Bishop of Meath bans eulogies at funeral masses

Cabaal

More backward stuff like this that annoys people and maybe people will start leaving the church more?

http://www.thejournal.ie/eulogy-funeral-banned-1032769-Aug2013

Pherekydes

A good argument for having a humanist funeral.

Penn

The personal eulogy is one of a number of things mentioned in the directive that the Bishop feels have no place at funerals.

Hehehehe

hehehehehehehehehehehehee

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

BrianBoru00

to be fair, I don't see it as necessarily backward. If people want a Catholic mass, then they should follow the rules. Otherwise there are other options available.
In any case, the eulogy can still be given after the burial.

I know it has been banned in other diocese as well as pop music and certain "gifts" - came to a head a few years ago when one of the "gifts" brought to the alter was a bra to symbolise the deceased love of good times.....

I've witnessed some eulogies which were similarly inappropriate so I don't think its a big deal...

Joe prim

There goes my dream of having Smack my Bitch Up played as my coffin is carried out, but , just as a matter of curiosity, is Stairway to Heaven still included in the official Catholic liturgy.?i mean, it's a hymn, innit ?

Cabaal

Joe prim wrote: »

There goes my dream of having Smack my Bitch Up played as my coffin is carried out, but , just as a matter of curiosity, is Stairway to Heaven still included in the official Catholic liturgy.?i mean, it's a hymn, innit ?

My sister always wanted Bat Out of Hell,
Surely its a hymm about leaving hell?

Anyway, on a serious note,

Whilst I won't obviously be having a catholic funeral I know for a fact my family will as they just do the run of the mill stuff like pretty much all of Ireland who are none practicing.

Anyway, I know from experience that the PA system in the local graveyard is ****e and you can't even hear the priest on it so it isn't a suitable place for a eulogy.

I've been to a number of funerals recently where the priest talked about how such and such was a lovely man and all that nonsense, I know for a fact the priest never talked to them before they died. So the priest was talking nonsense.

So I suppose when it comes to my family, I'd rather not hear a priest lie about knowing either of my parents I'd much rather do a eulogy in the church due to the crap PA system.

If the priest wants to be brave or stupid enough to pull me off the alter during a funeral of a family member then nobody is going to like him afterwards.

Obliq

"The personal eulogy is one of a number of things mentioned in the directive that the Bishop feels have no place at funerals."

I also think that's hilarious. Why, it would be much more appropriate to have some stranger in a fancy dress speak about the life of the deceased than some of the people who actually knew them.....

kylith

I wish they'd stop priests talking at funerals; of the last two I was at one was, imo, insulting to the deceased (kept going on about what a good servant the deceased was), the other was bizarre (he kept going on about aliens spying on the funeral through cameras in the statues. It may have been a remark on funereal rites, but someone's family member had died tragically young and it most certainly was not the time for insane speculation).

Corkfeen

Alienating their followers, they're so good at it at this point. Eulogies are one of the few personable moments during a funeral, bleak cannibalism and hymns are what's left after that.

Akrasia

I hate the catholic funeral ceremomy. It is ridiculously impersonal.

At my fathers funeral the priest lied about how he used to take his children to mass every week, the priest called my father by the wrong name twice and he got my name and my brothers name wrong (gerry and daniel instead of gary and david)

The only positive part of the funeral was an extremely moving eulogy delivered by my uncle.
Other than that, the funeral mass was a completely pointless and unwelcome intrusion into the grieving process.

That said, I never go to mass except for weddings and funerals so I only get to hear the gospels and readings on these occasions. I'll never understand how anyone can listen to the gibberish that passes for 'gospel' every week.

Is there anyone at mass who actually listens to the readings and if so, how can they stay a catholic afterwards?

Sarky

Banning the one part of a funeral where people actually celebrate the deceased's life. Unless the pub after the boring dreary rituals counts. Genius! This will have the prodigal flock just SWARMING back to the churches!

robindch

Why stop at the euology?

Perhaps Mr Smith would enjoy his funerals much more if he could ban the corpse and all those dreadful people weeping up front.

eviltwin

The more the church do to make themselves redundant the better however taking the feelings of the grieving family into account it seems a bit heavy handed.

I can appreciate the point of view that secular and modern additions to religious ceremonies isn't strictly in the rules but given that the people involved are going through one of the hardest times in their lives saying goodbye to a loved one you would think the priests would just accept it and let it pass.

Its not doing any harm so why make a grieving family feel worse?

Sarky

eviltwin wrote: »

Its not doing any harm so why make a grieving family feel worse?

I'd like to see a response to this bit from anyone who thinks "what's the harm?" to any of the religious interference in what's supposed to be a secular country.

lazygal

Another 'Catholics want to suit themselves and complain when the rules of their club are enforced' story. I personally cringe at 'gifts' being brought to the alter such as hurls and Liverpool jerseys. Not because of religious objection but because its beyond tacky.

Nodin

Cabaal wrote: »

More backward stuff like this that annoys people and maybe people will start leaving the church more?

http://www.thejournal.ie/eulogy-funeral-banned-1032769-Aug2013

Man's a prick.

Sarky

lazygal wrote: »

Another 'Catholics want to suit themselves and complain when the rules of their club are enforced' story. I personally cringe at 'gifts' being brought to the alter such as hurls and Liverpool jerseys. Not because of religious objection but because its beyond tacky.

I can picture what people would bring up if it was my funeral. A bottle of single malt scotch, a stack of Dungeons & Dragons books and a Batman figurine, probably.

lazygal

Sarky wrote: »

I can picture what people would bring up if it was my funeral. A bottle of single malt scotch, a stack of Dungeons & Dragons books and a Batman figurine, probably.

And biscuits. Me, it'd have to be a Hawaiian pizza.

Bannasidhe

Akrasia wrote: »

I hate the catholic funeral ceremomy. It is ridiculously impersonal.

At my fathers funeral the priest lied about how he used to take his children to mass every week, the priest called my father by the wrong name twice and he got my name and my brothers name wrong (gerry and daniel instead of gary and david)

The only positive part of the funeral was an extremely moving eulogy delivered by my uncle.
Other than that, the funeral mass was a completely pointless and unwelcome intrusion into the grieving process.

That said, I never go to mass except for weddings and funerals so I only get to hear the gospels and readings on these occasions. I'll never understand how anyone can listen to the gibberish that passes for 'gospel' every week.

Is there anyone at mass who actually listens to the readings and if so, how can they stay a catholic afterwards?

'Our' Parish priest at my (went to Mass every single morning -including the morning after washing the body of her dead aged 55 husband) grandmother's funeral Mass gave a touching address all about how wonderful Mrs O'Brien was and how she would be missed - I'm sure Mrs O'Brien was a lovely woman - whoever she may have been - but it was small comfort to the family of Mrs O'Connell whose funeral we were at...

Bannasidhe

lazygal wrote: »

Another 'Catholics want to suit themselves and complain when the rules of their club are enforced' story. I personally cringe at 'gifts' being brought to the alter such as hurls and Liverpool jerseys. Not because of religious objection but because its beyond tacky.

That's the bit I like best - it's soooo pagany grave goods which Christianity has been trying to ban since before the Sutton Hoo burial.

My favourite so far were the bottle of Gordon's and Schweps Tonic plus tumbler and a lime on a silver tray, a copy of the Racing Post with a magnifying glass, a packet of Silk Cut, a lighter and a travel ashtray plus some binoculars for a wonderful old woman from Dunmanway who loved the gee-gee racing something fierce.

I wanted to bring up knitting needles and 3 ply wool at my grandmother's funeral on the grounds that if her hands weren't fully occupied she reverted to an 8 year old brat whose idea of funny was to torment the nearest person (usually me) by pinching/poking/prodding and other irritating invasions of personal space. I was overruled. :mad:

PopePalpatine

Well, this is awkward. That's the diocese I live in, and my granddad's been diagnosed with terminal cancer with <1.5 years to live.

Bannasidhe

PopePalpatine wrote: »

Well, this is awkward. That's the diocese I live in, and my granddad's been diagnosed with terminal cancer with <1.5 years to live.

kylith

PopePalpatine wrote: »

Well, this is awkward. That's the diocese I live in, and my granddad's been diagnosed with terminal cancer with <1.5 years to live.

I'm sorry to hear that.

magicbastarder

a friend of mine went to his uncle's funeral, at which 'hotel california' was played, at his uncle's dying request. he wanted to make sure the congregation found his funeral an unpleasant experience.

Bannasidhe

magicbastarder wrote: »

a friend of mine went to his uncle's funeral, at which 'hotel california' was played, at his uncle's dying request. he wanted to make sure the congregation found his funeral an unpleasant experience.

PopePalpatine

kylith wrote: »

I'm sorry to hear that.

Thanks for the condolences, I haven't brought it up before because I didn't want to be the centre of attention in this case.

Nodin

.....the most personalised one I was at was a protestant one - Elim Pentacostals. Fair enough yer man tore the arse out of "the saving blood of Christ" but the overall thing was dedicated to the memory of the deceased, complete with funny songs, items to evoke the memory and so on. I've been at a few catholic ones which were a good bit 'we now remember <insert name here>, a great fan of <something the relatives told me>.

seamus

Thankfully I haven't been to many funerals, but the ones which came across as the warmest and a celebration of the deceased are those which included a personal eulogy from a family member.

The ones which were formulaic, were emotionless, pointless, meaningless affairs that many people were just sleeping through. That's not a celebration.

marketty

Good news.
The more the church pushes on keeping things traditional (which they should do to be honest, if they are to be true to their faith) then more average Irish lapsed Catholics will start to give serious consideration to abandoning the charade of celebrating births/marriages/deaths in an institution they don't believe in.
Catholic Mass should be left to Catholics, and not just be the de facto venue for funerals etc

Bannasidhe

PopePalpatine wrote: »

Thanks for the condolences, I haven't brought it up before because I didn't want to be the centre of attention in this case.

Don't be silly - he's your granddad so you deserve some attention too.

I hope your grandfather's passing is peaceful and pain free and he is not afraid of whatever does or does not happen next.

I also hope that your grief will be tempered by happy memories.

Cork boy 55

Alternative funeral type for atheists

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=83132003

PopePalpatine

Bannasidhe wrote: »

Don't be silly - he's your granddad so you deserve some attention too.

I hope your grandfather's passing is peaceful and pain free and he is not afraid of whatever does or does not happen next.

I also hope that your grief will be tempered by happy memories.

I might sound like a dick for saying this, but I don't know him that well. I worked with him on Saturday mornings for about a year and didn't get on with him.

Bannasidhe

PopePalpatine wrote: »

I might sound like a dick for saying this, but I don't know him that well. I worked with him on Saturday mornings for about a year and didn't get on with him.

No, you don't sound like a dick - you sound like an honest person voicing an unpleasant personal truth.

A refreshing thing to encounter in Ireland.

lazygal

PopePalpatine wrote: »

I might sound like a dick for saying this, but I don't know him that well. I worked with him on Saturday mornings for about a year and didn't get on with him.

Nothing wrong with that.

I shed no tears when my father's mother died. She was an unpleasant woman and her funeral tributes were the height of hypocrasy.

robindch

lazygal wrote: »

[...] her funeral tributes were the height of hypocrasy.

Oddly enough, that's what Mr Smith appears to be trying to get rid of. Which isn't a completely crap idea, if it could be done in some more diplomatic manner.

Personally, I'd be on for people reading out whatever eulogy they like, then people in the church being free to score the eulogy for form and accuracy. Might cut down on some of the more florid, unrealistic crap.

Then again, perhaps you'd get more of this, which might be no bad thing either:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CkxCHybM6Ek

FouxDaFaFa

PopePalpatine wrote: »

Well, this is awkward. That's the diocese I live in, and my granddad's been diagnosed with terminal cancer with <1.5 years to live.

Sorry to hear that.

It seems like you should allow the family to do whatever they feel will make them feel better, like the church should step back and say "this isn't all about us".

I can't see it being popular with most catholics.

PopePalpatine

lazygal wrote: »

Nothing wrong with that.

I shed no tears when my father's mother died. She was an unpleasant woman and her funeral tributes were the height of hypocrasy.

Nah, it's not that he's unpleasant all of the time. The only time I invoked his ire was during work, and I'll admit that I'm a lazy worker.

kylith

lazygal wrote: »

Nothing wrong with that.

I shed no tears when my father's mother died. She was an unpleasant woman and her funeral tributes were the height of hypocrasy.

I shed no tears for my grandmother. Not because she was unpleasant, she was a wonderful person. But because watching her die of cancer was horrible; she became shrunken and shrivelled, and trapped inside what was essentially already a dead body, so I wasn't sad when she died. I was glad for her that she'd been released from any pain she was in.

Only two of his sisters cried at my uncle's funeral, and I think that if it was up to the rest of the family they'd just have had him buried quietly. Even his children only turned up to make sure he was dead. He was a drunken scumbag who I never heard of doing a good deed. I can't say the funeral was hypocritical; the priest just did the 'This is So-and-So, he's dead, look after him God'. There has to be a limit to how much you can lie about someone, I suppose.

Nodin

PopePalpatine wrote: »

Nah, it's not that he's unpleasant all of the time. The only time I invoked his ire was during work, and I'll admit that I'm a lazy worker.

something something young people blather blather in my day blah blah blah skelp of a blackthorn stick yammer yammer

ShooterSF

As a Meath resident it would be a shame for the many followers of the church in the area. One of the most touching funerals I was ever at was for a friends father who was involved in the town band and music in general a lot of his life. They had an orchestra set up in the church to play during the service and plenty of personal eulogies and speeches by family members. Most funerals are just like (what I imagine) "normal" mass is with the deceased name mentioned and a bit more silence.

GLaDOS

I hate Catholic funerals because I feel they're very impersonal. A final ceremony for a recently lost loved one, and most of it doesn't even mention them. The eulogy is the one part where people get a chance at a final reflection on the life of someone close to them.

That said, the Church is entitled to do whatever they want. It's their ceremony.

lazygal

Most Catholic funerals are like Catholic weddings - a good long mass with a bonus ceremonial bit in the middle. I always laugh when people refer to the 'personal' Catholic wedding or funeral service they had, because every single one I've been to has been exactly the same as all the others. Sure the priest might be a bit less dogmatic at some or the readings might be slightly different, but really, they are all the same.

Pherekydes

This is being discussed on Joe Duffy right now.

Sarky

I imagine it's a disgrace.

kylith

Anyone see True Blood this week?

That had a funeral that seemed nothing but eulogies. It looked really nice.

Sarky

Sandman: The Wake was one massive eulogy, and it was f*cking awesome.

Cabaal

Podcast of Liveline discussion on this
http://podcast.rasset.ie/podcasts/audio/2013/0814/20130814_rteradio1-liveline-eulogiesat_c20421638_20421640_232_.mp3

So apparently telling the truth about somebody at a eulogy is wrong and a catholic mass gives people even of other faiths hope, now lads we're wrong.

Corkfeen

Cabaal wrote: »

Podcast of Liveline discussion on this
http://podcast.rasset.ie/podcasts/audio/2013/0814/20130814_rteradio1-liveline-eulogiesat_c20421638_20421640_232_.mp3

So apparently telling the truth about somebody at a eulogy is wrong and a catholic mass gives people even of other faiths hope, now lads we're wrong.

And atheists saying that Catholic funeral were they favourite funerals, nice plug for Jesus. People just want to 'abuse' the funerals struck me as a bad choice of words. I'd personally love for The Can Can to played at my funeral.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Diu2N8TGKA

There'd be a Wayne's World head bop at it from the funeral goers..

PopePalpatine

I'm thinking of "Thoughts Of A Dying Atheist" by Muse for my funeral. :pac:

Nodin

PopePalpatine wrote: »

I'm thinking of "Thoughts Of A Dying Atheist" by Muse for my funeral. :pac:

Or you could try....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9A6gkzSv8so

iguana

A few years ago one of my uncles died suddenly over Christmas and I agreed to do a reading at it as my grandmother asked and pretty much no-one else would (most of my family on that side are A or A). The priest gave me a booklet of common funeral readings and they were so awful I set out to find a better one. I figured I could find some passage that would say something nice and comforting about dying. I didn't care about spouting bull****, my grandmother is a believer and she'd just lost a child so my only goal was to find something that might relieve her pain a little. It was impossible, everything was impersonal, and kind of violent and nasty. In the end I opted for the shortest passage from the booklet the priest gave me as it was the least vile, probably due to it's shortness.