Would you have cracked!

chakotha · 27-02-2013 06:38PM

It was nice but bordering on patronising of the fella to do it. He should have minded his own rather thinking he knew better than the kids Mum.

Edit: Unless they looked poverty stricken.

boboldpilot · 27-02-2013 06:44PM

My four year old is an expert at that kind of thing. His favourite method is to use a very soft, slightly sobbing voice for maximum pathos. 'Daddy we (meaning him and his brother) never get creme eggs. Please daddy please!' if I resist he eventually dissolves in to tears and I end up feeling like the worst Daddy in the world. In fact he's told me as much.

This morning it was a 'kid's magazine.' I've never brought them to McDonalds, bought a toy, a lollipop, sweets or 'anything nice.' Also I never bring them to the cinema or go on holiday where there's an outside swimming pool.

Seriously social services should come and take me away in chains!

In the local shop, they're onto him and just laugh but elsewhere I cringe. There's this cute little blond, blue eyed Oliver Twist type kid begging his uncaring Daddy for a little treat.

He'll go far! The brat!

alph · 27-02-2013 06:53PM

If I ate chocolate I'd buy one and eat it in front of the child, then leave and let her deal with the repercussions of my actions

.

I lie, I would never do this, the guilt would be too much

slavetothegrind · 27-02-2013 06:54PM

boboldpilot wrote: »

My four year old is an expert at that kind of thing. His favourite method is to use a very soft, slightly sobbing voice for maximum pathos. 'Daddy we (meaning him and his brother) never get creme eggs. Please daddy please!' if I resist he eventually dissolves in to tears and I end up feeling like the worst Daddy in the world. In fact he's told me as much.

This morning it was a 'kid's magazine.' I've never brought them to McDonalds, bought a toy, a lollipop, sweets or 'anything nice.' Also I never bring them to the cinema or go on holiday where there's an outside swimming pool.

Seriously social services should come and take me away in chains!

In the local shop, they're onto him and just laugh but elsewhere I cringe. There's this cute little blond, blue eyed Oliver Twist type kid begging his uncaring Daddy for a little treat.

He'll go far! The brat!

kudos sir, your playing a blinder!

Lawless2k12 · 27-02-2013 07:40PM

Maybe the woman had hatched a plan in her head to get the egg for free... :pac:

LETHAL LADY · 27-02-2013 07:54PM

Give a child a creme egg and you feed him for a day. Teach a child to steal and you feed him for a lifetime.

MrTsSnickers · 27-02-2013 07:57PM

strobe wrote: »

It's not just as easy, it's much much easier. Even easier again would have been to just buy the egg herself when the child cried. Doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. He was a grown man, I'm sure he would get over being made 'feel bad' by a mother politely telling him not to give her child a sweet after she had told him he couldn't have it...

It's times/posts like these I wish this place and an upvote/downvote type system. Why not just take the blasted egg of the kindly gentleman, put it in your pocket and not give it to the child. Lots of people have given my child sweets when I don't want them to have them, just take it off their hands and in to a bag/pocket. It's to the point (this has been happening since my kid was a toddler) where the child'll almost hand over the sweets and have them after dinner or whatever. Not everything's a bloody drama.

Czarcasm · 27-02-2013 08:37PM

MrTsSnickers wrote: »

It's times/posts like these I wish this place and an upvote/downvote type system. Why not just take the blasted egg of the kindly gentleman, put it in your pocket and not give it to the child. Lots of people have given my child sweets when I don't want them to have them, just take it off their hands and in to a bag/pocket. It's to the point (this has been happening since my kid was a toddler) where the child'll almost hand over the sweets and have them after dinner or whatever. Not everything's a bloody drama.

One could've taught the child a lot of life lessons here in one fell swoop-

1. You don't get everything you want in life just because you want it. You have to earn it.

2. Learn to say "NO!", and make sure a person knows you mean NO!

3. Never accept sweets or gifts from strangers.

Instead the child has now learned that if they feel they are entitled to something, if one person won't get it for them, some other poor fool always will.

SV · 27-02-2013 08:39PM

Czarcasm wrote: »

Instead the child has now learned that if they feel they are entitled to something, if one person won't get it for them, some other poor fool always will.

Well..that'd be very accurate.

MrTsSnickers · 27-02-2013 08:51PM

Czarcasm wrote: »

One could've taught the child a lot of life lessons here in one fell swoop-

Czarcasm wrote: »

1. You don't get everything you want in life just because you want it. You have to earn it.

And by taking iit away from the child and giving it later (obviously dependent on behaviour) as a treat, wheres the problem?

Czarcasm wrote: »

2. Learn to say "NO!", and make sure a person knows you mean NO!

They're a child, they'll learn to say no with great vim and gusto by the time early childhood is over. It's up to parents to encourage their children to be competent socially (e.g. saying no in situations that they don't want to proceed) by encouraging self esteem and confidence in their own abilities. Not by being rude to someone.

Czarcasm wrote: »

3. Never accept sweets or gifts from strangers.

So they can't learn from their parent about how to behave in a mannerly way. Or else you're suggesting that a child shouldn't trust their parents judgement because you can't be interacting with strangers on any level, especially while a parent is present, or you'll be kidnapped/abused- exaggerated stranger danger or what

Czarcasm wrote: »

Instead the child has now learned that if they feel they are entitled to something, if one person won't get it for them, some other poor fool always will.

You do know that children usually learn how to behave by following their parent's cues, and not some random kind stranger. Unless you plan on handing the kid over to the stranger I suppose.

It's awful easy to suck the joy out of life, but jeez some of the best memories I have as a kid are getting a few bits and bobs as a kid that you didn't eggpect (sorry, sorry)! even if it's a silly book as hand me down, (I loved the t-shirts that my older English (they clearly had access to cooler stuff in Engerland!) cousins gave me and the old man who gave 10p after mass to go to the shop.

ardinn · 27-02-2013 08:51PM

jester77 wrote: »

Creme egg, eh!

What a fuc*ed up photo collection - I'm not sure if that snake is lucky or not!!

Madam_X · 27-02-2013 08:56PM

Bet lots of people who say "You shouldn't give a child everything they whinge for" are the same people with unbridled venom towards small children screaming in public.

HondaSami · 27-02-2013 08:56PM

Czarcasm wrote: »

Instead the child has now learned that if they feel they are entitled to something, if one person won't get it for them, some other poor fool always will.

Or the child might remember the kind man who bought him a cream egg and the child might grow up to respect people and to be nice.

vitani · 27-02-2013 09:01PM

Madam_X wrote: »

Bet lots of people who say "You shouldn't give a child everything they whinge for" are the same people with unbridled venom towards small children screaming in public.

Can't speak for anybody else, but that's my parenting style. If I've already said no to something, then I don't give in to whinging or tantrums.

I'm also not hostile towards children screaming, but wouldn't think much of the parents who indulge them to get them to stop.

27-02-2013 09:03PM

Madam_X wrote: »

Bet lots of people who say "You shouldn't give a child everything they whinge for" are the same people with unbridled venom towards small children screaming in public.

Exactly what I was thinking.

Give the child the egg, you're creating an entitled little brat who expects everything he wants to be handed to him - bad parent!

Don't give the child the egg, the child cries and you studiously ignore it, and the peace of everyone around is disrupted by 'screaming brat who's mother does nothing to shut it up' - bad parent!

3ndahalfof6 · 27-02-2013 09:04PM

Kick them in the face, if this does not work, blast them with pisss.

strobe · 27-02-2013 09:09PM

MrTsSnickers wrote: »

It's times/posts like these I wish this place and an upvote/downvote type system. Why not just take the blasted egg of the kindly gentleman, put it in your pocket and not give it to the child. Lots of people have given my child sweets when I don't want them to have them, just take it off their hands and in to a bag/pocket. It's to the point (this has been happening since my kid was a toddler) where the child'll almost hand over the sweets and have them after dinner or whatever. Not everything's a bloody drama.

What's the purpose of up/down voting? If you disagree with an opinion on the site you are free to address it like you just have, this cultivates discussion. It's a winning system.

You believe the best approach when you tell your child they can't have something is to allow someone else to give it to them anyway, then remove it from the crying child's hand, them give it to them later anyway.

I believe the best approach would be to say "sorry, I already told him no". And to explain to the child why they can't have it.

Big Bottom · 27-02-2013 09:11PM

That old man should have minded his own business.

Madam_X · 27-02-2013 09:13PM

vitani wrote: »

Can't speak for anybody else, but that's my parenting style. If I've already said no to something, then I don't give in to whinging or tantrums.

I'm also not hostile towards children screaming, but wouldn't think much of the parents who indulge them to get them to stop.

Well that's not what I mean, because there isn't a double standard in your approach/view.

Fair play to you - that's what I would view as the ideal, but I wouldn't blame a parent for giving their child a treat in public to get them to quieten down, in order to ward off hostility from onlookers who don't understand that small children sometimes have tantrums no matter how competent their parents are.

27-02-2013 09:13PM

mariaalice wrote: »

not scream or have a temper tantrum just a pityful cry of please mama please mama which quietened down to a sob

In other words, he was learning his lesson before the man interfered.

HondaSami wrote: »

The man was just being kind, it might not be appropriate but no need to make a big deal out of it either, he was doing it for the right reasons.

What were the "right reasons"? I can only see two reasons the man would have done it. Either he thought the mother couldn't buy it, or wouldn't buy it. In the case of "couldn't", it doesn't sound from the OP that the woman was too impoverished to buy a creme egg. If it was the case that he thought she "wouldn't", then he understood that the mother had made a decision not to get her child a treat, and thought the woman was wrong, and was trying to correct her mistake. Which is incredibly rude. Not to mention the fact that he had no idea about the context of the mother's decision and was probably doing far more harm than good.

Czarcasm · 27-02-2013 09:15PM

MrTsSnickers wrote: »

And by taking iit away from the child and giving it later (obviously dependent on behaviour) as a treat, wheres the problem?

They're a child, they'll learn to say no with great vim and gusto by the time early childhood is over. It's up to parents to encourage their children to be competent socially (e.g. saying no in situations that they don't want to proceed) by encouraging self esteem and confidence in their own abilities. Not by being rude to someone.

So they can't learn from their parent about how to behave in a mannerly way. Or else you're suggesting that a child shouldn't trust their parents judgement because you can't be interacting with strangers on any level, especially while a parent is present, or you'll be kidnapped/abused- exaggerated stranger danger or what

You do know that children usually learn how to behave by following their parent's cues, and not some random kind stranger. Unless you plan on handing the kid over to the stranger I suppose.

It's awful easy to suck the joy out of life, but jeez some of the best memories I have as a kid are getting a few bits and bobs as a kid that you didn't eggpect (sorry, sorry)! even if it's a silly book as hand me down, (I loved the t-shirts that my older English (they clearly had access to cooler stuff in Engerland!) cousins gave me and the old man who gave 10p after mass to go to the shop.

Your original point stood on the fact that saying no to the man who bought the egg would create a lot of unnecessary drama, but look at the analysis you've just done. This could simply be avoided by saying "NO!", or if you had to be polite about it after having your parental authority usurped by a stranger- "No thank you."

strobe · 27-02-2013 09:16PM

Madam_X wrote: »

Bet lots of people who say "You shouldn't give a child everything they whinge for" are the same people with unbridled venom towards small children screaming in public.

I bet lots of people who say "sure just let the child have it" are the same ones with unbridled venom for the number of spoilt children running around and flock to threads about hitting children with cries of 'sure you can't reason with a child, sometimes all they understand is a smack.'
Perhaps if they were a little more consistent and didn't always look for the easy way out when the child was small they would know this is bollix.

vitani · 27-02-2013 09:17PM

Madam_X wrote: »

Well that's not what I mean, because there isn't a double standard in your approach/view.

Fair play to you - that's what I would view as the ideal, but I wouldn't blame a parent for giving their child a treat in public to get them to quieten down, in order to ward off hostility from onlookers who don't understand that small children sometimes have tantrums no matter how competent their parents are.

Thanks - I took you up wrong!

Just to add what I meant by indulging a child - I was in a shared play area a few months back. There was a little boy there with his dad. He'd been playing with a toy but lost interest in it and started playing with something else. My daughter went towards the toy he had stopped playing with and he started to get upset.

His dad picked him up and started making a fuss of him, before bringing him off to get a drink.

I really do try not to judge someone else's parenting but tbh, I think the little lad was old enough to be told (and understand) that it was another child's turn.

I think some parents are almost afraid of tantrums sometimes.

HondaSami · 27-02-2013 09:18PM

true-or-false wrote: »

What were the "right reasons"? I can only see two reasons the man would have done it. Either he thought the mother couldn't buy it, or wouldn't buy it. In the case of "couldn't", it doesn't sound from the OP that the woman was too impoverished to buy a creme egg. If it was the case that he thought she "wouldn't", then he understood that the mother had made a decision not to get her child a treat, and thought the woman was wrong, and was trying to correct her mistake. Which is incredibly rude. Not to mention the fact that he had no idea about the context of the mother's decision and was probably doing far more harm than good.

Im sure he did not give it much thought other than buying a cream egg for a child. I don't think it's a bad thing, depending on how you look at it i suppose but im sure he did not see it as going against the mother.

Can people not be nice anymore, is everything seen as an ulterior motive?

The mother accepted the cream egg, she did not feel it necessary to have a go at the gentleman.

SimonTemplar · 27-02-2013 09:20PM

That child learned two important life lessons today:

1) If you don't get what you want, kick up as much of a fuss as possible and you'll eventually get your way (future retail managers beware - so much for your almighty returns policy).

2) It's perfectly OK to accept sweets from complete strangers. Nothing bad could ever come from that.

MrTsSnickers · 27-02-2013 09:23PM

strobe wrote: »

You believe the best approach when you tell your child they can't have something is to allow someone else to give it to them anyway, then remove it from the crying child's hand, them give it to them later anyway.

I believe the best approach would be to say "sorry, I already told him no". And to explain to the child why they can't have it.

I believe in not embarrassing people that were just trying to be kind by an over inflated sense of righteousness. Like I said it has gotten to the point that my child (in a butchers we go to regularly they give the kids lollipops when you pay) hands it over til later (this has happened through explaining that he cant have it now, but later after lunch/dinner or whatever that's no problem, if you've he's good). Or at birthday parties I've noticed that the kids that have very strict parents re sweets are the kids to really gorge themselves at the treat table. Jeez a balance without rudeness isn't hard to strike.

HondaSami · 27-02-2013 09:24PM

SimonTemplar wrote: »

That child learned two important life lessons today:

1) If you don't get what you want, kick up as much of a fuss as possible and you'll eventually get your way (future retail managers beware - so much for your almighty returns policy).

The child did not kick up a fuss.

wolfpawnat · 27-02-2013 09:25PM

Madam_X wrote: »

Bet lots of people who say "You shouldn't give a child everything they whinge for" are the same people with unbridled venom towards small children screaming in public.

I think a lot of those people just despise children for being outside of the classroom or their home. Some people seem to think they should be allowed go through their lives without having to encounter children, many of which feel that way and have children of their own, they just don't want to deal with any that are not their kids.

strobe · 27-02-2013 09:28PM

MrTsSnickers wrote: »

I believe in not embarrassing people that were just trying to be kind by an over inflated sense of righteousness. Like I said it has gotten to the point that my child (in a butchers we go to regularly they give the kids lollipops when you pay) hands it over til later (this has happened through explaining that he cant have it now, but later after lunch/dinner or whatever that's no problem, if you've he's good). Or at birthday parties I've noticed that the kids that have very strict parents re sweets are the kids to really gorge themselves at the treat table. Jeez a balance without rudeness isn't hard to strike.

I mentioned nothing of rudeness, in fact I emphasized politeness. Read my posts a little more carefully if you're intent on addressing them, it'll save us both time.

Embarrassing people? Come off it, saying "sorry I told him no" is hardly pulling his trousers round his ankles now is it? Is this man the most sensitive soul who has ever graced our fine and noble land, or what, in your imagination?

27-02-2013 09:29PM

HondaSami wrote: »

Im sure he did not give it much thought other than buying a cream egg for a child. I don't think it's a bad thing, depending on how you look at it i suppose but im sure he did not see it as going against the mother.

Can people not be nice anymore, is everything seen as an ulterior motive?

The mother accepted the cream egg, she did not feel it necessary to have a go at the gentleman.

I can see what you mean - I'm sure he didn't actively decide to undermine the mother. However I don't think that the lack of visible anger from the mother means she was ok with it. The likelihood of the mother being a sadist purposely denying her child what it wanted in order to get her kicks is negligible compared to the likelihood of her saying no in order to discipline and instill a sense of patience/"can't always get whatever you want" in her child. I think it's a valuable lesson that a lot of parents don't bother to teach their child because it's easier to buy a creme egg than put up with crying.

I'm a bit biased to be honest because I work at a shop counter a day or two a week and the difference between the kids that take "no" and the kids that don't is huge. As is the difference between the parents of those two types of kids. And I don't say that purely from a judgmental standpoint. They do frequently cause havok at the tills.

Would you have cracked!

Comments