Why do people still have expensive weddings?

Mr Tibbs · 12-05-2013 07:31PM

Expensive weddings I'll be f*cked If I know why people bother with them. I'd prefer a summons to a wedding invite its cheaper.

Rezident · 12-05-2013 07:35PM

Totally agree OP. Will not be spending the deposit for a house on our day.

Mate of mine sprung it on his unaware finance on holiday, had all the documents sorted in advance, got married on a beach, saved a fortune, great idea. I feel sorry for people who spend €30k on a day out.

mfceiling · 12-05-2013 07:36PM

We had our wedding 9 years ago. Fairly big day - i've a big enough family and so had herself.

Loads of people asked me what i wanted for a present. They all got the same answer "i'll be happy enough just to see you on the day".

Couldn't care less if they threw a tenner in a card or a set of towels from dunnes.

The day was a celebration for us as a couple and an excuse for everyone to have a nice meal, a few drinks and a bit of dancing.

12-05-2013 07:46PM

One of my best friends is getting married this year, I am the maid of honour.

Anyway, they were going to have a big Irish wedding. 5 star hotel, loads of guests etc..

But then just before they paid the deposit for the venue they said f*ck it, and are now having a small wedding with only about 30 guests. They want to spend the money they saved on buying a house.

My friends family agree with them, but her fiances family are furious! They want to invite 2nd/3rd cousins, neighbours, EVERYONE! His Mother even said at one point she wasn't going to go to the wedding herself unless they have a big 'traditional' one :eek: She's also pretty mad that they won't have it in a church...even-though neither of them follow any religion. She has kinda got over it now though that she realises she won't get her way.

My friend and her fiance just want to invite who is important to them, and they are dead right. Good on them!

lazygal · 12-05-2013 08:08PM

It costs 200 euro to marry in Ireland. Every single purchase over and above that is the choice of the couple and they've no business moaning about it.

deanmartin · 12-05-2013 08:16PM

It's just a showboating exercise. It makes no sense.

Kerryfootball · 12-05-2013 08:16PM

Regarding the original post,

Weddings are personal choices " why do people still have expensive weddings "
Because they saved the money they can spend it as they see fit.

Weddings are themselves a massive industry employing thousands.
Most people think of the hotel or guest numbers but all the small/medium companies the supply the wedding are employers in the local community.

People quoting the recession should remember the above

12-05-2013 08:20PM

inmyday wrote: »

On an old thread on boards about wedding presents, someone said that they give cards with receipts from a charity donation. Prefect present imo.

It may sound bad but I would be far from impressed to get that for a wedding present.

oldyouth · 12-05-2013 08:34PM

Kyra Echoing Cap wrote: »

It may sound bad but I would be far from impressed to get that for a wedding present.

So you are saying you need a tangible asset with a monetary value from every guest that is invited to participate in your special day?

Boombastic · 12-05-2013 08:39PM

oldyouth wrote: »

So you are saying you need a tangible asset with a monetary value from every guest that is invited to participate in your special day?

of course, Isn't that the point of weddings? I measure peoples worth on the value of presents the give me and their usefulness? Who cares about charity, my wedding day is all about me

Parents pay for wedding
Couple make profit on presents

That's the traditional Irish way. Has the practice of putting minimum present €300 @ the bottom of the invitation been lost in time?

12-05-2013 08:54PM

Thing is though why are people so hell bent on getting married ?

We're together nearly 10 years not married, and all we get is ignorant comments as why we're not married, when are we getting a day out and this one is good, "what no children, how old are ye ? " WTF like ?

I swear people do it to stop all the crap comments, they give into pressure. A lot of the time not all.

I've seen people break up, meet someone else and they can't get divorced for 5 freaking years, how mad is that ?

Seriously what does a piece of paper matter so much to people ? do they think that ah now we did it we're safe and secure, he, she can't leave me.

inmyday · 12-05-2013 08:55PM

Kyra Echoing Cap wrote: »

It may sound bad but I would be far from impressed to get that for a wedding present.

It does sound bad. You sound like a hungry fcuker....
As a guest, I got tired of paying a small percentage(€100 in a card) of a wedding. In my eyes it is a waste of money. I know its their "SPECIAL" day. But Id rather give money to a cause that I feel deserves it on behalf of the happy couple. Great idea.

Vojera · 12-05-2013 09:15PM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Thing is though why are people so hell bent on getting married ?

We're together nearly 10 years not married, and all we get is ignorant comments as why we're not married, when are we getting a day out and this one is good, "what no children, how old are ye ? " WTF like ?

I swear people do it to stop all the crap comments, they give into pressure. A lot of the time not all.

I've seen people break up, meet someone else and they can't get divorced for 5 freaking years, how mad is that ?

Seriously what does a piece of paper matter so much to people ? do they think that ah now we did it we're safe and secure, he, she can't leave me.

I agree that some people get married thinking it will somehow magically secure their relationship, and that's completely pointless.

But some people like to know that if they die there will be no issues with inheritance, or if there are kids involved that there is a presumption of paternity, or that if one of the couple ends up in hospital then the other has a legal right to be there and can't be kept away by family who don't approve, etc.

It's not for everyone, but for those who want to marry, let them!

12-05-2013 09:40PM

Vojera wrote: »

I agree that some people get married thinking it will somehow magically secure their relationship, and that's completely pointless.

But some people like to know that if they die there will be no issues with inheritance, or if there are kids involved that there is a presumption of paternity, or that if one of the couple ends up in hospital then the other has a legal right to be there and can't be kept away by family who don't approve, etc.

It's not for everyone, but for those who want to marry, let them!

I'm not trying to stop people getting married, I just think the whole thing is very over rated !

12-05-2013 10:04PM

Kyra Echoing Cap wrote: »

It may sound bad but I would be far from impressed to get that for a wedding present.

Same, tbh. I'm not materialistic/money-grabbing in the slightest, but I'm not really into charity donations as presents. I'd prefer a present for us, no matter how cheap. A photo frame, a cookery book, whatever. Something useful or something to help us remember the day. I wouldn't be particularly impressed by a guest donating money to a charity of his/her choice, not mine. I already do plenty of charity work and donate what I can even though I'm broke, so any present would be gratefully received.

lazygal · 12-05-2013 10:08PM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Thing is though why are people so hell bent on getting married ?

We're together nearly 10 years not married, and all we get is ignorant comments as why we're not married, when are we getting a day out and this one is good, "what no children, how old are ye ? " WTF like ?

I swear people do it to stop all the crap comments, they give into pressure. A lot of the time not all.

I've seen people break up, meet someone else and they can't get divorced for 5 freaking years, how mad is that ?

Seriously what does a piece of paper matter so much to people ? do they think that ah now we did it we're safe and secure, he, she can't leave me.

We got married because we love each other, wanted to spend our lives together, wanted the next of kin and other legal and practical advantages afforded by marriage and wanted to celebrate that by having a nice day with friends and family, with food, drink and entertainment laid on by us. The piece of paper is fierce handy in the event of requiring a next of kin decision, inheritance and other things.

Brain Stroking · 12-05-2013 10:26PM

lazygal wrote: »

We got married because we love each other, wanted to spend our lives together, wanted the next of kin and other legal and practical advantages afforded by marriage and wanted to celebrate that by having a nice day with friends and family, with food, drink and entertainment laid on by us. The piece of paper is fierce handy in the event of requiring a next of kin decision, inheritance and other things.

So, are you up for a ruck or not?

lazygal · 12-05-2013 10:27PM

Brain Stroking wrote: »

So, are you up for a ruck or not?

I'm too busy shagging my husband.

nua domhan · 12-05-2013 10:29PM

I want an expensive wedding.

I don't want to choose which friends to invite and which to leave at home.

I want them to have a great meal, as much free drink as I can get them and a couple of bands playing all night.

Your wedding day is pretty much the only day in your life you'll have all the people you love together in the one place - except for your funeral.

12-05-2013 10:34PM

lazygal wrote: »

We got married because we love each other, wanted to spend our lives together, wanted the next of kin and other legal and practical advantages afforded by marriage and wanted to celebrate that by having a nice day with friends and family, with food, drink and entertainment laid on by us. The piece of paper is fierce handy in the event of requiring a next of kin decision, inheritance and other things.

You don't have to get married to love someone.

A nice day with friends? surely you didn't have to get married to do that ? a party perhaps ?

next of kin decision, I believe there are civil partner laws these days ?

As regarding inheritance, a will takes care of that.

My will is made and it's all sorted as to who gets what.

12-05-2013 10:34PM

lazygal wrote: »

I'm too busy shagging my husband.

And we want to know why ?

oldyouth · 12-05-2013 10:35PM

nua domhan wrote: »

Your wedding day is pretty much the only day in your life you'll have all the people you love together in the one place - except for your funeral.

Nonsense. What's to stop you throwing an event today at a fraction of the cost of a wedding (to both you and them)?

12-05-2013 10:40PM

nua domhan wrote: »

I want an expensive wedding.

I don't want to choose which friends to invite and which to leave at home.

I want them to have a great meal, as much free drink as I can get them and a couple of bands playing all night.

Your wedding day is pretty much the only day in your life you'll have all the people you love together in the one place - except for your funeral.

Sure if you want it, no one is going to begrudge it to you. But I still wouldn't invite everyone of they were not all close friends, that is people who are actually worthy of being there on the day. And friends are one thing but all the relations, people who you feel obliged to invite I'd tell where to go.

Just think if all that money could be better spent somewhere else.

But if it's what ye both want and not your parents then go ahead and spend all you want !

When's the big day ? You could invite boards.ie members too !

Addle · 12-05-2013 10:44PM

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Sure if you want it, no one is going to begrudge it to you.

Going by this thread, many will!

southsiderosie · 12-05-2013 10:44PM

Deleted User wrote: »

You don't have to get married to love someone.

A nice day with friends? surely you didn't have to get married to do that ? a party perhaps ?

next of kin decision, I believe there are civil partner laws these days ?

As regarding inheritance, a will takes care of that.

My will is made and it's all sorted as to who gets what.

Aren't the laws quite different when it comes to children though for married and unmarried parents? And AFAIK next of kin decisions in emergency situations may end up deferring to the parents if a person does not have a legal spouse - this has been a huge issue in the US, particularly for gay couples.

Birroc · 12-05-2013 10:44PM

Most people don't want to go to weddings unless the bride/groom are close family and even then it can be a chore. People have seen it all before. And you will not impress anyone spending a fortune on your wedding because they are so easily forgotten or else merge into all the other weddings you've gone to.
People getting married need to remember that people would prefer a letter from the Revenue to a wedding invite. It's such a waste of a day/weekend sitting around at mass or in a hotel pretending to be having a great time when secretly wishing to be a) drunk as a skunk at midnight and stuffing your face with cocktail sausages or b) at home in bed

oldyouth · 12-05-2013 10:46PM

Birroc wrote: »

Most people don't want to go to weddings unless the bride/groom are close family and even then it can be a chore. People have seen it all before. And you will not impress anyone spending a fortune on your wedding because they are so easily forgotten or else merge into all the other weddings you've gone to.
People getting married need to remember that people would prefer a letter from the Revenue to a wedding invite. It's such a waste of a day/weekend sitting around at mass or in a hotel pretending to be having a great time when secretly wishing to be a) drunk as a skunk at midnight and stuffing your face with cocktail sausages or b) at home in bed

Nail on the head post

12-05-2013 10:50PM

Birroc wrote: »

Most people don't want to go to weddings unless the bride/groom are close family and even then it can be a chore. People have seen it all before. And you will not impress anyone spending a fortune on your wedding because they are so easily forgotten or else merge into all the other weddings you've gone to.
People getting married need to remember that people would prefer a letter from the Revenue to a wedding invite. It's such a waste of a day/weekend sitting around at mass or in a hotel pretending to be having a great time when secretly wishing to be a) drunk as a skunk at midnight and stuffing your face with cocktail sausages or b) at home in bed

So true !

And what's with video cameras at weddings ? so tacky and I hate with a passion a fecking camera stuck in my face at a wedding there is nothing worse !

Sam Kade · 12-05-2013 10:52PM

Birroc wrote: »

Most people don't want to go to weddings unless the bride/groom are close family and even then it can be a chore. People have seen it all before. And you will not impress anyone spending a fortune on your wedding because they are so easily forgotten or else merge into all the other weddings you've gone to.
People getting married need to remember that people would prefer a letter from the Revenue to a wedding invite. It's such a waste of a day/weekend sitting around at mass or in a hotel pretending to be having a great time when secretly wishing to be a) drunk as a skunk at midnight and stuffing your face with cocktail sausages or b) at home in bed

That's what happens when you turn 40

Sam Kade · 12-05-2013 10:53PM

oldyouth wrote: »

Nail on the head post

Deleted User wrote: »

So true !

And what's with video cameras at weddings ? so tacky and I hate with a passion a fecking camera stuck in my face at a wedding there is nothing worse !

Welcome to the over 40's club

Why do people still have expensive weddings?

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