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Why do people still have expensive weddings?

12357…24

Comments

  • #122
    mfceiling
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,250 ✭✭✭✭mfceiling


    joeperry wrote: »
    It's the wimins fault.

    Yep....them bitches be crazy alright.

    Hate getting a wedding invite....as the man says it's like getting a summons.


  • #123
    April O Neill
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,305 ✭✭✭April O Neill


    asdfg! wrote: »
    You don't have the freedom to criticise how I choose to spend my money.

    Actually, I do, we all do. It's just criticism, just words.


  • #124
    .jacksparrow.
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,428 ✭✭✭.jacksparrow.


    April O Neill wrote: »
    And in a free country, people can criticise whatever they like. ;)

    Yes but criticising people for how they spend their money, whilst harming nobody, is a bit well sad really.


  • #125
    byhookorbycrook
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Regional South East Moderators Posts: 12,561 Mod ✭✭✭✭byhookorbycrook


    I blame Franc.


  • #126
    old_aussie
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,409 ✭✭✭old_aussie


    They do it because it's their day and their mums and dads can afford it.

    My daughter Alicia got married on 1st Sept 2012 and I told her to pick out what she wanted and just give me the final bill, simple.

    It was a great day, even though I had to give a speech(dread dread dread)


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  • #127
    southsiderosie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,560 ✭✭✭southsiderosie


    oldyouth wrote: »
    Who said anything about fault? Women want the big wedding, men don't give a fig one way or the other.
    oldyouth wrote: »
    men love women and women love weddings. It doesn't necessarily follow that men like weddings

    These are two of the more ridiculous generalizations I have seen in AH, and that's saying a lot.


  • #128
    eviltwin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    old_aussie wrote: »
    They do it because it's their day and their mums and dads can afford it.

    My daughter Alicia got married on 1st Sept 2012 and I told her to pick out what she wanted and just give me the final bill, simple.

    It was a great day, even though I had to give a speech(dread dread dread)

    Adopt me please!!! :D


  • #129
    asdfg!
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 104 ✭✭asdfg!


    April O Neill wrote: »
    Yes, but a present should never be expected. Ever. It was ever thus. It is very bad manners to expect or demand a gift. I learnt this as a child.

    And it's a gift, and what that gift should be, and what it costs, is at the giver's discretion. Escpecially bearing in mind that weddings cost a lot of for guests before a gift is even factored in.
    You don't get weddings do you? Since when are wedding gifts demanded? It's a long standing tradition to give wedding presents, therefore they are expected by both the receivers and the givers. Now if you want to overturn the tradition of centuries across many cultures at your wedding that's fine. You have the freedom to do that.

    But the cultural norm is to give and receive presents be they money or gifts.


  • #130
    southsiderosie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,560 ✭✭✭southsiderosie


    asdfg! wrote: »
    You don't get weddings do you? Since when are wedding gifts demanded? It's a long standing tradition to give wedding presents, therefore they are expected by both the receivers and the givers. Now if you want to overturn the tradition of centuries across many cultures at your wedding that's fine. You have the freedom to do that.

    But the cultural norm is to give and receive presents be they money or gifts.

    Give a gift, yes. But the expectations for the types and values of wedding gifts is quite overblown nowadays, and this is in part because couples increasingly expect guests to 'cover' their own costs.


  • #131
    April O Neill
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,305 ✭✭✭April O Neill


    asdfg! wrote: »
    You don't get weddings do you? Since when are wedding gifts demanded?

    Oh, it happens, "cash gifts only please" on invitations. You even said yourself "What's wrong with asking for cash". ASKING.

    Here's what you said:
    asdfg! wrote: »
    Since when is it crass to ask for cash?

    Wedding gift-giving is a tradition indeed. What the gift is, and its cost is up to the giver, not the receiver.


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  • #132
    asdfg!
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 104 ✭✭asdfg!


    April O Neill wrote: »
    Actually, I do, we all do. It's just criticism, just words.
    It's none of your business what anyone does with their money. It's an abuse of free speech.


  • #133
    Leverarchfile
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 39 ✭Leverarchfile


    Ilyana 2.0 wrote: »
    Tbh I think there's something distasteful about expecting your cash presents from your guests to cover the cost of a wedding that you wanted them to be at.

    TBH a lot of people are not invited to the wedding because they are wanted there, they are invited to stop the pissing and moaning about not being invited. If you're not willing to contribute to the day and to a couple starting out in life, don't go.
    Ilyana 2.0 wrote: »
    If you can't afford a big wedding, don't book one anyway and hope that the gifts will help you break even, or even make a profit. Weddings can cost a fortune for guests, especially if you were invited to the stag/hen party as well.

    No one does that, it's quite easy to cost a wedding. All costs are known in advance. If you can't be arsed going, don't, you'll be doing the bride and groom a favour. They don't really need some downer there pissing and moaning.
    Ilyana 2.0 wrote: »
    I work in a hotel; at one wedding I heard that the couple disappeared up to the bedroom during the drinks reception to open their cards and count their cash.

    I would not start biting the hand that feeds you. No hotel would be in business today without doing weddings, its the only thing making hotels any money and keeping you in your job.

    As for slandering your guests, well enough said.

    First of all lots of couples go to their room for a short break at some stage during the day or evening.

    Also, perhaps rightly, that couple didn't trust the staff and security there ? Perhaps they needed to know if they had enough to pay your bill the next day, or needed to get money somewhere else ? But most of all, its actually none of your business.


  • #134
    April O Neill
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,305 ✭✭✭April O Neill


    asdfg! wrote: »
    It's none of your business what anyone does with their money. It's an abuse of free speech.

    Nope, it's not. :)


  • #135
    southsiderosie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,560 ✭✭✭southsiderosie


    Leverarchfile wrote: »
    TBH a lot of people are not invited to the wedding because they are wanted there, they are invited to stop the pissing and moaning about not being invited. If you're not willing to contribute to the day and to a couple starting out in life, don't go.

    No one does that, it's quite easy to cost a wedding. All costs are known in advance. If you can't be arsed going, don't, you'll be doing the bride and groom a favour. They don't really need some downer there pissing and moaning.

    I would not start biting the hand that feeds you. No hotel would be in business today without doing weddings, its the only thing making hotels any money.

    As for spreading more than likely spiteful gossip about your guests, well enough said. Perhaps rightly, that couple didn't trust the staff and security there ? Perhaps they needed to know if they had enough to pay your bill the next day, or needed to get money somewhere else ? But most of all, its actually none of your business.

    Well, alrighty then!


  • #136
    April O Neill
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,305 ✭✭✭April O Neill


    Leverarchfile wrote: »
    TBH a lot of people are not invited to the wedding because they are wanted there, they are invited to stop the pissing and moaning about not being invited. If you're not willing to contribute to the day and to a couple starting out in life, don't go.

    Weddings cost a lot to attend, it's not like it's a free ride for guests.


  • #137
    Leverarchfile
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 39 ✭Leverarchfile


    southsiderosie wrote: »
    because couples increasingly expect guests to 'cover' their own costs.

    And why shouldn't they, are you some sort of miserable freeloader ?


  • #138
    asdfg!
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 104 ✭✭asdfg!


    At this point you are simply engaging in trolling and sophistry. That's how weddings work. OK I get it you don't like that and you don't like seeing other people spending THEIR money how they choose. It's still none of your business.


  • #139
    Leverarchfile
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 39 ✭Leverarchfile


    April O Neill wrote: »
    Weddings cost a lot to attend, it's not like it's a free ride for guests.

    As I said, if you're not willing to contribute to the day and to a couple starting out in life, don't go, you'll be doing the bride and groom a favour by not showing up to whine and dine at their expense.


  • #140
    Addle
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,809 ✭✭✭Addle


    April O Neill wrote: »
    Weddings cost a lot to attend, it's not like it's a free ride for guests.

    Guests get an invitation, not a demand.
    They don't have to go.


  • #141
    eviltwin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    Leverarchfile wrote: »
    And why shouldn't they, are you some sort of miserable freeloader ?

    Is that the norm now? You have to cover the cost of your meal? :confused:

    All our guests came from overseas and went to a lot of expense to get here for it so we insisted they didn't give us anything. It would never have crossed my mind to get them to contribute to the cost of the day :eek:


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  • #142
    southsiderosie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,560 ✭✭✭southsiderosie


    Leverarchfile wrote: »
    And why shouldn't they, are you some sort of miserable freeloader ?

    No, I am someone who is actually familiar with etiquette. As the host, you invite people because you want to share your day with them. If you can't afford to have a big wedding with a sit-down dinner without squeezing your guests for cash, then have an informal reception with cake and champagne and call it a day. Frankly, I find a lot of the gift-grubbing around modern weddings (which extends to the endless showers, parties, etc. beforehand) to be grotesque.

    Gifts are expected at weddings, but the actual gift is at the discretion of the giver. Not to mention the fact that it is often quite expensive for guests, particularly out of town guests, to attend a wedding, and many guests will have already spent money on a shower gift and/or the stag/hen 'do.


  • #143
    Leverarchfile
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 39 ✭Leverarchfile


    eviltwin wrote: »
    Is that the norm now? You have to cover the cost of your meal? :confused:

    All our guests came from overseas and went to a lot of expense to get here for it so we insisted they didn't give us anything. It would never have crossed my mind to get them to contribute to the cost of the day :eek:

    To be any honest genuine guest knows a young couple need a cash present starting out in life, not a cheap knock off ornament that cost you €10 to pretend you're giving a present to save yourself some cash.


  • #144
    Alison Eager Bobsled
    Posts: 6,645 ✭✭✭ Alison Eager Bobsled


    I can easily see how the bill could come to 30K if you weren't even trying to be careful and just went for all the 'wedding' stuff - fancy hotel, expensive cake, special invitations, flowers, expensive dress, etc. What's the point, though? I'd see paying for that rubbish as money flushed down the toilet. I don't have that kind of money, my parents couldn't comfortably give me that kind of money and I suspect most of Ireland is in the same boat. I don't see any fun whatsoever in getting into debt for one day.

    And this 'asking for cash/vouchers' thing is so crass. I can't get over how many people appear to have been dragged up in such a way that they think it's fine to invite someone to a wedding and then specify what type of present they want. If you can't afford to cover someone's meal/drinks at a wedding, don't bloody invite them. Any wedding invitation I've ever received from a person asking for cash (some even tell you an amount :eek:) has gone straight into the bin and more often the not, the person's number deleted from my phone. I don't know what it is about weddings that seem to make people forget basic manners and decency.


  • #145
    April O Neill
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,305 ✭✭✭April O Neill


    Leverarchfile wrote: »
    And why shouldn't they, are you some sort of miserable freeloader ?

    Again, weddings are expensive to attend, even before gifts. Seems a lot of expense and hoop-jumping to freeload? :confused:


  • #146
    southsiderosie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,560 ✭✭✭southsiderosie


    Leverarchfile wrote: »
    To be any honest genuine guest knows a young couple need a cash present starting out in life, not a cheap knock off ornament that cost you €10 to pretend you're giving a present to save yourself some cash.

    If a young couple needs cash that badly, perhaps they would be better served by not spending $30,000 on their wedding day.


  • #147
    Leverarchfile
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 39 ✭Leverarchfile


    southsiderosie wrote: »
    No, I am someone who is actually familiar with etiquette. As the host, you invite people because you want to share your day with them. If you can't afford to have a big wedding with a sit-down dinner without squeezing your guests for cash, then have an informal reception with cake and champagne and call it a day. Frankly, I find a lot of the gift-grubbing around modern weddings (which extends to the endless showers, parties, etc. beforehand) to be grotesque.

    Gifts are expected at weddings, but the actual gift is at the discretion of the giver. Not to mention the fact that it is often quite expensive for guests, particularly out of town guests, to attend a wedding, and many guests will have already spent money on a shower gift and/or the stag/hen 'do.

    If you're too cheap to contribute a decent present and just want to whine and dine at the couples expense, just do them a favour and stay at home.


  • #148
    April O Neill
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,305 ✭✭✭April O Neill


    Leverarchfile wrote: »
    As I said, if you're not willing to contribute to the day and to a couple starting out in life, don't go, you'll be doing the bride and groom a favour by not showing up to whine and dine at their expense.

    It's not just at the couple's expense.


  • #149
    TheUsual
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,288 ✭✭✭TheUsual


    Don't feed the troll.


  • #150
    April O Neill
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,305 ✭✭✭April O Neill


    asdfg! wrote: »
    At this point you are simply engaging in trolling and sophistry.

    If that's how you wish to intrepret, alrighty then! :)


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  • #151
    eviltwin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    Leverarchfile wrote: »
    To be any honest genuine guest knows a young couple need a cash present starting out in life, not a cheap knock off ornament that cost you €10 to pretend you're giving a present to save yourself some cash.

    See when i got married I just wanted my nearest and dearest there, I didn't do it to make a few bob.


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