Young teens and social networks

Tmeos · 16-08-2013 4:24pm #1

I was just trying to kill some time on the old Friday afternoon windup where I was having a look on my 14 yr old nephews Facebook, from there I was looking at his girlfriends and her friends and a few things stood out.

Firstly each and every profile was fully public. I would have thought at their age 13/14 the parents would be more aware of how wrong this is even if the kids themselves weren't.
Secondly and this is exclusivley the girls, there was any number of provocative/and or posed selfies in various states of dress
Thirdly by god the drivel - like for TBH, like for Hot or not all this nonsense basically relating to other peoples assessment of your looks and worth as a person. How in the name of Jesus would anyone never mind a fragile early teen want to engage in that.
Finally its just so cringey - all the melodrama and fights and bitching and self-consciousness approval seeking is all up there for anyone to see 'whatever you say I know so and so didn't finger me in class' ' I want to punch her so bad' blah blah blah. Its like those cringey teenage diaries you find only Its so public and permanent.

Anyways Im rambling a bit but I just wanted to gauge opinion on the issue from younger users in particular. Im only 30 but its such a different world from what I had when I was that young. Do you think this can do lasting damage?

wazky · 16-08-2013 4:30pm

Its the same as it was years ago, just its permanently on some webpage as opposed to being on the street etc.

Uriel. · 16-08-2013 4:33pm

Tmeos wrote: »

I was just trying to kill some time on the old Friday afternoon windup where I was having a look on my 14 yr old nephews Facebook, from there I was looking at his girlfriends and her friends and a few things stood out.

Firstly each and every profile was fully public. I would have thought at their age 13/14 the parents would be more aware of how wrong this is even if the kids themselves weren't.
Secondly and this is exclusivley the girls, there was any number of provocative/and or posed selfies in various states of dress
Thirdly by god the drivel - like for TBH, like for Hot or not all this nonsense basically relating to other peoples assessment of your looks and worth as a person. How in the name of Jesus would anyone never mind a fragile early teen want to engage in that.
Finally its just so cringey - all the melodrama and fights and bitching and self-consciousness approval seeking is all up there for anyone to see 'whatever you say I know so and so didn't finger me in class' ' I want to punch her so bad' blah blah blah. Its like those cringey teenage diaries you find only Its so public and permanent.

Anyways Im rambling a bit but I just wanted to gauge opinion on the issue from younger users in particular. Im only 30 but its such a different world from what I had when I was that young. Do you think this can do lasting damage?

Congratulations, you have reached Paedophile Level 2

bluefinger · 16-08-2013 4:37pm

Click here for your prize

pundy · 16-08-2013 4:37pm

i think no matter what age, social networks like facebook are dangerous. they are "public" and that, but it's an easy route for any weirdo to be indulging in their interests, whether that be a paedo, a cheating partner, anyone. it's shifty, and sleazy on the most part imo, and i would certainly be telling my child to either delete their profile or to at least make it a private page.

the teenagers of today are totally different to when i was a teenager (i'm 30) and it's definitely a totally different world from the one we knew as kids. scary stuff. dont know what the solution would be tbh.

smash · 16-08-2013 4:39pm

This week on 'to catch a predator"....

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar · 16-08-2013 4:42pm

pundy wrote: »

the teenagers of today are totally different to when i was a teenager (i'm 30) and it's definitely a totally different world from the one we knew as kids. scary stuff. dont know what the solution would be tbh.

yeah and our parents said the same for our generation and their parents said the same about theirs and so on and so forth until you hit around 1654. before that everything was always the same so this issue never came up.

pundy · 16-08-2013 4:46pm

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar wrote: »

yeah and our parents said the same for our generation and their parents said the same about theirs and so on and so forth until you hit around 1654. before that everything was always the same so this issue never came up.

well no, it's different now. our generation was more like our parents generation, as in, we didnt really have the internet or social networks at all until maybe our early 20's or so... so they are a different generation, and they have to deal with huge complex issues when it comes to online stuff, we didnt, our parents didnt.

my opinion would be that because of this, the teenagers and pre-teenagers of now have it way harder and a lot more opportunity to be exploited, or grow up too fast because of social media and the internet becoming more and more powerful. it's scary for anyone who would think about it, but probably not scary to the teenager using it.

BillyMitchel · 16-08-2013 4:51pm

My 13 year old nephew often used to use my ipod touch and leave his facebook page open and id have a little snoop. The absolute tripe the kids were coming up with was unreal. Should be classes in schools these days for kids to be a bit smarter when it comes to social networking.

All it takes is one stupid post and their teenage years could be focked, which in overall would affect their adult life.

Tmeos · 16-08-2013 4:53pm

Certainly not of the peadophillic inclination. Nosy sure but what's bringing this home to me is that my on little girl is still a toddler but how damaging is this going to be to her in terms of growing up a confident secure person.

I just thought in particular the emphasis on being attractive and other people confirming as much for you publically was really worrying.

thecatspjs · 16-08-2013 4:54pm

I'm sure every generation thinks there is something daft about the next one. The world keeps spinning though.

pharmaton · 16-08-2013 4:55pm

It will take a few generations but they will adapt better with each one. I've been online for 14 years now (1999 since I was 23) and my daughter was only five at the time, by the time she was a preteen she was as eager as they are to get involved herself and by the time she was 15 it was bebo and myspace and neither were areas I would travel to. By that age she regarded my online experience or presence as neglible, practically prehistoric and with the rise of fb the everyday use of smartfones and the 24/7 interconnected society there has been a dramatic shift within such a short period that it will take time for the human psyche to catch up with. Another ten years will probably see another shift but from a human perspective rather than a technological one. I think by the time she has kids they will have figured it out. At least we live in hope.

Tmeos · 16-08-2013 4:59pm

Again to reiterate no seedy intentions if it helps I'm a straight female so really just nosiness.

Re the this always went on - its just on the Internet perspective, I have no recollection of ever asking my male friends for an honest assessment of my looks/sexiness when I was in my early teens. Christ the idea of doing it now would terrify me. Who wants to hear that?

pharmaton · 16-08-2013 5:01pm

Tmeos wrote: »

Again to reiterate no seedy intentions if it helps I'm a straight female so really just nosiness.

Re the this always went on - its just on the Internet perspective, I have no recollection of ever asking my male friends for an honest assessment of my looks/sexiness when I was in my early teens. Christ the idea of doing it now would terrify me. Who wants to hear that?

I actually think the next generation (these kids, kids) will look back at this time of our social history and wonder what the fcuk they were smoking.

How Soon Is Now · 16-08-2013 5:08pm

Its not just young teens...

I see ones in there late teens 20s 30s and beyond talking total and utter bollox on Facebook every day.

Look the whole thing is nothing more then a way to promote yourself and bitch about other people no matter what age you are.

I have certain family on Facebook who are nothing more then ****ing pathetic attention seeking yokes every day is another group of photos of where they where what they had for dinner and where there off to for the weekend.

I actually dont know why i still use it i think its just to keep in touch with certain people at this stage because each and every day i go on it i find myself wanting to fight with people and tell them what i really think of there bull**** :pac:.

studiorat · 16-08-2013 5:09pm

Tmeos wrote: »

... seeking is all up there for anyone to see 'whatever you say I know so and so didn't finger me in class' ' I want to punch her so bad' blah blah blah. Its like those cringey teenage diaries...

ah the auld frig in geography. god be with the days.

pharmaton · 16-08-2013 5:15pm

How Soon Is Now wrote: »

Its not just young teens...

I see ones in there late teens 20s 30s and beyond talking total and utter bollox on Facebook every day.

Look the whole thing is nothing more then a way to promote yourself and bitch about other people no matter what age you are.

I have certain family on Facebook who are nothing more then ****ing pathetic attention seeking yokes every day is another group of photos of where they where what they had for dinner and where there off to for the weekend.

I actually dont know why i still use it i think its just to keep in touch with certain people at this stage because each and every day i go on it i find myself wanting to fight with people and tell them what i really think of there bull**** :pac:.

I had an account, purely because my entire family were there but it actually makes me physically sick so I don't use it, I've deactivated it over and over and in the five or so years that they have been using it I've become so far removed from my family that I don't feel a part of them anymore.
I have a nephews christening coming up, it would be something discussed or organised via fb but as I don't use it, I get a five word text message this morning informing me of time and place. No Hi!, or casual chat, I wouldn't even go so far as to call it an invite as there were no questions asked, just a time place and date with a few days notice. There'll be 100-200 pics of the event on fb afterward however. It's like hitting your head against a brick wall though.

adocholiday · 16-08-2013 5:16pm

I have a 16 y/o brother and his facebook is insane. It's a constant barrage of females that he's hardly acquainted with asking for his opinion of them. It's insane really. He also uses that askfm thing and I've seen some of the questions and the responses. In fairness he's a good kid and has a good head on his shoulders so the responses don't tend to be bad but some of them are really vicious and there is no accountability.

When I was that age I was very self-conscious and I would have been obsessed with that thing and people's opinions of me. I am not the least bit surprised at the amount of stress and anxiety that some teens feel because of this stuff. It is detrimental to the mental health of some of those kids and I think that we're very far from turning a corner with it.

How Soon Is Now · 16-08-2013 5:32pm

Ive posted statues messages on my own facebook about it before but its ****ing disgusting to see the way young teen girls are dressing and then posting the pictures on there facebooks and sharing them around other pages free for anyone and everyone to see.

To make it even worse there mothers fathers auntys uncles etc are all on there facebook.

The only time an issue will become a problem is when someone gets assaulted or worse then ''Its an outrage close down the site should all be banned''

The whole ask.fm thing was a perfect example i came across a fan page on facebook trying to have it closed down all hysterical women complaining the usual ****e even though most of them all they would have to do is look at there feed or daughters/sons facebook page and see what there doing and using. Not everyone blocks everything i can see what my cousins friends are doing ffs sure.

The fact of the matter is theres no surprise what some kids are doing on there pages because there family's are doing the same things.

Everytime u post a picture on facebook more then half of the time its been done because your looking for attention or a good reaction theres no other reason in most cases.

Everyone on facebook count the amount of times over the weekend you will see someone on your friends list post up a picture of themselfs or someone else and look at the comments and likes. ''your stunning'' ''you look amazing'' ''looking fab girls'' bla bla bla.

Tmeos · 16-08-2013 6:05pm

I think that's the thing, sure I use Facebook/twitter etc myself and it is all sharing for positive reaction. Like thanking a post on here or whatever. Everyone wants to feel valued and appreciated that's human nature.

The major difference is the directness of asking for/giving approval/disapproval with the younger generation and that's what worries me. Teens will always be insecure and need approval but the damage that comes with having it there in black or white for all to see is what worries me.

There was one post I saw that said 'post your name below and like that persons name if they are hot/cute/sexy. Cue lots of names and some with loads of likes and two or three with none. I just though for those kids whatever about you thinking you're hideous as all kids do to have it confirmed so publically must be agonising.

I do think its the parents and if I saw that as a parent it would be pulled immediately and major repercussions but in ten years when my daughters that age will I even understand what they're using?

How Soon Is Now · 16-08-2013 6:10pm

Tmeos wrote: »

I think that's the thing, sure I use Facebook/twitter etc myself and it is all sharing for positive reaction. Like thanking a post on here or whatever. Everyone wants to feel valued and appreciated that's human nature.

The major difference is the directness of asking for/giving approval/disapproval with the younger generation and that's what worries me. Teens will always be insecure and need approval but the damage that comes with having it there in black or white for all to see is what worries me.

There was one post I saw that said 'post your name below and like that persons name if they are hot/cute/sexy. Cue lots of names and some with loads of likes and two or three with none. I just though for those kids whatever about you thinking you're hideous as all kids do to have it confirmed so publically must be agonising.

I do think its the parents and if I saw that as a parent it would be pulled immediately and major repercussions but in ten years when my daughters that age will I even understand what they're using?

Have you ever seen baby contests in newspapers and yes now also on Facebook pages for certain companys?

These mothers send in pictures of there sons or daughters dressed all cute and crap and you rate them. You ****ing rate a baby based on how they look!.

I seen one not long ago shared by someone on my friends list the idea was they would share them around all there mates and get there mates to vote etc etc. It was actually depressing looking at the kids who didnt have much votes compared to the ones with 100s as if to say sorry your kids not good enough to win a prize online. It was actually smyths toy store doing it as well.

Society right from the bottom all way to the top is all about judging each other and wanting to be seen as better then everyone else.

endacl · 16-08-2013 6:14pm

pharmaton wrote: »

I actually think the next generation (these kids, kids) will look back at this time of our social history and wonder what the fcuk they were smoking.

I wonder what their kids'll be doing to freak them out...

BillyMitchel · 16-08-2013 8:00pm

How Soon Is Now wrote: »

Its not just young teens...

I see ones in there late teens 20s 30s and beyond talking total and utter bollox on Facebook every day.

Look the whole thing is nothing more then a way to promote yourself and bitch about other people no matter what age you are.

I have certain family on Facebook who are nothing more then ****ing pathetic attention seeking yokes every day is another group of photos of where they where what they had for dinner and where there off to for the weekend.

I actually dont know why i still use it i think its just to keep in touch with certain people at this stage because each and every day i go on it i find myself wanting to fight with people and tell them what i really think of there bull**** :pac:.

We should start a group for people like us.

pharmaton · 16-08-2013 9:03pm

endacl wrote: »

I wonder what their kids'll be doing to freak them out...

my guess is they're going to be supersmart, that'll be enough to wipe the heads of their parents. (mine still wipes the head off me)

Legs.Eleven · 16-08-2013 9:29pm

wazky wrote: »

Its the same as it was years ago, just its permanently on some webpage as opposed to being on the street etc.

Well I'm sure it's still on the street but to make matters worse, it's on the internet for all to see now as well.

I can understand what you're saying, OP. No doubt it enables bullying to escalate and as someone who was bullied as a teen, if they'd started making it public on the internet and spreading guff about me, it might have tipped me over the edge as it was bad enough without it. I'm not into technology, so I don't know how it could be controlled though and realistically, parents can't monitor absolutely everything their kids do on the internet and I do believe they're entitled to their privacy but I suppose they could at least keep an eye out.

Perhaps over time things will pan out but for this generation, it all seems too much too soon and I pity them.

pharmaton · 16-08-2013 9:31pm

Tmeos wrote: »

I think that's the thing, sure I use Facebook/twitter etc myself and it is all sharing for positive reaction. Like thanking a post on here or whatever. Everyone wants to feel valued and appreciated that's human nature.

The major difference is the directness of asking for/giving approval/disapproval with the younger generation and that's what worries me. Teens will always be insecure and need approval but the damage that comes with having it there in black or white for all to see is what worries me.

There was one post I saw that said 'post your name below and like that persons name if they are hot/cute/sexy. Cue lots of names and some with loads of likes and two or three with none. I just though for those kids whatever about you thinking you're hideous as all kids do to have it confirmed so publically must be agonising.

I do think its the parents and if I saw that as a parent it would be pulled immediately and major repercussions but in ten years when my daughters that age will I even understand what they're using?

mine is in her second year of college and she ended up going down the route of studying (creative) multimedia, ironically she's moved away from fb and other public social media type sites, though she's moved into areas which celebrate peoples creativity rather than personality and where positive sharing appears to be a much more inspiring and productive process. It's definitely a giant leap away from networking we are familiar with and at the same time while she is very involved in it she also's knows when to tune out and is not a slave to the machine. I think our kids have a lot to offer yet

yoloc · 16-08-2013 10:15pm

pharmaton wrote: »

mine is in her second year of college and she ended up going down the route of studying (creative) multimedia, ironically she's moved away from fb and other public social media type sites, though she's moved into areas which celebrate peoples creativity rather than personality and where positive sharing appears to be a much more inspiring and productive process. It's definitely a giant leap away from networking we are familiar with and at the same time while she is very involved in it she also's knows when to tune out and is not a slave to the machine. I think our kids have a lot to offer yet

Can you explain that more for me

pharmaton · 16-08-2013 10:17pm

yoloc wrote: »

Can you explain that more for me

I brainwashed my kid when she was a baby by playing computer games repetitively. we good?

princess-lala · 16-08-2013 10:23pm

My niece got an ipod for Christmas, she has it on her all the time but not always connected to wifi. Her parents think she's too young for a phone so got her this so she can text me and her grandparents!

So last week we were chatting and she turns to me horrified and says "my mam made me delete my instagram account" I asked why she had one and that she's far too young for things like that! She wasn't impressed that I thought this!

She said there's kids in her class on twitter, facebook and instagram!

She was telling me all about ask.fm and that one of her older cousins uses it and people make fun of her. My niece won't join this cause she said she doesn't want people to make fun of her!!

She's fricken 8!!!

Dick Masterson · 16-08-2013 10:48pm

Uriel. wrote: »

Congratulations, you have reached Paedophile Level 2

Ephebophile*

Heno97 · 16-08-2013 11:11pm

How Soon Is Now wrote: »

Ive posted statues messages on my own facebook about it before but its ****ing disgusting to see the way young teen girls are dressing and then posting the pictures on there facebooks and sharing them around other pages free for anyone and everyone to see.

To make it even worse there mothers fathers auntys uncles etc are all on there facebook.

The only time an issue will become a problem is when someone gets assaulted or worse then ''Its an outrage close down the site should all be banned''

The whole ask.fm thing was a perfect example i came across a fan page on facebook trying to have it closed down all hysterical women complaining the usual ****e even though most of them all they would have to do is look at there feed or daughters/sons facebook page and see what there doing and using. Not everyone blocks everything i can see what my cousins friends are doing ffs sure.

The fact of the matter is theres no surprise what some kids are doing on there pages because there family's are doing the same things.

Everytime u post a picture on facebook more then half of the time its been done because your looking for attention or a good reaction theres no other reason in most cases.

Everyone on facebook count the amount of times over the weekend you will see someone on your friends list post up a picture of themselfs or someone else and look at the comments and likes. ''your stunning'' ''you look amazing'' ''looking fab girls'' bla bla bla.

Teenagers dressing in a way that adults disagree with,nonsensical!
:rolleyes:

I've recently begun subjecting potential facebook friends to a rigorous screening process,my feed is clean as a whistle!

Young teens and social networks

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