Why do people feel entitled to inherit?

Malari · 27-08-2013 11:35AM

I Heart Internet wrote: »

That's a very immature attitude, young man

I am not a man (nor young, sob!

:P)

I Heart Internet · 27-08-2013 11:36AM

Malari wrote: »

I am not a man (nor young, sob! :P)

Fixed!

pharmaton · 27-08-2013 11:37AM

The mother just keeps reminding me that she wants her ashes scattered in Italy, have no problem keeping that promise. I'd be sickened to discuss who's left what, other than the family home I imagine it would be more debt than anything else. The father died relatively young years ago and having life insurance policy we all were left a decent sum to help get us started but it certainly wasn't planned or expected.

saltyjack silverblade · 27-08-2013 11:53AM

I have one sibling. The parents have stated that everything is to be divided equally between us except the I am to have the jewellery. This is because it would mean something to me as opposed to my brother. My brother would get something of equal value. It's funny as neither of my parents have a will.
To the grandmother's side there are only 2 grandchildren, myself and the brother. He has never had anything to do with them as they don't get along. I speak to my grandmother everyday and we get on really well. She is splitting stuff between us evenly but feels that I should be given the car as I have done a lot more for her and we have always been close. My brother only speaks to her at Christmas and on birthdays.
I don't expect an inheritance but I have been told what I am getting. Money doesn't really interest me and I would prefer to see someone comfortable than saving. I plan on doing what the generations of my family have done before me and age disgracefully!

I Heart Internet · 27-08-2013 11:59AM

saltyjack silverblade wrote: »

It's funny as neither of my parents have a will.

It really is better to have a will made. The most "straightforward" case can lead to awful bitterness over the smallest of things.

(No, I'm not a solicitor)

27-08-2013 12:06PM

My grandparents like eso have mentioned the will a few times and I think told me or asked what I want. I don't want anything tbh. I won't say no if I get anything but as far as I'm concerned their stuff is theirs, and so will my mother's be. It just doesn't even register on my scale nevermind being angry that someone might get more than I did. And comments on the lotto, wtf. She could have donated most of her money to charity before she passed away either and then what would he say

Someone commented to me before that they were spending "my" inheritance

I genuinely don't get this... at all. I really don't. They earned their money for their retirement, it's theirs. Jaysus

BlatentCheek · 27-08-2013 12:09PM

In a way I feel sorry for that brother, it seems he got so obsessed with inheriting millions from his sister that he let it unbalance him.
Thinking he "won the lotto" when his sister died shows how much he'd lost the head over the money he was sure was coming.
Now he has €45,000 less his High Court legal fees.
It's not uncommon for people to go a bit mad like this over inheritance. Personally I think the healthiest option is to never dwell on inheritance prior to a relatives death. If something comes to you, it's a plus but thinking too much on it just festers resentment and tears families apart; in the worst cases culminating in lengthy legal actions where lawyers ultimately get most of the money.

Mr Benevolent · 27-08-2013 12:10PM

I've repeatedly told my parents that I don't want anything. They brought me up, paid for everything, repaid my debts, the list goes on. They owe me nothing. However, my brother and I will get the house between us if my parents don't sell it first. If they do sell it, they should use the money for their own welfare and happiness, not mine.

Ray Palmer · 27-08-2013 12:20PM

Sir Humphrey Appleby wrote: »

Whose entitlements? He solicitor and doctor agreed the woman knew exactly what she was doing.
How do you consider these charities committed robbery, the woman worked all her life, the only entitlement was hers, to do with as she wanted with HER money.

She didn't work all her life to get the money. She got the money by selling property her husband had gotten. He may very well have inherited it.

My father died as I was just turning 18 and in college. He left a will with everything going to my mother but left certain personal things to his sisters. They weren't personal to them but antiques he bought and wanted them to have. Anyway as I had just turned 18 and in full time education I could have claimed part of the estate as a dependant child. I didn't know at the time but my mother did and hid the fact from me. I found out later when my cousin was in a similar situation.
My parents always said they would split everything equally among us 3 children. My mother however has made a few comments about inheritance and that fact I don't have kids. Effectively saying she doesn't want her money and property going to other people than her grandchildren when I die. In effect it is not my inheritance but my nephews and I am just going to be a guardian of. If I die before my mother my wife will get nothing because she didn't have kids but if my sister dies before her, my sister's husband will inherit as they have kids.
Now given the way my mother looks at it I do think I should have applied for inheritance on my father's death so she couldn't hold it over me. She has threaten to remove me from the will

Bare in mind my siblings don't live in the country I have to run if she needs help and I have to look after her properties for her and don't get paid to do that. She has always been generous and I probably have been paid for the work through gifts but she always balances out the gifts to the others too.

To a certain extent it feels like I am the stay at home son when the prodigal pair come home.

Doom · 27-08-2013 12:22PM

I know a guy who asked for his inheritance early....!!

Ray Palmer · 27-08-2013 12:27PM

Doom wrote: »

I know a guy who asked for his inheritance early....!!

It's in the friggin bible so not exactly a new thing

OldNotWIse · 27-08-2013 12:32PM

mikemac1 wrote: »

If you worked the farm after your elderly parents were unable to do the heavy labour and kept running it for a decade or two wouldn't you feel entitled to inherit it?

Nobody here would be happy if it was sold off and you had worked it for years and years

In such a situation you can challenge the will on grounds of reasonable expectation, and it will be a factor taken into account.

OldNotWIse · 27-08-2013 12:40PM

Honey-ec wrote: »

I have four siblings. My parents have made it patently clear that whichever of them dies first, the entire estate goes to the surviving partner, nothing to us. When the surviving partner dies, the estate is to be split evenly five ways.

However, my dad has also made it patently clear that he is not making any specific provision for leaving a large inheritance. His money is his and my mother's, to enable them to live a very comfortable existence for the rest of their lives (she's 65, he's 66), not to go into a trust fund so his kids can each get a lump sum when they die.

They both play golf, they go on three to four foreign holidays a year, they change their cars every other year. Someone commented to me before that they were spending "my" inheritance and I was genuinely gobsmacked - it's their money to spend as they please. Nothing more to it. The house is mortgage-free, as is my dad's business premises, but other than those, no-one in my family is expecting there to be a whole lot of liquid assets in play when they die.

On the other hand, I have a friend whose parents offered her and her two siblings their "inheritance" upfront when they were buying their houses. To the best of my knowledge, that was about 40k each. How in God's name her parents freed up that much equity, I don't know.

Love to have that amount floating around

I'd be the same with my parents, all I want is for them to have a good standard of living after working hard all their lives. I don't mind being a little broke sometimes - I'm young and things can always get better! But being broke when you're older is more sole destroying I imagine. My brother and I pay their mortgage now but its not huge as we managed to get a tracker at the 11th hour, and between both its manageable. I never feel like I am doing them any favours - far as I am concerned I could pay it for the rest of my life and still not repay all they have given to me. My Mum is always saying, "you'll inherit the house anyway so you'll get the money back" - I'm like, I dont care, I'm doing it for them not as an investment!

Ace Attorney · 27-08-2013 12:44PM

The woman was clearly a good woman the way she was always donating to charities. The sum she left each of the brothers was 45,000 a tax ceiling beneficial to both of them, which i think means if they were givin anymore money than that they would have been charged tax on it , which to me is a smart move she didnt want to waste any money unnecessarily, I mean come on what is an 80 year old going to do with 45,000 anyway. All the ejitt did by contesting the will is publicly highlight his own greediness

Doom · 27-08-2013 12:46PM

Ray Palmer wrote: »

It's in the friggin bible so not exactly a new thing

And the bible is always right....

mikom · 27-08-2013 12:48PM

I'm leaving all my money to the state......

Cody Pomeray · 27-08-2013 12:48PM

Thank you Waterford Crystal and Bank of Ireland, for making sure my parents and their kids never have to worry about inheritance rows. :pac:

27-08-2013 01:06PM

Ray Palmer wrote: »

She didn't work all her life to get the money. She got the money by selling property her husband had gotten. He may very well have inherited it.

Actually, this is a good point. It's not even "his sister's" money, it's most likely "his brother-in-law's" money ... might explain also why a "distant cousin" is the executor ... maybe she and her husband had planned how any inheritance was to be distributed before his death.

Thatdoesnt looksafe tome AHHHHHHH wrote: »

The sum she left each of the brothers was 45,000 a tax ceiling beneficial to both of them, which i think means if they were givin anymore money than that they would have been charged tax on it , which to me is a smart move

Agreed, IIRC the inheritance tax free threshold is just over €43k ... it appears that she got the best possible "value" for money by avoiding paying inheritance tax and helping as many groups as possible.

Irish times wrote:

The court heard Ms Coffey had made dozens of bequests ranging from sums of €100 to €1,000 to €10,000 and up to €50,000 to various charities for the poor, the deaf and the blind, and to hospices, the Samaritans and even the Helicopter Rescue Service

27-08-2013 01:17PM

Being an only son I have been told I will inherit the family farm.

I have told my father I don't intend to farm it and he accepts that.

I would be surprised if I didn't inherit it but it wouldn't make too much difference to my life if I didn't*.

I have seen what strife an unexpected death and inheritance has caused in another family.

*I would be a bit put out if I didn't get a site to build a home in the next few years but again that has been discussed and will probably happen.

Sir Humphrey Appleby · 27-08-2013 01:25PM

Ray Palmer wrote: »

She didn't work all her life to get the money. She got the money by selling property her husband had gotten. He may very well have inherited it.

She worked as a nurse and along with her husband build up a large farm over many years, no doubt her income helped in that building up process.
Cheap dig on your part to be honest.

wil · 27-08-2013 01:37PM

ratracer wrote: »

Ah the old saying 'where theres a will, theres a way, relative' will always ring true....

And where there's no will, there's a war...

(among the many many vultures relatives)

Dohnny Jepp · 27-08-2013 01:43PM

I Heart Internet wrote: »

Interesting.

To be honest, I can understand why the brother would be dissapointed. To be frank, I would be.

No no, his name was Joseph.

Ray Palmer · 27-08-2013 01:59PM

Doom wrote: »

And the bible is always right....

Not saying it is right or wrong, it just isn't something new or unheard of.

Sir Humphrey Appleby wrote: »

She worked as a nurse and along with her husband build up a large farm over many years, no doubt her income helped in that building up process.
Cheap dig on your part to be honest.

And still she didn't work her entire life for the money she made. She made the money off a sale of property which isn't the same as working for the money. Don't know how much land the couple bought or how much they already had. It doesn't say in the article not sure how you know. There is lots of doubt her income helped in the process as it hasn't been stated anywhere I read. That is a cheap shot and I am always honest so don't have to added it to things I say.

lukesmom · 27-08-2013 02:11PM

I just ate a whole box of Cadbury fingers except two. Greedy guts.

ratracer · 27-08-2013 02:48PM

lukesmom wrote: »

I just ate a whole box of Cadbury fingers except two. Greedy guts.

So now you're just gonna give the rest of the family the two fingers??

April O Neill · 27-08-2013 07:37PM

Honey-ec wrote: »

However, my dad has also made it patently clear that he is not making any specific provision for leaving a large inheritance. His money is his and my mother's, to enable them to live a very comfortable existence for the rest of their lives (she's 65, he's 66), not to go into a trust fund so his kids can each get a lump sum when they die.

This is a great attitude to have. My grandad enjoyed every cent of his money in life, and was generous towards us too (though it wouldn't have matter if he wasn't). When he died, he had just enough left to cover his funeral. He might have that put aside, I don't know. I think it's great!

No hassle, no will, no property, just one corpse who lived life to its fullest (well, as best he could, he wasn't massively flush or anything).

Ilyana 2.0 · 27-08-2013 08:15PM

My parents will have worked long and hard enough to create a comfortable retirement for themselves; I wouldn't dream of expecting or demanding anything from them. But they are kind people and I'd imagine that they will make some provision, however small, for my sister and I. If they do, I wouldn't refuse it as it was their choice to do so and I know they'd never see themselves short for the sake of our inheritance. And if they don't, that's fine too. I'm sure they'd have good reason for it.

It's my responsibility to set myself up in life, not theirs. We were raised and educated well, that's enough for us.

Nemeses · 27-08-2013 08:29PM

I don't expect anything to be left for me if one of my relatives die.

If I was indeed left with something, It probably would remind me of memories I wouldn't be able to relive.

What is theirs can die with them.

imitation · 27-08-2013 08:37PM

I aim to live life off my own back as much as possible, I think planning your life around somebody pass away is plain wrong.

At the same time, I think its naive to wonder why people feel entitled to inherit, sure in a lot of cases its plain old greed, but in some cases there's stories attached. Imagine not getting anything when your siblings get everything, what did you do to deserve that

Another thing I have seen is the survivors getting an 90 year olds idea of a fortune (10 grand) while the "rest", millions, land, homes with memories all gone to a charity.

If you lived around a place and knew the people all your life, I think it would be a massive kick in the balls to see the whole lot go to a charity, with the person gone along with any reminders of them.

My own feeling is, that the immediate family should get the main percentage and the everything after should be relatively small, the aim being keeping the wealth within the family. At the same time nobody should be trying to play favorites, make paupers of the parents or expect them to save an inheritance for them (thats just weird)

Claregirl · 27-08-2013 08:47PM

I had a relative who contested her mother and later her fathers will - there was a farm involved. When my own dad died without a will she challenged the insurance payout (and managed to get a share) - My brother was deceased so I fought her for equal shares for myself my sister and my brothers children and it was subsequently shared out equally 4 ways - when one of my brothers children died six years later she also tried to get her hands on their portion.

When she died I was tempted to challenge her will but instead I consoled myself that she's probably roasting in hell.

If I go first all goes to my OH with a proviso that my share of the estate would pass equally to the kids if he were to remarry - if we both go whatever's left after hopefully a lot more living will go equally to our kids (My own mothers widowed father left everything to his new wife which I found sad as she never even got a memento and we don't even have old family photo's) sometimes that's overlooked it's not always about the money but the lifetime of memories and precious items (not necessarily valuable) that are lost - particularly where a family home is involved.

Why do people feel entitled to inherit?

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