Lion Mauls Woman Having Sex. Man Lives.

The Aussie · 07-03-2013 08:26PM #1

Que jokes about big Pussies.

He must have had some protection on, good for him.

"Lion mauls woman having sex in African bush
A woman was reportedly killed by a lion while she was having sex with her boyfriend in the African bush.
Sharai Mawera and her unnamed partner were having sex outdoors in an isolated spot near the northern Zimbabwe town of Kariba on Tuesday when a lion attacked them, The Herald reports.
The man managed to escape to a nearby road and raise the alarm.
But Ms Mawera did not survive the attack and a source told MyZimbabwe.com that when police and wildlife rangers found her she was already dead.
"She had bloody bruises all over her body," the source said.
"Her neck and tummy had been mauled."
Police and rangers also discovered a man’s severed arm in the area, leading them to believe the lion may have killed another person the day earlier.
Residents of the town are reportedly on high alert in the wake of the attacks."

MadsL · 07-03-2013 08:28PM

Were they lion down when they were doing it?

kneemos · 07-03-2013 08:29PM

Fail to see the funny side.

Big Nasty · 07-03-2013 08:29PM

Que?

I mean what?

Seachmall · 07-03-2013 08:29PM

Like the pull-out technique. African style.

magick · 07-03-2013 08:30PM

that was fair mane of the lion

starlings · 07-03-2013 08:32PM

thread title is confusing...

07-03-2013 08:32PM

Well their sexual acts crossed the Lion!

jugger0 · 07-03-2013 08:32PM

Ouch... being killed and eaten has to be one of the worst ways to die.

starlings · 07-03-2013 08:34PM

jugger0 wrote: »

Ouch... being killed and eaten has to be one of the worst ways to die.

em, I think you have the killing and eating in the wrong order.

Praetorian Saighdiuir · 07-03-2013 08:34PM

The Aussie wrote: »

"Lion mauls woman having sex in African bush"

Lazy reporters!

It should be "man having sex in African bush".

matchthis · 07-03-2013 08:36PM

In mother Africa, pussy eats you :pac:

Chuck Stone · 07-03-2013 08:38PM

kneemos wrote: »

Fail to see the funny side.

It's funny because they're far away and not like us and were killed by a creature we only see in zoos.

That's how it works, no?

admiralofthefleet · 07-03-2013 08:46PM

My friend was killed by a lion.

I told him they contain nuts but he didn't believe me

HTML5! · 07-03-2013 08:49PM

Chuck Stone wrote: »

It's funny because they're far away and not like us and were killed by a creature we only see in zoos.

That's how it works, no?

Yeah imagine the outrage if they somehow drowned in lions sh!t.

furiousox · 07-03-2013 08:53PM

Maybe the lion was jealous.

0ph0rce0 · 07-03-2013 08:56PM

kneemos wrote: »

Fail to see the funny side.

Man & Woman Having Sex..

Lion Looks On And Says "Oooohhh I'll Have What He's Having"

LION ENTERS...

Funny As Hell :pac:

senorwipesalot · 07-03-2013 09:02PM

She was on top
he was just lion there.

Wattle · 07-03-2013 09:05PM

I am woman. Hear me roar.

Pace2008 · 07-03-2013 09:17PM

kneemos wrote: »

Fail to see the funny side.

Well, the woman was eaten by a lion, an event that, by itself, is extremely unusual (about 1 per 150 million deaths!). Add to this the fact that the mauling apparently happened during the act of coitus and I'm sure you'll agree that the incident is so unlikely that it appears absurd. It is this from this surreal aspect of the situation that the humour is being derived.

Hope this helped and I wish you the best of luck with your self-righteous endeavours.

07-03-2013 09:18PM

Chuck Stone wrote: »

It's funny because they're far away and not like us and were killed by a creature we only see in zoos.

That's how it works, no?

"These are small! Those are far away"

"Small.... Far away!"

kneemos · 07-03-2013 09:29PM

Pace2008 wrote: »

Well, the woman was eaten by a lion, an event that, by itself, is extremely unusual (about 1 per 150 million deaths!). Add to this the fact that the mauling apparently happened during the act of coitus and I'm sure you'll agree that the incident is so unlikely that it appears absurd. It is this from this surreal aspect of the situation that the humour is being derived.

Hope this helped and I wish you the best of luck with your self-righteous endeavours.

How is it self righteous to not find someone dying a horrible death unfunny?and why are you being so defensive?

exador · 07-03-2013 11:25PM

Guess he got more pussy than he bargained for when he entered the bush !

Ilik Urgee · 07-03-2013 11:35PM

That's what you get for mixing up your Tight Fit with Barry White

hatrickpatrick · 07-03-2013 11:37PM

This thread could have been absolutely epic.
AH, rarely do you disappoint me. I am saddened.

Rightwing · 07-03-2013 11:39PM

that couple crossed the lion

Fr_Dougal · 07-03-2013 11:41PM

Deleted User wrote: »

"These are small! Those are far away"

"Small.... Far away!"

eamonnq · 07-03-2013 11:47PM

A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two young people show up. One is a good looking guy in his mid-twenties and the other is a gorgeous blonde about the same age.

The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you both better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment - a chair, a whip, and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"

The girl says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her, so she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body.

The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her ankles. He continues to lick her calves, kisses them, and then rests his head at her feet.

The circus owner's mouth is on the floor. He remarks, "I've never seen a display like that in my life." He then turns to the young man and asks, "Can you top that?"

"No problem," replies the young man, "just get that lion out of the way."

efb · 07-03-2013 11:48PM

Big pussy always trumps little pussy

Rightwing · 07-03-2013 11:50PM

i saw on the paper today that a woman was killed in california by a lion, she went into the enclosure

Ruudi_Mentari · 07-03-2013 11:52PM

I think the lion got his priorities wrong..

else was just too rough having won her over but the man will have to live with how he lost out, that day. Bush is wild.

Lion Mauls Woman Having Sex. Man Lives.

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