too well, saying they were "friends of a friend"... So it is impossible for the OP to judge. All they saw was a child, quite content, amused, entertained, not ignored etc.. but sitting in a playpen.

It mightn't be what suits another child, but not every child is the same. And for an outsider looking in, it's easy to think bad.

My little girl is great for keeping herself entertained, she will potter around and play with her toys happy out, but I still wouldn't dream of putting her in a playpen for hours on end regardless of weither I thought she was happy there or not.
Babies need interaction, they thrive on interaction. I put my daughter in her play in the morning of 5 mins while Im getting her breakfast ready and then she is out of it for the rest of the day unless I have to do something quickly.
She is taken to the park and or to her grandparents houses everyday, she is taken to the parent and toddler groups twice and sometimes three times a week, these are all important for her development.
Even if a child will sit on the floor or playpen for hours on end, they should not be left there for hours on end, they won't stay babies forever so this is the chance a parent gets to make the most of their child.

Big Bag of Chips · 14-10-2013 04:45PM

And parents shouldn't feed their kids processed junk food most of the time.
And parents shouldn't plonk their kids in front of the telly for hours.
And parents shouldn't give in to tantrums.
And parents shouldn't do a host of other things...

But each family makes their own choices and works with what works for them.

I wouldn't do it. My lad broke his collar bone when he was 14 months. The only way I could keep him still was to strap him into his car seat in front of the telly for a few days. It broke my heart to confine him... But luckily he wasn't up to too much moving around, at the time.

But I wouldn't be too quick to judge what I think another parent is doing wrong. Of course I am human, and I occassionally tut (to myself

) if I see something that I wouldn't do with my kids... But then I'm sure I've been tutted at plenty times myself!

Jessica-Rabbit · 15-10-2013 09:11AM

I certainly don't judge how other parents raise their children, every parent makes their own choices on whats best for their children and no doubt the vast majority of parents have nothing but the very best intentions for their children.
But somethings I just do not agree with and leaving a child on their own for hours in a playpen or in front of the tv. is just lazy parenting pure and simple.
If the baby/ toddler suffered an injury and their mobility had to be restricted for a while then that is a completely different thing.

With regards to processed food , in moderation fair enough, but feeding a child chicken nuggets and chips, fast food, and junk food in general again is very wrong, it makes for a very unhealthy child and can lead to bad eating habits as the child gets older and of course obesity. And what really makes me laugh is the endless excuses , " oh they wont eat anything else" they don't like veg ect". It is nonsense, children will not allow themselves to starve, if they refuse to eat a healthy dinner or lunch, well its simple they will eat it when they are hungry and realize that junk food is not an option.

It dose not take long to prepare a healthy meal, a stew could be prepared the night before for example and served the following day.
This attitude of " Oh I can't be bothered cooking so i'll just get them a pizza or Mc Donald's ect is not acceptable in my opinion. If the parent wants to eat junk that is their provocative, the child should not be forced into their unhealthy choices.

As for the tantrums, with me its pick your battles.

I don't claim to be the perfect mother, but I do my best for my child and when it comes to her health laziness will not do. I brought her into this world and it is my responsibility to give her the best chances in life .

What do people think- child kept in cot for hours

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