Amusing Pub Tales

Boombastic · 06-03-2013 02:57AM

Lapin wrote: »

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walked into a pub.

The barman looked at them and said, 'whats this some kind of joke'?

So a guy walks in to a bar...:pac:

somefeen · 06-03-2013 03:12AM

Boombastic wrote: »

I walked in to a bar once, the barman said, 'Why the long face', I wasn't impressed as it hurt

There has to be a burger joke in there somewhere

Where To · 06-03-2013 03:14AM

My dyslexic friend walked into a bra once.

Lucky bastard.

BillyMitchel · 06-03-2013 05:13AM

I just let fag ash fall in my eye because I'm laughing so hard, I'm obviously not in a pub though because smoking is banned.

Does that count OP?

danniemcq · 06-03-2013 08:53AM

bit of a long one but...

when working in my local for a birthday party i had the misfortune of going for a sh*t at the worst possible time. As i was relieving myself i heard a womans voice along with another guys as they entered the toilets. The other cubicle door opened and closed and amongst a few shuffling noises there was the undoing of a belt buckle. As i listened closer it became very VERY apparent that she was getting a good hard ramming from someone. oh how i laughed and finished dropping the kids off. It was only when i came out to the bar again that i realised what was going on.

The girl in question was the girl celebtaring her 21st with her entire family and her boyfreind and their friends. however seeing that her boyfriend was still out here a quick head count meant that she had taken the guy that 5 minutes before had been sleeping at the bar.

Oh oh

it was only a matter of time before someone she knew went for a sh*t, heard the commotion and told the family ( i had just told the locals, we wanted some fun that night so we sat back and relaxed) The father went ape**** trying to kick down the door, the boyfrind was in tears, people were trying to console the hysterical mother, friends were fighting eachother and blaming everyone else and she refused to come out cause "all you f*ckers don't understand" it carried on for another 5 mins or so by this time the hallway was packed before the guy made a run for it got caught and had to be grabbed by myself an 2 other staff as the family wanted blood. we put him into the back room got most of the troublemakers out (inc the girls who you could hear crying the whole way up the road. oh how we laughed until we came back into the back bar to see loverboy asleep again and a smell wafting from his direction. Yes ladies and gents this romeo who the birthday girl had chosen was better than her current boyfriend was now lying asleep in a chair having both shat himself and pissed his pants. Classy. i do feel sorry for the mate who had to give him a lift home.