Homesickness

CountingClocks wrote: »

I'm living in Amsterdam but planning to move home in the future. I've loved loving here, I speak Dutch fluently which has definitely helped and Amsterdam is a great city but getting older now and having no ties here I want to be where my family is. A lot of my friends here have either left over the years or had kids and moved out of Amsterdam so it's not the same anymore having a much smaller social circle here.

If I had to name any frustrations with living here it would absolutely be rudeness and lack of service.

You mention also lack of service .Where exactly ? and in what situations ?

BTW ,is Dirthy Nellys bar ,just off the Dam ,still there ?..was a great place ,for food and a friendly pint .

anto9 wrote: »

You mention also lack of service .Where exactly ? and in what situations ?

BTW ,is Dirthy Nellys bar ,just off the Dam ,still there ?..was a great place ,for food and a friendly pint .

Well in pretty much any service-related situation, bars, cafes, supermarkets, city hall, tax office, etc. It's just not a service-oriented country at all although there have been slight improvements since I moved here many years ago.

In restaurants you can sit and wait ages till someone finally brings the menu then you have to try and get their attention to place an order, same to get another drink, same again to get the bill. Trying to even get the attention of waiting staff is a constant struggle, they don't believe in making eye contact or in checking with customers to see if they need anything, it's up to the customer to get their attention and that can take a while. Last weekend I ordered a glass of wine in a restaurant and it took 40 minutes to get the waiter to the table then 30 minutes for the drink to arrive.

In supermarkets there is no concept of customer service, just buy your stuff and get out :rolleyes: Last week I asked a staff member where I could find candles, he told me he couldn't remember where they were, I found another staff member and asked him if he know where they were, he just said No and walked on. At the till the woman ignored the plastic divider and checked in my stuff with those of the guy in front of me, of course it was my fault and she ranted under her breath about me, snapped my things out of my hand to re-check them then slapped my receipt down without another word. People queue jump a lot and will rarely let someone else ahead of them even if they have one or two things, I asked once if I could go ahead as I just had a carton of eggs and the woman said No.

Obviously some staff are friendly and helpful but the above examples would be very common here, there just isn't a concept of customer service although it is changing very slowly. I put up with it because I don't have a choice but I still can't get used to it, it costs so little effort to smile and make eye contact and it makes life easier for everyone. Everytime I go home the friendliness and helpfulness hits me within minutes, it's like another world.

I'm the other way around...

I came to live here from Germany back in the early noughties, when Germany was in a bad recession and jobs were very thin on the ground.

I've been living here for near enough 10 years now, and I've no intention of ever going back. I don't even particularly like going back for the obligatory holidays to visit the family, it's just annoying me. The attitude back in Germany is so miserable, everybody is whining and moaning constantly, it's seriously depressing.

I have to admit, I don't recall ever feeling homesick, even before coming here. I spent a lot of time in Austria (got family there) and spent some time in Montreal and I can't remember ever feeling particularly homesick. No "Heimweh", just "Fernweh".

Ariel Miniature Palate wrote: »

This sort of attitude saddens me, never wanting to live in your home country again and not missing living in such a fantastic place.

There is nothing fantastic about Ireland .In fact it can be a hell on earth if you come from a disadvantaged background .
I am old enough to remember 50 to a class ( and another 50 facing the other side of the room ).The constant beatings ,and learning everything parrot like .The absolute power and abuse of the Catholic Church .The Cencership .The force feeding of the Irish language .Fail it in the Leaving Cert and you failed the whole exam .
I hated my own Country for many years and got out to England as soon as i could .
Since then Ireland has changed a lot ,and so have i .I no longer hate it and do like to return for Holidays .

bohsboy wrote: »

If you're really that unhappy you need to have a discussion with your husband and agree on a plan for the future.

Life is far too short to feel as isolated as you obviously sound.

I'm not unhappy or isolated at all, just agreeing with another poster about the levels of service and rudeness here compared to Ireland. If it was that bad I wouldn't have made it to 17 years here, it does regularly annoy me though.

I don't have a husband so when I decide to leave I'll only have myself to consult :pac:

RachaelVO wrote: »

Think he may have meant me there... as I do have a hubby and hate it here. I'm working on him slowly though.

Yeah a lot of my friends have Dutch husbands and they go through phases of planning to move back then settling again for a while till the discussion arises again. None of them have left yet but certainly a few of them do plan to in the coming years.

homeless student wrote: »

quotes from Damien Duff. at least someone is proud of where they come from and appreciates what a nice country Ireland can be to live in.

You seem to be on some sort of a personal crusade on this thread. Some people are quite happy living outside of Ireland, don't suffer homesickness and don't have intentions to return.

What's so hard for you to grasp about that?

RachaelVO wrote: »

We've discussed it at great length, and I am hoping in the next few years, his difficulty is that he's an only child with elderly parents, so it's a little harder for him.

We are very different, there is a pettiness dealing with services n stuff here. I'm living for the day I lock the door and go straight to the airport. Until then I just have to suck it up. At least I'm not so far away though, it's an hour and 20 mins to get home.

Have a broodje croquet and some karnemelk....you'll feel better...NOT!
Dutch bureaucracy is a nightmare too.

anto9 wrote: »

I must have been to a different Holland than the rest on here .Where i was ( mostly Amsterdam and near by ) they drank like fish ,though mostly just at weekends .Everything being shut on Sunday is the same in Germany and a good thing in my book .To really fit in there you need to know the language ,and that was where i failed .( though i have reasonable German )

I didn't have the experience of everything being shut on sunday in amsterdam.
Everything was open.....well shops, supermarkets, pubs, newsagents. Albert Heijn supermarket shut at 8pm on Sunday as opposed to 10pm monday - saturday. That was all. In Germany you can't but sh!t on a Sunday except go to the pub. The odd kiosk is open in the touristy areas if you want ciggies or chocolate or something but that's pretty much it.

Ariel Miniature Palate wrote: »

I find it very hard to grasp to be honest. Having spend a year away (well I came home almost once every 5 or 6 weeks to try ease the home sickness), I hated it, I hated the shops were different, the pace of life was different, I couldn't call home at weekends by simply hopping in the car, I couldn't see my friends regularly, I couldn't go out around the farm to unwind, I couldn't go to watch gaa matches, I couldn't get a proper pint of guinness etc etc the list is very long and some of it is just a feeling of missing out on whats going on at home.

I used to feel like that when I first moved out and found it difficult to settle away, but I kind of caught the travel bug and made friends wherever I went.

I felt like I was missing out on stuff at home until I went home and found myself getting bored.
It was a strange feeling but I was missing my other friends in college, etc.

I suppose some people have different priorities which is why I don't judge anyone and accept that not everyone will think like I do.

I now live in Vancouver and never regretted moving but I'm looking forward to Christmas at home as it will be almost 2 years since I was last there.
I'll just stay home for 2 weeks though, I think that's enough.

anto9 wrote: »

>> It's mostly the rudeness and total lack of service that kills me off though. <<
I lived in Holland for 3 years and found it totally the opposite .Great polite service in shops etc .Mostly friendly people but not all .( like everywhere) .
I now have lived in Thailand for 5 years ,and dont miss Ireland but do like to return about every 2 years for a Holiday .Being older and my parents having passed away means less connection with Ireland .

Definitely when the parents go it loosens the ties.