Memories that make you cringe

CorsetIsTight · 29-03-2013 11:38PM

Does anyone else make a little involuntary noise when they think of those awful, embarrassing memories...?

I find myself turning that noise into humming or singing to distract myself from the embarrassment of both the memory and the involuntary noise.

Prodigious · 29-03-2013 11:51PM

CorsetIsTight wrote: »

Does anyone else make a little involuntary noise when they think of those awful, embarrassing memories...?

I find myself turning that noise into humming or singing to distract myself from the embarrassment of both the memory and the involuntary noise.

Every time. Or a mutter, or a grumble of fuuuuuu....

builttospill · 29-03-2013 11:59PM

Mick Lally was my father's cousin. At my grandfather's funeral when I was about 10 I was starstruck when he showed up so I made it my mission to get an autograph off "Miley". I vividly remember going up to him as the coffin was just being lowered into the grave and asking for an autograph and one for my friend back home. I was too full of youthful exuberance to give a fcuk about my grandfather (who I didn't know well in fairness) and I recall Mick signing the autographs swiftly and silently while trying to grieve like everyone else.

I know I was young but ffs. That makes me cringe so bad.

MickFleetwood · 30-03-2013 12:01AM

Went to beat somebody up a few years ago. He was rather heavy, and I ended up trying to grab him by the collar and throw him around while my friends looked on.

I barely pushed him. Jesus, that was terrible. I was struggling and heaving yet only managed to make him slightly off-balance. Talk about ****ing weak, eh?

bleg · 30-03-2013 12:02AM

Things like this used to make me cringe. Then I realised there's nothing I could do about them so I stopped cringing.

The Pheasant · 30-03-2013 12:07AM

Went to my cousin's 21st birthday when I was about 16 and I was allowed have a few beers, of course I got absolutely ****faced and vomited everywhere in front of my whole family - was absolutely mortified the next morning...even worse I repeated the feat again two years later...spicy food and guinness - never again

DazMarz · 30-03-2013 12:37AM

This only happened last weekend; my cousin's wedding in England. More than a few Jack Daniels and coke and then Billy Idol's "White Wedding" came on at the reception. Cue mad dancing and making a complete tit of myself. There's a video out there that another cousin of mine managed to record. I also removed my tie and tied it around my head in a makeshift bandana for the occasion. I also did a fairly good approximation of the wild wail Billy Idol does towards the end of the song... WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOW...

or something like that.

I had blissfully forgotten all about it until I saw the video the next morning while nursing my woeful hangover. It was funny, but absolutely, totally and utterly cringeworthy.

Or possibly another incident when I threatened to have an (Irish) barman deported when I was 17 and totally intoxicated if he wouldn't give me another drink... Jesus... I still get reminded of that to this day. I don't know what's worse; that I was such a gobshíte back then, that I threatened to have someone deported, that they turned out to be Irish or the stupidly underlying racism in what I did.

Or possibly the time when I was about 8 and I sobbed my eyes out on the sideline at a football match when I was substituted. It wasn't about showing passion, it was just that I was a selfish little bollix who wanted to stay on the pitch to massage his own ego.

Or in school when I was about 15. Playing football at lunch and someone on my team made a mistake. I launched forth with something along the lines of: "You stupid fúcking cúnt! Are you fúcking for real?! You're a useless fúcking wánker fúcking gobshíte. For fúck sake! Fúcking cúnting useless so you are! A fúcking disgrace!" and so on. Turn around, and the principal is standing ten feet away, having hear my whole tirade. I was in an all-Irish secondary too, so talking English was very frowned upon. I think I copped 2 weeks' detention over that one.

Neadine · 30-03-2013 12:46AM

DazMarz wrote: »

This only happened last weekend; my cousin's wedding in England. More than a few Jack Daniels and coke and then Billy Idol's "White Wedding" came on at the reception. Cue mad dancing and making a complete tit of myself. There's a video out there that another cousin of mine managed to record. I also removed my tie and tied it around my head in a makeshift bandana for the occasion. I also did a fairly good approximation of the wild wail Billy Idol does towards the end of the song... WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOW...

or something like that.

I had blissfully forgotten all about it until I saw the video the next morning while nursing my woeful hangover. It was funny, but absolutely, totally and utterly cringeworthy.

Or possibly another incident when I threatened to have an (Irish) barman deported when I was 17 and totally intoxicated if he wouldn't give me another drink... Jesus... I still get reminded of that to this day. I don't know what's worse; that I was such a gobshíte back then, that I threatened to have someone deported, that they turned out to be Irish or the stupidly underlying racism in what I did.

Or possibly the time when I was about 8 and I sobbed my eyes out on the sideline at a football match when I was substituted. It wasn't about showing passion, it was just that I was a selfish little bollix who wanted to stay on the pitch to massage his own ego.

Or in school when I was about 15. Playing football at lunch and someone on my team made a mistake. I launched forth with something along the lines of: "You stupid fúcking cúnt! Are you fúcking for real?! You're a useless fúcking wánker fúcking gobshíte. For fúck sake! Fúcking cúnting useless so you are! A fúcking disgrace!" and so on. Turn around, and the principal is standing ten feet away, having hear my whole tirade. I was in an all-Irish secondary too, so talking English was very frowned upon. I think I copped 2 weeks' detention over that one.

Your parents must be sooo proud!

The Pheasant · 30-03-2013 12:56AM

Actually another one, at my cousins communion, it was very late into the night and a singsong started - cue (somewhat intoxicated) me making an awful attempt at "Raglan road" in the style of Luke Kelly...only knew the first verse or so *shudders*

Son0vagun · 30-03-2013 01:02AM

One time I found a safe, shared it with AH and after a long battle I discovered it only contained two empty jars!

I still cringe.

BillyMitchel · 30-03-2013 01:05AM

I was on the late late before and I was drunk and was talking **** to Pat Kenny. Still get sick to this day 10+ years.

Basically I made a tool of myself on national T.V

Loads others with women but that many can't remember..

BillyMitchel · 30-03-2013 01:07AM

Son0vagun wrote: »

One time I found a safe, shared it with AH and after a long battle I discovered it only contained two empty jars!

I still cringe.

Sorry to rub it in but there was a similar thread on reddit a couple weeks back and apparently what was in the safe was worth a fortune!!

KKkitty · 30-03-2013 01:09AM

Good Friday brings back a cringeworthy moment for me. Had a tuna sandwich before the mass and was queasy all throughout it. As soon as mass was over I made my way outside the church and proceded to vomit ferociously in front of everyone.

DazMarz · 30-03-2013 01:11AM

Neadine wrote: »

Your parents must be sooo proud!

My father has made a gobshíte out of himsef enough times... It's no mystery where I got it from.

But these are, bear in mind, a few isolated incidents over the span of a 25 year lifetime. I'm relatively normal most of the time. And most other embarrassing incidents are unknown to the general public at large.

Another one I thought of too, btw...

A friend of mine was standing on the street wearing a suit and smoking a cigarette when I walked past. This guy LIVES in jeans, hoodie and runners, so seeing him suited up was a bit weird. I of course walked up and clapped him on the shoulder, "Jaysus, man. Who's dead?"

""My mother" and he tears up a little.

I stammered something of an apology before shuffling off, wanting the ground to open up and swallow me there and then...

lahalane · 30-03-2013 02:38AM

I was doing the Mocks for the Leaving and we were all in the gym. I was at the top where there was a cement mixer type heater (don't know the name) blowing out heat directly at me. It melted the chewing gum from under the desk and resulted in me having a sticky white mess on the crotch of my pants for the rest of the day.

BOHtox · 30-03-2013 03:06AM

A mate of mine and I were in the local shop. He was buying a drink and was about to pay for it in the exact coins but he had loads of 10s and 20s. He walked up to the cashier who happened to be our other mate's extremely hot sister. Like we're talking smokin' hot! He walks up, playing all cool, and says "ah heya doin *Cashier's name* I'm *Cashier's brother's friend* can i get a discount?
The tension was ridiculous. A terrible opening line! So he hands her the drink and she scans it and says whatever the price was. He handed her a good dozen coins but his mind wanders and he starts staring at her. He released the coins too early and they go flying everywhere. I'm in fits of laughter and walked out of the shop while the two were left to pick up the coins. Hilarious stuff but I really cringe for the poor guy when looking back!

padd b1975 · 30-03-2013 11:17AM

First Holy Communion Day.

Canary yellow clip on tie.

That is all.

Hunchback · 30-03-2013 11:34AM

Foo fighters gig in the Olympia. Upstairs. Saw a hot guy flirting with me . Walked over to meet him. Realised it was an enormous mirror. Fukn shamer!!

Quick scan left/right and move on hoping no bouncers or anyone saw.

Rasheed · 30-03-2013 01:59PM

Only yesterday at work, I was talking to a woman who was worried about an audit we did together. She was so worried we'd missed something so I said 'Don't worry, we looked over those papers until we were cross eyed. They're perfect.'

Cue awkward silence, me wondering what was wrong. Until I realised her husband is actually cross eyed. I'm such a tit.

jaffacakesyum · 30-03-2013 02:48PM

Rasheed wrote: »

Only yesterday at work, I was talking to a woman who was worried about an audit we did together. She was so worried we'd missed something so I said 'Don't worry, we looked over those papers until we were cross eyed. They're perfect.'

Cue awkward silence, me wondering what was wrong. Until I realised her husband is actually cross eyed. I'm such a tit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lbGInC5grg

Teyla Emmagan · 30-03-2013 02:55PM

builttospill wrote: »

Mick Lally was my father's cousin. At my grandfather's funeral when I was about 10 I was starstruck when he showed up so I made it my mission to get an autograph off "Miley". I vividly remember going up to him as the coffin was just being lowered into the grave and asking for an autograph and one for my friend back home. I was too full of youthful exuberance to give a fcuk about my grandfather (who I didn't know well in fairness) and I recall Mick signing the autographs swiftly and silently while trying to grieve like everyone else.

I know I was young but ffs. That makes me cringe so bad.

That's fantastic. I am cringing for you

31-03-2013 07:41PM

I just remembered one.

I was in a huge department store and in the really busy Women's department I slipped/tripped and sort of crashed head first into a full length mirror. Everyone turned to look. Very embarrassing.

Then I apologised loudly to my reflection.

Legs.Eleven · 31-03-2013 08:05PM

I've been teaching English over here in Spain over 3 years now and have been lucky in that all my classes have gone well and students have never complained...except one!

One class was a total disaster. It was a small company class of only 3 students. I'd been going through a phase of eating beans and lentils for lunch and as I was teaching some grammar point or other, I let out an almighty parp as I was staring directly into the eyes of one student. I couldn't stop and had to continue and as I'm blonde and go red quite easily, I could feel myself burning up, which made it all the more weird. The must've thought I was some minger.

A few days later, I didn't realise but I'd left my house with a piece of toilet roll dangling jauntily from the back of my jeans and managed to walk down the street, get public transport, walk down the street again and through the corridors of the company and into the meeting room I taught in and only realised it was there at the very end of the class in the jacks.

3 days later my academy replaced me without explaining why. They didn't need to though.

sea_monkey · 31-03-2013 08:14PM

just yesterday I was on my way to work rushing for the bus through Eyre Square.

I was wearing black work trousers, they had a tiny little tear at my left pocket, it was there for a while and I kept meaning to get it fixed.

Anyway, there I was rushing through the crowds and I slide past a pole to get in front of a group of people.

My trousers rip from my pocket right down past my knee.

The little hole had gotten caught on some rust.

Legged it to a taxi showing all of Eyre square my nags....the shame!

callaway92 · 31-03-2013 08:32PM

DazMarz wrote: »

This only happened last weekend; my cousin's wedding in England. More than a few Jack Daniels and coke and then Billy Idol's "White Wedding" came on at the reception. Cue mad dancing and making a complete tit of myself. There's a video out there that another cousin of mine managed to record. I also removed my tie and tied it around my head in a makeshift bandana for the occasion. I also did a fairly good approximation of the wild wail Billy Idol does towards the end of the song... WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOW...

or something like that.

I had blissfully forgotten all about it until I saw the video the next morning while nursing my woeful hangover. It was funny, but absolutely, totally and utterly cringeworthy.

Or possibly another incident when I threatened to have an (Irish) barman deported when I was 17 and totally intoxicated if he wouldn't give me another drink... Jesus... I still get reminded of that to this day. I don't know what's worse; that I was such a gobshíte back then, that I threatened to have someone deported, that they turned out to be Irish or the stupidly underlying racism in what I did.

Or possibly the time when I was about 8 and I sobbed my eyes out on the sideline at a football match when I was substituted. It wasn't about showing passion, it was just that I was a selfish little bollix who wanted to stay on the pitch to massage his own ego.

Or in school when I was about 15. Playing football at lunch and someone on my team made a mistake. I launched forth with something along the lines of: "You stupid fúcking cúnt! Are you fúcking for real?! You're a useless fúcking wánker fúcking gobshíte. For fúck sake! Fúcking cúnting useless so you are! A fúcking disgrace!" and so on. Turn around, and the principal is standing ten feet away, having hear my whole tirade. I was in an all-Irish secondary too, so talking English was very frowned upon. I think I copped 2 weeks' detention over that one.

Probably the longest unfunny post ever.

DazMarz · 31-03-2013 08:44PM

callaway92 wrote: »

Probably the longest unfunny post ever.

Thank you, you're too kind.

hairyslug · 31-03-2013 08:59PM

Paddys day about 10 years ago, about 2 in the afternoon, absolutely sh!tfaced, was upstairs in a pub on Dorset st chatting up a girl, decided that we would move on to another pub, started to walk down the stairs, fell, tumbled and took out the whole band at the bottom of the stairs.

hairyslug · 31-03-2013 09:01PM

Or on a night out in Galway with a girlfriend (had only been going out a few months) got back to the hotel and absolutely destroyed the jacks, poor girl was never the same again

Mushy · 31-03-2013 09:40PM

At the desk in a bank one day, getting helped by the cashier. Few silent seconds so as I look around, I see a lad who I recognise. Hes with a cashier who I know. I call his name, fairly quietly, to no response. Finish my transaction, flick the lad in the ear, for him to turn around and be some stranger.

I couldnt apologise enough, he laughed it off in the midst of my rushed repeated apologies, and the cashier I know nearly falls off her chair. My mate was still in Pakistan at the time.

Prodigious · 31-03-2013 09:45PM

In the library one day. Head to the bathroom (unisex) to see the whole place is covered in piss. Turn around and walk back toward my seat. Just as I'm leaving a cute girl walks past, smiles at me, and makes her way to the bathroom.

Memories that make you cringe

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