Slapping/Smacking Children:Regional variations in practice and acceptability

Kettleson · 14-08-2013 10:16am #1

My 11 year old girl recently spent a week in the north where she was very shocked to see on 2 separate occasions, children being slapped by their parents.

One instance, back of head, the other instance across back of legs. She had never seen that before.

I then recalled the last time I seen a parent slap one of his children, he was from the north. And similarly a few days ago I heard a man threaten to "beat the hell" out of his young daughter, also from the north.

However, has anyone else noticed regional variations on the toleration and practice of child slapping/smacking?

Dfmnoc · 14-08-2013 10:21am

I believe we should bring back slapping, Majority of kids are out of control these days.

Mr Benevolent · 14-08-2013 10:25am

Dfmnoc wrote: »

Majority of kids are out of control these days.

Showing your naivety there. They were saying the same thing 3000 years ago.

It always amazes me how people came blithely trot out such rubbish without engaging the smallest part of their brain.

RachaelVO · 14-08-2013 10:26am

I've never notice anything regional about it. I've seen it in every province, and in a few countries. I don't think it actually achieves anything, but some parents obviously do.

I've said it to them when we're messing alright... along the lines of "I'll bate ya when I get ya..." they think thats hilarious! Best way I've found of disciplining them is taking their stuff away, that's their currency and that works for me.

TBH though, I don't criticise any parent for giving their kids the odd slap. There's a helluva difference between the odd slap and a beating. Believe it or not there are "rules" on giving your child a slap. Like not using an implement, using an open hand, all that sort of thing.

seamus · 14-08-2013 10:27am

Dfmnoc wrote: »

Majority of kids are out of control these days.

Pretty sure when they were beating kids black and blue that people were saying the same thing. "A good day's work down the mines will sort them out, no respect for their elders, they don't".

Physical punishment is not proven to have any kind of deterrent effect.

"When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly disrespectful and impatient of restraint".
Hesiod, 8th century BC

"What is happening to our young people? They disrespect their elders, they disobey their parents. They ignore the law. They riot in the streets inflamed with wild notions. Their morals are decaying. What is to become of them?"
Plato, 4th Century BC

"The young people of today think of nothing but themselves. They have no reverence for parents or old age. They are impatient of all restraint... As for the girls, they are forward, immodest and unladylike in speech, behavior and dress."
Attributed to Peter the Hermit, AD 1274

If one thing is constant it's that as you get older you become increasingly forgetful of who you were when you were young. Adults have been complaining about young people since humans have been able to communicate.

sillysmiles · 14-08-2013 10:28am

Kettleson wrote: »

I'm not trying to stir up a debate on child slapping as its totally, deplorable, unacceptable and I believe, a potential criminal act.

That's one way to try to not stir up a debate.

Ush1 · 14-08-2013 10:29am

Mr Benevolent wrote: »

Showing your naivety there. They were saying the same thing 3000 years ago.

It always amazes me how people came blithely trot out such rubbish without engaging the smallest part of their brain.

Policemen are shorter and younger, plus too many fardiners around.

Kettleson · 14-08-2013 10:31am

RachaelVO wrote: »

I've never notice anything regional about it. I've seen it in every province, and in a few countries. I don't think it actually achieves anything, but some parents obviously do.

I've said it to them when we're messing alright... along the lines of "I'll bate ya when I get ya..." they think thats hilarious! Best way I've found of disciplining them is taking their stuff away, that's their currency and that works for me.

TBH though, I don't criticise any parent for giving their kids the odd slap. There's a helluva difference between the odd slap and a beating. Believe it or not there are "rules" on giving your child a slap. Like not using an implement, using an open hand, all that sort of thing.

Thanks for that. Specifically interested in the regional opinions.

And meanwhile in adult world, if you lay a finger on another person, it's assault. And even a threat of intention "I'll beat you" is a verbal assault.

Would be interested in any links you have on those "rules" you mentioned.

RachaelVO · 14-08-2013 10:34am

seamus wrote: »

Pretty sure when they were beating kids black and blue that people were saying the same thing. "A good day's work down the mines will sort them out, no respect for their elders, they don't".

Physical punishment is not proven to have any kind of deterrent effect.

"When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly disrespectful and impatient of restraint".
Hesiod, 8th century BC

"What is happening to our young people? They disrespect their elders, they disobey their parents. They ignore the law. They riot in the streets inflamed with wild notions. Their morals are decaying. What is to become of them?"
Plato, 4th Century BC

"The young people of today think of nothing but themselves. They have no reverence for parents or old age. They are impatient of all restraint... As for the girls, they are forward, immodest and unladylike in speech, behavior and dress."
Attributed to Peter the Hermit, AD 1274

If one thing is constant it's that as you get older you become increasingly forgetful of who you were when you were young. Adults have been complaining about young people since humans have been able to communicate.

Love those quotes, perceptions of youth haven't changed one little bit from generation to generation.

Kettleson · 14-08-2013 10:34am

sillysmiles wrote: »

That's one way to try to not stir up a debate.

Yes indeed, I had considered that. Perhaps I should delete that from the post?

o1s1n · 14-08-2013 10:35am

Dfmnoc wrote: »

I believe we should bring back slapping, Majority of kids are out of control these days.

If you are involved at all with teaching and education, you will notice that the there is a direct correlation between the most unruly kids and those who are smacked and hit by their parents. Smacking does not fix this.

They're hit by their parents and then think that violence is a way of solving issues, so go around hitting the other kids.

I know there are instances where parents get a shock (their kid runs out on the road or something) and they resort to smacking; that's what I think the whole practice comes down to. Parents having a lack of control on a situation, have no clue how to deal with it, so resort to something fairly primitive.

Kettleson · 14-08-2013 10:37am

RachaelVO wrote: »

I've never notice anything regional about it. I've seen it in every province, and in a few countries. I don't think it actually achieves anything, but some parents obviously do.

I've said it to them when we're messing alright... along the lines of "I'll bate ya when I get ya..." they think thats hilarious! Best way I've found of disciplining them is taking their stuff away, that's their currency and that works for me.

TBH though, I don't criticise any parent for giving their kids the odd slap. There's a helluva difference between the odd slap and a beating. Believe it or not there are "rules" on giving your child a slap. Like not using an implement, using an open hand, all that sort of thing.

The thing that made me think, was that my 11 year old daughter had never seen a child being smacked until she went to another region. Otherwise I would not have thought it of any significance.

anncoates · 14-08-2013 10:39am

Kettleson wrote: »

I'm not trying to stir up a debate on child slapping

Kettleson wrote: »

Child slapping (is a) totally, deplorable, unacceptable and I believe, a potential criminal act.

I see.

Dfmnoc · 14-08-2013 10:41am

Kettleson wrote: »

Yes indeed, I had considered that. Perhaps I should delete that from the post?

You cant delete that or my post will look out of place

ceadaoin. · 14-08-2013 10:42am

Dfmnoc wrote: »

I believe we should bring back slapping, Majority of kids are out of control these days.

Get a grip, no they aren't! Unless you are one of those people who think that children should never open their mouths in public or be allowed anywhere besides a playground or park.

Kettleson · 14-08-2013 10:43am

anncoates wrote: »

I see.

I have deleted my opinion.

SpaceTime · 14-08-2013 10:44am

There probably are regional differences, especially with Northern Ireland.

I've noticed that up there too. There is a very old fashioned approach to lots of things up there by a minority of the population. Kind of old school harsh disciplinarian parenting etc would tend to go arm in arm with very conservative attitudes to life in general.

Its definitely not a majority view though.

South of the border its more likely to be verbal threats and usually only from rough parents...

Frank Black · 14-08-2013 10:45am

Didn't we do this a few weeks ago?

Kettleson · 14-08-2013 10:45am

Dfmnoc wrote: »

You cant delete that or my post will look out of place

Apologies for that. My opinion is visible in a quotation if reference needed.

Kettleson · 14-08-2013 10:47am

Frank Black wrote: »

Didn't we do this a few weeks ago?

Regional variations? Lead me to it...

Sir Humphrey Appleby · 14-08-2013 11:25am

Kettleson wrote: »

Thanks for that. Specifically interested in the regional opinions.

And meanwhile in adult world, if you lay a finger on another person, it's assault. And even a threat of intention "I'll beat you" is a verbal assault.

Would be interested in any links you have on those "rules" you mentioned.

Not in Ireland, parents are still legally allowed to slap their kids under what is known sometimes as the "reasonable chastisement" rule.

gobnaitolunacy · 14-08-2013 11:31am

Dfmnoc wrote: »

I believe we should bring back slapping, Majority of kids are out of control these days.

The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for
authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place
of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their
households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They
contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties
at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.

Attributed to SOCRATES by Plato

dgt · 14-08-2013 11:36am

Sir Humphrey Appleby wrote: »

Not in Ireland, parents are still legally allowed to slap their kids under what is known sometimes as the "reasonable chastisement" rule.

When parking my car one evening in the local town, a car behind me had its window open. The charming gentleman started to shout at what looked like a 3 year old, then slap them a few times only to fire them into the back of the car.....

Apart from that incident, I don't see much smacking going on, mostly verbal auld ones

BeerWolf · 14-08-2013 11:38am

Bring back the wooden spoon.

--Kaiser-- · 14-08-2013 11:48am

RachaelVO wrote: »

There's a helluva difference between the odd slap and a beating.

Exactly. I got the 'odd slap' from my parents, I can't say it was ever undeserved and it certainly didn't do me any harm

Fr_Dougal · 14-08-2013 11:55am

Better off not slapping kids, mental torture is much more effective; doesn't leave any marks for them to rat you out either.

cloud493 · 14-08-2013 11:58am

Best way to discipline a child is take their stuff away. They might not be arsed about a slap on the leg, but they'll be arsed if they can't facebook their mates or tweet or whatever it is now.

14-08-2013 11:58am

BeerWolf wrote: »

Bring back the wooden spoon.

thats what I got when I was a kid.

That and a switch:) I was sent out to the bak garden, told to get a switch, if it wasnt big enough I had to go back out and get another one

Got it across the back of the legs.
Sting!!!! I wasnt a bold child too often.

Precious flower · 14-08-2013 11:58am

I got slapped a couple times by my mother, only when I really pushed it. Hit with the wooden spoon, and even slapped across the face once. Damn, that is certainly one slap you never forget! But I was hardly traumatised by it and certainly didn't go round being violent to other people as a result, those children that do that are usually ones that have the crap beaten out of them. In my opinion, I think in places like England where smacking is outlawed is ridiculous. There's a huge difference between giving a slap and beating your child and outlawing slapping will not stop the mother/father you likes to come home and beat her/his children black and blue behind closed doors. Giving your child a small smack is not the end of the world and parents shouldn't be judged for doing it. However, it doesn't always work, epsiecally when the parents don't have a good disciplinary fountain to begin with and uses it every time to correct their child.
Slapping in my opinion is for when nothing else works.

biko · 14-08-2013 12:40pm

Mr Benevolent wrote: »

Showing your naivety there. They were saying the same thing 3000 years ago.

It always amazes me how people came blithely trot out such rubbish without engaging the smallest part of their brain.

Aye, it's clear that kids have degenerated since then. Look at the little fockers now lol.

It always amazes me how posters think it's ok to attack another person's intelligence when they don't agree with them. Could you not simply have asked him to back up his statement instead?

anncoates · 14-08-2013 12:52pm

Have two boys and they can be a real handful. Not really a 'smacker' but have given a smack on the arse or hand, before, albeit not much.

Don't really have to do it these days as they are at the age where deprivation of treats or confiscation of possessions is effective.

Thing about these debates is that no matter how aggrieved people get and no matter how much agenda-driven evidence is presented - and no matter how much passionate conflation with actual/extreme violence is implied - the simple fact remains that for every person here that claims that light physical chastisement has had an adverse effect or leads to violent outlook, there are just as many people for whom the exact opposite is the case.

On a side topic: the idea that modern kids are somehow more out of control/cheekier/wilful than previous generations is just a reverse-nostalgia confection.

Slapping/Smacking Children:Regional variations in practice and acceptability

Comments