The Breast Feeding Support Thread

dublinlady · 21-08-2013 03:49PM

Totally agree with how strange!! She's lucky to have you! My hubbie very supportive too and I really appreciate it!! Don't know what I'd do without all his help! After the first few weeks (approximately 2!) I was Able to express enough to get him to do one bottle a day - this only lasted til she was about ten or 12 weeks So when she would only go 3 hrs between feeds at night and I was shattered as have an 18 month old too! So he would give it to her around 11 and I'd sleep from 9/10 til about 3 when she'd wake again. Last night at 14 weeks she slept thru from 11 to 6! And so for last few weeks I've just been feeding her myself without expressing as she doesn't want it after 9 or ten now! She gets v tired in the evenings bless her!
Both my girls take longer to feed than most... Usually a feed takes 30 mins or so, some times 15, sometimes 60!! But she really is giving me the full 3 hrs between start of one feed and start of next now, up until couple weeks ago it was more like every 2 - 2&1/2 hrs. If she wants to do it just try to be stubborn and stick with it, the days quickly fly by and all of a sudden they're giving you smiles and trying to roll around! The dad is just as important as the mum in breast feeding - the emotional support and even things like getting a glass of water or a cup of decaf tea during feeding makes the mum feel appreciated and part of a team - as opposed to struggling with it themselves and giving up thru emotional exhaustion!
It's such hard work - but becomes much easier and u would say now for us muh easier than bottle feeding - cos I know when I stopped feeding my first myself she took just as long to take a bottle and then I had the sterilizing to face!!
I wouldn't have managed without my hubbie giving her a bottle every night - on days I couldn't express enough he'd add couple oz formula and did her no harm - now she gets none cos she's sleeping better and I know I'd have quit weeks ago if it hasn't been for that. You work it so it works for u!

cyning · 21-08-2013 03:56PM

Oral Slang wrote: »

Had been hoping that my little one would sever her lip tie, so the gap in her teeth would be gone when her adult teeth came in, but at 22 months it's still there, so presuming we're stuck with it.

Afraid to say it, but I'm 27 weeks pregnant, my milk dried up at about 16 weeks & that hasn't stopped my little one nursing. I've reduced her down to 1 feed a day at this stage - usually going to bed. I was feeding her going to bed, 2 or 3 times a night & getting up in the morning when I first got pregnant, so a big improvement. The pain of her feeding is a killer though - what it being sometimes painful anyway, due to her lip tie, alongside having sensitive nipples while pregnant & no milk left. Hoping in this last trimester I can somehow reduce her feeding to once every day or so & wean her that way. Went out last night & she went to bed for her daddy fine, but then this morning, she was begging me for it, so I caved. Usually not bad in the morning, I can distract her with breakfast, but obviously missed it last night, so really wanted it this morning.

Ya my nipples really really hurt and I'm getting pressured from every direction. I'm only just 11 weeks and she seems to be feeding more but I'm presuming that's because she's not getting as much as she was. I'm ready for her to stop hopefully once nausea lifts ill have extra energy to distract her a bit!

holding · 21-08-2013 04:22PM

Yes, forgot to say, Dublin Lady, even if you do go down the top up route, apparently it only takes 2 weeks of ebf again to reestablish the gut flora thing.

Nead21 · 21-08-2013 04:58PM

Well done Lang. A supportive hubby is so important in getting breastfeeding going. My hubby was and still in fantastic. He fed me and I fed the baby! He also used to take our little man out for a walk or something to give me a break. As others have said it's hard at the start but totally worth it. My baby is 18weeks now and its so much easier now. I'm delighted I kept going.

We also had the whole cluster feeding stage and sleeping on my chest. I found it very intense but felt better when I knew it was all normal.

Congrats and best of luck

lang · 21-08-2013 05:10PM

Nead21 wrote: »

We also had the whole cluster feeding stage and sleeping on my chest. I found it very intense but felt better when I knew it was all normal.

Yeah, the fact that we know it's normal makes it somewhat easier to handle. We were nearly at our wits end the last two nights. I have decamped my two ladies to the bedroom for some well earned R&R. I'm back to work on Sunday (I work overnights, 25 hours) so hopefully things get into some sort of routine in next day or two. Luckily the Mother-in-Law lives very close and has offered to provide as much support as we need, as has my Mam. Makes all the difference when you know you can call on people. We were due to have visitors yesterday and today but called them off so we could focus on getting everyone fed and rested.

Thanks for all the replies. They've really given me the lift to continue to support my wife in giving our daughter the best grub in the world!!

highly1111 · 21-08-2013 09:00PM

Hi girls, need some advice please.

P is 8 weeks tomorrow and has pretty much being exclusively breastfed. We've tried to give her one bottle a day but she just refuses it. It is an absolute battle. It has just taken us almost 90 minutes to get 60ml into her. She just screams and squirms away from it. We have tried avent bottles, dr. browne, nuk and both silicone and latex teat (and the size 2 also) but no joy. She's my 3rd baby and I never had any problems with the other 2 so this is all new to me (I used Dr. Browne on them)

I love feeding her myself but I'm back at work 3 evenings a week in 5 weeks time and she's just going to have to take the bottle. But the thought of her crying every night with my husband is too much to bear (and it's not fair on him either). Also, we would love a night off but we could never leave her with anyone if she won't take a bottle as it's just not fair on her or the babysitter.

Does anyone have any advice on how they got their babies to take a bottle? (btw it's the same with formula and expressed breastmilk so the milk isn't the issue!)

Thanks

Oral Slang · 22-08-2013 07:52AM

lang wrote: »

Yeah, the fact that we know it's normal makes it somewhat easier to handle. We were nearly at our wits end the last two nights. I have decamped my two ladies to the bedroom for some well earned R&R. I'm back to work on Sunday (I work overnights, 25 hours) so hopefully things get into some sort of routine in next day or two. Luckily the Mother-in-Law lives very close and has offered to provide as much support as we need, as has my Mam. Makes all the difference when you know you can call on people. We were due to have visitors yesterday and today but called them off so we could focus on getting everyone fed and rested.

Thanks for all the replies. They've really given me the lift to continue to support my wife in giving our daughter the best grub in the world!!

Yeah definitely 100% normal. I remember the 1st few weeks so well, the baby was glued to me. Just feed feed feed. Try and leave meals for your partner that just require heating up, once you go back to work. Avoid formula top ups if you can avoid them as prevous posters have said - the cluster feeding is to up the level of milk that your wife produces as the baby grows, so topping up means that the level of milk she produces isn't as much as required. Also, as said, it can affect the gut flora of the baby. (good article here on the virgin gut) http://www.thealphaparent.com/2011/07/virgin-gut-note-for-parents.html

During growth spurts, you think it'll go on forever, but then suddenly it's over.
Have a look at this attachment for indications of when developmental spurts might happen - they mightn't be exactly during the time this says, but I found it really was quite accurate and helped assure me that everything was perfectly normal. http://www.thewonderweeks.com/mental-leap-1/#

aknitter · 22-08-2013 10:07AM

highly1111 wrote: »

Hi girls, need some advice please.

P is 8 weeks tomorrow and has pretty much being exclusively breastfed. We've tried to give her one bottle a day but she just refuses it. It is an absolute battle. It has just taken us almost 90 minutes to get 60ml into her. She just screams and squirms away from it. We have tried avent bottles, dr. browne, nuk and both silicone and latex teat (and the size 2 also) but no joy. She's my 3rd baby and I never had any problems with the other 2 so this is all new to me (I used Dr. Browne on them)

I love feeding her myself but I'm back at work 3 evenings a week in 5 weeks time and she's just going to have to take the bottle. But the thought of her crying every night with my husband is too much to bear (and it's not fair on him either). Also, we would love a night off but we could never leave her with anyone if she won't take a bottle as it's just not fair on her or the babysitter.

Does anyone have any advice on how they got their babies to take a bottle? (btw it's the same with formula and expressed breastmilk so the milk isn't the issue!)

Thanks

My last fella would only take the tommee tipee bottles - they seem to be most like a breast. Be careful thought the black markings will rub off easliy when warm. My man will not take a bottle from me, it might be up to your husband to tackle this one while you get out of the house for a while.

Oral Slang · 22-08-2013 10:18AM

highly1111 wrote: »

Hi girls, need some advice please.

P is 8 weeks tomorrow and has pretty much being exclusively breastfed. We've tried to give her one bottle a day but she just refuses it. It is an absolute battle. It has just taken us almost 90 minutes to get 60ml into her. She just screams and squirms away from it. We have tried avent bottles, dr. browne, nuk and both silicone and latex teat (and the size 2 also) but no joy. She's my 3rd baby and I never had any problems with the other 2 so this is all new to me (I used Dr. Browne on them)

I love feeding her myself but I'm back at work 3 evenings a week in 5 weeks time and she's just going to have to take the bottle. But the thought of her crying every night with my husband is too much to bear (and it's not fair on him either). Also, we would love a night off but we could never leave her with anyone if she won't take a bottle as it's just not fair on her or the babysitter.

Does anyone have any advice on how they got their babies to take a bottle? (btw it's the same with formula and expressed breastmilk so the milk isn't the issue!)

Thanks

The only bottle my little one would ever take when I started to express was the Nuk bottles with a latex teat, wouldn't touch any with a silicone teat. I have all new Tommee Tippee bottles that she just refused totally.

holding · 22-08-2013 11:16AM

Oral Slang wrote: »

Yeah definitely 100% normal. I remember the 1st few weeks so well, the baby was glued to me. Just feed feed feed. Try and leave meals for your partner that just require heating up, once you go back to work. Avoid formula top ups if you can avoid them as prevous posters have said - the cluster feeding is to up the level of milk that your wife produces as the baby grows, so topping up means that the level of milk she produces isn't as much as required. Also, as said, it can affect the gut flora of the baby. (good article here on the virgin gut) http://www.thealphaparent.com/2011/07/virgin-gut-note-for-parents.html

During growth spurts, you think it'll go on forever, but then suddenly it's over.
Have a look at this attachment for indications of when developmental spurts might happen - they mightn't be exactly during the time this says, but I found it really was quite accurate and helped assure me that everything was perfectly normal. http://www.thewonderweeks.com/mental-leap-1/#

Yes! All of this. Great post Oral Slang.

How Strange · 22-08-2013 01:32PM

Rant alert .... Why is it when you're breastfeeding that you can't mention night feeds or being tired? It p1sses me off at times.

We had a family do last weekend (my family) and my husband partied for 2 days with great enthusiasm and leaving me to be the parent. All I got off my mother was how it was my own fault for breastfeeding and I've brought it on myself. I can't even hint at being tired or I'm told how such and such baby is sleeping all night, is on aptamil as its closest to breastmilk (can she not see my big boobs?!) and now is on the spoon at 15 weeks. Jesus, all I said was I was a bit tired. I get called a breastfeeding mother in the same tone you'd refer to a ditzy woman driving a sports car or something. Apologies to any mums driving sports cars!

Now my aunt who I normally get on very well with is chiming in with the 'I won't mention the feeding setup' comments.

Why do breastfeeding mothers have to justify themselves? Do formula feeding mums get the reverse of this?

My mother is a different kettle of fish though as this is her second grandchild to be fed this way and she still carries on like it's weird and a bit creepy. I know a woman who's mother told her it was too sexual to breastfeed a boy so I guess my mother isn't the only one.

Anyway, sorry. Rant over! I just needed to get that off my breasts ... Sorry chest

M007 · 22-08-2013 03:25PM

Firstly congrats to everyone on their little prince or princess.

Last week my wife gave birth to her first child and has been BF since day one - I believe that she has taken to it very well but am concerned that she doesn't over do it to the point of exhaustion.

It was a bit of a relief to see other people talk about cluster feeds - our guy has cluster feed from around 12 midnight to 6 am for the past three nights - only a week old - and while he usually sleeps for around 3 hours in the morning this morning he only lasted around 40 mins before he was looking to be fed again - my wife isn't getting much rest at all today - is this normal in the "cluster" period - do we have to just go with the flow with him demanding

Its a bit too early to have a routine established I imagine as he is only 7 days today but her mother feels that we are taking him from the basket to quickly when he cries and should allow him to cry a little - I've read so many conflicting information on this I'd like to know if anyone else has experiences this

thanks - btw - wouldn't change it for the world but just want Mum and Son to be ok

aknitter · 22-08-2013 04:07PM

How Strange wrote: »

Rant alert .... Why is it when you're breastfeeding that you can't mention night feeds or being tired? It p1sses me off at times.

We had a family do last weekend (my family) and my husband partied for 2 days with great enthusiasm and leaving me to be the parent. All I got off my mother was how it was my own fault for breastfeeding and I've brought it on myself. I can't even hint at being tired or I'm told how such and such baby is sleeping all night, is on aptamil as its closest to breastmilk (can she not see my big boobs?!) and now is on the spoon at 15 weeks. Jesus, all I said was I was a bit tired. I get called a breastfeeding mother in the same tone you'd refer to a ditzy woman driving a sports car or something. Apologies to any mums driving sports cars!

Now my aunt who I normally get on very well with is chiming in with the 'I won't mention the feeding setup' comments.

Why do breastfeeding mothers have to justify themselves? Do formula feeding mums get the reverse of this?

My mother is a different kettle of fish though as this is her second grandchild to be fed this way and she still carries on like it's weird and a bit creepy. I know a woman who's mother told her it was too sexual to breastfeed a boy so I guess my mother isn't the only one.

Anyway, sorry. Rant over! I just needed to get that off my breasts ... Sorry chest

I was considered a bit of a hippy and my Dad wouldn't come into the room with me while I was feeding. On number 3 now and they know better. I actually think night feeds are easier with breastfeeding - you can do other positions etc. Dont have to wait for bottle to heat

Too sexual to breastfeed a boy - do boys deserve less than girls? Are they not supposed to get the best their mother can offer - what ****e.

Can't believe it

dublinlady · 22-08-2013 04:20PM

M007 wrote: »

Firstly congrats to everyone on their little prince or princess.

Last week my wife gave birth to her first child and has been BF since day one - I believe that she has taken to it very well but am concerned that she doesn't over do it to the point of exhaustion.

It was a bit of a relief to see other people talk about cluster feeds - our guy has cluster feed from around 12 midnight to 6 am for the past three nights - only a week old - and while he usually sleeps for around 3 hours in the morning this morning he only lasted around 40 mins before he was looking to be fed again - my wife isn't getting much rest at all today - is this normal in the "cluster" period - do we have to just go with the flow with him demanding

Its a bit too early to have a routine established I imagine as he is only 7 days today but her mother feels that we are taking him from the basket to quickly when he cries and should allow him to cry a little - I've read so many conflicting information on this I'd like to know if anyone else has experiences this

thanks - btw - wouldn't change it for the world but just want Mum and Son to be ok

It's so easy to worry at the start - it's so hard and I know I just didn't expect it at the start! My girl fed around the clock - literally for first 2-3 weeks, then it got a little easier and now at 14 weeks it's a doddle (relatively... Touch wood!!)
Babies should not be left to cry at all in my opinion - after 4/5 months I did the pick up out down method with my first by Tracy Hogg author of the baby whisperer and found it good, but before that they literally could be hungry every half hour as their tummies are so small and they might not be efficient at feeding. They also need the comfort of a feed and are far too young to understand being left or why they being left. It's totally normal and don't mind people telling u to leave them to it - it's cruel! I do agree you should always try out a baby down to sleep so they are capable of napping by themselves but not for the first couple months cos they are so small and want hugs - need hugs - as are used to being in the womb. Try encourage mum to rest as much as possible - maybe feed whilst lying down and dare I say it... Co sleep for first few weeks and enjoy the cuddles! My second is 14 weeks and only now are we getting a routine of feeding & sleeping and she has mind of decided on the times herself!
Congrats - and don't worry - its normal to be shocked at how hard it is - we totally were - but amazingly in a few months you'll have forgotten all about it !!!

MurdyWurdy · 22-08-2013 04:28PM

I also think babies shouldn't be left to cry, at that age they 're doing it for a reason. Their stomachs are the size of a walnut so they need to feed regularly. If you go back a couple of pages in this thread you'll see posts by me saying how tired I am and how I didn't think I could it because my boy was feeding non stop. He's 9 weeks now and breastfeeding is easy peasy. It's just a hard time but it does pass and it's worth it!

Sorry to hear you're getting so much negativity HowvStrange. I've been so lucky - everyone in my life is so supportive of breastfeeding. I was thinking about giving up due to my LO's reflux and my mum was encouraging me to keep going, even though she didn't breastfeed me. My husband's family are great too, they're so pleased our baby is being breastfed.

I was at baby massage yesterday (it's fab!) and although my boy was the second eldest there most of the other babies were sleeping through the night. That seems like a distant dream for us

it is tempting when you hear of formula fed babies sleeping through but I know the breastfeeding is much better for him than a good nights sleep is for me!

dublinlady · 22-08-2013 04:28PM

I actually can't believe someone would say breast feeding is sexual!!!! I'm in shock!!! How weird are they?!?!!! They need a few cracked nipples and damp pj tops me thinks!!!

My mum asks me about once every 2 weeks , but really quietly and carefully as if she is afraid of causing offence which I think is very cute " are you still going on with the feeding?" - she's so supportive but I know she wishes if stop cos she thinks I'm wearing myself out with the 2 so young so I have to spend a good five mins convincing her its easy!
My dad nearly died of shock first time around but since I've set precedence and he now knows I'm not embarrassed he couldn't care less and can even manage full conversations now during feeds!!
My brothers shout - aggh boob and pretend to run away but all have or had breast feeding wives so luckily couldn't care less!
I'm the first of my friends to have baby so I like to think that I'm setting the standard - low - boobs everywhere - get over it!
It's not like with anyone other than my hubbie around I'm not super discreet but I just do refuse to hide!

dublinlady · 22-08-2013 04:32PM

Murdy - my lady sleeps no better when she gets formula at night - lately getting none as is giving me a decent stretch, also when I changed my first onto formula full time it made no difference to her sleep. I think it's a myth....!!! That doesn't help u I know, but just ppl tend to expect miracles from formula at night and I just wanted u to know it doesn't always work - so your doing a amazing thing and hopefully he'll sleep better soon x

Neyite · 22-08-2013 04:38PM

That's my young fella scarred for life then because I breastfed for 11 months until he self weaned.

In the future when he has a thing for flat chested women ill know where it came from:D

MurdyWurdy · 22-08-2013 04:39PM

dublinlady wrote: »

Murdy - my lady sleeps no better when she gets formula at night - lately getting none as is giving me a decent stretch, also when I changed my first onto formula full time it made no difference to her sleep. I think it's a myth....!!! That doesn't help u I know, but just ppl tend to expect miracles from formula at night and I just wanted u to know it doesn't always work - so your doing a amazing thing and hopefully he'll sleep better soon x

Thanks - that makes me feel a lot better! If I'd be up with him anyway breastfeeding is sooooo much easier. He gets formula occasionally if my mum is letting me have a nap or something but he much prefers my milk. Even if he only had the formula an hour before when he sees me he wants breast milk. I'm a good moo cow :cool:

I'm the first of my friends to have a baby too and am also really open about feeding, even in front of their boyfriends/husbands. I'm discrete but I feed him wherever I need to. We had friends (a couple) visiting last weekend and they want a baby soon. The girl wasn't going to breastfeed but she said I made it look easy so I'd inspired her to try it. It's one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me! Made it all worthwhile

pwurple · 22-08-2013 06:11PM

How Strange, you'll get it from every angle no matter what you do. When I gave up on it the last time I got the evils and 'i told you so' when she got a tiny sniffle about 3 months later. From a breastfeeding mum who's child was just of out hospital with whooping cough.

The sexual thing is just messed up. Should everyone have a section as well in case contact with their mother's vagina affects them? People just have sex on the brain.

You're going to be tired either way. And I know a couple of formula fed children who didn't sleep through the night until they are over two. Every baby is different. It's not a race to sleeping, or a race to a certain weight, or a race to talking, crawling, or walking, or any other of the meaningless goals people seem to consider to be personal achievments to be boasted about.

scaryfairy · 22-08-2013 07:36PM

ahh at creche (see my creche disaster thread) they are trying to suggest that I should wean my LO so that he can settle more easily at creche

I just don't understand
I may be too sleep deprived (which I am) and nappy brained but cannot see how weaning him would help. He has anyhow mostly stopped feeding during the day, just uses me as a dummy at night

+ has a big feed when we get home from creche.

I wish I hadn't told them about it, now it's all the boobs' fault

dublinlady · 22-08-2013 08:02PM

scaryfairy wrote: »

ahh at creche (see my creche disaster thread) they are trying to suggest that I should wean my LO so that he can settle more easily at creche

I just don't understand
I may be too sleep deprived (which I am) and nappy brained but cannot see how weaning him would help. He has anyhow mostly stopped feeding during the day, just uses me as a dummy at night + has a big feed when we get home from creche.

I wish I hadn't told them about it, now it's all the boobs' fault

Ah god don't mind them! You probably cherish those feeds with being back at work and don't let anyone stop you until ye both ready! I'm heading back to work part time in couple weeks and swear knowing ill still be feeding her (as well as expressing!) is whats making being away from her tolerably at all.

Nead21 · 22-08-2013 08:19PM

I think I'm just going to start telling people my little man sleeps through the night. I'm sick of hearing about how formula would help or that he needs solids. I'm convinced other mothers are lying anyway!!

How Strange · 22-08-2013 08:24PM

M007 congrats on your little boy

I've found that if you react to the baby straight away and feed or settle back to sleep then everything is fine. However if you don't you end up with an inconsolable and you've to start from the beginning with them.

How Strange · 22-08-2013 08:37PM

scaryfairy my son was in crèche for 6 months while breastfed and he was fine. Babies are incredibly resourceful; he misses you not the milk.

They're using breastfeeding as an excuse and they need to find ways to settle him in.

taxus_baccata · 22-08-2013 08:52PM

M007 wrote: »

Firstly congrats to everyone on their little prince or princess.

Last week my wife gave birth to her first child and has been BF since day one - I believe that she has taken to it very well but am concerned that she doesn't over do it to the point of exhaustion.

It was a bit of a relief to see other people talk about cluster feeds - our guy has cluster feed from around 12 midnight to 6 am for the past three nights - only a week old - and while he usually sleeps for around 3 hours in the morning this morning he only lasted around 40 mins before he was looking to be fed again - my wife isn't getting much rest at all today - is this normal in the "cluster" period - do we have to just go with the flow with him demanding

Its a bit too early to have a routine established I imagine as he is only 7 days today but her mother feels that we are taking him from the basket to quickly when he cries and should allow him to cry a little - I've read so many conflicting information on this I'd like to know if anyone else has experiences this

thanks - btw - wouldn't change it for the world but just want Mum and Son to be ok

Just had to jump in - there is no reason to allow a baby to cry and fair play to you for going with your gut instincts! Some beautiful books/ author:s Carlos gonzales, Dr sears, and there's a book called the continuum concept, I found that being armed with some knowledge really helped get rid of the not so helpful comments from in laws etc. !!

aknitter · 22-08-2013 09:20PM

Have to agree on not letting babies cry - esp if breastfeeding as they seem to find it harder to feed as they are upset and starving.

Blueskye · 23-08-2013 01:01AM

I also agree with not letting babies cry. They are upset for a reason. It must be terrifying for them adjusting to life outside the womb. Pick them up and comfort them as much as they need. I found babywearing really helpful for the first 2 months. My twins would settle instantly once in the sling.

I really liked 'the happiest baby on the block' book which has lovely ways to comfort baby, ie swaddle, rock etc.

wolfpawnat · 23-08-2013 08:00AM

The formula thing is BS. My son was formula feed after 6 weeks and without fail for months straight, midnight, 3, 6, 9. Every three hours I was up. My little bf exclusive baby is not as wearing. She cluster feeds before bed and at 9:3--10 dozes off for at least 4 hours. Last night, we fell asleep at 9:30, 4am was when I was woken again by her. Not sure if it is her or the breast milk, but tbh I don't care, I am getting sleep!

As for the crying thing, when they are older some people choose to let a child cry for a minute or whatnot. But newborns, they are incapable of any other form of information and they are too young to just want to cry for attention, it can be wearing, and with another child to care for too, my LO can be left crying for a minute, but dear goodness, never intentionally.

highly1111 · 23-08-2013 08:08AM

P is exclusively breastfed and is 8 weeks. She regularly sleeps 10-7 now. Rarely she might make at 6ish. But that's rare.

My boys also slept through very early and we're breastfed. all 3 of mine have been sleeping through by 8 weeks. (and yes, I know how exceptionally lucky i am ;-) !!)

The Breast Feeding Support Thread

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