feckin awful date stories / funny date stories

wp_rathead · 15-07-2013 11:14AM #1

Prob been done to death but search function on phone version of boards fairly shocking - I know there is a relationship forum but think be much funnier to hear stories from fellow AHers

Mods feel free to move/merge

Anyhow ill tell ya one I had last night:
Wasn't great from the get go, was constantly texting. Thought was bit rude but we carried on chatting, get on alright

Started go downhill when a hen party came into bar we were in.She went "it is a girls own fault if she gets raped if she is dressed sluty"
I was like "er no, it is the rapists fault" and she got thick at me saying "I am to open minded" (as if that a bad thing?)
She went "loads of my friends agree with me, they are asking for it" I went "well loads of your friends are wrong I'm afraid" - I went on to say that I find it bit insultin as makes it seem that a mans default 'mode' is to rape, maye have done nerdy reference to this not being Game of Thrones, a reference she didn't get

Out of no where then later on she asked did I ever have a 1 night stand I was like "yeah I did when in col" and she was like "that is sick" and gave out to me ha. My "relax, it is just consentual sex" line didn't go down well either

And then she went on about how she hates snobs but said soooo many snobby things ha (etc "I wouldn't go to certain pub if it looked kind of scruffy)

Basically it ended when she brought back up the rape thing and i was like "we gonna disagree on this so no point talkin about it" and she said "ya we are so different" - Iwent "ya was bit of a disaster this evening alright" so we agreed to end it there

Tl;dr: Basically cuase I didn't condone rape I was given out too...

Also I'm aware of 1st few comments in these threads:
1) was she hot op? A) yes she was pretty hot but not her personality from my pov
2) Pics or GTFO A) no ye pervs :pac:
3) thinly veiled I had a date thread A) shut up no one finds them posts witty or clever

Anyhow, so lads and lassies, tell your ****ty date stories, or funny stories from dates.. (just realised my story not that funny "ha ha" -but can't stop laughin at it in a bizarre sort of way)

Mr Benevolent · 15-07-2013 11:17AM

Arrrgh, my eyeballs!

jester77 · 15-07-2013 11:19AM

She went... I went ... she went ... I went ... yet neither of you went anywhere. You should have just went home.

Ihatecuddles-old · 15-07-2013 11:21AM

I went on a date and we went home together. Woke up the next morning and I did the biggest fart I've ever heard.

Mortifying.

calanus · 15-07-2013 11:31AM

Well, there was this one time that I went on a date and thought "Wouldn't it be mad craic altogether to bring a bag load of sextoys out with me because the ladies love that kind of stuff".

keithsfleet · 15-07-2013 11:36AM

Went on a date years ago with a girl I had met the previous weekend.

Started off in a quiet pub, then off into a club, then the residents bar then onto an early house and eventually onto Houston station where we ended up in Galway 2 hours later.
Got a hotel and "rested" for a while.
Had a few drinks in Galway then back onto the train and home where we both went our own ways.
Never heard from her again but then again I never tried to contact her.

Mad weekend but in hind sight it never would of worked, she was an Aquarius.

Celly Smunt · 15-07-2013 11:41AM

"lets not turn this rape into a murder"

I told her not to,I told her.

Shelga · 15-07-2013 11:42AM

Went on an awkward first date having met the guy at speed dating. At the end of the evening he walked me to the bus stop and moved in to kiss me as it was hurtling up the road. The most awkward kiss ever with no spark at all on either side. After he'd pulled away the bus had taken off again so I had to make awkward small talk with him for another 5 minutes

I never heard from him again, The End

Bowlardo · 15-07-2013 11:44AM

Celly Smunt wrote: »

"lets not turn this rape into a murder"

I told her not to,I told her.

The is a band called the River vallye band and they have a song where that line is the course of the song!
True story

jonsnow · 15-07-2013 04:07PM

wprathead wrote: »

Prob been done to death but search function on phone version of boards fairly shocking - I know there is a relationship forum but think be much funnier to hear stories from fellow AHers

Mods feel free to move/merge

Anyhow ill tell ya one I had last night:
Wasn't great from the get go, was constantly texting. Thought was bit rude but we carried on chatting, get on alright

Started go downhill when a hen party came into bar we were in.She went "it is a girls own fault if she gets raped if she is dressed sluty"
I was like "er no, it is the rapists fault" and she got thick at me saying "I am to open minded" (as if that a bad thing?)
She went "loads of my friends agree with me, they are asking for it" I went "well loads of your friends are wrong I'm afraid" - I went on to say that I find it bit insultin as makes it seem that a mans default 'mode' is to rape, maye have done nerdy reference to this not being Game of Thrones, a reference she didn't get

Out of no where then later on she asked did I ever have a 1 night stand I was like "yeah I did when in col" and she was like "that is sick" and gave out to me ha. My "relax, it is just consentual sex" line didn't go down well either

And then she went on about how she hates snobs but said soooo many snobby things ha (etc "I wouldn't go to certain pub if it looked kind of scruffy)

Basically it ended when she brought back up the rape thing and i was like "we gonna disagree on this so no point talkin about it" and she said "ya we are so different" - Iwent "ya was bit of a disaster this evening alright" so we agreed to end it there

Tl;dr: Basically cuase I didn't condone rape I was given out too...

Also I'm aware of 1st few comments in these threads:
1) was she hot op? A) yes she was pretty hot but not her personality from my pov
2) Pics or GTFO A) no ye pervs :pac:
3) thinly veiled I had a date thread A) shut up no one finds them posts witty or clever

Anyhow, so lads and lassies, tell your ****ty date stories, or funny stories from dates.. (just realised my story not that funny "ha ha" -but can't stop laughin at it in a bizarre sort of way)

Thinly veiled I had a date thread:D

padd b1975 · 15-07-2013 04:37PM

jonsnow wrote: »

Thinly veiled I had a date thread:D

First one ever, this poster thinks.

Laneyh · 15-07-2013 05:23PM

What a weird topic to discuss on a first date or any date really. Still, at least you got to see ye were incompatible pretty quickly.

I've had a few awkward dates nothing too dramatic. I had one whilst living in London where we went to see a film we went for a drink afterwards. Neither of us were too familiar with the part of town we were in and ended up in gay bar - I didn't really mind the guy was slightly embarassed though.

I went on another date where the guy told me his entire life story including some personal family tragedies bit full on for a first date.

15-07-2013 06:26PM

Ihatecuddles wrote: »

I went on a date and we went home together. Woke up the next morning and I did the biggest fart I've ever heard.

Mortifying.

I love that this post was thanked by Toots

Wacker The Attacker · 15-07-2013 06:37PM

I went on a date with a girl once upon a time and we ended up bck at her place.

As I was leaving the following morning I had to leave via her living room window as the latch on the hall door was broken

rainbowdrop · 15-07-2013 06:53PM

Once went on a date to a pub with a girl I'd chatted with a few times on Plenty Of Fish.

She turned up in tracksuit pants and a Manchester United T-shirt, and had two eyes that went in opposite directions, looking like Perry from Kevin & Perry Go Large. Needless to say, I made my excuses and left half-way through the 1st drink (pretended I had a family emergency).

She rang/txt me about 20 times later that night to know if I'd like to meet the following night instead, but I just ignored all the calls hoping she would take the hint that I was not interested

Instead, she stalked me for about 6 months afterwards with calls and txts which I never replied to.

Bloody basket case!. My one and only attempt at internet dating

15-07-2013 07:10PM

did one of those internet dates before, guy described himself as handsome, said I wouldnt ''have to put a paper bag over his head ' ha ha'' says he.

Well my jaze, when I got there! paper bag over his head?? I wanted to wrap him up in a carpet!!
:eek:

Had one drink to be polite and scarpered .

Sinfonia · 17-07-2013 01:12PM

rainbowdrop wrote: »

Once went on a date to a pub with a girl I'd chatted with a few times on Plenty Of Fish.

She turned up in tracksuit pants and a Manchester United T-shirt, and had two eyes that went in opposite directions, looking like Perry from Kevin & Perry Go Large. Needless to say, I made my excuses and left half-way through the 1st drink (pretended I had a family emergency).

She rang/txt me about 20 times later that night to know if I'd like to meet the following night instead, but I just ignored all the calls hoping she would take the hint that I was not interested

Instead, she stalked me for about 6 months afterwards with calls and txts which I never replied to.

Bloody basket case!. My one and only attempt at internet dating

Jaysus! Did she not have pictures and a description and stuff??

Mr Benevolent · 17-07-2013 02:41PM

I went on few, one ended up sending me her sister's pic on purpose. Needless to say the Lusitania turned up. I developed a stinging headache and fecked off very promptly.

feckin awful date stories / funny date stories

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