"HSE funding advice on teen threesomes" - Sindo

efb · 24-03-2013 08:01PM

Atlantis50 wrote: »

Firstly you're extremely naive if you think Mulherin will actually read that if you send it. Her secretary will take one look at it and bin it.

And she'd be dead right because it's a load of long-winded bull.

You want Mulherin to instead focus on the issues of suicide and the economy?

Perhaps you should do some research first ("research" being a quick Google search):

Suicide: http://oireachtasdebates.oireachtas.ie/debates%20authoring/debateswebpack.nsf/zoomin?readform&chamber=dail&memberid=2309&pid=MichelleMulherin&year=2011&month=05&day=03

There are many links to oireachtas debates where Mulherin raises issues about jobs and the economy.

She is right to raise the issue of a government-funded website giving reckless advice on sex to teenagers.

How is it wreckless?

Corkfeen · 24-03-2013 08:10PM

Mulherin is also that silly woman who raised the issue of 'Fornication' last year. Not the most credible of politicians.

Nodin · 24-03-2013 08:16PM

flatbackfour wrote: »

Well i happen to think that promoting teens into having threesums is pretty bad for society and for teens themselves, without at least first offering the advice to teens that they are probably not ready developmentally for such activity.

I deal with kids every day I see how they are more and more being manipulated by a overly sexualised media that it obsessed with sex as just a fun activity without any emotional consequences. I would expect a more nuanced approach from such a website.

Just don't buy into the consumerist of sexuality as an individualized product without consequences.

You're absolutely right. Some 16/17 year old lad/young one would never, ever, ever think about sex if it wasn't for modern society.

Well it is I remember my own teenage years, in the 80's. The thought of a womans company or worse - her "parts" - would set me into a spasm of vomiting. 'God's antidote' it was called, for impure and scary thoughts. I was 26 before I could say the word "breast" without smacking my head off a wall for a few minutes.

Sergeant · 24-03-2013 08:17PM

Corkfeen wrote: »

Mulherin is also that silly woman who raised the issue of 'Fornication' last year. Not the most credible of politicians.

I propose she not be allowed express her opinions in the future, as they are ones that people on the Internet find objectionable.

Corkfeen · 24-03-2013 08:19PM

Sergeant wrote: »

I propose she not be allowed express her opinions in the future, as they are ones that people on the Internet find objectionable.

I have no objections to her voicing her opinion. I just don't view it to be particularly credible, especially since she doesn't appear to have even viewed the website and based her entire opinion off soundbytes from the sindo journalist. I have found her to be rather amusing though... :P

LizT · 24-03-2013 08:22PM

Michelle Mulherin's basic salary plus expenses is more than Spunout receive each year. I know which one I'd rather fund.

mikom · 24-03-2013 08:22PM

Ok, so we have Mulherin and Healy Eames.......... who is to be the final element of the "won't somebody think of the children" threesome...........?

Eod100 · 24-03-2013 08:22PM

Atlantis50 wrote: »

Firstly you're extremely naive if you think Mulherin will actually read that if you send it. Her secretary will take one look at it and bin it.

And she'd be dead right because it's a load of long-winded bull.

You want Mulherin to instead focus on the issues of suicide and the economy?

Perhaps you should do some research first ("research" being a quick Google search):

Suicide: http://oireachtasdebates.oireachtas.ie/debates%20authoring/debateswebpack.nsf/zoomin?readform&chamber=dail&memberid=2309&pid=MichelleMulherin&year=2011&month=05&day=03

There are many links to oireachtas debates where Mulherin raises issues about jobs and the economy.

She is right to raise the issue of a government-funded website giving reckless advice on sex to teenagers.

haha sure there's nothing naive about thinking that a politician is going to have an impact on the sexual activity of young people!

I guess you missed the bit which said that advice causes young people to wait till they're older to have sex..

Madam_X · 24-03-2013 08:30PM

flatbackfour wrote: »

Threesums fun? As a teen? FFS i must be getting old.

Some teenagers want to do it though, to experiment (although I've no doubt that some just do it in order to look cool - some teens can be really stupid in that sense).
Just because you didn't and you didn't know others who did so, doesn't mean it wasn't happening or that teens didn't want to do it.

Einhard · 24-03-2013 08:52PM

I don't know. I understand that giving teenagers unbiased information about sexual topics is a good thing, but it seems a bit odd to be telling teenagers that they can really add spice and passion to their sex lives by engaging in threesomes. They can have serious consequences, and I'm not sure if a bunch of school kids would approach a threesome with the type of maturity and awareness that might characterise an adult's thinking on the matter.

I'm not saying that they shouldn't be given info on the issue if they require it, but the actual advice seems a bit sensationalist in itself. And I don't think someone who objects to such an approach is automatically a prudish throwback to a bygone era.

efb · 24-03-2013 08:59PM

mikom wrote: »

Ok, so we have Mulherin and Healy Eames.......... who is to be the final element of the "won't somebody think of the children" threesome...........?

Mayo's Dublin TD Lucinda Creighton

Seaneh · 24-03-2013 09:03PM

Einhard wrote: »

I don't know. I understand that giving teenagers unbiased information about sexual topics is a good thing, but it seems a bit odd to be telling teenagers that they can really add spice and passion to their sex lives by engaging in threesomes. They can have serious consequences, and I'm not sure if a bunch of school kids would approach a threesome with the type of maturity and awareness that might characterise an adult's thinking on the matter.

I'm not saying that they shouldn't be given info on the issue if they require it, but the actual advice seems a bit sensationalist in itself. And I don't think someone who objects to such an approach is automatically a prudish throwback to a bygone era.

Spunout deal with people from 16-25, the material they publish is aimed at people across that spectrum, some of it wont be applicable to people at the younger end of it (this sort of stuff) and some of it won't be applicable to people at the older end of it. However, the reality is that teenagers do have sex, a lot of it. So why not give them the reality rather than just tell them "don't do that" because that's worked fecking great so far....

Rightwing · 24-03-2013 09:11PM

More cock and bull from the HSE.

flatbackfour · 24-03-2013 09:15PM

Nodin wrote: »

You're absolutely right. Some 16/17 year old lad/young one would never, ever, ever think about sex if it wasn't for modern society.

Well it is I remember my own teenage years, in the 80's. The thought of a womans company or worse - her "parts" - would set me into a spasm of vomiting. 'God's antidote' it was called, for impure and scary thoughts. I was 26 before I could say the word "breast" without smacking my head off a wall for a few minutes.

This has nothing to do with attitudes from the 1980s. You do realise that the age of concent in ireland is 18 and are you seriously telling me 16 or 17 year olds engaging in threesums is good for their mental health?

Arawn · 24-03-2013 09:15PM

flatbackfour wrote: »

This has nothing to do with attitudes from the 1980s. You do realise that the age of concent in ireland is 18 and are you seriously telling me 16 or 17 year olds engaging in threesums is good for their mental health?

Eh you do realise it's 17

Einhard · 24-03-2013 09:17PM

Seaneh wrote: »

Spunout deal with people from 16-25, the material they publish is aimed at people across that spectrum, some of it wont be applicable to people at the younger end of it (this sort of stuff) and some of it won't be applicable to people at the older end of it. However, the reality is that teenagers do have sex, a lot of it. So why not give them the reality rather than just tell them "don't do that" because that's worked fecking great so far....

Well I never stated that they should be told not to have sex, and that's part of the problem. Anyone who might have any type of objection to this, however mild, is lumped in with the old prudes of yesteryear for whom sex was a sinful act. Having a threesome is a serious decision, and can have quite damaging consequences. I'm not sure that most teenage couples would give the side effects the necessary consideration before plunging in. I'm not saying they shouldn't be given advice on threesomes, but rather that statements such as "it can add serious passion to the bedroom" is a bit flippant and sensationalist in that context.

Also, the age spectrum with which they deal seems quite broad. Would it not be better to have a forum for teenagers, and a forum for those aged 18-25? I'm pretty certain that the proportion of 25 year olds looking for advice on threesomes is higher than that of 16 year olds, so why have it all lumped together?

flatbackfour · 24-03-2013 09:18PM

Einhard wrote: »

I don't know. I understand that giving teenagers unbiased information about sexual topics is a good thing, but it seems a bit odd to be telling teenagers that they can really add spice and passion to their sex lives by engaging in threesomes. They can have serious consequences, and I'm not sure if a bunch of school kids would approach a threesome with the type of maturity and awareness that might characterise an adult's thinking on the matter.

I'm not saying that they shouldn't be given info on the issue if they require it, but the actual advice seems a bit sensationalist in itself. And I don't think someone who objects to such an approach is automatically a prudish throwback to a bygone era.

Thanks for that. I thinks its sad that when you question giving advice such as have 3 sums to spice up your sex life (to 16 year olds) your called a 80s prude or a right wing reactionary.

flatbackfour · 24-03-2013 09:20PM

Arawn wrote: »

Eh you do realise it's 17

Yea typo sorry.

aherringterm · 24-03-2013 09:20PM

Id love to have a threesome with two teenagers.

Arawn · 24-03-2013 09:22PM

flatbackfour wrote: »

Yea typo sorry.

How is that a typo you state the age then go to mention the age's before it. That's not a typo that's you being wrong

flatbackfour · 24-03-2013 09:23PM

Madam_X wrote: »

Some teenagers want to do it though, to experiment (although I've no doubt that some just do it in order to look cool - some teens can be really stupid in that sense).
Just because you didn't and you didn't know others who did so, doesn't mean it wasn't happening or that teens didn't want to do it.

WHat are you talking about "just because I did nt and I dont know others who did"

Great argument though.

flatbackfour · 24-03-2013 09:26PM

Arawn wrote: »

How is that a typo you state the age then go to mention the age's before it. That's not a typo that's you being wrong

No I dont think a 17 year old having a threesum is a healthy thing for their mental health wheather its legal or not. And I site designed to promote young peoples mental health actually telling teens that they should have threesums to spice to thier sex life is not a responsible thing to promote for a teens mental health.

LizT · 24-03-2013 09:28PM

flatbackfour wrote: »

No I dont think a 17 year old having a threesum is a healthy thing for their mental health wheather its legal or not. And I site designed to promote young peoples mental health actually telling teens that they should have threesums to spice to thier sex life is not a responsible thing to promote for a teens mental health.

They're not promoting threesomes. They're giving a balanced account of the pro and cons, it's a resource for teens to use if they need it.

1ZRed · 24-03-2013 09:36PM

flatbackfour wrote: »

INformation is fine but why not say as a fist principal that engaging in threesums as a teenager is probably not the best thing to be doing. Teens are not developmentally ready for this kind of activity. Even as an adult engaging in three sums is probably only ever going to lead to jealously regret insecurity etc.

I take it you've never had a threesome? I think it's a bit ignorant to be painting all teenagers as not being mature enough to understand and handle them.
I'm 18 and I've had a threesome. I've never been left with feelings of regret, insecurity or jealously from it either.

It was a laugh, it was all consensual and most importantly, it was safe. That was it. I understood what I was getting myself into and knew the situation before committing to it.

Yeah some teenagers may not be prepared for a threesome but I think it's a bit idiotic to assume that none of us would be when I'd argue the majority would understand what we were getting ourselves into.

flatbackfour wrote: »

Threesums fun? As a teen? FFS i must be getting old.

Sex fun? As a teen?

I don't think age has much of a baring on things as you'd think. As soon as teenagers feel they are ready for sex, they also find themselves wanting to explore more, be it threesomes or other fantasies. I don't see what's so hard to understand about that.

Nodin · 24-03-2013 10:30PM

flatbackfour wrote: »

No I dont think a 17 year old having a threesum is a healthy thing for their mental health wheather its legal or not. And I site designed to promote young peoples mental health actually telling teens that they should have threesums to spice to thier sex life is not a responsible thing to promote for a teens mental health.

Yep. They'll go mad, get hairy palms, and have to be sent off to the home for the bewildered....terrible, really.

flatbackfour · 24-03-2013 10:31PM

LizT wrote: »

They're not promoting threesomes. They're giving a balanced account of the pro and cons, it's a resource for teens to use if they need it.

If you're looking to spice things up in your relationship a threesome could be the way to go

Threesomes can be really exciting and fun

Sounds like advocacy or promotion to me.

And on balance don't you think teens age 16 engaging in threesums is a negative thing and should be more overtly said so. Or at least something like.

Or at least a greater focus on the negative aspects of engaging in this as a teen.

As if engaging in threesums as a teen is value neutral.

Its a shame that we seem so intent to overly sexualise teens and normalize behavior like threesums. In truth the research suggests that 80% of teens are not sexually active. Yet spun out are telling teens that threesums can spice up thier sex life

Teens are not developmentally ready for threesums (thats if as an adult its developmentally appropriate and not very psychologically messy)

mikom · 24-03-2013 10:35PM

History repeats itself........

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uswOGpz5aKA

The people decrying this threesome "scandal" will be seen as backward by the vast majority of people in the future.......... if they haven't been seen as such by any clear thinker already.

Madam_X · 24-03-2013 10:37PM

flatbackfour wrote: »

Sounds like advocacy or promotion to me.

And on balance don't you think teens age 16 engaging in threesums is a negative thing and should be more overtly said so. Or at least something like.

Or at least a greater focus on the negative aspects of engaging in this as a teen.

As if engaging in threesums as a teen is value neutral.

Its a shame that we seem so intent to overly sexualise teens and normalize behavior like threesums. In truth the research suggests that 80% of teens are not sexually active. Yet spun out are telling teens that threesums can spice up thier sex life

Teens are not developmentally ready for threesums (thats if as an adult its developmentally appropriate and not very psychologically messy)

So apart from the "Threesomes are a good way to spice up your sex life" bit, if there was just important info (including potential negatives and emphasising the "Don't do anything you don't feel comfortable with" stuff) regarding threesomes, specifically aimed at those teenagers who are going to engage in them anyway and not saying it's the norm for teens to be having them, would that really be so problematic?

It isn't an absolute certainty that it's detrimental to all teens' mental health. I'd reckon though, that they'd have to be fairly mature.

1ZRed, you seem very mature for your age. I, for example, wouldn't have had the confidence to be so sexually experimental when I was your age - but I was also way less mature.

phelixoflaherty · 24-03-2013 10:40PM

Does FHE know about this

flatbackfour · 24-03-2013 10:41PM

Nodin wrote: »

Yep. They'll go mad, get hairy palms, and have to be sent off to the home for the bewildered....terrible, really.

Why not keep to the substance of the issue rather than engaging in posts where you are doing nothing other than trying to ridicule.

I see teens every day who are very confused about sex, they think every one is engaging in horny sex at 15-16. They are doing things they are not ready for and with lads who are out to get them pissed knacker drinking and then get them to give them oral sex in groups etc. its not consensual its not educated, its not people deciding for themselves in a mature way. At the same time we have a media selling products and sexualising teens earlier and earlier sending messages that sex is value nuetral and has no consequences. If anyone tells you anything differently they are being a nerd or a square.

If you had a child of 16 do you think them engaging in a threesum to spice up their sex life would be good for them or appropriate?

"HSE funding advice on teen threesomes" - Sindo

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