Why do people still have expensive weddings?

Seanafitz · 12-05-2013 11:15AM

Gee_G wrote: »

I'm a woman, I want perfection but not at the cost of putting ourselves in debt!

But if you had the money you would spend as much as possible .. And I bet he told her te get whatever she wants .. No budget .. And it's eventually amounted to that cost .. He can't say no now

whiteandlight · 12-05-2013 11:17AM

It's personal. I had a big wedding, expensive? Yes but not compared to what some spend on 'small weddings'. I sent 300 invites, sat 198 and came in well under 20k. We postponed our honeymoon for six months to save. It was a amazing day, literally the best day of my life.

Funniest conversation I ever had was with a colleague who was horrified at my numbers, oh no we will have under 100. You couldn't have that many people! Biggest difference-their price per head was more than twice ours and our food was great. Yes theirs was better but not worth that level of premium. You have to shop around

darkdubh · 12-05-2013 11:17AM

CommanderC wrote: »

They do it because they are attention seeking idiots......and because they see other people doing it.

Not to mention seeing Z list clebs in the pages of magazines with their tasteless themed weddings.

Schnitzel Muncher · 12-05-2013 11:19AM

NegativeCreep wrote: »

Even gayer than Eltons.

You'll have to hire one of these:

https://www.google.ie/search?q=jordan+carriage+wedding&client=safari&hl=en-gb&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=OmyPUZ2hHMzZsgbRxYCYDA&ved=0CAgQ_AUoAQ&biw=320&bih=416#biv=i%7C1%3Bd%7CZmSIcdv_1qjiQM%3A

lightspeed · 12-05-2013 11:19AM

Seanafitz wrote: »

Women want perfection .. Perfection cost money .. What man is going to deny his fiancé ether big day ??

If a male in a relationship said to the woman that it has always been his dream for him and his beloved to spend €30,000 in a day gambling and drinking with her and their closest friends and family until the money was gone, shouldn't this understanding woman save for this day as well and make his special day come true?

.jacksparrow. · 12-05-2013 11:19AM

lightspeed wrote: »

Its like saying even though i knew there was going to be more austerity in the country and things would become more financially difficult, i thought feck it. I'm going to have an expensive wedding and ignore all off that inconvenient relevant information. Im just that stupid and then I'm going to complain about my bills and expect people to understand and sympathise with my situation.

Im not saying people who get married cant have political opinions on, im saying people who complain about how they are financially burden with austerity after or whist spending €30000 on one day are f**king financially retarded.

So everyone who gets married nowadays gives out about having no money?

I know not one couple like this.

Sauve · 12-05-2013 11:20AM

Seanafitz wrote: »

But if you had the money you would spend as much as possible .. And I bet he told her te get whatever she wants .. No budget .. And it's eventually amounted to that cost .. He can't say no now

What kind of idiots would agree to get married, not set a budget, not discuss what type of wedding they want or can afford, and not put a halt to it when costs are getting out of hand?

Gee_G · 12-05-2013 11:20AM

Seanafitz wrote: »

But if you had the money you would spend as much as possible .. And I bet he told her te get whatever she wants .. No budget .. And it's eventually amounted to that cost .. He can't say no now

No, I don't think I would. Honestly. We are not planning on getting married for a few years, which would be lots of time to save etc. But I really could not justify spending €30,000 on a wedding,whether we had it or not. Its crazy!

12-05-2013 11:22AM

Because to some people their wedding day is a very big deal and are not happy with so low rate reception with only a few people. They want a big day that they will remember and have lots of their family and friends there to enjoy it and of course some people have to be invited like neighbours etc as they would have invited you to their weddings etc. They will also make back a good bit of the cost of the wedding in presents too which you can take into account when organising it.

scoey · 12-05-2013 11:23AM

Well OP, I would imagine it is because either one or both of the people getting married want to have one.
Hope that helps.

Chet T16 · 12-05-2013 11:24AM

Our wedding cost about 4.5k including the honeymoon. The joys of bringing 2 guests!

Shenshen · 12-05-2013 11:24AM

I don't know, I never understood it myself, not even when everybody had enough money to cover it easily without going into debt.

When we got married, we invited 15 people - we had decided we really only wanted the people who WE really really liked, and nobody else. That did cause some frictions within both our families, both his and my mom were inviting people we had never planned to invite, and we told them quite frankly that it was our wedding and they didn't get to invite anyone.

My husband had found a gorgeous purple dress for me on ebay, the most expensive thing for us was the hotel as we paid for everyone to stay the night, as well as for all the drinks.

We still came in at well under €3k, and it was the most amazing day ever.

.jacksparrow. · 12-05-2013 11:24AM

Gee_G wrote: »

No, I don't think I would. Honestly. We are not planning on getting married for a few years, which would be lots of time to save etc. But I really could not justify spending €30,000 on a wedding,whether we had it or not. Its crazy!

Maybe you're opinion will change when you're getting married.

NegativeCreep · 12-05-2013 11:29AM

Schnitzel Muncher wrote: »

You'll have to hire one of these:

https://www.google.ie/search?q=jordan+carriage+wedding&client=safari&hl=en-gb&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=OmyPUZ2hHMzZsgbRxYCYDA&ved=0CAgQ_AUoAQ&biw=320&bih=416#biv=i%7C1%3Bd%7CZmSIcdv_1qjiQM%3A

Obvo Hunzo

blatantrereg · 12-05-2013 12:02PM

The L'Oreal effect is right. It effects men just as much as women though.

looking_around · 12-05-2013 12:26PM

Keeping up with the jones syndrome ..

They 'need' to show off

spankysue · 12-05-2013 01:09PM

My fiance and I are getting married next year and not planning on spending anywhere near that amount of money, we've budgeted it at €7500 excluding the honeymoon and that's a generous estimate, we're hoping to cut down a good bit on that.

Thankfully for my fella, I'm not one of these mad b1tches that wants to spend a fortune on anything, I've already seen the wedding dress I want on Adverts for €100

To us, it's about who you have there, not about showing off.

.jacksparrow. · 12-05-2013 01:23PM

spankysue wrote: »

My fiance and I are getting married next year and not planning on spending anywhere near that amount of money, we've budgeted it at €7500 excluding the honeymoon and that's a generous estimate, we're hoping to cut down a good bit on that.

Thankfully for my fella, I'm not one of these mad b1tches that wants to spend a fortune on anything, I've already seen the wedding dress I want on Adverts for €100

To us, it's about who you have there, not about showing off.

Fair play to you that's good you're doing it your way, but some people do want to spend a bit more, and its not fair to say their showing off.

spankysue · 12-05-2013 01:38PM

.jacksparrow. wrote: »

Fair play to you that's good you're doing it your way, but some people do want to spend a bit more, and its not fair to say their showing off.

That's fair enough, I'm only speaking from experience of ridiculous weddings that I've been at with things like giant centerpieces in the middle of tables where none of ye can see can see each other and the bride is asking ya stuff like "Well what do ya think of it, that cost us... blah blah blah"

That sort of stuff makes me think that they only care that people know how much they've spent. But maybe I just know a few a$$holes

Senna · 12-05-2013 01:40PM

Thankfully people do still have massive weddings, if they didn't I'd be out of a job.

misterdeeds · 12-05-2013 01:42PM

CommanderC wrote: »

They do it because they are attention seeking idiots......and because they see other people doing it.

I totally agree with you ,I have worked in a local hotel and worked at many weddings 200+ guests (who da feck knows that many people in all fairness ) well who knows enough people well enough to invite them to all of your wedding day , or is this a smart move in terms of gifts (money in cards etc)
I remember one wedding for 250 people which I worked at and during the reception at the bar two guys were talking about the bride and groom and one said to the other that they wer idiots spending all their money on all the people at the wedding and hardly knowing them ,
Alot of these weddings are all show imo but it's their day money etc

eviltwin · 12-05-2013 01:43PM

My wedding - including honeymoon - came in at just under 1000 euros. We got no end of slagging though for being cheapskates.

Shenshen · 12-05-2013 01:44PM

.jacksparrow. wrote: »

Fair play to you that's good you're doing it your way, but some people do want to spend a bit more, and its not fair to say their showing off.

I can understand some of it - some people love having as many people around as they can, some people want to know how special their dress, flowers, food, etc are.

But some items I simply don't get - a friend of mine got married about 3 years ago, and her now husband went and spent €2000 on having the invitations printed before she could stop him, because he really liked the shade of parchment.
They've got a perfectly good printer at home, and the parchment paper doesn't cost all that much in an arts and crafts shop. I was honestly speechless when she told me how much that printing company charged.

Cunning Stunt · 12-05-2013 01:49PM

hard to believe people are still spending amounts like that, especially when many hotels are now doing cheaper wedding packages. My brother is getting married in July - civil ceremony and reception in a hotel, and he has chosen a 4 to 5k wedding package for up to 100 guests, which includes mulled wine and champagne toast on arrival, 3 course dinner, evening buffet food and 10 free rooms in the hotel. I know there is band hire / wedding party outfits / transport to throw into the mix, but I doubt their bill will come anywhere close to 30k :eek:

Addle · 12-05-2013 01:57PM

Daveysil15 wrote: »

How much do they actually make in gifts though?

You got to speculate to accumulate!

Each to their own.

Getting married is a big deal and i think it should be marked as such.
Plus, if you don't share happy occasions with people, then you're just left with the sad.

I think people wouldn't spend that much on 1 day if they didn't think they'd make mist of it back in gifts though.

rolliepoley · 12-05-2013 01:58PM

I'll be going to one at the end of may,thirty grand the mad things are spending on it,what a total waste of money that could go to some better use.

eviltwin · 12-05-2013 02:00PM

Addle wrote: »

Getting married is a big deal and i think it should be marked as such.
.

That doesn't necessarily mean you need to spend a fortune. A small, intimate wedding can be just as special as a big event.

Shenshen · 12-05-2013 02:04PM

Cunning Stunt wrote: »

hard to believe people are still spending amounts like that, especially when many hotels are now doing cheaper wedding packages. My brother is getting married in July - civil ceremony and reception in a hotel, and he has chosen a 4 to 5k wedding package for up to 100 guests, which includes mulled wine and champagne toast on arrival, 3 course dinner, evening buffet food and 10 free rooms in the hotel. I know there is band hire / wedding party outfits / transport to throw into the mix, but I doubt their bill will come anywhere close to 30k :eek:

Mulled wine in July?

southsiderosie · 12-05-2013 02:06PM

lightspeed wrote: »

I questioned why she had such an expensive wedding and she said that you have to have a proper wedding.

I think social pressure is a big part of the reason why people end up having big, expensive weddings: as soon as you say you are getting married, everyone and their mother (and second cousin) has an opinion on how you are 'supposed' to do things. This can get particularly tricky with parents.

I don't begrudge anyone their big day out "dream wedding", but that is not what I or my fiancé want. I wish that others would have the same respect for the fact that my "dream wedding" is a civil ceremony followed by a BBQ. :pac:

If people would just mind their own business and respect other peoples' choices, the world would be a better place.

.jacksparrow. · 12-05-2013 02:13PM

southsiderosie wrote: »

I think social pressure is a big part of the reason why people end up having big, expensive weddings: as soon as you say you are getting married, everyone and their mother (and second cousin) has an opinion on how you are 'supposed' to do things. This can get particularly tricky with parents.

I don't begrudge anyone their big day out "dream wedding", but that is not what I or my fiancé want. I wish that others would have the same respect for the fact that my "dream wedding" is a civil ceremony followed by a BBQ. :pac:

If people would just mind their own business and respect other peoples' choices, the world would be a better place.

Exactly but its obvious from this thread people who like to spend a bit of money on their wedding, are showing off, keeping up with the Jones, iresponsible because of the recession etc etc, load of people having a nice rant about peoples choices, not surprising given how Ireland has changed.

Why do people still have expensive weddings?

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