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How old is too old to be chasing 18 year olds?

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  • #122
    Karl Stein
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,687 ✭✭✭Karl Stein


    Femme_Fatale wrote: »
    I actually don't see anything wrong with a person who's much older having an encounter or relationship with an 18-year-old, provided they don't have a horrible attitude about it, like on this thread. If you genuinely fancy or like someone, age shouldn't be a barrier to giving it a try IMO. It's the using it as a points-scoring exercise with "the gang" or viewing the 18-year-old as "fresh meat"... how pitiful is that?

    All this talk of really dirty, eager 18-year-olds seems more inspired by porn than real life too.

    Stop talkin' at me will ya?


  • #123
    cheesefiend
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 780 ✭✭✭cheesefiend


    I'm twenty, two years ago if anyone over the age of 24 was coming on to me all I ever thought was 'why the **** would you want to be with me, can you not get anyone your own age?'. I just found it strange and creepy. That is purely based on meeting a fella out, not someone I might have known for a longer amount of time.

    Out of my circle of friends when we were eighteen the oldest any of us had been with was 25.

    I just don't get why anyone over the age of 25 would want to be with an eighteen year old purely for sex. Would you not rather be with someone older who has a bit more experience and therefore a better skillset, so to speak? Makes no sense.

    And also, I have been going out to over eighteens since I was 15 so you really do have to be careful.


  • #124
    The_Kew_Tour
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 34,796 ✭✭✭✭The_Kew_Tour


    Royal Irish wrote: »
    When I was 20 I was with a 38 year old lady. She was from Malaysia and she had a willy.

    Does that make me a legend also ?

    No, makes you gay;)

    EVENFLOW



  • #125
    Ruudi_Mentari
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,801 ✭✭✭Ruudi_Mentari


    You better run, little girl

    /suffice to say chasing any age, regardless is just old. Let them make eyes......


  • #126
    awec
    Administrators Posts: 55,154 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭awec


    Older woman goes with younger man = cougar , milf, hot etc etc.

    Older man goes with younger woman = perv, creep etc.

    The blatant double standards when it comes to these sorts of things is the most depressing thing of all.


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  • #127
    Speisekarte
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 147 ✭✭Speisekarte


    cheesefiend wrote: »
    I'm twenty, two years ago if anyone over the age of 24 was coming on to me all I ever thought was 'why the **** would you want to be with me, can you not get anyone your own age?'. I just found it strange and creepy. That is purely based on meeting a fella out, not someone I might have known for a longer amount of time.

    Out of my circle of friends when we were eighteen the oldest any of us had been with was 25.

    I just don't get why anyone over the age of 25 would want to be with an eighteen year old purely for sex. Would you not rather be with someone older who has a bit more experience and therefore a better skillset, so to speak? Makes no sense.

    And also, I have been going out to over eighteens since I was 15 so you really do have to be careful.

    Everyone is entitled to their own preferences even if you think they are "creepy".

    Maybe you are the "creepy" one pretending to be over 18.

    I'm 28 and I don't judge based on age, if I find a woman sexy and interesting that's usually enough for me whether she's 18 or 40.


  • #128
    Mr Benevolent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,433 ✭✭✭✭Mr Benevolent


    Legally you must stop chasing 18 year olds when you reach 136. Other than that they're fair game.


  • #129
    who_me
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,669 ✭✭✭who_me


    The Davestator wrote: »
    Does the half your age plus 7 years still get used these days?

    Never saw me wrong

    I HATED that rule when I was younger.

    Try pulling an 11 year old when you're 8.. can't be done!


  • #130
    April O Neill
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,305 ✭✭✭April O Neill


    awec wrote: »
    Older woman goes with younger man = cougar , milf, hot etc etc.

    Older man goes with younger woman = perv, creep etc.

    The blatant double standards when it comes to these sorts of things is the most depressing thing of all.

    Are you joking here? :eek:

    It is far more common and socially acceptable to be in a younger woman/older man relationship than vice versa! Double standards, me hole.

    The cougar nonsense is a media construct.


  • #131
    OnTheCouch
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 526 ✭✭✭OnTheCouch


    There are a couple of issues here.

    Firstly, I think it is necessary to divide people into two groups. Those who specifically target 18 year olds or thereabouts to date and those who hit it off with a girl they meet who just happens to be 18/19 or whatever. I believe the two concepts are quite different. The former is attracted by the particular age bracket, the latter by the girl herself.

    Now, everything being equal, the older a man gets, the less chance he has of attracting someone in their late teens. Someone of 35 will probably find it a good bit harder than a man of 25, at 45 it becomes a lot harder and so on. Certainly from 25 onwards, there has to be a very strong argument on the man's side, whether this be status, wealth, intelligence, life-experience, charisma, dress-sense, looks, confidence etc for a younger girl to be attracted. My friend and I were discussing the issue last night and we more or less came to the conclusion that 40 was the absolute maximum age a man could date an 18 year old without looking completely ridiculous.

    But even this is somewhat false, as long as both parties are consenting adults, the age gap can be anything really, even though extremely big gaps are quite rare.

    I also believe that the 'creep' factor which some have mentioned, can be picked up by women of any age. If a young girl is prepared to go out with an older man, I would be fairly confident she is mature and rational enough to weigh up all the pros and cons and make a informed decision about who she dates. While many 18 year olds are undeniably immature, there are also plenty who are not. Plus girls tend to mature a little faster anyway, so this can help reduce issues in this area.

    I will also defend the men of around my age (early 30s) who say that it is difficult to find a single woman of a similar age who would like to date casually. While I am not saying that people should go for girls in their late teens, it is inevitable that many men in this situation will end up dating younger women.

    In my own case, I have dated two girls relatively recently that were approximately ten years younger. Now for the most part, things were great. I found both to be generally very charming, intelligent and independent young women. There were a few small problems to do with the lack of life experience, but nothing major. Even though we obviously split up for various reasons, I would like to think that in both cases the relationship was mutually beneficial to both parties. I very much hope in addition that I came across as someone who was attracted to the person and not someone targeting younger girls just simply because of their age. I would be fairly sure they enjoyed the relationship a lot more than they would have had I been in my teens/early twenties, which may also explain a few things.


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  • #132
    Ruudi_Mentari
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,801 ✭✭✭Ruudi_Mentari


    I dont go out, to hit on them they just so happen to in these places.

    I try not even notice them, but they make sure I do....


  • #133
    GalwayGuy2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,269 ✭✭✭GalwayGuy2


    Are you joking here? eek.png

    It is far more common and socially acceptable to be in a younger woman/older man relationship than vice versa! Double standards, me hole.

    The cougar nonsense is a media construct.

    Meh, guess it depends on the person talking. I've heard people saying that they were worried Jack Nicholsan (?) might have pedofiliac tendencies because he goes out with 18 year olds. Hell, some people have a view that if a man wants the woman he is seeing to dress in a schoolgirl outfit, then that is a sighn of pedofiliac tendencies.

    And I've also heard older women being called desperate, pathetic, and even taken advantage of for going out with a younger man. And there was that confusing news thing with the presenter of X-Factor and Harry Styles.

    And the bit in bold has saddened me:(


  • #134
    Legs.Eleven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,987 ✭✭✭Legs.Eleven


    awec wrote: »
    Older woman goes with younger man = cougar , milf, hot etc etc.

    Older man goes with younger woman = perv, creep etc.

    The blatant double standards when it comes to these sorts of things is the most depressing thing of all.


    Ye wha? :confused::confused: Seriously?? Society completely accepts an older man going out with a younger woman. It's so common place it's not even an issue and I'm speaking as someone who was seeing someone 15 years older than me and now someone 10 years older than me. No one ever comments or cares. How many women do you know dating younger men? I know one - my sister. 3 years age gap and she gets the piss ripped out of her all the time with the MILF comments. Nothing malicious but I don't have to endure the same.

    A women dating a younger guy raises eyebrows but not visa versa. Fact.


    We're referring to fellas calling young women "fresh meat" etc. It's the fellas who are blatantly creepy about it as some men have exemplefied on this thread. You don't find some of the comments creepy? :confused:


  • #135
    Legs.Eleven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,987 ✭✭✭Legs.Eleven


    April O Neill wrote: »
    Are you joking here? :eek:

    It is far more common and socially acceptable to be in a younger woman/older man relationship than vice versa! Double standards, me hole.

    The cougar nonsense is a media construct    .

    Typed my own comment after I read this.


    And a very recent one. I don't know any real life cougars.


  • #136
    120_Minutes
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,706 ✭✭✭120_Minutes


    I was shagging an 18 year old when i was 26. ahh the memories. wouldnt do it now though (37) even if the sex was mindblowing. i'd have to listen to "but she defriended me on facebook for nothing" this and "omg isnt that new nicki minaj tune epic" that....

    spare me.


    who am i kidding, i'll shag anything that looks at me twice. or has a savage rack.


  • #137
    Frank Black
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,296 ✭✭✭Frank Black


    If I wasn't happily married, then I'd rule out girls closer in age to my eldest kid than to me.
    So that's anyone younger than 23.

    Christ, that's depressing actually.


  • #138
    Rocket19
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 451 ✭✭Rocket19


    Frank Black wrote: »
    If I wasn't happily married, then I'd rule out girls closer in age to my eldest kid than to me.
    So that's anyone younger than 23.

    Christ, that's depressing actually.

    That's depressing? Considering you have kids, and youre presumably in your 30s or 40s, I don't see why you would be depressed having to settle for someone as ancient as a 23 year old!

    I find large age gaps quite creepy where one party is very young.
    Im only 22, but I would see an 18 year old as being very young, and at a completely different stage to me (even though it's only 4 years).
    I think in a lot of cases, young girls will get with older men because they yearn to feel grown up and to be taken seriously, and they feel being associated with an older guy will achieve this.

    To be honest, I don't think any guy over the age of 21/22 should be getting with an 18 year old. The vast majority of them are very immature, and are fresh out of school. There are always exceptions, but most will be interested in the leaving cert results, freshers week, and going to clubs where even a 20 year old would look ancient. I just struggle to understand how an older guy would anything in common with *most* 18 year olds.


  • #139
    astonaidan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,456 ✭✭✭astonaidan


    For me most girls of 18 are well to immature, obviously not everyone.
    But I find I cant actually stop myself getting bored talking to them after like 15mins. Theres only so much one can talk about drink/clubbing.
    the youngest id go I think would be 22 with me being 27.
    As for the older gal younger guy thing, I was really into a 33 year old never got with her due to circumstances but she was a doll so I suppose both ways theres always exceptions


  • #140
    Daveysil15
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,301 ✭✭✭Daveysil15


    awec wrote: »
    Older woman goes with younger man = cougar , milf, hot etc etc.

    Older man goes with younger woman = perv, creep etc.

    The blatant double standards when it comes to these sorts of things is the most depressing thing of all.

    I don't think an older man pursuing a younger woman is particularly creepy, but men in general looking for casual sex from women can be considered creepy depending on how he goes about it and whether or not the woman is interested.

    Or as OnTheCouch said:
    OnTheCouch wrote: »
    I also believe that the 'creep' factor which some have mentioned, can be picked up by women of any age.

    This, you can be a creep at any age. You're only a creep if the woman is not interested. If she wants the same thing then its fair game.


  • #141
    Legs.Eleven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,987 ✭✭✭Legs.Eleven


    OnTheCouch wrote: »
    There are a couple of issues here.

    Firstly, I think it is necessary to divide people into two groups. Those who specifically target 18 year olds or thereabouts to date and those who hit it off with a girl they meet who just happens to be 18/19 or whatever. I believe the two concepts are quite different. The former is attracted by the particular age bracket, the latter by the girl herself.

    Now, everything being equal, the older a man gets, the less chance he has of attracting someone in their late teens. Someone of 35 will probably find it a good bit harder than a man of 25, at 45 it becomes a lot harder and so on. Certainly from 25 onwards, there has to be a very strong argument on the man's side, whether this be status, wealth, intelligence, life-experience, charisma, dress-sense, looks, confidence etc for a younger girl to be attracted. My friend and I were discussing the issue last night and we more or less came to the conclusion that 40 was the absolute maximum age a man could date an 18 year old without looking completely ridiculous.

    But even this is somewhat false, as long as both parties are consenting adults, the age gap can be anything really, even though extremely big gaps are quite rare.

    I also believe that the 'creep' factor which some have mentioned, can be picked up by women of any age. If a young girl is prepared to go out with an older man, I would be fairly confident she is mature and rational enough to weigh up all the pros and cons and make a informed decision about who she dates. While many 18 year olds are undeniably immature, there are also plenty who are not. Plus girls tend to mature a little faster anyway, so this can help reduce issues in this area.

    I will also defend the men of around my age (early 30s) who say that it is difficult to find a single woman of a similar age who would like to date casually. While I am not saying that people should go for girls in their late teens, it is inevitable that many men in this situation will end up dating younger women.

    In my own case, I have dated two girls relatively recently that were approximately ten years younger. Now for the most part, things were great. I found both to be generally very charming, intelligent and independent young women. There were a few small problems to do with the lack of life experience, but nothing major. Even though we obviously split up for various reasons, I would like to think that in both cases the relationship was mutually beneficial to both parties. I very much hope in addition that I came across as someone who was attracted to the person and not a creep targeting younger girls just simply because of their age. I would be fairly sure they enjoyed the relationship a lot more than they would have had I been in my teens/early twenties, which may also explain a few things.

    That sounds very reasonable. Can't argue with that.


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  • #142
    Daveysil15
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,301 ✭✭✭Daveysil15


    Thom Merrilin wrote: »
    After Hours is a valuable source of topics for Fm104 lately!

    And Spin 1038. ''The Irish women in niteclubs" and the ''unsuccessful single man'' topics has been discussed several times on that. :D
    cheesefiend wrote: »

    I just don't get why anyone over the age of 25 would want to be with an eighteen year old purely for sex. Would you not rather be with someone older who has a bit more experience and therefore a better skillset, so to speak? Makes no sense.

    Experience doesn't necessarily come with age. An 18 year old may have been promiscuous since the age of 16 and be terrific in bed. An older woman may have little or no experience. It depends on the person.


  • #143
    matTNT
    Closed Accounts Posts: 351 ✭✭matTNT


    The Davestator wrote: »
    Does the half your age plus 7 years still get used these days?

    Never saw me wrong

    No.


  • #144
    Czarcasm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    Daveysil15 wrote: »
    Experience doesn't necessarily come with age. An 18 year old may have been promiscuous since the age of 16 and be terrific in bed. An older woman may have little or no experience. It depends on the person.


    And by that same token, a person who is promiscuous isn't guaranteed to be any more satisfying in bed than a person who has little experience but a damn good imagination! :D

    As you quite rightly point out Dave - it does indeed depend on the person.


  • #145
    Mysteriouschic
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,391 ✭✭✭Mysteriouschic


    I'm 20 the I'd the oldest I'd date is 26/27 but I always get along with people that are older than me rather than the lads around my ages.


  • #146
    Pug160
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,088 ✭✭✭Pug160


    I don't know where this idea that girls mature more quickly than boys comes from because the majority of young women I've encountered around the ages of 18-21 look like they are little children with ADHD. Some of them certainly look grown up but the difference between your average girl who is 18 or 19 and someone in their mid twenties is usually huge. The same probably applies to young men too but girls do seem to be particularly hyper at that age.


  • #147
    OnTheCouch
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 526 ✭✭✭OnTheCouch


    Pug160 wrote: »
    I don't know where this idea that girls mature more quickly than boys comes from because the majority of young women I've encountered around the ages of 18-21 look like they are little children with ADHD. Some of them certainly look grown up but the difference between your average girl who is 18 or 19 and someone in their mid twenties is usually huge. The same probably applies to young men too but girls do seem to be particularly hyper at that age.

    Did you meet them in groups or individually? Because I think that peer pressure is huge at that age, so the group dynamic may perhaps make them more likely to act in an annoying manner.

    Following on from this, I forgot to mention earlier that in my opinion, any girl of this age who decides to date older men (over 25 or so) almost by definition will be mature, because I would imagine she'll get a lot of stick from her mates over the relationship. Obviously I am male so I can't speak specifically for women of any age really, but I remember when I was in my late teens, someone over 30 was considered ancient, so I am sure many females would think the same. Therefore, if she can ignore this and still accept to continue seeing the man, she's likely to be very confident in herself.

    I remember a female acquaintance a while back now who at the time was 18, and she decided to date a man of 36-37. Her friends did not approve of this at all and seemingly tried really hard to dissuade her from going ahead with it. But she stayed strong and they are still together today as far as I know.


  • #148
    will.i.am
    Site Banned Posts: 192 ✭✭will.i.am


    About 21 but not a day over it!


  • #149
    April O Neill
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,305 ✭✭✭April O Neill


    OnTheCouch wrote: »
    I forgot to mention earlier that in my opinion, any girl of this age who decides to date older men (over 25 or so) almost by definition will be mature

    You'd think so, wouldn't you? But, no. And this is coming from someone who went out with a 25 year old at 18.


  • #150
    Daveysil15
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,301 ✭✭✭Daveysil15


    120_Minutes wrote: »
    I was shagging an 18 year old when i was 26. ahh the memories. wouldnt do it now though (37) even if the sex was mindblowing. i'd have to listen to "but she defriended me on facebook for nothing" this and "omg isnt that new nicki minaj tune epic" that....

    spare me.


    who am i kidding, i'll shag anything that looks at me twice. or has a savage rack.

    Ahh it could be worse. If she were to say the same thing about a Justin Bieber song you'd be in serious trouble. :pac:


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  • #151
    Femme_Fatale
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,628 ✭✭✭Femme_Fatale


    OnTheCouch wrote: »
    Firstly, I think it is necessary to divide people into two groups. Those who specifically target 18 year olds or thereabouts to date and those who hit it off with a girl they meet who just happens to be 18/19 or whatever. I believe the two concepts are quite different. The former is attracted by the particular age bracket, the latter by the girl herself.
    Exactly. It's not creepy to go out with/sleep with much younger people in and of itself, when it's not for reasons like being a "legend" or whatever. It's creepy to act creepy (not simply because the person isn't interested in you) - whether you're a man or a woman.

    "Cougars" are often depicted as desperate, sleazy auld ones too. And they can be...


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