Why do people still have expensive weddings?

kitnan · 13-05-2013 09:32AM

lightspeed wrote: »

What is wrong with just getting a neighbour to dress up as a priest, have it in the back garden and let all the guests tuck into a swiss roll?

This has actually made my morning, spoken by a true romantic!

gramar · 13-05-2013 09:41AM

A girl I know whose wedding I'm going to next month has practically invited people she met while waiting at the bus stop. I know of a few who've politely declined the invitation simply because they're not really friends they just know each other. With her I don't think it's a money making exercise, she just wants people there.

13-05-2013 10:16AM

oldyouth wrote: »

So you are saying you need a tangible asset with a monetary value from every guest that is invited to participate in your special day?

I wouldn't be happy with it for a birthday or Christmas present so why would I be happy with it for a wedding present. A one off day for the vast majority of people a day when you should receive something that's useful.

If I want to give money to charity that's my own decision and a thing I will do on my own time and own terms. Making a donation to charity and giving the receipt as a present is pig ignorant imo.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 13-05-2013 11:04AM

I think weddings are ridiculous anyway, the stress and pressure is ridiculous, the cost is ridiculous, inviting people you secretly hope will choke on the dinner is ridiculous.

If I ever get married it'll be on holiday, with whoevers unfortunate enough to marry me, best friend and whoever he wants to bring.

.jacksparrow. · 13-05-2013 11:20AM

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I think weddings are ridiculous anyway, the stress and pressure is ridiculous, the cost is ridiculous, inviting people you secretly hope will choke on the dinner is ridiculous.

If I ever get married it'll be on holiday, with whoevers unfortunate enough to marry me, best friend and whoever he wants to bring.

Well you would have to be thick to invite people you secretly hope choke on their dinner.

Some of the opinions in this thread make no sense and have no valid argument.

13-05-2013 11:20AM

Vojera wrote: »

If you're planning on spending your lives together, I don't see why you wouldn't, to be honest, especially if there are kids involved. Wills can always be challenged, if the house is in one partner's name it could financially cripple the remaining one to pay the inheritance tax on it, etc.

Staying together or breaking up isn't marriage-dependent, but staying unmarried doesn't guarantee financial freedom in the event of a break-up anyway once you're living together long enough. It's not the most romantic viewpoint but if marriage was strictly the realm of romance there would be no legal recognition for it.

You can challenge a will but I can tell you you will most likely loose, if 2 people have been living together for years like we have I was told they wouldn't have a hope.

I also don't believe there is inheritance tax involved with a partner with this new civil partnership law ?

I'm fully aware that if 2 people break up married or not that their are financial ramifications regardless, even more reason there is little point to marriage these days.

2 people who love each other shouldn't only be recognised as a family through a marriage license, that is stone age way of thinking !

fishy fishy · 13-05-2013 11:21AM

how much is the going rate to give a wedding couple these days?

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 13-05-2013 11:22AM

.jacksparrow. wrote: »

Well you would have to be thick to invite people you secretly hope choke on their dinner.

Some of the opinions in this thread make no sense and have no valid argument.

That would be most of my family, and I would imagine that it's generally more hassle to leave interfering fools out than invite them. Sincerely doubt people who spend 30k on a wedding like every single person that's invited.

.jacksparrow. · 13-05-2013 11:26AM

LexieOnRale wrote: »

That would be most of my family, and I would imagine that it's generally more hassle to leave interfering fools out than invite them. Sincerely doubt people who spend 30k on a wedding like every single person that's invited.

Well I'd say the issue there is family related, nothing to do with weddings.

geeky · 13-05-2013 11:26AM

fishy fishy wrote: »

how much is the going rate to give a wedding couple these days?

Around about what you reckon the meal cost is the norm AFAIK.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 13-05-2013 11:33AM

.jacksparrow. wrote: »

Well I'd say the issue there is family related, nothing to do with weddings.

It does have to do with weddings lol, who do you think primarily attends weddings? Strangers? Do you think everyone at weddings like each other? There's nobody sitting in the corner giving out about the soup or the state of the brides dress or how you'd think she'd have went on a bit of a diet before the wedding, or the grooms mothers hat? You're going to have those old biddys in abundance at weddings and if you think otherwise you are being very naive.

13-05-2013 11:36AM

Deleted User wrote: »

2 people who love each other shouldn't only be recognised as a family through a marriage license, that is stone age way of thinking !

I don't see why you wouldn't want to get married though if you plan on spending your life with someone. Its almost like you are against marriage just for the sake of going against the established way of doing things.

fishy fishy wrote: »

how much is the going rate to give a wedding couple these days?

Depends on how close they are to you. No less than 100 euro anyway in the card, more for a close friend or good neighbour and more again for a close family member.

.jacksparrow. · 13-05-2013 11:38AM

LexieOnRale wrote: »

It does have to do with weddings lol, who do you think primarily attends weddings? Strangers? Do you think everyone at weddings like each other? There's nobody sitting in the corner giving out about the soup or the state of the brides dress or how you'd think she'd have went on a bit of a diet before the wedding, or the grooms mothers hat? You're going to have those old biddys in abundance at weddings and if you think otherwise you are being very naive.

I dunno maybe its because I get on with my family, and wouldn't invite the family I don't get on with, or is that too simple, ah each to their own I suppose.

hoodwinked · 13-05-2013 11:41AM

.jacksparrow. wrote: »

I dunno maybe its because I get on with my family, and wouldn't invite the family I don't get on with, or is that too simple, ah each to their own I suppose.

sometimes you just have to, we had to invite my husbands, brothers wife,

the wagon wore the top off her wedding dress (she got married 4 months previous to ours) with a white skirt making it look like a wedding dress.... :rolleyes:

none of us wanted her there but she's *family* (as his parents put it) so we had to invite her....

homerjay2005 · 13-05-2013 11:50AM

Daveysil15 wrote: »

How much do they actually make in gifts though?

exactly, a 30k wedding doesnt cost 30k the couple in the end. i know a few weddings that actually paid for themselves when everything was accounted for.

there comes a certain point where the more people you invite, the less money it costs you.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 13-05-2013 11:51AM

My best friend is getting married in a couple of weeks, and is getting harassed by a girl we both used to be friends with on Facebook over the invites. She's been asking for the past few months, veiled hinting. "Who's table would I be at, I don't speak to Lexie so I don't want to sit with her". My friend, this weekend, sick of her hinting, told her if she wanted to come she was welcome to come into the reception at 9pm to the evening part. She was met with "just the evening is it?" And "my boyfriend is weird about going to just the evening part, he says if your not good enough to be invited to the whole day then you shouldn't be invited at all". Haha, "it would be different if I got a full day invite", "I'm offended not to be asked to the whole thing considering we were friends from school".

Would you be bothered? I personally couldn't be dealing with crap like that if I was getting married. Invite nobody, the right job.

homerjay2005 · 13-05-2013 12:04PM

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Would you be bothered? I personally couldn't be dealing with crap like that if I was getting married. Invite nobody, the right job.

just dont invite people who are idiots, troublemakers or selfish twats then.

problem solved.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 13-05-2013 12:05PM

homerjay2005 wrote: »

just dont invite people who are idiots, troublemakers or selfish twats then.

problem solved.

Or, you could take the wedding money, go on the best holiday ever, have an intimate wedding, instead of an OTT circus, and come back married and have a party for people to celebrate with you.

13-05-2013 12:09PM

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I think weddings are ridiculous anyway, the stress and pressure is ridiculous, the cost is ridiculous, inviting people you secretly hope will choke on the dinner is ridiculous.

If I ever get married it'll be on holiday, with whoevers unfortunate enough to marry me, best friend and whoever he wants to bring.

Or you could just have the wedding you want. It's stressful if you make it stressful, it's expensive if you make it expensive and why would you invite people you didn't like?

Rent a venue, buy a dress, bridesmaid's dress(es) if you want bridesmaids, rent a suit for the groom, organise a cake, hire a photographer, invite close friends and family, put on a nice buffet and buy loads of booze in bulk.

Where's all the stress?

13-05-2013 12:12PM

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Or, you could take the wedding money, go on the best holiday ever, have an intimate wedding, instead of an OTT circus, and come back married and have a party for people to celebrate with you.

But some people want a big proper wedding. If I ever get married I would want it to be a proper traditional wedding. I don't like these ideas of getting married abroad, coming back married etc. Church wedding followed by a hotel reception is the only way I would do it simple as that.

hoodwinked · 13-05-2013 12:17PM

homerjay2005 wrote: »

just dont invite people who are idiots, troublemakers or selfish twats then.

problem solved.

i wish it was that simple, sometimes you just have to invite certain people....

for me i found it relatively inexpensive, we had it exactly the way we wanted, and it was all paid for by us, we put in the effort and time to add touches which looked pricy but since we did the work were not so....

Boombastic · 13-05-2013 12:26PM

Kyra Echoing Cap wrote: »

But some people want a big proper wedding. If I ever get married I would want it to be a proper traditional wedding. I don't like these ideas of getting married abroad, coming back married etc. Church wedding followed by a hotel reception is the only way I would do it simple as that.

Is that only because you are religious and your beliefs are fueling your desire?

southsiderosie · 13-05-2013 12:28PM

Kyra Echoing Cap wrote: »

But some people want a big proper wedding. If I ever get married I would want it to be a proper traditional wedding. I don't like these ideas of getting married abroad, coming back married etc. Church wedding followed by a hotel reception is the only way I would do it simple as that.

I don't begrudge other people their wedding plans, but I do get annoyed when people consider a church wedding followed by a hotel reception a "proper" wedding, like everything else is somehow tainted by impropriety (clutches pearls). Different strokes for different folks.

IK09 · 13-05-2013 12:28PM

Im getting married next year it will be a big enough occasion. First to get married out of my immediate family. My fiancee has what i call an "aging" family, she has 3 grand parents alive, and well lbh, there gonna kick the bucket soon enough. 1 last chance to get everybody together like that...priceless.

We are going to be having between 200-250 people. Ya its gonna cost a shít load, but the likely hood is that we'll receive a large proportion of that back in gifts. That makes it a little easier to digest the cost.

Personally, i would just as easy head to Vegas and get married by Elvis, and tbh i thought about it, but when i had a chat with my mam about it and she explained it too me like that, that it would probably be the last time her whole family would be together before they started to pass away, it was a no brainer.

I wouldnt explain it to my fiancee like that, but its the main reason why im ok with having a big wedding.

jamesjoyce1710 · 13-05-2013 12:35PM

why not, if you have got the money then its everyone person choice

Johnny Utah · 13-05-2013 12:37PM

brianthomas wrote: »

Money to be made too tho. If 150 ppl go. Say 75 couples for handyness. Standard 100 in a card off each pair. 7.5K back straight away. And in cases, I've known both sets of parents have given 5k each to the cpl. 17.5 grand off the bill. Albeit in gifts. Don't shoot the messenger.. But it happens.

What about people like me who crash weddings? You have to factor that into the overall cost too.

I just pretend to be a distant second cousin home from the States and put a fiver in a Tesco card. Great value for a 3 course slap-up meal and a weekend away in a fancy hotel. (I also steal the little bottles of shampoo and shower gel from said hotel.)

IK09 · 13-05-2013 12:41PM

I certainly wont be getting into debt for it. Not a good way to start married life.

13-05-2013 12:44PM

Boombastic wrote: »

Is that only because you are religious and your beliefs are fueling your desire?

Yes I go to mass regularly but its not particularly the religious aspect that would make me want to go down the route of a traditional wedding. It just wouldn't be a proper wedding to me if it didn't follow that format and I'd feel I missed out on the proper experience if I did it differently.

Sergeant · 13-05-2013 12:45PM

12 cans of Tennent's, a couple of snackboxs in Supermacs and a quick ride in the back of the car is all you need. Anything else is mindless extravagance.

krudler · 13-05-2013 12:46PM

Kyra Echoing Cap wrote: »

But some people want a big proper wedding. If I ever get married I would want it to be a proper traditional wedding. I don't like these ideas of getting married abroad, coming back married etc. Church wedding followed by a hotel reception is the only way I would do it simple as that.

People who aren't married in a cookie cutter Irish wedding setting don't have a "proper" wedding? jesus wept.

Why do people still have expensive weddings?

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