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Quick One Liners ! 140 charactors apply

  • 02-04-2013 10:04pm
    #1
    andym1
    Site Banned Posts: 194 ✭✭andym1


    I thought I was great in bed till my girlfriend told me she had asthma !

    Next...


Comments

  • #2
    Monica Creamy Meadow
    Posts: 0 CMod ✭✭✭✭ Monica Creamy Meadow


    As opposed to slow one liners?


  • #3
    AnarchistKen
    Registered Users Posts: 129 ✭✭AnarchistKen


    My girlfriend said she wanted me to tease her, so I said: "Alright, fatty?"


  • #4
    antodeco
    Registered Users, Subscribers, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,619 ✭✭✭✭antodeco


    I once started a thread in after hours, even though the humour forum was more suited!


  • #5
    PizzamanIRL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,147 ✭✭✭PizzamanIRL


    andym1 wrote: »
    I thought I was great in bed till my girlfriend told me she had asthma !

    Next...

    Your daughter is out of razors.


  • #6
    andym1
    Site Banned Posts: 194 ✭✭andym1


    antodeco wrote: »
    I once started a thread in after hours, even though the humour forum was more suited!

    I once decided that, as i was pissed off, I would spread my misery over AH and ban fun. PS Whats (Humour ?)


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  • #7
    Hersheys
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,308 ✭✭✭Hersheys


    Spot the person who wants to be a funny tweeter


  • #8
    andym1
    Site Banned Posts: 194 ✭✭andym1


    PizzamanIRL wrote: »
    Your daughter is out of razors.
    No, She is shaving as we speak cos i left them in the bathroom for her...another miserable AH git ! :( you


  • #9
    Celly Smunt
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,464 ✭✭✭Celly Smunt


    "my wife said she wanted to try somewhere new,i said try the kitchen" Ba Dum Tish


  • #10
    andym1
    Site Banned Posts: 194 ✭✭andym1


    Hersheys wrote: »
    Spot the person who wants to be a funny tweeter

    Spot the person with the only light in the room is off the pc screen !


  • #11
    lkionm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,407 ✭✭✭lkionm


    andym1 wrote: »
    No, She is shaving as we speak cos i left them in the bathroom for her...another miserable AH git ! :( you

    She sure is ;)


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  • #12
    antodeco
    Registered Users, Subscribers, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,619 ✭✭✭✭antodeco


    andym1 wrote: »
    I once decided that, as i was pissed off, I would spread my misery over AH and ban fun. PS Whats (Humour ?)

    Why are you pissed off?


  • #13
    Archeron
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,375 ✭✭✭Archeron


    A dyslexic man walks into a bra..


  • #14
    andym1
    Site Banned Posts: 194 ✭✭andym1


    lkionm wrote: »
    She sure is ;)
    indeed, Funny ish ! No you are actually hillarious


  • #15
    cartell_best
    Closed Accounts Posts: 579 ✭✭✭cartell_best


    Brian:" Excuse me. Are you the Judean People's Front?" Reg: "Fook off! We're the People's Front of Judea." >Life of Brian<


  • #16
    admiralofthefleet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,515 ✭✭✭✭admiralofthefleet


    andym1 wrote: »
    I thought I was great in bed till my girlfriend told me she had asthma !

    Next...

    fresh cod and chips please, love


  • #17
    lkionm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,407 ✭✭✭lkionm


    andym1 wrote: »
    indeed, Funny ish ! No you are actually hillarious

    Thanks bro. Comedy is not about smashing back doors but rather ringing a bell and running away.

    *runs away*


  • #18
    andym1
    Site Banned Posts: 194 ✭✭andym1


    antodeco wrote: »
    Why are you pissed off?

    You ignored me in the toilet and we had a deal


  • #19
    antodeco
    Registered Users, Subscribers, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,619 ✭✭✭✭antodeco


    Well I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on


  • #20
    Czarcasm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    The Titanic was one liner that took a while to sink in.


  • #21
    Standard Toaster
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,287 ✭✭✭✭Standard Toaster


    <insert Rodney Dangerfield/Tommy Cooper quote>


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  • #22
    andym1
    Site Banned Posts: 194 ✭✭andym1


    antodeco wrote: »
    Well I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on
    Can I have my money back then ? Thats the second time you have chickened out ! All talk as usual


  • #23
    alfa beta
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 763 ✭✭✭alfa beta


    My girlfriend left me coz of my pasta-touching fetish. So now, y'know, I'm feeling cannelloni.


  • #24
    Czarcasm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    alfa beta wrote: »
    My girlfriend left me coz of my pasta-touching fetish. So now, y'know, I'm feeling cannelloni.


    You forgot the "badum tish" on the durum.


  • #25
    csallmighty
    Registered Users Posts: 650 ✭✭✭csallmighty


    pmcmahon wrote: »
    "my wife said she wanted to try somewhere new,i said try the kitchen" Ba Dum Tish

    "I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back" :pac:


  • #26
    Peregrine
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 26,403 Mod ✭✭✭✭Peregrine


    .


  • #27
    lmao
    Registered Users Posts: 386 ✭✭lmao


    I'm so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed!


  • #28
    Frito
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 769 ✭✭✭Frito


    I have never, nor will never, make a joke about erections *touch wood* (Stewart Francis)


  • #29
    ArnoldJRimmer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,498 ✭✭✭ArnoldJRimmer


    A girl in work asked me for an example of a double entendre, so I gave her one


  • #30
    humbert
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,238 ✭✭✭humbert


    I'm in but I don't know where you'll get the other 139.


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  • #31
    The Backwards Man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    140 people were interviewed for a job, no one got it.


  • #32
    wretcheddomain
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,094 ✭✭✭wretcheddomain


    The Backwards Man wrote: »
    140 people were interviewed for a job, no one got it.

    That's because they only hire people with a sense of humour.


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