Meta thread. Give me a few words to help introduce people to after hours

AH is like a dog kennel: at first it seems like just a lot of dumb, over-macho and tired noise making. But after a while in there, when you've gotten used to the dogs, you begin to see deeper meanings in the barks and howls. You see relationships, histories and emotions in the way one mutt will sniff another; tensions, anxiety and fear in the way another marks its territory - and with the understanding, an enlightened, blissful state comes upon you. The kennel becomes your world, the world in which you are both creator and dicoverer, deity and preist; where you alone can fathom the intricate connections between all things. You find yourself plunging into the madness, unable to control your eagerness to understand and contribute, and learn the nirvana like state you have obtained is just the ante-chamber to the great palace of knowledge and understanding yet to be explored. You see all this and more, and begin to believe you're starting to understand the vast beautiful mysticism of nature itself, desplayed so wonderfully in the microcosm of the dogs.
Then one eats its own crap and you realise you're reading into it too much.

It's a general, off-topic discussion area. That's it, really.

It's where I can act the maggot, laugh at my own jokes and not get a dirty look from the missus.

I am helpful and cooperative on other forums except here where I am an arsehole.

Truth stretching.
Chinese whispers. (not racist)
A friend of mine....
I overheard...
It must be true.

Let me tell you something about AH. We were best friends in primary school. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even...whatever. So then in sixth class, I started going out with my first boyfriend Kyle, who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to Carlow, and AH was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow it off to hang out with Kyle, it'd be like, "Why didn't you call me back?" And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" So then for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, I was like, "AH, I can't invite you, because I think you're a lesbian." I mean I couldn't have a lesbian at my party. There were gonna be girls there in their bathing suits! I mean, right? It was a lesbian! So then it's mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so dumb. And then it dropped out of school because no one would talk to it, and it came back in September for secondary, all of it's hair was cut off and it was totally weird, and now I guess it's on crack.

After Hours: One day we're going to fence it off and start an ostrich farm.