50 Shades of Grey fans trolled

Aseth · 06-09-2013 01:58PM

I got the book as a well meant present. I really tried to read it but honestly couldn't stomach it. Ann Rice 'Sleeping beauty' is so much better and even then I got bored with the stuff after few chapters.

Irishcrx · 06-09-2013 02:25PM

Lets try a few extracts.

“He's naked except for those soft ripped jeans, top button casually undone. Jeez, he looks so freaking hot. My subconscious is frantically fanning herself, and my inner goddess is swaying and writhing to some primal carnal rhythm.”

“This is a man in need. His fear is naked and obvious, but he's lost. . . Somewhere in his darkness.
His eyes wide and bleak and tortured. I can soothe him. Join him briefly in the darkness and bring him into the light.”

“My inner goddess is jumping up and down, clapping her hands like a five year old.”

“Inside me! I gasp, and all the muscles deep in my belly clench. My inner goddess is doing the dance of the seven veils.”

“Sitting beside me, he gently pulls my sweatpants down again. Up and down like whores”

“You've brushed your teeth," He says, staring at me.
"I used your toothbrush."
His lips quirk up in a half smile. "Oh Anastasia Steele, what am I going to do with you?”

Utter rubbish , no idea what she was smoking writing this. What the hell is with her 'inner godess' in every other line.

krudler · 06-09-2013 02:32PM

This is absolutely hilarious, guy does a reading of the book but impersonating (and wvery well for the most part) people like Winnie The Pooh, Gandalf, Gilbert Godfried, Mickey Mouse and others, it's almost worth the book existing purely for this video :pac:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqkNYfKZV6s

Earthhorse · 06-09-2013 02:38PM

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

Not that I'd read the book - what I know about it, it seems about as sexy as the potted plant next to me.

Pics?

Wacker The Attacker · 06-09-2013 02:39PM

They should be grateful that a mainstrem bluey is getting made.

I'll consider going if there loads of banging in it.

Rocket19 · 06-09-2013 02:45PM

My Mum reads them *shudder*

She has no shame about it either, least my auntie hides hers in the bathroom cabinet :P

zl1whqvjs75cdy · 06-09-2013 02:51PM

How do you go about making a porn movie for general release is what I want to know. The book was successful because there was loads of riding in it. So therefore for the film to be successful there has to be loads of riding, cause it sure as **** is not going to have a deep and meaning plot with character development etc. So how do you get loads of riding into a mainstream film. Its just going to be softcore porn.

On another note do women not find this type of book a bit demeaning? From what I can gather the girl falls for your man because he's rich and is into bondage. So it encourages (probably the wrong word) women to go for rich men who will abuse them. Hardly a bed time story for the kids is it? I'd be interested to see that book written from a male abusers prospective, I wonder how many copies that would sell.

Disclaimer; I have never read the book so am open to correction.

krudler · 06-09-2013 02:54PM

Irishcrx wrote: »

Lets try a few extracts.

“He's naked except for those soft ripped jeans, top button casually undone. Jeez, he looks so freaking hot. My subconscious is frantically fanning herself, and my inner goddess is swaying and writhing to some primal carnal rhythm.”

So..not naked then?

Sleepy · 06-09-2013 03:02PM

Most of the women who read this and enjoyed it wouldn't understand the meaning of the word demeaning. The vast majority who read them thought they were ****e and only read them to see what all the fuss was about.

I read the first one and tbh, found in unintentionally hilarious.

gcgirl · 06-09-2013 03:05PM

Right I read the books a friend sent them via email to me so its not as if I paid for them, I have always been a fan of erotic fiction so I thought I'd give them a read, the story its self is not that bad, seriously its not all about sex its about a woman who basically helps a man to over come his childhood trauma, I hate when people go on about abuse in the book they know feck all about Dom's and submissive's, there's a lot of literary snobs committing on Facebook/twitter/here without actually reading the book, I don't personally diss something unless I've seen it.

Femme_Fatale · 06-09-2013 03:16PM

Abdullah Gorgeous Tuition wrote: »

How do you go about making a porn movie for general release is what I want to know.

It won't really be porn though because of the sex being acted. Plenty of 18s movies have a lot of sex, I don't think that will be an issue.

On another note do women not find this type of book a bit demeaning? From what I can gather the girl falls for your man because he's rich and is into bondage. So it encourages (probably the wrong word) women to go for rich men who will abuse them.

I've heard the guy is a headcase dick to her and that that attracts her to him (definitely a real-life phenomenon) but mutually consenting bondage is a separate issue, and not demeaning.

Hardly a bed time story for the kids is it?

I don't think anyone suggested it was.

humanji · 06-09-2013 03:22PM

gcgirl wrote: »

Right I read the books a friend sent them via email to me so its not as if I paid for them, I have always been a fan of erotic fiction so I thought I'd give them a read, the story its self is not that bad, seriously its not all about sex its about a woman who basically helps a man to over come his childhood trauma, I hate when people go on about abuse in the book they know feck all about Dom's and submissive's, there's a lot of literary snobs committing on Facebook/twitter/here without actually reading the book, I don't personally diss something unless I've seen it.

In fairness, the author knows feck all about dom's and submissives, and originally wrote it as Twilight fan-fiction. While there a people who make fun of the book without knowing what it's about, there's many more who have read it and still call it a load of crap.

kowloon · 06-09-2013 04:43PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5K1RcKJVbHA

harney · 06-09-2013 06:56PM

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

I've heard the guy is a headcase dick to her and that that attracts her to him (definitely a real-life phenomenon)

Well known fact....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kOwTF_i6zOc

Femme_Fatale · 06-09-2013 10:23PM

harney wrote: »

Well known fact....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kOwTF_i6zOc

Some stupid women do indeed. I hope I've long grown out of it myself.

There's a book called Flowers In The Attic (followed by a bunch of sequels) which was massive in the 80s/90s and along the same lines as this - well not as focused on sex but similar style of writing, and women/girls were obsessed with it (including me).
Probably would have been a similar phenomenon to 50SOG had there been internet. In fairness, trashy stuff but a good auld yarn. The film was utterly abysmal and there is a website somewhere devoted to having it remade.

minidazzler wrote: »

To be fair, Alexis Bliedel is gorgeous, and could play a youngster again. But couldn't play an abused girl so well.

Anyone who gets the role is gonna be gorgeous, that's not a concern. That Alexis lady is very babyfaced and doesn't look 32, but she's still too old. I don't get the way people often get cast in roles that are several years younger than them.

krudler wrote: »

Emma Watson was rumoured at one point but she tweeted about how ridiculous that was, I'd say any big name actors know well it's going to be awful sh1te (so a close adaptation :pac: ) and are avoiding it. Charlie Hunnam is in Sons of Anarchy and was in Pacific Rim so he has a pretty popular tv show and a big blockbuster this year to his name, he's not exactly a household name yet though.

What I was thinking too. They're probably being warned by their agents etc to steer clear.

06-09-2013 10:24PM

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

There's a book called Flowers In The Attic (followed by a bunch of sequels) which was massive in the 80s/90s and along the same lines as this - well not as focused on sex but similar style of writing, and women/girls were obsessed with it (including me)..

I read that whole series!!

In my defence I was a kid and didn't know any better

Czarcasm · 06-09-2013 10:54PM

bluewolf wrote: »

I read that whole series!!

In my defence I was a kid and didn't know any better

I don't remember the particular book titles, but 20 years ago, jesus even 25 years ago because I was about 12 at the time, Mills & Boon chicklit were all the rage! My sister had stacks and stacks of them (she was about 19 at the time and I used rob them for a read with a flashlight under the duvet covers), but they used have much better stories and much more effort put into the writing than the crap that is FSOG (I've read the trilogy and honestly if I'd a 12 year old daughter and she wrote it as an English composition, I'd rip it up and tell her stop writing like a ten year old!).

The books are just, dire! The movie will be just as chronically cringeworthy but like the SATC franchise there'll be all the champagne cinema showings with busloads of "me girlies" "making a night of it" in the way only Irish girls can emulate American pop culture.

I would've liked to see Christian Bale and Mila Kunis in the lead roles, but as has already been suggested- established actors wouldn't touch that typecast trilogy shìte with a forty foot barge pole!

Canis Lupus · 06-09-2013 10:55PM

lulz, those actors ARE NOT the images I had in my head as I flicked my bean (whilst my husband lay beside me snoring like a disgusting pig and smelling faintly of beer) is basically what that 'protest' is saying.

Nero707 · 07-09-2013 11:55AM

Fifth Shades sucks. I suspect it wasn't written to be a good story or a good book, just to make money off of forty year old housewives.

Sofiztikated · 07-09-2013 12:10PM

My Mrs borrowed the first book from one of the girls in work. As per consensus, they all thought it was steamy, and erotic.

She gave it back a couple of days later, and told them "It was a bit boring, that's fairly average and tame sex."

I'm curious as to how the women she works with view me now, sexually.

50 Shades of Grey fans trolled

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