Bishop of Meath bans eulogies at funeral masses

PopePalpatine · 12-08-2013 03:21PM

Bannasidhe wrote: »

Don't be silly - he's your granddad so you deserve some attention too.

I hope your grandfather's passing is peaceful and pain free and he is not afraid of whatever does or does not happen next.

I also hope that your grief will be tempered by happy memories.

I might sound like a dick for saying this, but I don't know him that well. I worked with him on Saturday mornings for about a year and didn't get on with him.

Bannasidhe · 12-08-2013 03:23PM

PopePalpatine wrote: »

I might sound like a dick for saying this, but I don't know him that well. I worked with him on Saturday mornings for about a year and didn't get on with him.

No, you don't sound like a dick - you sound like an honest person voicing an unpleasant personal truth.

A refreshing thing to encounter in Ireland.

lazygal · 12-08-2013 03:27PM

PopePalpatine wrote: »

I might sound like a dick for saying this, but I don't know him that well. I worked with him on Saturday mornings for about a year and didn't get on with him.

Nothing wrong with that.

I shed no tears when my father's mother died. She was an unpleasant woman and her funeral tributes were the height of hypocrasy.

robindch · 12-08-2013 03:49PM

lazygal wrote: »

[...] her funeral tributes were the height of hypocrasy.

Oddly enough, that's what Mr Smith appears to be trying to get rid of. Which isn't a completely crap idea, if it could be done in some more diplomatic manner.

Personally, I'd be on for people reading out whatever eulogy they like, then people in the church being free to score the eulogy for form and accuracy. Might cut down on some of the more florid, unrealistic crap.

Then again, perhaps you'd get more of this, which might be no bad thing either:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CkxCHybM6Ek

FouxDaFaFa · 12-08-2013 03:58PM

PopePalpatine wrote: »

Well, this is awkward. That's the diocese I live in, and my granddad's been diagnosed with terminal cancer with <1.5 years to live.

Sorry to hear that.

It seems like you should allow the family to do whatever they feel will make them feel better, like the church should step back and say "this isn't all about us".

I can't see it being popular with most catholics.

PopePalpatine · 12-08-2013 04:14PM

lazygal wrote: »

Nothing wrong with that.

I shed no tears when my father's mother died. She was an unpleasant woman and her funeral tributes were the height of hypocrasy.

Nah, it's not that he's unpleasant all of the time. The only time I invoked his ire was during work, and I'll admit that I'm a lazy worker.

kylith · 12-08-2013 04:20PM

lazygal wrote: »

Nothing wrong with that.

I shed no tears when my father's mother died. She was an unpleasant woman and her funeral tributes were the height of hypocrasy.

I shed no tears for my grandmother. Not because she was unpleasant, she was a wonderful person. But because watching her die of cancer was horrible; she became shrunken and shrivelled, and trapped inside what was essentially already a dead body, so I wasn't sad when she died. I was glad for her that she'd been released from any pain she was in.

Only two of his sisters cried at my uncle's funeral, and I think that if it was up to the rest of the family they'd just have had him buried quietly. Even his children only turned up to make sure he was dead. He was a drunken scumbag who I never heard of doing a good deed. I can't say the funeral was hypocritical; the priest just did the 'This is So-and-So, he's dead, look after him God'. There has to be a limit to how much you can lie about someone, I suppose.

Nodin · 12-08-2013 04:23PM

PopePalpatine wrote: »

Nah, it's not that he's unpleasant all of the time. The only time I invoked his ire was during work, and I'll admit that I'm a lazy worker.

something something young people blather blather in my day blah blah blah skelp of a blackthorn stick yammer yammer

ShooterSF · 12-08-2013 05:01PM

As a Meath resident it would be a shame for the many followers of the church in the area. One of the most touching funerals I was ever at was for a friends father who was involved in the town band and music in general a lot of his life. They had an orchestra set up in the church to play during the service and plenty of personal eulogies and speeches by family members. Most funerals are just like (what I imagine) "normal" mass is with the deceased name mentioned and a bit more silence.

GLaDOS · 12-08-2013 05:11PM

I hate Catholic funerals because I feel they're very impersonal. A final ceremony for a recently lost loved one, and most of it doesn't even mention them. The eulogy is the one part where people get a chance at a final reflection on the life of someone close to them.

That said, the Church is entitled to do whatever they want. It's their ceremony.

lazygal · 12-08-2013 05:16PM

Most Catholic funerals are like Catholic weddings - a good long mass with a bonus ceremonial bit in the middle. I always laugh when people refer to the 'personal' Catholic wedding or funeral service they had, because every single one I've been to has been exactly the same as all the others. Sure the priest might be a bit less dogmatic at some or the readings might be slightly different, but really, they are all the same.

Pherekydes · 14-08-2013 02:03PM

This is being discussed on Joe Duffy right now.

Sarky · 14-08-2013 02:05PM

I imagine it's a disgrace.

kylith · 14-08-2013 02:06PM

Anyone see True Blood this week?

That had a funeral that seemed nothing but eulogies. It looked really nice.

Sarky · 14-08-2013 02:07PM

Sandman: The Wake was one massive eulogy, and it was f*cking awesome.

Cabaal · 14-08-2013 08:09PM

Podcast of Liveline discussion on this
http://podcast.rasset.ie/podcasts/audio/2013/0814/20130814_rteradio1-liveline-eulogiesat_c20421638_20421640_232_.mp3

So apparently telling the truth about somebody at a eulogy is wrong and a catholic mass gives people even of other faiths hope, now lads we're wrong.

Corkfeen · 14-08-2013 09:24PM

Cabaal wrote: »

Podcast of Liveline discussion on this
http://podcast.rasset.ie/podcasts/audio/2013/0814/20130814_rteradio1-liveline-eulogiesat_c20421638_20421640_232_.mp3

So apparently telling the truth about somebody at a eulogy is wrong and a catholic mass gives people even of other faiths hope, now lads we're wrong.

And atheists saying that Catholic funeral were they favourite funerals, nice plug for Jesus. People just want to 'abuse' the funerals struck me as a bad choice of words. I'd personally love for The Can Can to played at my funeral.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Diu2N8TGKA

There'd be a Wayne's World head bop at it from the funeral goers..

PopePalpatine · 14-08-2013 10:23PM

I'm thinking of "Thoughts Of A Dying Atheist" by Muse for my funeral. :pac:

Nodin · 14-08-2013 10:40PM

PopePalpatine wrote: »

I'm thinking of "Thoughts Of A Dying Atheist" by Muse for my funeral. :pac:

Or you could try....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9A6gkzSv8so

iguana · 14-08-2013 10:47PM

A few years ago one of my uncles died suddenly over Christmas and I agreed to do a reading at it as my grandmother asked and pretty much no-one else would (most of my family on that side are A or A). The priest gave me a booklet of common funeral readings and they were so awful I set out to find a better one. I figured I could find some passage that would say something nice and comforting about dying. I didn't care about spouting bull****, my grandmother is a believer and she'd just lost a child so my only goal was to find something that might relieve her pain a little. It was impossible, everything was impersonal, and kind of violent and nasty. In the end I opted for the shortest passage from the booklet the priest gave me as it was the least vile, probably due to it's shortness.

Sarky · 15-08-2013 12:53AM

PopePalpatine wrote: »

I'm thinking of "Thoughts Of A Dying Atheist" by Muse for my funeral. :pac:

Only one possible option for me, really:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOK4Mxl_eys

Doctor Strange · 15-08-2013 01:06AM

My aunts and uncles find themselves pondering this as they move into advanced age. None of them are particularly religious, and in all honesty given the humour in my family, a Chapman-esque send off would be more appropriate than some guy who's never met them droning on and on about how X was such a good person, always saw the light in people etc.

Zemuppet · 15-08-2013 03:38AM

Unlike other funerals I've been to, my brother's funeral was an actual celebration of his life and had more laughter than sadness than a normal funeral would have. The parish priest gave us so much freedom in choosing what we wanted that it made the grieving process much more easier for me and my family. We were allowed to pick the choirs songs, play the Simpsons theme song and "Spiderpig" entering and leaving the church and most importantly of all, allow my brother and I, to write and say our own eulogies without any restrictions or time limits.

Personal eulogies I believe offer the family a chance to grieve properly and allow them to express their feelings for the deceased and I hope that families in that parish will be able to make eulogies again.

As for myself, Sarky chose an excellent song for any atheist funeral, but I'd request my family to choose these two songs, one for before and one after the funeral service to wind up the other people as a joke

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GwjfUFyY6M

Imagine after the coffin is lowered, you are about to leave and this comes on

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wz_DNrKVrQ8

Kiwi in IE · 15-08-2013 09:37AM

Cabaal wrote: »

More backward stuff like this that annoys people and maybe people will start leaving the church more?

http://www.thejournal.ie/eulogy-funeral-banned-1032769-Aug2013

HAHAHAHAHA! This is great. The more they alienate the 'cultural' Catholics the better. Their membership might start showing at statistically realistic levels if they keep this up. I can't wait to see more secular funeral parlours open around the place. I might even get to have my funeral and be cremated close to home instead of having to go to Dublin for a non religious service!

petronius · 16-08-2013 02:31PM

I think people should show respect - if you have a church funeral then it should be solemn

I attended a funeral where a very unsuitable song was played, rather than the attendees sympathising with the family on their sad loss, sniggers were heard.

I don't want to see a can of guinness (or 20 major) placed on top of a coffin or
a poem telling about what movie characters they were like or stories of drunken exploits
or how they got their nickname due to a bodily function
or such crassness

I think respect is vital
If i go into an orthodox church I will wear long sleeves and trousers, if i am at a jewish event I will wear the cap.

Nodin · 16-08-2013 02:33PM

petronius wrote: »

I think people should show respect - if you have a church funeral then it should be solemn

I attended a funeral where a very unsuitable song was played, rather than the attendees sympathising with the family on their sad loss, sniggers were heard..

.....how do ye know that wasn't the idea?

petronius wrote: »

I don't want to see a can of guinness (or 20 major) placed on top of a coffin or
a poem telling about what movie characters they were like or stories of drunken exploits
or how they got their nickname due to a bodily function
or such crassness.

So ye prefer the anonymous and impersonal.

Cabaal · 16-08-2013 02:52PM

petronius wrote: »

I think people should show respect - if you have a church funeral then it should be solemn

I attended a funeral where a very unsuitable song was played, rather than the attendees sympathising with the family on their sad loss, sniggers were heard.

I don't want to see a can of guinness (or 20 major) placed on top of a coffin or
a poem telling about what movie characters they were like or stories of drunken exploits
or how they got their nickname due to a bodily function
or such crassness

I think respect is vital
If i go into an orthodox church I will wear long sleeves and trousers, if i am at a jewish event I will wear the cap.

So you don't want anything that represents the actual persons, life, humor or life experiences used at their funeral?

The problem with not having a eulogy is you are in one of three situations:
- The priest knows them because they attended mass and chatted to them now and then, generally he just says they attended mass alot and were very religious. This only really applys if the person was very old in the majority of cases.

- The priest lies and comments about the person about how they were this and that and in no way knows anything about them or their personality (most common from my experience)

- The priest gets "some" second or third hand info about the person, he then relays some of it.

Not a very good way of representing a person after they die,

Oh and by the way People laughed an awful lot at chapman's funeral, I'm sure thats exactly what he wanted

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7x9uhrg4Hs

But if the church wants respect then so be it, my hope is that they'll get it and people will realise that the church doesn't fit their requirements for funerals anymore and they'll go elsewhere.

I'm sure that'll make the local priests and bishops happy.

petronius · 16-08-2013 06:40PM

If you are having a a funeral (or a wedding for that matter) in a religious building you should respect to those who are members of that community.
It should be personalised and related to the individual of course but only within the boundaries of respect.

If not hold it elsewhere - I am sure there are plenty of hotels who would easily rent a room out
although if you have ever been to a memorial service in the states with multiple eulogies and were left wondering were they two different people.

Doctor DooM · 16-08-2013 07:01PM

Long as the coffin can be lowered to the Tetris theme, I'm good either way tbh.

vibe666 · 16-08-2013 07:06PM

Cabaal wrote: »

My sister always wanted Bat Out of Hell,
Surely its a hymm about leaving hell?

my mum's best friend died a few months ago and that was played at her funeral (non-religious in the UK).

it suited her very well and she had a great send off.

Bishop of Meath bans eulogies at funeral masses

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